Chapter Twenty-Nine
The shrill of the phone pierced the dark room, and Beckett sat straight up in bed to answer it. "Beckett."
She raised her hand to her mouth, unable to speak for a moment as she listened to the other end of the phone call. No. No. It couldn't be true.
"We'll be right there," she said when she found her voice at last, her hand shaking as she lowered the phone, letting it fall slackly onto the covers as she tried to breathe, tried to think.
"Who is it?" Castle mumbled beside her, still half asleep, and she shook him awake with her heart in her mouth.
"Wake up," she whispered, and her stomach churned. If she told Castle what had happened it would be real, and on that thought, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Unable to risk staying still anymore, she took hasty steps from the bed through to the bathroom and emptied the contents of her stomach into the sink.
This wasn't how it was supposed to go. They were all supposed to be safe. He'd told her he had insurance. He was taking care of this. Beckett ran her fingers through her hair, staring at her pale reflection in the mirror.
"Are you okay?" Castle asked from the other side of the door, knocking lightly, and she sank down, reaching to turn the faucet on to wash the sink before slumping onto the floor.
"Mmm," she replied, forcing herself to speak, and he knocked again, swinging the door open and stepping hesitantly into the dark bathroom, flipping on one of the lamps by the mirror.
"Who was it? What's happened?" he asked, crouching beside her on the floor, and she shook her head, eyes wide.
"Montgomery. They shot him. He's dead."
She was conscious of his hands on her thighs, steadying her, the warmth from his fingers bleeding through the thin material of her pajama pants, and she leaned her head back, looking at him, meeting his concerned blue eyes.
"Oh, Kate," he said at last. "Let me take you somewhere. Somewhere you'll be safe."
She smiled even as she realized tears were falling. She wiped roughly across her face, sniffing as she realized her nose was running too.
"There's nowhere safe," she whispered. "I have to face this head on." She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, but Montgomery's voice echoed through her mind.
"I felt the hand of God upon me"
"What are you thinking? We keep going on like we did today? Say nothing?"
Kate shrugged at Esposito, her hands wrapped around her coffee. Midnight was no time for caffeine, but it had been a long day answering questions at the precinct. If she and the boys were going to have these conversations now, it was a necessary evil.
"Keep it to ourselves. In the family. The way he wanted it. The last thing he told me was that he was taking care of it. He said he'd rocked some boats, but that he had insurance. I'm hoping this means that this is it."
"That's how you want to play it?" Espo asked, his eyes narrowed in anger. "A hope? You'd better be right!"
"Hey!" Castle interjected, shifting forward and shielding her from where Espo stood. Kate laid a calm hand on his shoulder, forcing him back.
"It's okay," she told him, meeting his eyes; she couldn't expect him to understand the years of history she and Esposito had, and right now Espo had every right to be angry.
"This is how I want to play it," she said stubbornly, staring Espo down, and he shrugged, sitting at last.
"I hope you're right," he muttered.
"We don't want to involve Evelyn," Ryan pointed out, and she shook her head.
"No."
"But don't you think someone needs to know?" Castle asked, and Kate bit her lip, staring vacantly at the bold print on her wall. It had seemed like an amazing find, when she bought the print, but now the image of bombs falling as the woman ran across the bridge was strangely unsettling.
"Who would we tell?" she asked at last. "Iron Gates? You all saw her today as she was introduced around the precinct. Word is she''s being reassigned from IA- she'll be there within a few weeks."
"Gates?" Ryan's lip curled in disgust. "She's as by the book as they come."
"No, man," Espo agreed. "You're right. I don't want to drag Montgomery's name through the mud. Not if we don't have to."
"We don't," Kate insisted.
Castle leaned his head back against the sofa, closing his eyes, and Beckett took a deep breath. This wasn't how this was meant to go. This wasn't how anything was meant to go. She found herself wishing that it had been random gang violence, way back on that cold January day. She wished that she'd never doubted Raglan, wished that she'd stayed at Stanford, started fresh in California, all those years ago. Montgomery's sins had come home to roost and everyone was paying for them.
She sighed, standing. It was past late; time for Espo and Ryan to go home. She smiled sadly as the boys followed her lead, watching the faint curve of Esposito's lips as he met her eyes, and she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around the man who had become her brother in the last few years.
"It'll be okay," she murmured in his ear, lying through her teeth and she felt him shrug and when he pulled away, his eyes wet. She wiped at her own, sniffing inelegantly as Espo nodded.
"Yeah," he lied back. "It'll be okay.""
She watched silently as they let themselves out, allowing her tears to flow freely now that it was just her and Castle. Two more days until the funeral. They would get through this. They had to.
"Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop. He taught me that we are bound by our choices, but we are more than our mistakes. Captain Montgomery once said to me that for us, there is no victory. There are only battles. And in the end, the best you can hope for is to find a place to make your stand. And if you're very lucky, you find someone to stand with you."
Beckett forced her voice to carry, battling to keep her face devoid of tears. To get through this. To not look at Evelyn. To not look at the coffin. She looked, instead, at Castle, intent on taking a deep breath and steadying herself. But something was off. A flicker of light. Just a glint, where it shouldn't be, and she looked out again across the green of the cemetery. The world stilled a moment, the warmth of the sunlight suffocating through her dress blues, the birds silent for a moment. And then it all shattered in a burst of gunfire, screams sounding from the crowd.
"Get down!"
"Castle!"
"Ryan!"
"No!"
She leapt, intent upon pushing Rick out of the line of fire. Too late. Too late. The words echoed through her skull although she was sure no-one had voiced them.
"Castle's down!" someone else cried; that was real, wasn't it? A flurry of activity behind her registered in her peripheral vision, and she was dimly aware that someone else had been hit too, but she crouched over Castle, unable to make herself turn around and assess the scene; her hands forced pressure over bullet wound, but she was helpless to stem the bleeding as red gushed through his shirt.
"Castle, shh… Castle. Stay with me, Rick. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay?
He looked so scared, beneath her, and she blinked back the tears that were forming in her eyes.
"Rick, I love you. I love you, Rick."
A/N: Thank you for your love for Jim last chapter and... *whispers* I'm really sorry, guys. Please come back for next chapter. *sobs*
