Disclaimer: Don't own Grey's Anatomy.
***
Meredith,
I am sorry. I had to leave. I'm not coming back. Hopefully in the future you'll forgive me for what I've done. It was for the best.
-Derek
After three times, the note didn't get any better. Meredith just fell to the floor and sobbed. Derek was gone. Just like Owen. He'd promised he wouldn't leave. He left. He left her all alone for no reason. Had he decided she wasn't good enough? Did she do something wrong? Meredith needed to not be alone. She worked up the energy to get the phone and dial a number. "Hello?" She sniffled.
"Mer?"
"Cristina… I need… I'm sorry I pushed you… but I don't want to be alone right now. I need… I need…" Meredith said trying to hold back tears.
"I'll be right over." Cristina replied, hanging up the phone. Meredith got up and walked towards the closet. Opening the door she noticed all of Derek's clothes were gone. Tears fell harder down her cheeks. Walking over to the dresser she feared the same result. When nothing of his was in the dresser Meredith fell to the floor, racked with sobs. From the floor she spotted Derek's Colombia sweatshirt under the bed. She reached for it, clutching the material between her hands. Sobs racked her whole body. The tears were probably ruining the last thing of hers that smelled like Derek but she didn't care.
And it takes more
time than I've ever had,
Drains the life from me, makes me want to
forget.
As young as I was, I felt older back then,
More
disciplined, stronger and certain.
An hour later Meredith was still sitting on the floor clutching the sweatshirt when she heard the door open. "Meredith!" Cristina called. "I have booze!" Meredith didn't respond she just continued to sob. Cristina heard the crying and rushed into the bedroom with the bottles of tequila. "Mer. What happened?" She sighed, seeing her friend on the floor clutching a piece of paper and a sweatshirt. She shrunk down next to her person. Handing her the letter, Meredith sobbed harder. Cristina read the letter and gasped. She didn't think Derek was capable of breaking Meredith. But he did. Securing her arm around her friend she allowed her to cry into her shoulder.
After about twenty minutes Meredith sat up. "Where's the tequila?" She rasped.
Cristina reached for and opened a bottle. She poured shots for both of them. "To bastards." She raised her glass.
"To bastards." Meredith repeated.
***
"Should we talk to him?" Addison whispered to Mark as they stood behind the door of their guest room.
"I don't think so. We should leave him be." Mark responded to his wife. The door opened.
"Guys, thanks for letting me stay here but, I'm fine. I did the right thing." Derek forced a smile. Both of his friends didn't believe him. They could see the redness in his eyes. They could see his hair had none of its regular product and was taking an odd form.
"Okay." Addison said, letting him believe she believed him and kissing Derek on the cheek and pulling her husband away. Derek shut the door and resumed crying. Finding the Colombia shirt that Meredith had previously taken as hers, he brought it to her face and breathed it in. It smelled like her, lavender. Derek realized it was the right thing to do for Meredith's future, he was dead weight for her. He was completely torn up and dying inside but, it was what was best for her. She mattered more to him than his own life. Derek would do anything to make her happy. She might be upset like he was but she'd get over it and find someone more deserving. Someone who wouldn't hold her back. It's for the best. It's for the best. It's for the best.
But I was scared to
death of eternity,
I was saved by grace and destroyed by
naivety.
And I lied to myself and said it was for the best
***
Slowly opening her eyes, Meredith groaned. Her head hurt, a lot. She reached to the other side of the bed for Derek, but found it empty. Remembering what happened Meredith began to cry. She looked over to the alarm clock and realized she'd be late for class. Derek wouldn't like that. Why should I please Derek though? She thought. He's gone. She got out of bed, with red, bloodshot eyes and headed for class.
***
Derek put his lab coat in his cubby and turned to sit on the bench. He sighed. It'd been the hardest day of his life. Faking happiness, putting on smiled for his patients and friends. The door to the locker room opened. Derek didn't bother to look up to see who it was. The person sat next to Derek sighed. "What do you want Mark?"
"Derek, why did you do this? Just answer me. You're obviously torn up about this. You two were so gooey and mushy… what happened?" Mark asked.
"I… I don't want to hold her back. I'm just dead weight. I'm no good for her."
"Bull. Shit." Mark spat.
"Excuse
me?" Derek asked, confused.
"Bullshit Derek. You don't even believe anything you just said. You need her. And you, you're the best thing that ever happened to that girl." Mark sighed. "She's like me. The Shepherds pretty much adopted me. I had no one. Meredith had no one. Her dad was gone and Dr. Grey was no great mother. Derek, by leaving her you made her loose the only family she's ever known. You've destroyed her." He dashed out of the room, leaving Derek to stir.
And now faith is
replaced with a logic so cold,
I've disregarded what I was now
that I'm older.
And I know much more than I did back then,
But
the more I learn the more I can't understand.
And I've become
content with this life that I lead
Where I drink too much and
don't believe in much of anything
And I lie to myself, and say
it's for the best***
A/N: Yes. Short. I know. But, I have plans and this chapter just seemed done. Oh and to all of my viewers, thanks! You inspire me constantly.
