Catherine

I stared down at the folder I had tossed unceremoniously onto the wooden countertop, flipping it open with a bit too much force. The ink was lightly smudged at the edges of the copied police report, a flaw from my printer that was on it's last legs. I needed to get that fixed. I needed to pass this along to Ecklie so that he could get the sheriff off of our backs. I needed to focus on work and not on Sofia's half dressed form untangling from blankets on the couch.

I heard Sara approaching tentatively.

"Cat…"

"14 years ago a woman named Celia Larson was killed outside of Billings Montana" I cut her off sharply, focusing intently on the dark text. She came to stand beside me, eyes lingering on my features for a long moment before glancing down at the police report with a furrowed brow.

"She was sixteen at the time, living with Liam O'Riley and their six month old daughter Anna"

"The second victim" she noted, eyes scrunching lightly as she examined the paper.

"I thought Liam's grieving wife was her mother… she never said otherwise" Sofia chimed in, voice raspy from sleep.

I lifted my gaze to regard her, lingering momentarily on tired features before travelling slowly over her form. Sara's worn out Harvard t-shirt hung off her frame, long legs interrupted only by a pair of barely there shorts. She pushed a hand through wild hair, glancing between Sara and I uncertainly for a long moment before apparently deciding there was nothing to do but commit to this awkward situation, moving into the kitchen.

"Her and Liam have been married for what, twelve years? By most accounts she is her mother. Just not biologically" I replied, watching her move effortlessly through the small space, grabbing the coffee from one cupboard, the filter from another. I forced my gaze back onto the report, biting back the hurt threatening to spill over in the form of poorly thought out words.

"This report is extremely vague… death by exsanguination?" Sara looked up from the file, searching for my gaze which I blatantly refused her.

"Orson O'Riley- the O'Riley brothers father- was police chief in Billings at the time. Real piece of work. He headed up the investigation and closed it a few days later due to lack of sufficient evidence" I scoffed quietly, tapping a finger against the paper softly. "He wrote this up and tossed it over to the cold cases department, which is more like a dusty drawer in a desk than an actual department"

"How do you know all this?" Sofia asked, the comforting smell of brewing coffee beginning to drift through the apartment.

"I have a friend in the department down there- thought I'd get him to check into the O'Riley name since they're from the area and we are grasping at straws"

"This is great, but how does it tie into the serial case?" Sara asked, dropping down onto a stool. I took a step away, fingertips pressing into the cool wooden countertop.

"They found her body in the desert of Eastern Montana- naked, single stab wound to the chest" I elaborated, glancing up at Sofia. It was marginally easier to look her in the eyes. A blonde eyebrow cocked, lips parting lightly in surprise.

"Let me guess- blonde hair, blue eyes"

I nodded, flipping the folder shut. "Spitting image of Anna O'Riley"

"This is big, Cat- we can work with this" Sara spoke enthusiastically, a steaming cup of coffee slid in front of her in an uncharacteristically pink mug, covered in an array of mismatched hearts. Dark eyes narrowed ever so slightly as she glanced up at Sofia, who suppressed an amused grin, turning to me.

"Coffee?"

The ease of their relationship made my stomach turn. I held her gaze, the reality of her breezing half-dressed through Sara's kitchen, offering me coffee as though she belonged here grating violently against my nerves. The grey shirt accentuated the ice blue of her eyes, and I scoffed quietly at her beauty; at her flippancy; at the cruelty of this situation.

She looked away, over at Sara for a fraction of a second before pressing her lips into a thin line. "I should go"

"No, stay" I spoke firmly enough to make her pause her retreat, letting out a quiet sigh of uncertainty. Sara rubbed a fist against her eye tiredly before sliding a hand on top of the papers, staring at me until I had no choice but to meet her gaze.

"Can I hold onto these for now?" she asked softly, "I've got a meeting with Ecklie tonight and I'd like to have something substantial to show him"

She was beautiful in the morning- wavy hair in a state of dissaray, eyes bright, voice raspier than usual. Even the childish star trek t-shirt that she had obviously owned for ages, worn into a thin fabric with a few holes wearing through was charming. I had come here longing for the feel of her; the smell of her, the comfort of her arms. I just felt nauseous.

"I was going to pass them along myself, but go ahead"

The silent plea to stay was clear behind chocolate eyes, which I ignored entirely, tearing my gaze away and turning towards the door.

"I'll see you tonight"

Some indistinct words to Sofia barely met my ears as I crossed the small space, not looking back as I pulled the door shut behind me. I took a deep breath of the stagnant Vegas air, already heavy with the heat of the day, not allowing the destructive thoughts lingering at the forefront of my mind to take hold.

Predictably, I heard a door open moments later, though I didn't slow my rapid pace towards the stairs.

"Catherine" Sara called, hand grasping my arm lightly a moment later. I spun around, tearing my eyes from the escape path a few feet away to meet her gaze.

"What?"

She let out a breath, eyes unbearably soft.

"Sofia had a rough night, and we needed to talk- there's nothing…"

"You don't need to explain yourself" I cut her off blankly, crossing my arms over my chest. "We're taking a step back from this, remember?"

Dark eyes remained trained on me for a long moment before she scoffed quietly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"I know you are having a tough time right now, but give me a little credit. I'm worried about Lindsay, and I don't want to be a third party in your relationship. I don't see what's so unfair about that"

"It's difficult to give you credit when your ex is half naked in your kitchen, cooking you breakfast"

She shoved a hand through dark locks, taking a handful into her fist as she bit back her frustration.

"She slept on the couch, and she's not making breakfast- she hasn't cooked a proper meal in her life…"

Meeting my gaze, she let her hair tumble from her grip with a tired sigh. "You know what? That's not the point. I thought we decided to take some time to sort out our stuff, and that's exactly what I'm trying to do"

I snorted, rolling my eyes as I turned to go.

"Well by all means, don't let me keep you"

Her hand immediately raised up to grab my wrist, rougher than before but still with an edge of tenderness. I spun back to look at her expectantly, crossing my arms protectively over my chest.

"Catherine, what do you want me to say?"

I narrowed my eyes, taking a step towards her.

"Do you really not get it? You two broke up a week ago, Sara"

I could see the tension in her- ready to defend herself against whatever I was going to say. I felt the weight of my exhaustion settling neatly in my chest, biting my tongue against the words that were on the tip of it- it didn't matter. Not now.

I exhaled deeply, shaking my head. "I have to go, just get that file to Ecklie and we'll talk later"

I could tell she wasn't ready to let this go, but I was heading down the steps before she had a chance to protest. There was only so much arguing I could handle in a day and I had yet to face Sam and get Lindsay settled at the Rampart. This was going to have to wait.

/

Steam billowed up from my large cup of chamomile tea, evaporating into the cool, dry air of the lab. Stirring the tea bag absently, I watched the clear water slowly fade into a pale yellow. For the moment, this cup of tea and a silent break room were the remedies to my ever growing list of problems.

Dropping down into a chair, I slid my glasses on, flipping open the files I had gathered over the past few hours.

There was no one at the Billings PD that had worked the Celia Larson case, so that was a dead end. I had managed to get Dan to send over a few more equally vague documents related to the case with the promise of an evening out the next time he was in town. Just another situation to skillfully sidestep when the time came.

The evidence list was barely enough to work with, though the lack of findings was in line with every scene we had worked. I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear, glancing over the list- rope fragments, undetermined substance on victims hands…

"You do know you have an office"

I glanced up at Grissom, shooting me a questioning look as he entered the room.

"Yeah, everyone else knows it too" I explained, flipping over the paper in my hands. The questioning look still lingering on his features, I met his gaze tiredly. "I'm hiding"

A smile skirted over his lips as he took a seat across from me.

"Have you talked to Sara?"

I frowned, eyes still skimming over the report. "About what?"

"Our meeting with Ecklie. I figured you'd want to be-"

"Wait, you were involved in that?" I cut him off with a raised hand, sitting back to give him my full attention.

"Yes" he replied after a moment.

"Why wasn't I there? This is my case"

He shrugged absently, glancing down at the forensic journal that had been left splayed open on the table.

"The latest focus of whoever we're dealing with is Lindsay, Catherine. It's a conflict of interest"

Unbelievable.

"So what, I'm off the case now? Was anyone going to bother talking to me about this?"

"We're talking about it now" He answered simply, leaning back in his chair. "And no one said you were off the case, you just need to take a backseat for a little while. You've been too involved with this guy"

"Sara assaulted him and she's still involved, has everyone forgotten about that?"

"I doubt it"

Eyes shooting up to the doorway, I met Sara's heavy gaze. She crossed her arms, brow furrowing as Warrick moved past her into the room.

Perfect, well done I chastised myself tiredly, mimicking her actions as I crossed my arms tightly over my chest.

"I just mean that we're all a little too involved with this case, I don't see why I should be shut out"

"You're not being shut out, Catherine. It was just a meeting"

Dark eyes held mine as she moved into the room. Warrick met her halfway to the coffee, pushing a steaming cup into her hands which she accepted gratefully. I felt an irrational pang of hurt as she chose a seat a few chairs away from mine, chastising myself at the absurdity. I simultaneously wanted her so close and so far.

"I would like to at least be notified as to what's going on, I am the supervisor here"

She rolled her eyes almost imperceptibly, the furrow never quite leaving her brow.

"I told you I had a meeting with Ecklie this morning, you gave me the police report to show him"

I scoffed, opening my mouth to speak but was cut off by Grissom holding his hand up tiredly.

"Brass is going to bring the brother in for some questioning, and Detective Curtis is making a trip up to Idaho to speak with Celia Larson's mother. That's what we've landed on for now"

"Idaho? She must have pissed someone off to get sent up there" Warrick mused, taking a seat between Sara and I casually, clearly unaware of the tension.

"Ortega doesn't exactly instill a desire to cooperate" Sara pointed out.

"And Sofia does?" I asked in amusement, taking a long sip of tea. I knew I was being petty, but I didn't care.

"Do you want to go down there and talk to her?" came her irritated response, shooting me an equally irritated look. I held up a hand in surrender, turning my attention to Gil.

"Billings PD sent over a few more files on the Larson case- not much to work with, but I've got an evidence list, a coroners report, and an appallingly short list of suspects questioned"

"How short?"

"Liam O'Riley, and Larson's father who died last January"

He sighed, "Well, short is better than nothing"

"You and Lindsay are keeping out of harms way?" Warrick asked

"Moved our lives into a room at the Rampart this morning. Don't even ask how many bags a 14 year old girl thinks fall under the category of 'necessary'"

Thankfully two eager bus boys had hauled our pile of things from the car up to the eighth floor, much to Lindsay's pleasure. She was enjoying this entire situation far more than was reasonable, thought I suppose I was grateful for that.

Warrick chuckled while Sara simply stared at me from across the table.

"I could have helped you guys" she replied softly.

I met chocolate eyes silently, the familiar butterflies still there beneath her gaze. The desire to have her beside me today was fierce, even despite our earlier argument. I was a self sufficient woman, I didn't need the help, but if I was being honest I was growing tired of facing every obstacle of life alone.

The eager concierge following me around under the guise of being helpful didn't count, ordering staff around in his charming English accent at every opportunity to make our transition easier. The young woman behind the desk whose attitude changed the moment I gave her my name- setting me up with a complimentary bottle of champagne and offering her services wherever needed. I could see straight through these kindnesses. I was tired of courtesy that came with an agenda- tired of men believing that helpfulness would inevitably be generously rewarded.

I craved someone who genuinely wanted to be beside me on days like this- someone who despised the entire process just as much as I did, but showed up anyway. I knew that was who Sara was- I had seen her dedication to the people she loved. Sometime, before all this chaos began, she had shown up for work half asleep, arms torn up from cardboard cuts, laughing about the many attempts to get Greg's couch up the stairs of his new 6th floor apartment.

The way she looked at me, I could feel that closeness at my fingertips. It absolutely terrified me, the depth of that desire. I cleared my throat lightly, stubbornly refusing to let my guards down.

"We managed"

After a moment her softness slipped back into irritation, eyes narrowing.

"Can I talk to you?"

I leaned back in my chair, pulling my glasses off and folding them gently into my lap.

"Sure"

Sighing, she glanced momentarily over at Grissom before meeting my gaze with that pleading, gentle request to let this go.

"Alone"

I sighed, opening my mouth to speak when she cut me off. "Let me guess, you're too busy. You do look absolutely swamped" she gestured to my mug of tea and the few papers in front of me.

"Try to keep things civilized, please" Grissom interjected tiredly as he stood, shooting us both a pointed look before heading out of the room.

Before I could properly respond, Sara followed suit, pushing up out of her chair hastily. "I'm going to check in with Wendy, see if she's gotten anything off those swabs" she told Warrick. I watched her go, eyes travelling over her form- loose jeans, that maroon shirt hugging her modest curves. Letting out a sigh, I leaned heavily back in my seat, closing my eyes for a long moment.

A warm hand grasped my shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"You and Sara at it again?"

I chucked humorlessly, cracking open my eyes to glance over at him.

"Shocking, I know"

"You two have seemed pretty tight lately, what's going on?"

Letting out a tired exhale, I shook my head lightly, not ready to delve into that with anyone yet.

"Close doesn't mean conflict free. We're working through some things. Also this case is just…" I trailed off with an exasperated huff, pushing both hands through my hair tiredly. This case was tearing everything apart.

"You're getting through it, Cath. You're doing great"

I leaned lightly into the arm he slipped around my shoulder, the brush of lips against my hair soft and fleeting. I was grateful for the comfort.

"I've got a double homicide at the trailer park and Greg is out sick, so I have the pleasure of working with our little ray of sunshine tonight" he squeezed my arm gently, green eyes meeting mine. "I have a feeling my night might go a bit smoother if you two can find the love again"

I offered a smile as he sat back, turning his focus to his buzzing phone. I glanced at my tea, barely lukewarm. So much for simple remedies.

/

"You look like you could use a drink"

I turned my attention towards Liev's voice, finding him leaning against the cement planters outside of the lab doors. The Yucca plants were beginning to regain their vibrancy, little yellow flowers I had a fondness for but no actual knowledge about already beginning to burst into bloom.

The evergreen sweater he wore suited him, rolled up at the sleeves to show off his naturally olive skin. He had grown his hair out just enough to look a little less conservative, dark eyes meeting mine softly. I pulled my navy jacket tightly around myself in an attempt to stave off the early morning chill, tossing tired waves over my shoulder.

"You're not wrong, but I'm settling for a walk and a very strong coffee" I told him, resuming my pace as he came to fall into step along side me.

"Mind if I join you? I just pulled a double and could really use some decent coffee and pleasant company"

I chuckled, glancing up at the earliest of commuter traffic passing by, the golden hue of morning painting the city in a softened light.

"I can't promise pleasant company, but there will be coffee"

He smiled, grasping my elbow lightly as a biker passed by on an early morning delivery with a single trill of his bell, the gesture painfully gentle.

"Still struggling with the serial case?"

I shrugged, pushing my hands into silk lined pockets. "We've been making some headway, but I'm not sure that it's actually getting us anywhere"

"And how are dad's finest accommodations treating you?"

I snorted, shaking my head lightly. "I know for a fact that he has finer, but free housekeeping and no cooking is something I could get used to"

He laughed, hand sliding to the small of my back as we crossed the street.

"Are you ever going to give me a tour?"

There it was. The perfect segue into the conversation that we needed to have. I could feel the tension in the back of my mind, urging me to just say the words. I glanced up at him, dark eyes soft as he offered me a gentle smile, and I knew it wouldn't be today.

I had no problem breaking things off with men, I had become rather skilled at it over the years. But something felt different with Liev. It wasn't attraction and clearly not love that was giving me pause- the way that it felt to have Sara on top of me, hands working their way over my skin; the way I felt beneath her warm gaze was enough to assure me without a doubt that it was her I wanted. But his steadfast dedication to me, the strong hand guiding me away from harm felt infinitely comforting.

"Maybe when things are a little less chaotic"

He smiled softly, hand coming down to grasp mine as we walked the rest of the way in silence.

Jane was behind the counter as usual, shooting me a quick smile of greeting as she moved hurriedly between morning tasks. I glanced up at the menu above the counter out of habit, debating whether a plain coffee was enough or if an espresso at this point in my endless day would kill me.

"Good morning detective"

My eyes shot down at Liev's cheerful words, greeted immediately by the ice blue gaze of Sofia, having turned from where she stood at the counter. I let my hand slip from Liev's grasp, trying to play it off by tucking loose hair behind my ear, though I knew it was too late.

"Liev, Catherine" she greeted, tearing her gaze from mine only when a large coffee was slid in front of her. She took it with a half smile of thanks, brushing past us.

"She was much better company a few months ago" he commented quietly, my stomach turning softly in disgust as I moved away from him.

"Can you order me a coffee? I'm just going to touch base with her"

I took a breath, bell jingling as I pushed out of the glass doors. She was leaning against her SUV expectantly, parked conveniently in front of the building. Blonde hair was illuminated by the first light of morning, everything about her appearing softer than usual. I noted a large bag in her passenger seat, probably about to leave for Weiser.

I walked towards her, the click of my heels filling the silence as I came to stand in front of her. She blew out a breath of smoke, a cigarette resting predictably between her fingers, coffee held tightly in the other hand.

"I'm trying to quit, but I'm finding it difficult with all of the bullshit going on around here" she raised the cigarette lightly in reference.

So that's how we were going to do this. I crossed my arms, shifting my weight to one hip. I wasn't going to let her make me feel in the wrong here.

"You know, what I'm doing with my life is really none of your business"

She smiled, an eyebrow quirking momentarily "You're right"

"And yet…" I motioned to her judgmental gaze with irritation

"Sara is my business" she elaborated calmly. "If you're not interested in giving up men, that is a surprise to no one. But don't you dare drag her down to satisfy some curiosity"

I scoffed, tightening my crossed arms, furious at her audacity.

"You love her"

It came out as an accusation, some harsh criticism of something beautiful. She didn't miss a beat in answering, "Of course I do"

She didn't bother elaborating on that statement, and as much as I wanted to demand a detailed explanation of what exactly she meant, I respected her straightforwardness.

"I've watched the tension between you two building for years, and I know that you feel something for her. But I won't watch you fuck with her emotions because you're insecure"

I opened my mouth, a whole host of volatile thoughts at the tip of my tongue, but something made me pause. Perhaps the worn down sight of her, standing up for a woman we both love, or the weight of the truth behind her words. I was insecure- that was something I could barely admit to myself. My entire image was built on confidence- on a steadfast belief in myself. I embodied it, I rarely faltered in it, and the whispers of doubt circling through my mind felt strange and destructive.

Liev was safe- familiar in the sense of being a simple man. He was the easy, obvious option for my life. He could be a father figure for Lindsay; I had no doubt about his dedication to me. What I felt for Sara was unexplored and frightening- I had thought it through a hundred times since this revelation and it seemed to be something we could really make work, but in reality we had little beyond years of disputes and a few passionate moments. Once the purging of all our built up tension had passed, would she still want me? Once the novelty of having me in her bed wore off, would she be able to love the creases of my skin, the age freckles beginning to litter my body, the few white strands of hair that I kept meticulously hidden?

I met her gaze- what I wouldn't give to be 34 again, full of effortless confidence and a cigarette in hand. I sighed, pressing my lips together as I let my arms fall to my side in some form of defeat.

"She is crazy about you, Catherine. I'm not abandoning our friendship because you don't know how to accept it, but I hope that you can trust that our relationship is nothing more than that. Because god, does she want you"

Bright eyes held mine, drifting over my form briefly before taking another long drag from her smoke. She was beautiful- I suppose that's what made their closeness so difficult to accept. Her ferocity was quieter, more controlled than mine, and I envied that. I envied her ability to read Sara, whose moods I could barely decipher on a good day.

Despite my distain for her, it was hard to ignore her collar bones jutting out beneath her thin shirt; the darkness beneath her eyes still lingering. There was an exhaustion that seemed to cling to her like a ghost these days with a sort of relentlessness that concerned even me.

I sighed, feeling a strange sort of tenderness towards her as she gave a soft nod of acknowledgement at the understanding in my eyes, stubbing out her cigarette against the lower bumper of her car.

"… are you doing okay?" I asked hesitantly as she pushed off the hood, sauntering around to the door. She chuckled, glancing up at me briefly.

"Let's not pretend you give a fuck about how I'm doing, Catherine"

Charming as always.

I rolled my eyes at her typical tactlessness, watching her slide into the vehicle before turning on my heel back towards the diner.

Liev met me before I made it back inside, a smile tugging at my lips as he passed me a warm coffee. I accepted it gratefully, about to take a much needed sip when his hand slid down to my waist, surprising me as he leaned in to press a soft kiss, full of intention against my lips.

He pulled back before I could react, the feel of light stubble scratching against my mouth lingering. I could read the desire behind his eyes; in the soft motion of his thumb against my waist.

"Come home with me?"

I searched dark eyes before sighing softly, giving an almost perceptible nod. A smile worked its way across his lips as he wrapped a large arm around my shoulder, beginning our walk back to our vehicles still parked at the lab.