"Happiness only exists in acceptance." - George Orwell
"What you deny or ignore, you delay. What you accept and face, you conquer." - Unknown
"You are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with. So be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down." - Bible
The next day, on Saturday, Allen got a call on his cell.
His date with Kanda the night before had been spectacular. A month's worth of stress and tension had been released in a really heartfelt moment between them and it was perfect. When he took Kanda home that night, he'd felt the almost irresistible urge to lean forward and kiss the man. There had been quite enough emotional vulnerability that night already.
Besides, there was just . . . something holding him back. A feeling that it just wasn't the right time. Truly feeling that he would know when it was time, Allen had pulled back and with a last comforting squeeze to the other man's hand, he left.
Now, Allen looked down at his phone in question. Who was calling him? Allen answered the phone and almost dropped it when Tewaku's voice sounded through the speakers. "Hey, Allen." Tewaku spoke, in greeting.
There was something off about her voice, Allen noticed. Instead of her usually upbeat and excitable voice, she sounded despondent and serious. The deviation from normal immediately had his back straightening.
"Hey, Tewaku. What's up?" He tried not to let the apprehension he was feeling leak into his voice.
"Well, I . . ." Tewaku started, sounding incredibly awkward and a little choked up. Allen's internal panic increased.
"For what?" Allen swallowed, apprehension choking him. What ensued was the most stressful phone conversation of his life.
Tewaku told him everything. She told him how she thought everything was okay in their group of friends, until a few weeks ago, when she got a call from Tokusa. Allen's hand gripped his phone harshly when Tewaku recalled Tokusa telling her that Allen was going to leave the group, in order to scare her, and Tokusa framing Allen's relationship with Kanda as the cause.
A sense of betrayal and self-loathing hit Allen when Tewaku told him that the reason she'd started having conversations with him in the lunchroom, just the two of them, was because she wanted to find out the weaknesses in their relationship and exploit them. Which, she admitted, didn't work out for her, as she had grossly underestimated their dedication to each other.
Allen felt betrayed because he trusted her and self-loathing for trusting her. The feeling of betrayal intensified when Tewaku admitted to spying on his text conversations and following him on his date in order to sabotage it.
By this point, Allen really felt that he should just hang up the phone and cut all ties with her, but a morbid sense of curiosity kept him on the line. How much farther would she go? Why was she admitting all this to him, anyway?
Luckily, she didn't seem to hear any of his and Kanda's conversation that night, so some of their privacy was protected. The pain in Allen's chest released with the shock of hearing Tewaku admit that the only reason she didn't get to "ruining" their date was because Link stepped in and stopped her.
The two shared their surprise at Link even being there and Allen noted the irony of Link spying on Tewaku spying on Allen and following him. Then, quiet to the point of whispering and hesitating more than ever before, Tewaku recounted her conversation with Link. The things he said, the things she said, the things she thought . . . she told him everything.
Allen felt his heart melt a little when she quietly told him about remembering when they first met and what she and Link ultimately decided. "Tokusa, Madarao, Kiredori and Goushi. They can't be the support network we need. The network you need. I want to be a better friend than I've been. We can do this together, if you're up for it." She stated hesitantly and finally stopped talking, now waiting for Allen to say something.
Allen stood silently, holding the phone to his ear, not knowing what to do. What she just described is something he'd always wanted, all the way back to when he was a kid. A real relationship with people. Years ago, he thought he would never have it and then he got it with Kanda and now he could get it with some of his friends.
But could he just forget about everything else Tewaku had told him? Could he just lose the feeling of betrayal? Forgive, forget?
Even as he thought this, as his heart sped up in excitement at the prospect of having the kind of friendship he'd so often seen on TV, Allen knew the answer. Yes, he could forgive and forget. He really could.
"Allen?" Tewaku's worried voice filtered through the speakers.
"That . . ." Allen cleared his throat, so that he didn't choke up. "That sounds great." Allen answered.
"Really?" Tewaku asked, sounding incredibly surprised by that. Allen could understand her shock, but he wasn't as surprised as she was that he forgave her indiscretions so quickly. He chose to not hold onto pain and hurt a long time ago. Besides, he knew a thing or two about making mistakes with people.
"Yeah, really. Friendships need work and it sounds like we're all willing to put in that work. We've been friends for a while, but now maybe we can get to know each other better."
"That sounds wonderful." Tewaku breathed out, relieved.
Not long after their talk, Allen hung up the phone, with the promise from Tewaku that she would tell Link about their conversation and the promise from Allen that he would wait for the two of them outside their school, come Monday. After hanging up, Allen pondered what to do next for a moment before deciding to call his boyfriend.
Allen's lips tugged into a small smile at the new moniker for Kanda. He had a lot to tell his boyfriend and talk about.
(Tokusa)
Sunday came and went before Tokusa knew it, it was Monday. He'd tried to call Tewaku several times for several reasons. He wanted to know what happened on Friday with Allen. He also wanted to know why she and Link hadn't showed up on Saturday to hang out with the group, like they'd planned.
Allen not showing up was almost expected at this point. However, Tewaku had never missed a group outing before and Link rarely missed one, as well. The fact that they both unexpectedly missed an outing at the same time and refused to answer any of their calls was overwhelmingly suspicious.
Tokusa honestly didn't know if Allen was to blame for whatever was going on, but for some reason, he really didn't feel like Allen was the cause of this, which left a couple of questions. What was going on with Tewaku? What was Tewaku trying to pull and how was Link involved in all of this? Now that it was Monday, he could finally corner the two of them and find out.
At the moment, there were too many things he didn't know and that put him on edge. Normally, the group all headed to their first class of the day individually and since they shared most of their classes, they met inside the classroom. The others joined Tokusa long before Tewaku, Allen, and Link did.
The three finally showed up just before the professor did.
Normally, Tewaku, Allen, and Link all arrived at different times, but they arrived together, this day, talking with each other and smiling with unusual closeness. For some strange reason, this both puzzled Tokusa and made him slightly more wary. Perhaps it was that any deviation from normal, no matter how small, was a major upset.
Tokusa tried not to let himself ruffle visibly."Allen, Link, Tewaku!" Tokusa greeted, faux cheerfully, not letting on how he was feeling inside.
"Tokusa." Link stated more than greeted. He and Allen had somewhat severe expressions on their faces, Tewaku being the only one to look anything other than indifferent towards his presence.
"You three are almost late, did you have a rough night last night? Come sit, before the professor comes." Tokusa waved to their usual cluster of seats right next to each other, right at the front of the class.
If Tokusa was going to get into politics, like his father, he needed flawless grades and, naturally, his friends had to be with him. Where better to sit than at the front of the class?
"We're going to sit in the back today." Allen stated simply, seeming to only just be tolerating conversing with Tokusa. How curious. Wait-What? In the back? Tokusa felt his eyes widen in surprise, unable to stop the outward reaction.
They'd all sat together since they started college, it'd been that way for years. You don't just o against the group like that, but it seemed by the look on all three of their faces that they were going to.
"Why not just sit with us, like usual?" Tokusa inquired, pasting a confused smile on his face. Since Allen had proven himself to be the most mutinous one of the bunch, Tokusa aimed the question more at Link and Tewaku and watched their features for giveaways.
Tewaku, Tokusa thought, was a surprise, as she always looked to him for guidance, but she was an emotional being and he could understand how Allen might've been successful in using his relationship to gain her sympathy and allegiance. However, Link was the real surprise.
Generally unemotional and studious, he always allowed the group to pull him from one place to another (when he wasn't doing classwork) and never did anything to set himself apart. How did Allen get him on his side and, moreover, why did he seem so firmly on Allen's side? The look on his face basically yelled that he would not be moved. Before then, only school had gotten that kind of dedication from Link.
"We just think it's about time we set out for ourselves and try something new." This time, surprisingly, it was Tewaku that spoke . . . and she had this new hint of steel in her voice that actually made Tokusa think twice before arguing with her. Also . . .
Tokusa cut a quick look around the classroom. By now, it was full of students and the professor, who just walked in. Some of their peers had started to take notice of their little spat. With a startling moment of clarity, Tokusa realized that if he contested this now, there would be no doubt that people would take notice and it would make its way around the school.
Tokusa knew he couldn't allow people to know there was dissention in his ranks, he could deal with their insubordination later. So, despite having to leave an important matter unattended, he smiled at the small group and acquiesced.
"Alright then. You can always move back up here if you change your minds." The implication that he wanted them to change their minds was something everyone in the group understood.
Allen, Link, and even Tewaku said nothing to it as they moved to the back left corner of the classroom, as far away from Tokusa and the rest of the gang as they could get. The action spoke more about the issue than words ever could.
For the rest of the class, the small group in the back of the room switched between dutifully paying attention to the class and quietly speaking amongst themselves in a more friendly manner than usual. It seemed more genuine than the way the group usually spoke to each other and they seemed correspondingly closer to one another.
Tokusa listened from the front, each word they spoke like a pin in his side.
