Revan stepped into Saul's office, and she said, "Why did you want to talk to me in private?"

"Because, Knight Revan, I want you to take your fellow Jedi and leave. And never return." he said.

"Why?"
"You are clearly unstable. What happened on the surface mere hours ago is a clear sign that you need to stay far away from this war."
"What happened on the surface was a singular incident." Revan replied.

"You turned a mandalorian into a red stain on the ground, then used powers forbidden by your order." Saul said. "You should be grateful that I'm not going to mention that to the Jedi Council."

"I suppose. But the matter remains that you will need Jedi aid eventually if you want to actually win this war, and I'm the best Jedi for the job."
"Because you'll lose control of your emotions and butcher the enemy?"

"Because I am the best fighter in the Order who is willing to stand and fight. There are other Jedi in the Order who have skills I do not, but in the end, when all is said and done, I will be the one who's still fighting this war. Even if the Republic falls to the mandalorians."

"If the Republic falls to them, there will be no war."
"Every time there is a massive shift in power there are those who resist it. Those who draw like-minded individuals to their cause. If the Republic falls, there will be many who do not accept being ruled by savages."

"I understand that you would not accept mandalorian rule, but what about the rest of your Order?"
"If they submit to the mandalorians and try to get in my way, I will remove them from the equation."
"You would kill your fellow Jedi?"
"I didn't say I would kill them. I said I would remove them from the equation."

"How would you remove them from the equation without killing them?"
"I would take disarm them, not literally, and take them prisoner. Put them in cages that weaken their command of the Force to the point that they cannot use it to escape."
"Does such technology exist?" Saul asked.

"The Republic developed it alongside the Jedi Order during the war with Exar Kun. They planned to take him prisoner and interrogate him as to what had caused his fall. But, circumstance made that impossible."

"You think you could recreate this technology?"
"I know I can." Revan said, "But, that is beside the point, Admiral Karath. I get why you don't trust me. I have acted far to recklessly in my involvement so far. I have given you reason to doubt that I treat this as a war to protect countless lives instead of my attempt to settle the score with the mandalorians over what has happened. You believe you cannot trust me due to my actions.

"But in the end I may be your best chance at winning this fight. Just because someone is in unstable doesn't mean that they cannot win a war."
"But can you win the war with acceptable casualties? Or will you throw away the lives of those under you?"
"We both know that in war sacrifices must be made. And that a commanding officer must carry the weight of knowing the names of each and every one of their men who died under their command. A leader cares for their troops, and does everything in their power to protect them. But, sometimes sacrifices have to be made in order to save the largest number of lives."
Saul nodded, and said, "True. But I still doubt you. Your actions on the surface show that you are willing to go beyond what is necessary to eliminate a threat. That you are willing to bring yourself down to a savage level to send a message to the enemy. What did that mandalorian even say to you, Jedi?"
Revan was silent for a moment then said, "You'll have to promise that you will not speak a word of this to the Jedi Council. This has to be strictly off the record."
"Understood." Saul replied.

"He threatened Bastila. She and I share a psychic bond. Any harm that befalls her I experience as well. Sometimes the pain is multiplied by a large margin. And I care for her. If harm were to befall Bastila I would never be able to forgive myself. He hurt her, and I did what seemed like the most logical course of action at the time.

"What I did to him wasn't personal. But it wasn't well reasoned either. The only thoughts running through my head were that he had tried to hurt Bastila and he had to pay. And that maybe if I made an example of him it would send a message to the enemy that if they tried to lay a finger on Bastila that I would kill them. I was trying to frighten the mandalorians to the point that Bastila would be safe."
"You think it failed?"
"Mandalore himself has sent a capture order for her."
"Why?"
"From what I've been able to gather, the rogue Jedi Richard Johnson told Mandalore that I have romantic interest in Bastila. And, after the Battle Above Cathar, he sees me as a threat."

"Why do you say that he sees you as a threat?"
"Because," Revan said, "the mandalorian who tried to capture Bastila on the surface said that if he defeated me he would have the honor of having defeated the Republic's greatest warrior. From what I know of the mandalorians, only Mandalore can declare someone the greatest warrior of an opposing force."
"How do you know so much about the mandalorians?"
"There isn't a file on the mandalorians in the possession of the Jedi Order that I have not read."
Saul said, "I see. But, can you really justify what you did to that mandalorian?"
"No, it was a mistake. I should not have lost control and butchered him. A quick execution would have been sufficient. No matter what I try to say to justify that will not. It was excessive and I shouldn't have done it."

"Indeed. You should go to your fellow Jedi and inform them that you will be leaving tomorrow morning."
"Very well sir. Until either the Council agrees to help the Republic or it becomes necessary for Jedi to defy the Council." Revan said, walking out of the room. As she walked down the corridor, she thought, 'That went better than I anticipated. But, we're still having to leave early. That's not good. We could have helped with the assault force to take out that mandalorian base on the surface. But I lost my shit. Maybe I need to weaken this bond with Bastila, so I'm not horrified at the thought of anything bad happening to her. No, you know that won't make a difference, Revan.' she countered, 'If you weaken the bond you'll just worry about her even more. That something could happen that you don't notice because of the bond being weak.'

Revan shook her head, and said, "Great, arguing with myself. Totally doesn't make me seem crazy."
"What are you arguing with yourself about?" Meetra asked as she appeared from what seemed like nowhere.

Revan jumped a bit, and said, "Force, Meetra. Don't sneak up on me like that."
"Oh relax, Rev." The Knight said, "What's bugging you?"
"The knowledge that I screwed up."

"You talking about what you did to that mandalorian on the ground?"
"Yeah. Because of that we're all being sent back early."
"I bet that'll make Bastila happy."

"Probably."

"You don't sound very certain."
"I just hate knowing that I made a mistake that has made the Republic think that my involvement is a negative."
"You couldn't have thought they'd be okay with what you did."

"I had hoped the consequences wouldn't be this severe, even though I knew they would."

"So things went how you knew they would. So, cheer up, it's not like we'd have been here much longer anyways."

"It's just a bit... disappointing." Revan replied. "Kreia's going to be ashamed of me."
"Think of it this way, Rev," Meetra said, "now you'll be able to spend more peaceful time with Bastila."
Revan smiled, and said, "Assuming she'll even talk to me."
"She seemed pretty fine with you after what happened on the ground. Maybe a bit disappointed, but not exactly stay the fuck away from me you monster."
"I'm more worried that she'll be angry that I asked her to leave."
"Well that was kinda rude."
"I'm just trying to protect her from those mandalorian animals. If they capture her..."

"It won't happen, Rev. You have her back."
"What if we were all staying and I got unlucky enough for one of them to get the edge?"
"Bastila can handle herself pretty well."

"It doesn't change the fact that I worry."
"I know. But you worry too much. You and Bastila are two pretty damn good Jedi. It's not like you've even really taken a hit fighting the mandalorians."
"I know." Revan sighed. "Can we change the subject?"
"Not until you quit being so paranoid."
"What would you do if you knew the mandalorians want to capture someone you love?"
"I'd be worried." Meetra replied. "But not this worried."
Revan sighed, and said, "You're a lot more easy going than I am then."
"You say that like it's hard to be more easy going than you." Meetra replied, a smirk on her face.

"I guess you have a point." Revan replied, as the two continued to walk through the ship. "You go tell Baldy that we're leaving tomorrow morning. I'll tell Bas."
"Have fun." Meetra said, with a smirk.

"That's illegal..." Revan said, shaking her head.

"Someone's head is in the gutter." Meetra replied, laughing.

"Yeah, yours."
"I didn't say anything that would indicate that I was telling you to sleep with Bastila."
"I know you, the only kind of fun you like is sleeping with people."Revan replied, laughing, as she walked away from Meetra.

"Well played, Rev." Meetra replied, before the younger Knight rounded a corner.

Revan walked silently to Bastila's quarters. She then knocked on the door, and said, "Bas, is it okay if I come in?"
"Yeah." Bastila replied.

Revan stepped into the room, and saw Bastila sitting beside a pair of bags. The Padawan said, "I have my stuff ready to leave on the first shuttle that's available. But, are you really going to send me home before everyone else?"
"No." Revan said, smiling softly at the younger woman.

"Really?"
"Yeah. We're all going back early."
"Why?" Bastila asked, concern clear in her voice, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. But after what happened on the surface Admiral Karath does not trust me."

"Then he's a bloody fool. It's not like you'd turn against the Republic."

"I think he knows that. He doesn't trust me to help the Republic win without excessive losses."

"You do everything you can to keep as many people safe as is possible."

"I know. But, my actions combined with my history with the mandalorians make it look like I'm just out for revenge."

"You may hate the mandalorians, but you wouldn't go after them just for revenge. To you making the ones who ruined your life would just be a bonus."
Revan laughed, "Maybe. Sometimes I don't think those bastards ruined my life. I still hate them for what they did, but... I have a hard time imagining living my life as anything other than a Jedi. And I think that I wouldn't be as happy if I hadn't met you and Meetra."
"I'm glad you count me in the group of people who make you happier." Bastila said. "Especially with how grouchy you were about the bond at first."

"Yeah, I was a bit of an idiot back then."
"I was more thinking that you were terrified of having any intimate connection with someone after what happened to Deralia."
"Maybe." Revan said, with a small smile on her face. "I should probably go pack."
"You want some help?"
"You don't have to." Revan said. "But I wouldn't mind some company while I pack."
Bastila nodded, and said, "That sounds good." as she followed Revan.

As the Knight gathered up her clothes- which were mainly still packed, as Revan liked being able to move quickly- the Knight said, "So, have you put any thought into my offer of training you when we get back to Dantooine?"
"If the Council approves, I couldn't think of anyone who I'd rather have as my teacher." Bastila said.
"Thanks." Revan said, smiling, "Just a warning, the training will be tough."
"I'd be disappointed if it was easy." Bastila said. "You don't get better by going down the easy route."
"True." Revan said, silence filling the room as she finished packing. "If we're lucky, the Council won't ask too many questions. They'll obviously ask about what happened to Anseron and Johnson, but hopefully beyond that their inquiries will be kept to a minimum."
"Why do you want their inquiries to be kept to a minimum?"
"Because I made several key mistakes that I would rather the Council didn't hear about." Revan said.
"I see." Bastila said, resting her head on Revan's shoulder.

"You know," Revan said, laughing a bit, "if you keep resting your head on my shoulder it'll make me think that Meetra has it backwards."
"What, that I'm interested in you?" Bastila asked.

"Yup." Revan replied. "Might make some people think you're acting like a love-sick kath hound."
"Must you be so irritating?" Bastila asked.
"Sorry." Revan said, patting Bastila on the head.

"Speaking of kath hounds, do you have anyone taking care of Urz?"
"Yeah. I made sure that young Padawan Belaya is watching him."
"Why her?" Bastila asked, a faint twinge of irritation clear in her voice.

"What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry, but she's been making moony eyes at you for weeks." Bastila said, "Haven't you noticed?"
"Aww, isn't that sweet. You're so cute when you're jealous." Revan said.

"What? I-I am not jealous, Revan!" Bastila replied, "It's just that if you were to do anything with her I would probably end up feeling it through the bond. And I would rather not."

"Don't worry, Bas. Even if I had the remotest interest in Belaya she's younger than you. So it would be years in the future. Also, how the Force didn't I notice that?"
"You can be oblivious sometimes." Bastila replied.

"Apparently." Revan said. "If you're right, and not jumping at shadows like Meetra, I'll have to straighten the kid out."

When there was an awkward silence for a moment, Revan said, "Not literally. Geez, you'd think from how I hang out with Meetra that you'd realize I don't care what you want to sleep with so long as it's legal."

"I know. I just didn't really know how to respond." Bastila replied.

Revan nodded, and said, "So, we're leaving in the morning."
"Yeah." Bastila said, "How do you feel about it?"
"I feel... a little guilty to be honest. I feel like this is my fault, and that if I'd just followed orders we'd be able to do more to help. But instead I wanted to be more involved. Wanted to feel like I was actually doing something instead of just standing around doing nothing."
"At least we're alive. Unlike Anseron."

"Yeah. And that piece of shit Johnson." Revan said. "But, let's focus less on the horrible stuff that happened."
"There wasn't a lot of good that came out of this trip."

"Yeah." Revan said. "It's gonna be a long trip back to Coruscant. And an equally long one back to Dantooine. We should probably get some rest in the few hours before the trip."
"Yeah." Bastila said as she stood up, "Sleep well, Rev."
"You too, Bas." Revan said.

"I will." The Padawan with a smile as she left the room.

Revan sighed, and said, "How the Force am I going to last another ten months?" before laying down on her bed.

-=0=-

Vrook stared out onto the plains of Dantooine from a balcony on the edge of the Enclave. He stood there in silence as Vandar walked closer. The ancient Jedi said, "They will be returning soon."
"Good. This mission of theirs has been a fiasco. Revan taking command of a Republic fleet in the middle of a battle, eliminating an entire mandalorian base, killing dozens of members of the Exchange in cold blood. She has been acting less and less like a Jedi the longer she has been away in this war."

"It was not unexpected, Master Vrook."

"But it is unacceptable. She is a Jedi Knight."
"She is still a person with weaknesses. Did you truly expect her to not have an emotional reaction when faced with a group who killed her family and sold her into slavery?"
"You would still oppose Revan having to face consequences for her actions?"
Vandar closed his eyes for a moment and let the setting sun cover his tiny body in warmth for a moment, then said, "Any punishment we could place on Revan would not be worse than the knowledge that she has made a mistake in her efforts to help the Republic defeat the mandalorians. That is one reason we sent her, to buy time. Now she will have to prove herself to the Order that if she does defy the Council it is not merely about revenge for what happened in her past.

"So, while her actions may have been unacceptable, they have offered us the one thing we need, time. With time we will be able to convince Revan that a path of caution is wisest."
"Are you sure? She is far too headstrong for her own good."

"She is young, and already one of the strongest Jedi in the Order. Her headstrong nature will fade as the years go on."
"Can we afford to have her wield so much power and still be so arrogant?"
"There is nothing we can do to change Revan that would not turn her against us. The best course of action now would be to make so that she has something that she sees as more important than the mandalorian war."
"The only thing that I could see her seeing as more important than the war would be if she fell in love with someone."
"Perhaps not. Training a student can change someone. Bring them peace that they did not have before."

"Revan would not take a student. She is a warrior not a teacher." Vrook replied.

"We have only given her a chance to show her warrior side. I believe that Revan will be a skilled teacher if she is given a chance."

"Do you believe that she will have the patience to train another? The way of the Jedi is difficult to teach to a student. And Revan has made it clear that she does not possess patience."
"Peace, Vrook." Vandar said, shaking his head, "You are irritated by Revan's defiance of the Council's wishes despite the fact that we all knew sending her out would cause it. To expect her to rise above the pain of the most defining moment in her life is unreasonable."
"A Jedi must put aside their past entirely."
"Was it so easy for you to completely abandon what had made you who you were before the Order?"

"I abandoned that life as is proper for a Jedi to do so."
"And Revan has abandoned a life outside the Order. But some scars run too deep for someone to ever be truly rid of them."
"You would defend her actions?"
"They were actions that we knew she would take." Vandar said. "Her past may not define her entirely, but it has shaped her. With the trauma she suffered, it is not surprising."
"Very well, Master Vandar." Vrook said, " I will trust you on this matter. But who will Revan train?"
"That I do not yet know." Vandar said.

-=0=-

A few hours later, as the group boarded the shuttle back to Coruscant, Meetra said to Selena, "Bye. It was a real pleasure to work with you."

"If you're ever anywhere near where I'm deployed and you want to pay a visit, feel free." Selena said, hugging the Jedi.

"Will do. But that'll probably be a ways out. Who knows how long Revan's going to wait before telling the Council to go fuck themselves for being a bunch of over-cautious old farts."

"Grouchy much, Meetra?"

"I couldn't sleep last night." The Jedi said. "No one likes me when I'm tired."
"You could have paid me a visit." Selena said with a small, sad smile.

"I didn't want to disrupt your sleep schedule just because I couldn't get comfortable." Meetra replied. "Hopefully I'll be able to get some sleep in the shuttle."
"Yeah. And hopefully I won't die a horrible death fighting the mandalorians."
"That would suck."
"Yeah. Shame Karath's sending you guys back to Coruscant before the mission to take out that mandalorian base. Your skills and abilities would be really helpful."
"Yeah, but your bosses are paranoid that our bosses would get pissy if that happened and Rev liquidized some other enemies."
"Don't think you can stick around and help out?"
"Nah, it'd undermine whatever Revan has planned. Can't really afford to do that. She may be a bitch at times, but she's also a better tactician than I'll ever be. It wouldn't help if I did."
"Alright. Well have fun out there, hopefully the Council lets you join in soon." Selena said.
"Hopefully." Meetra agreed, "But I doubt it. They'll be even more paranoid about letting Jedi enter the war now. Rev may have meant well with what she did, but the Council's so damn paranoid they won't look beyond the actions. They won't consider the motivations."
"What's going to happen to Revan?"
"She could talk a politician into confessing infidelity while she's out cold. So, she may have to do a few weeks penance. Beyond that, nothing."

"Why does the Council let her get away with so much?"
"Because, they know that Revan is the first to admit when she's made a mistake. And that she'll work towards making it never happen again even if they don't take action. Hell there have been times when the Council didn't see any issue with her actions but she did, so she punished herself for it."
"Wow." Selena said. "What was it?"
"Oh it was some boring semantics." Meetra replied.

"Really?"
"Yeah." Meetra said, "But I should get on the shuttle before Revan thinks I've decided to run away with you. She might try to hunt me down. Something about making it look like her best friend has gone rogue hurting her chances of talking the Council into letting her have pancake for breakfast."
"You're messing with me."
"You're right. Revan hates anything that takes longer than fifteen minutes to prepare and eat. She's so paranoid that if she takes time to enjoy anything it'll end with her getting ambushed and sold into slavery."
"Well with what happened on Deralia, can you blame her?" Selena asked.

"No, but I can still find it funny." Meetra replied, as she walked towards the ship, "See you in a few months if things go how I think they will."
"How's that?"
"Revan deals with the Council's BS excuses for staying out of the war until Bastila's legal. Then she and Bastila get together and Revan tells the Council to go fuck themselves and gets a bunch of Jedi to join her in defiance of the Council. In the end we'll outnumber the Council and they'll be forced to accept our mission. Assuming everything goes according to what I think is Revan's plan."

"Hopefully it does. That'd be kinda cool. Knowing that you were part of a group large enough to sway the Jedi Council."
"More like force their hands." Meetra replied, as she entered the shuttle, and the boarding ramp retracted.

-=0=-

Belaya sat on a small bench beside another Padawan, and asked, "So, did you hear what happened out on the Outer Rim?"
"I don't pay attention to the news." he replied, "I prefer to just live my own life, and let the galaxy take care of its own problems."
"How can you be so apathetic in a time of war?"
"It's not like I could help. The Council has made it clear that no Jedi is to be involved with the war. So why even pay attention to it?"
"Because if you don't you won't know what's going on. And you won't know when the Council says that we need to go to war."

"I'd rather not go to war at all. I barely even use my lightsaber outside of mandatory training."
"Why?"
"Because, that is really dangerous. I mean those things can burn through durasteel like it's plastic. If you make one wrong move you are going to kill yourself. But what were you going to bring up?"
"Apparently during the Battle Above Cathar that took place a few weeks ago a Jedi took command of the Republic fleet because the Admiral running the show was a completely incompetent dumbass."
"Are you going to go back to fangirling over Revan again?" the male Padawan asked.

"I do not fangirl over her!" Belaya replied, irritation clear in her voice, "But don't you think that it's amazing that she decided to put the safety of the Republic soldiers above doing what the Council said?"
"What it sounds like to me is that Admiral should lose his command have someone who knows what they are doing."

"That would probably be good but never happen." Belaya said, "You know how the Republic is. They don't have the guts to fire or demote anyone in their military."

"I wouldn't know." He replied, clearly bored by the conversation.

"You really have no attention span." Belaya said.

"For stuff like this." he replied, "It's just depressing knowing the galaxy's run by a bunch of idiots who don't know what they're doing. So, I try not to think about it."

"Geez, pessimistic much? You could try to fix it instead of just burying your head in the sand."
"The last time a Jedi tried getting into politics the Republic nearly tore itself apart. I don't think anyone wants that happening again."
"I guess. But you could still try to help fix the problems."
"If it would make any difference I would. But the Council would rather bury their heads in the sand about the Republic's military issues and just assume that they'll win the war without any outside aid. The mandalorians are a strict military force that won't have any issue dealing with horribly led fleets like those of the Republic."
"Wow, pessimistic much?" Belaya asked.

"Yeah." he replied. "And hungry. You want to grab a bite to eat?"
"Sure." Belaya replied.

-=0=-

Revan stared out at the stars. Her mind wandering back to Deralia. She stared out, her father's words echoing in her head, "I know that it may sound unlikely to you now, Revan, but one day you will achieve greatness. You may think that you're just a child, that you have no potential beyond being a farmer like the rest of the colonists, but you have something few others do."

She remembered how her younger self had asked, "What are you talking about dad?"

"It is... difficult to explain. Just know that even though you have not realized it, you have a power greater than any other."
"Are you saying I can use the Force?"
"No. Even at your young age I can see that you have a unique fire. Something that will draw people to you when you get older. Follow you into the depths of the void itself if you call them to."

"Why would I do that?"
"Sometimes you have to do things you would rather not. Someday you may have to make a choice, Revan. Between the ones you care for most, and your duty."
"Why?"
"There are many fools out there, Revan. Fools who follow a code of absolutes. They can forbid what is greatest in life for fear that it will lead to corruption. Even though the odds are greater that it will prevent corruption, or save one from it."
"Are you talking about the Jedi?"
"Who else would I be talking about?"
"I don't know. But you sound really upset dad. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, Revan. It is just sometimes memories of things that were done to some people I used to know simply because they fell in love upset me."

"What did the Jedi do?"
"They denied them a chance to experience true joy because of their paranoia. Revan, no matter what happens to you, do not let others deny you happiness because they fear it will make you a worse person. If you do try to deny yourself, it will only lead to misery, anger, and eventually you will either decide that it would be better to embrace the joy, or you will become an unfeeling monster. One who cares not for those around her because to care for them is to get attached. And fear of attachment will drive that out of you.

"You will feel no compassion, no empathy. You will only see your duty. If that duty is to protect people you will not do so in the best way. You will only be concerned with efficiency. So, don't listen to anyone who tells you that attachment will simply create a chink in your armor, make you vulnerable. Because while there is danger in being close to anyone, having someone you can trust, someone you can love, is worth all that danger and more."
"Why are you talking about this dad?"

"It may just be me reading too much into things, but I just have this horrible feeling that I won't be around to help you much longer, Revan. So, if I am right, I want you to be as prepared as possible to face the galaxy."
"Dad, you're scaring me."

He had placed an arm around her shoulder when she'd said that and said, "I know it's frightening sweetie. But don't let the fear control you. You've got to be brave, even in the face of dangers so great that the greatest warriors in the galaxy would flee from."
"If they're so scary, why wouldn't I run away?"
"You'll understand if you ever have to."

"What you thinking about, Rev?" Meetra asked, breaking the Knight out of her reverie.

"Just thinking about how my life would be different if Deralia hadn't been raided."
"Well, you wouldn't be a Jedi, we'd have never met, the mandalorians would be off doing who knows what, and I'm pretty sure Quatra would have pushed Bastila to suicide." Meetra replied, "Even though what happened to you was major bullshit, I think it may be better this way."
"Always direct to the point." Revan said, laughing, "So, you have something on your mind, Meetra?"
"What's your plan?"
"What plan?"
"For getting into the war."
"I don't have one."

"Really, no plan? You always have a plan!"
"Nope. I'm just really good at quickly improvising plans."

"I just lost so much confidence in you." Meetra said, a smirk on her face.

"Yeah right. We're still alive, casualties have been kept to a minimum, and we're on our way back to Coruscant. Why would you lose faith in me just because my plans aren't all pre-baked?"
"Mmm, baked goods." Meetra said, "You want to go get some muffins?"
"Sure." Revan said as she shook her head, "But I swear sometimes you have the shortest attention span of any living entity in the galaxy."
"Only when I'm bored by the conversation."

"You're easily bored then."

"Never denied that." Meetra said, as the two walked down the hallway.

-=0=-

A/N: Thanks for reading the latest chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. It was pretty fun to write. Please leave a review/follow/favorite.