"You look pretty. Where are you going?" Joe wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin atop of my shoulder. The tips of his fingers glide across my hips and his lips fall on my neck, just below my earlobe. I look up from my makeup bag into the mirror. His arms are so tight around me that his veins are prominent underneath his skin. I love when he holds me like this. Truth be told, I'd much rather be in bed with him, asleep already. It's only 8:30 at night, but the two of us have already had a long day. Between going to look at the house today and running around with the girls after we got back in town, I'm exhausted and burned out for the day. I really don't feel like leaving back out, honestly.
"Out with Selena for an hour or so. We're just going to get coffee and talk about something." I use my biggest makeup brush and apply some concealer on my face. Joe takes his index finger and wipes it across my forehead. He always wipes my makeup off. He claims that I don't need it. A smile slides across my face when he does that. "Do you mind? I'm trying to get ready."
"I just don't want you covering up your beautiful face. When you put on concealer, I can't see the freckles on your nose. Those are my favorite parts of you. I love those freckles. All thirteen of them." He lets my waist go and kisses me on the cheek. "Do you have to leave out with Selena? We have to be up early tomorrow morning… let's just lie down together…"
"I already told her I'd meet her at the coffee shop. It's only for an hour, babe. I'll be right back before you know it." I zip my makeup bag back up and put it inside my medicine cabinet. I fix my dark purple hoodie and adjust my shorts. "I'll be back, okay? It's only for an hour. If you get hungry, I put the leftover spaghetti in the fridge. Heat it up in the microwave. Leave my door unlocked so I can get back in, alright?" I give him a kiss on his lips. "I love you."
"Mmmm." He groans through our passionate kiss. "I love you too. Hurry back, okay?" He drags his hand through a clump of my hair, straight down through a curl. "I like your hair curly. It looks pretty."
"Thank you." I pull myself out of his grasp and walk back into my bedroom. I stuff my feet into a pair of flip flops and head towards the door. I hope this doesn't take longer than an hour. I'm not feeling very well tonight. My stomach is crazy in knots, making me nauseous and a little bit dizzy. It's definitely my nerves, because what I'm about to go do is making me sweat. I'm beginning to regret agreeing to meet her at the coffee shop. I choke down a little bit of bile in my throat and grab my debit card off my kitchen counter. "I'll see you later babe, okay?"
"Alright. I'll be waiting up for you. Don't be out too late; you still have classes tomorrow. And by the looks of your math grade, you don't need to be missing classes either."
I let out a giggle. "Alright, Mr. Jonas. Bye." I turn the knob to my door and let myself out, shutting it behind me. I'm glad that she chose to meet up at Luigi's, because the buses don't run this late at night. Luigi's is really the only formal coffee shop within walking distance from my dorm. I stuff my hands in my pockets and walk down the steps, onto the main road of the campus. I do feel bad about lying to Joe, but if I didn't tell a little lie, he'd never let me go in the first place. I just hope this goes the way I think it will, because if it goes horribly, then I'll have no choice but to tell him what I was actually doing at the coffee shop.
Then again, maybe I won't have the misfortune of telling him. Maybe—just maybe she'll tell him for me. And when he asks me about it, then I won't lie to him. Or maybe she'll be like me, and think it's better off if he doesn't know. I don't know right now. I'm just a little confused as to what's about to happen. I'm assuming that she's not gonna reach across the table and choke me. My thumb grazes over the small can of pepper-spray hooked onto my keychain inside my pocket. If she tries to kill me, then I've got this as my line of defense.
I look right, then left. There aren't any cars coming, so I cross the street onto the side that the café will be on. It's a warm night out tonight, but I'm a little bit foolish for wearing flip flops. My feet are beginning to hurt and I haven't even walked an entire block yet. I walk down past a pet supply shop, past a bar, past an Apple store and past the Ben & Jerry's store. I make a sharp left and walk onto the main plaza that the café is on. You know, if Joe paid a speck of attention to the things I say, he'd know that there is no possible way I'm meeting Selena here tonight. I made it a point to mention to him that Selena was riding with David's parents to take him back to college. I guess he didn't make the connection that Selena won't be back until way later.
I pull my phone from my pocket and check the time. 8:45. She asked me to meet her at quarter til nine, so I'm right on time. I take a deep breath and pull the heavy glass door to Luigi's open. I put my phone back in my hoodie pocket and look around. There aren't many people in the café at this time, but I didn't imagine that there would be. Some guy with a Macbook computer is sitting beside the window. Another girl with a Kindle is sitting behind him. I squint my eyes looking around for her. I should have put my contacts in. My eyes aren't that bad, but I'd hate for me not to see her because of them. I think that's her.
Cautiously, I approach the two-seat table she's sitting at. She doesn't have a cup of coffee or a plate of donuts in front of her or anything yet. She's just looking, skimming through a menu. Her bone-straight light brown hair is pulled back into a high ponytail. Her ponytail is so long that it still touches the middle of her back, though. Her tall, slender legs are crossed underneath the table. She's wearing a pair of blue jeans and a dark orange long sleeved t-shirt. Her feet are inside a pair of really cute, black wedges. When I get closer to her, I can see that she's not looking into the menu at all, she's actually scrolling through Facebook on one of those Galaxy Note phones. She looks so prim and proper.
I wipe my sweaty palms on the seat of my jeans and clear my throat softly so that my voice isn't hoarse or raspy. "…B….Blanda?" I call her name, unsure of what I should actually call her. I feel like if I called her "Mrs. Jonas", I'd be asking her to slap me in the face. I really hope I look half as good as she does. She's just in loungewear, but she still looks so elegant and ladylike. I could only wish that I could pull off the look she has.
She looks up from her phone quickly and flashes me her gorgeous, model-esque teeth. "Hi, Demi… sit… sit down, have a seat." She motions to the chair across from her. I sit down and cross my legs to seem like I'm a mature adult. I fold my hands and place them atop of my menu. "I didn't realize that you had to walk down from your campus. I thought for sure that the buses were still running at this hour. I would've imposed this a little earlier, had I known. I'm sorry about that." My god, even the way she talks is so proper. How could Joe leave her for ME? Sloppy, unladylike ME. I burp without saying excuse me, swear like a sailor and shit with the bathroom door open. I could never compete with her.
"No, no. It's okay, you don't need to apologize. It's only a ten minute walk." I glance at her neatly, professionally polished fingernails. The color red really looks good against her skin. "So uh… y…you wanted to m…meet with me?" I silently berate myself for stuttering. It's bad enough that I'm nervous without actually projecting the fact to her. I didn't need her to know that I'm sweating like a pig underneath my hoodie and my feet are trembling underneath the table.
"Yeah, I just wanted to clear the air between us, you know?" Maybe it's just because she's pregnant, but I swear she's glowing. Like an angel is shining down on her and the gods above are praising this saint. "I just wanted to let you know that there aren't any hard feelings here, alright?" She crinkles her nose while she turns her face up into a smile. "Joe told me the reason you didn't get out the car earlier was because you thought I hated you."
"Well… yeah." I lick my lips and take a silent deep breath, calming myself down. "I also didn't think that it was… my place, you know? Like… whatever happens between you two is between you two and it's not really… my business. I'm just… I'm just the… sidechick. I didn't really want to cause any fights or arguments."
"No, sweetie, I totally understand. But you could've gotten out of the car." She sweeps away a strand of hair that isn't even there. "I'm not angry with you for anything that's happened between Joe and me. Everything that went down between us was our fault. We didn't have the best relationship in the first place. You didn't cause any problems we had. Joe caused all the problems, and I caused all the problems. And I understand that you were totally blindsided by everything."
"Um… not totally. I could've…. I don't know. I could have just… told him no or something."
"I wouldn't expect you to. I can't get mad at you because my husband cheated on me. It was inevitable, Demi. And to be honest, I'm not even totally placing the blame on Joe. The divorce is mutual, you know that, don't you?" I just nod. "And I realize that once we're divorced from each other, I can't stop him from dating other women, just like he can't stop me from dating other men. So the best I can do is get to know you and make sure that my children will be around someone decent. Especially with a brand new baby on the way. I don't want the new baby to be around a careless—"
"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. Really, you don't." I hold my hands out, signaling for her to stop. "I would never intrude on you and your children's relationships. I don't even want… I mean, I would never ask… I just… I don't know." I just shut up and look at the table.
"Demi, STOP. Honey, it's alright. It's a fact of life now. Joe already informed me of his plans to move you into his new house. He showed me pictures of the house he accepted today, and I already agreed that the girls can stay with him every weekend. If you live there with him, then obviously my children will be around you. You don't have to apologize for that. I know you might not believe me, but this is all for the best. Joe's happier with you, I'm happier without him. I've even scheduled a date with one of my coworkers this weekend. Demi, I want you and Joe to be happy together, that's all. I didn't ask you to meet me here so you could apologize and explain yourself. I asked you to meet me here so you could understand that I'm not angry or bitter. I want you to know that it's okay to get out of the car and say hi to me. Okay?"
"…Really?" I bawl my hands up into fists, desperately trying to get them to stop shaking out of nervousness. "So like… would it be alright if I just… asked you every once in a while to take the girls places? I really like the girls, as if they're my little sisters or something. Joe told me that I could take them to the movies to see Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 2 with my little sister this weekend, but I just… I wanted to ask first…"
"That's alright with me, as long as you have them back to me my 10:00. Joe still needs some time to get furniture in his house and stuff, so I don't want the girls to start spending the nights with him this weekend. I want them home this weekend."
"That's totally okay."
"Yeah, they tell me that they really like you. Tori's always telling me how you sing to her at night and she really likes that. That's important to me, you know? I want Joe to date someone my girls like." She taps her fingers slowly against the table. "So if you don't mind me asking, how serious do you think you and Joe are? Should I start teaching the girls about the concept of a stepmother?"
"No… no. Not that serious." I shake my head. "I just… I think we're just at the point where we're just… boyfriend and girlfriend. Nothing more, nothing less than that. I think we still have a long ways to go before we get that serious." I might as well make the most of this opportunity, right? "…H…how did you know… that Joe was serious about you? I like to think that he's serious about me… but I don't really know." I look down at the table again.
"Joe's serious about you, Demi." She reaches across the table and puts her hand underneath my chin. She gently lifts my head. "I knew the day he told me he was going to be with you in the hospital after you hurt your knee that he loved you. When he used to speak about you, I saw it in his eyes. It's like… like a fire in his eyes. A fire that I never saw before, even when he looked at me." I think she can see the tears welling up in my eyes, because she looks at me like a mother would look at her child. "Don't question me on it, either. I was married to the guy for five years, I know when he's passionate about something."
"…Thank you." I bite my lip softly and just open my mouth back up. I realize how much I needed to speak to someone. "Sometimes he tells me he loves me, and I just don't understand why. I'm too young, I'm not… I'm not the prettiest girl in the world. He can't have a baby with me until he's in his thirties. I'm still in college. Sometimes I feel like he thinks he's babysitting me. Like he talks about how he's gonna basically put his life on hold until I finish school. He shouldn't have to do that. I don't need a babysitter, you know?"
"Oh, Demi." She hands me a wad of napkins from the napkin holder. "This may sound strange coming from me, but I think you need to hear this." She looks at me like I'm her friend now, not her child. "You are easily the prettiest little girl I've ever met in my life, aside from my own girls. When Joe finally admitted to sleeping with you, I knew. I was feeling much like you're feeling right now. I knew I couldn't compete with you. I knew that you were head and shoulders prettier than me. You can offer Joe the things that I can't. I knew that. I was feeling the same way you're feeling."
"…I'm not prettier than you, though. I just think he should be with someone his own age. I don't know how he could love me. I think he lies when he says that sometimes. I think he says it because he doesn't want to make me feel bad."
"He does love you though. I know he does. Demi, he's been thinking about taking a job at the University of Arizona, just so you can stay in ASU with no problems. He's thinking about quitting his JOB, honey. Joe LOVES his job at ASU. He wouldn't quit it for you unless he really, really loves you. Hell, he wouldn't even quit it for me! A few years back, he got an offer to go teach at Colorado State and he turned it down. I begged him to take that job. Colorado is where the majority of my family lives. I wanted to move so terribly, Demi. He wouldn't quit. If he quits for you, he LOVES you."
"…He never told me that he might quit his job…"
"Because he doesn't want you to feel like you're responsible for him quitting. That's why he hasn't told you yet. Ever wonder why he wanted to move to Drexel Heights? Drexel is way closer to UA than ASU."
"…Wow."
"Don't question him on it, sweetie. He loves you."
"….Thank you, Blanda. I really mean that. Thank you so much."
"No problem. You're a really good girl. I don't think Joe could have picked anyone better. You hear me?" I nod. "If you ever need anything… you have my number now. Just give me a call or a text."
"You too. I mean, I'll help you in any way that I can. Like… if you need a break from the girls, I'll take them for a little bit. Things like that." I stand up from my chair. "Oh, and good luck on your date. Do you really like the guy?"
"Yeah, he's nice. His name is Derek. He's divorced like me and he has an older daughter named Zoey. We really get along at work, and we've been… you know… flirting for a long time now. I never went after him because I was married, but now that I'm single…" She giggles. "Listen to me, gushing. Do you need a ride back to your dorm?"
"No, I'll walk. The fresh air will do me some good, plus my knee feels better if I walk on it. It won't stiffen up if I walk on it." I stifle out a big yawn. "…Have a nice night, Blanda. I'll talk to you later?"
"Yes, you will. You have a nice night too, okay?"
I nod and leave out of the café. Well, that went better than expected, actually. I can't believe she's alright with me dating her ex-husband. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. Now that Blanda and I are on civil terms, I just feel like everything about me and Joe's relationship is falling so far into place. I feel like I can just… float. I mean, we must really be on cool terms. She was telling me how pretty I am… and how SHE was jealous of ME. I still can't let that sink in. SHE was jealous of ME. And I was venting to her about her HUSBAND. I don't know, but I think I might actually like her. I don't know how Joe would feel about me and her speaking like that, though.
I bury my hands deep inside my hoodie pocket and start walking back up the hill that leads to the campus. With every step I take, I start to feel a little bit of pain down in my lower stomach. I take a quick second and do some mental math. Yeah, my period's due. I think I might be getting ready to come on it. With that being said, I wonder if Joe will buy me some tampons.
I walk through the main entrance of my dorm and start walking up my steps. "Ouch!" I involuntarily shout at the stabbing pain in my crotch. Oooh, maybe he'll buy me some Midol too. I wonder if he'll go tonight for me. I'd take his car and go myself, but I don't really feel like I can do anything with this sudden onslaught of cramps. I roughly turn the knob to my dorm door and slam it behind me. Fuck, my stomach is really hurting. I limp slowly to my couch and hunch over the arm of it. "Joe… come here."
I hear the squeaking of my floorboards which means he's coming. "Yeah baby?" His face turns quickly sour when he sees me hunched over. "Demi, what's wrong? Are you alright?" He puts the palm of his hand against my forehead. "Baby, what's the matter?"
"I just…" I don't really want to talk to him about my period right now, but surely he knows all about this stuff, right? I mean he was married for five years. "I just got my period. Can you…. please… please r—"
He grabs his car keys with the quickness. "What does the box look like? And what are they called? Isn't it called like… Tidoll or something?"
"Midol." I bury my face inside my couch cushions. These cramps are too fucking severe. "I need tampons too. They come in a black box, they should say Kotex on them. Get the ones with 36 inside the box. …Make sure they're regulars, not supers or super pluses. They should say unscented on them… please hurry."
"Okay… black box… regular… 36. Unscented? Midol. Got it."
"Hurry up."
"I'm going, I'm going. I never bought tampons before… it might take me a little while."
"PLEASE don't take for-fucking-ever."
"I'll try babe." He leaves out of my dorm.
Joe's Point of View.
"…What aisle are women's products in?" I ask the cashier standing at the register. Demi's gonna kill me. I've already taken ten minutes. I ran to CVS, they were closed. I ran to Target and they don't have the tampons in a black box and all they have is generic cramp relievers. So I had to run all the way across town to Walmart. I'm tired of running a million places, but every time I get a little irritated about it, I just think that it's for Demi. I'd do anything for her. The cashier looks at me like I'm nuts, just like the cashier at Target looked at me when I asked if they sold tampons in a black box. Obviously the tampons aren't for me, so I don't get why they have to look at me like I'm a transsexual or something.
"Aisle 6, right next to the pharmacy." She points me in the right direction, still looking at me like I'm bare butt naked or something. I know that I'm dressed in blue pajama pants with cartoon frogs all over them, a white t-shirt and Duck Dynasty slippers, but I've seen people come out in public in way worse.
"Thanks." I mutter and power-walk to aisle six. Holy shit, how do girls choose?! It's like a tampon factory over here. There are blue boxes, white boxes, pink boxes, purple boxes, gray boxes, yellow boxes. Regular, super, super plus. Scented, unscented. Kotex, Tampax, Playtex, Equate. Where are the black boxes?! Come on…. I look all along the wall for black boxes. Aha! I found it. I grab the first black box I see. Kotex U, Sleek. Regular Tampons. Unscented Tampons. 36 count. Plastic applicator. I think these are the ones. I stuff the box under my armpit and go to the pill section. Midol…midol….midol.
Blue and white box. Midol complete, maximum strength. Well, I don't know if she wanted maximum strength, but the way she was crying about the cramps, I think she needs maximum strength. I grab the small box and hold it. Something red catches my eyes. I pick it up, just to see what it is. I read the description aloud to myself. "ThermaCare Menstrual Heat Wraps. Soothes menstrual cramps instantly." Hmm. I guess these won't hurt. I grab two packs of them and head up to the registers. On my way back to the registers, I pass the bakery section. I don't know if Demi's like Blanda, but if she's anything like her, she could use cupcakes while she's on her period.
I grab a plastic container of chocolate and vanilla cupcakes and take all my things to the speedy checkout. I think I did good. I got the tampons in a black box. I got Midol. I picked her up some heating pads, I don't know if she'll want them, but I don't think she'd mind having them. And I got her some cupcakes. For my first period trip, I don't think that was half bad. I'm proud of myself.
The cashier is a tall, blonde woman. She's definitely older, but not too much older. She takes one look at my items on the conveyor belt and smiles. "You've got one lucky lady at home."
Really woman? Thanks.
I'm glad that I've done something right.
