Chapter Twenty Nine: Howlers and Professor Voldemort

Raiden smirked as he went up to breakfast a few days later. Voldemort had informed him, via their diaries that his one and only warning to Umbridge would arrive that morning. He had also told Raiden that if Umbridge ignored his warning then he would be taking Raiden's idea and running with it. That meant showing up in DADA, and he would clear it with Dumbledore first, promising not to harm the students while he was there.

Grinning, Raiden sat down beside Daphne, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. The two had chosen to take their relationship slowly to the next level and had officially declared themselves as a couple in the last week of the summer. Sirius had enquired as to whether Daphne would be wearing a promise ring anytime soon but both Raiden and Daphne had said no, that would come in either their sixth or seventh year if they lasted that long. They were still taking it slow, good morning kisses and the odd snog here and there but by far the most common expression of affection towards each other were hugs and holding hands outside Hogwarts.

Daphne kissed him back and then smiled as Raiden grinned at her. "What's got you in such a good mood this morning?" she asked.

Looking round to ascertain that the only ones near them were the Avengers, Raiden lowered his voice as he replied, "You know that DADA class that I insulted Umbitch in?"

"Yeah. What was that note that she gave you?" Blaise asked.

Raiden smirked and replied, "It was a note advising Snape that she'd given me detention. Don't get detention with her guys; she forces you to write lines with a blood quill. Take a look at my hand."

He laid his hand on the table and there was a growl from all the Avengers as they saw the broad scar on their friend and leader's hand. Hermione, who was sitting with them that morning glared at the staff table, before turning back and hissing quietly, "Do you want me to research a list of spells you can use to pay her back, Veneficus?"

Raiden smirked. "Thanks, Athena but I had a better idea. I complained to my Master about it." He struggled not to burst out laughing when all his friends smirked.

"And what did Lord Voldemort have to say about it?" Draco asked, looking rather eager.

Raiden looked up at that moment and spotted a large black owl winging its way towards the staff table. "Hear for yourself. He's sent a Howler but he's told me that if Umbitch doesn't listen, and I'm betting she won't, that he'll take my idea and go with it."

"What's that?" Daphne asked.

Raiden smirked. "He'll show up in DADA and curse the living daylights out of her." The Avengers collapsed in laughter at the thought. "Oh I hope she does think the Howler is a prank of some sort" Blaise snorted. The Avengers were in full agreement, even Hermione, who would normally not have condoned mistreatment of a teacher. She did however, agree that Umbridge was not a good teacher and deserved to be mistreated a little.

The staff was curious at the owl that landed in front of their most hated colleague but all were secretly, and in some cases, not so secretly amused at the Howler that had arrived. They were just wondering who it was from when Umbridge opened it and they had their answer.

A smoky Dark Mark rose from it, followed by Voldemort's cold voice. Now everyone was curious and a little scared, some of the students screamed at the Dark Mark but were hushed by older students who wanted to hear what the Dark Lord had to say to Umbridge.

"Dolores Umbridge," the Howler started. "I am most disappointed with the Ministry's current stance on my state of health. I assure you and your precious Minister that I am very much alive, and that continued denial of my existence would not be beneficial for your health. I don't expect you to take this seriously; you would have to have more brain cells than the current total of none for you to do that, so I will give you this ultimatum. If you continue to torment and harass the students and staff of Hogwarts in an effort to turn it into your own little empire, then I will have to show up and teach you a lesson. In other words I will show up in your classroom and take it over. The students will at least get ONE good DADA lesson that way this year."

The Howler stopped shouting at Umbridge and turned to Dumbledore. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to hire me to teach DADA, Albus? I'm certainly more qualified than the toad."

Dumbledore was chuckling, his eyes twinkling madly; he was enjoying the fact that Voldemort had sent his biggest headache a Howler. Collecting himself he replied, "I'm afraid not, Tom, the students would be too scared of you to actually learn. Sorry."

The Howler seemed to shrug before it turned back to Umbridge, "Remember just who you're dealing with, Umbitch. I have been informed of your discipline techniques and I am appalled. Yes, I, Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord am appalled at your treatment of your students. Not even I would be as cruel as you're being."

There was a pause before the Howler said menacingly, "Here's a taste of what will happen if you force me to come to Hogwarts." A jet of red light shot out of the envelope and hit Umbridge square in the chest. A few seconds passed before Umbridge began to writhe in her chair. The Howler floated in mid air and said, "It wasn't the Cruciatus, it is an itching curse in various unmentionable places which won't stop until you admit that I am, in fact, alive." The red envelope then turned round in mid air to face the students and said, "Have fun learning Defence, I imagine your teacher should be a bit more amenable to learning curses and counter curses now. Feel free to owl me should her behavior deteriorate. Good day."

The Howler then ripped itself up, and there was a dead silence in the hall for a few seconds before someone snorted in laughter. The hilarity spread until most of the students were sliding off their seats, and the staff weren't far behind. Umbridge sat in her seat, twitching occasionally, trying to control or ignore the itching. The Avengers were almost choking with laughter, and as Raiden met Dumbledore's eyes he winked. Dumbledore smirked at him, knowing perfectly well that his student had owled Voldemort, despite being told not to. It hadn't had any bad consequences though, well, none except for Umbridge that is. Just then the Daily Prophet landed on the table and the population of Hogwarts began reading with concentration. The ministry was doing their level best to remain in denial of the whole situation as per usual. Raiden snorted in disgust and wandlessly incinerated the paper he was holding, making it look like a flare of uncontrolled magic to those that didn't know his abilities. To those that did know however, namely the Avengers and Snape, it didn't do more than raise a few eyebrows at his level of control.

"Annoyed much," Draco whispered. Raiden snorted again and got up to head for Arithmancy. He needed a distraction and working out complicated numerical equations seemed like just the thing. He was joined soon after by his friends and then the rest of the class. He lost himself in the daily routine of classes and homework, managing not to think about the Daily Prophet, or the Ministry, or Umbridge. He wore himself out that day, although if anyone mentioned the Howler he would allow himself a smirk or a chuckle depending on how absorbed in his current task he was.

At dinner, Umbridge scowled fiercely at Raiden all throughout the meal. Raiden ignored it for the most part, except to smile cheekily at her at times. He sent a wandless tickling charm at her, which reinforced the itching curse from Voldemort. Umbridge twitched even more violently and scowled even more fiercely.

Over the next few months, things steadily worsened at Hogwarts. Umbridge continued to make life miserable for everyone, DADA had rapidly become everyone's least favorite class and the fifth and seventh years were complaining about the lack of preparation they were getting for their OWLs and NEWTs. Finally one day, Raiden had had enough. Although Snape was giving DADA lessons to any student who wanted it, and that now included all of Slytherin, most of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, and all the seventh year Gryffindors, Umbridge had appointed herself High Inquisitor and had enacted educational decrees which was making the school suffer. The student rebellion would go ahead as soon as Voldemort had made his appearance. Snape fully approved of the plan and told the staff when Umbridge wasn't around. The only staff member not told apart from her was Filch who was firmly on the toad's side.

Accordingly, about three months into the school year, a deluge of owls descended on Voldemort all bearing notes with variations of "Please follow through on that Howler, the toad still hasn't acknowledged your existence." The Dark Lord smirked; the students were apparently more interested in seeing Umbridge suffer than they were afraid of him. He folded up the letters, incinerated them and then made his plans, starting with a note to Dumbledore.

Two days afterwards, the fifth year Ravenclaws and Slytherins were in DADA when the door silently opened. The Avengers looked up, followed by the rest of the class. Several gasped silently at seeing their visitor. Voldemort put one finger to his lips, and smirked at them. Half the class smirked back as Voldemort advanced to the front, and loomed over Umbridge's desk.

"Hello Professor," he said.

Umbridge looked up and her mouth gaped open, looking very unattractive. "Who are you?!" she snapped once she'd got herself back under control.

Voldemort raised an eyebrow. "I'm the person you think doesn't exist Umbitch. I am Lord Voldemort."

Umbridge snorted. "Yeah right." She got up and swept the class with her gaze. Seeing Raiden smirking openly she snapped out, "Potter! Which one of your delusional little friends did you get to impersonate this, this figment of your deranged imagination?! Both you and this, this imposter now have detention for the rest of the school year!"

There was a collective gasp from the class and many closed their eyes in anticipation of painful retribution from the Dark Lord. Raiden winced; he didn't have to see Voldemort's expression to know that his master was furious at what Umbridge had said.

Voldemort smirked cruelly. "Class, what have you learnt from this toad?" he asked.

The students looked stupefied for a moment before answering as one "NOTHING!"

Voldemort shook his head. "At your level you ought to be learning a lot of things. Just watch, I'll demonstrate some of the more useful curses, hexes and jinxes for you."

The class looked entertained as Voldemort showed the side of himself that had been able to teach Raiden at age eight. In other words, he let go of his Dark Lord persona for the one period and became more of the teacher that Raiden remembered from his childhood. As Voldemort explained certain concepts that they ought to know, he used Umbridge as a practice dummy.

At some point Raiden glanced round and saw a strange sight. Most of the staff was at the door, watching in a strange kind of horror/amusement at the sight of the Dark Lord teaching Defence against the Dark Arts. Dumbledore was there too and he was twinkling away as he normally did, as if pleased at the sight in front of him. Voldemort noticed them too and smirked. "Do any of you wish to add anything to the lesson?" he asked. Head shakes answered him and Voldemort shrugged. "If you wish to stay then you're welcome to do so however please don't interrupt." He turned back to demonstrating a blood boiling curse and its counter, seeming not to care about the shrieks that Umbridge gave when the curse was performed.

Finally Voldemort stopped cursing the toad and stepped back. "Do any of you wish to practice any of the spells I've shown you?" The class eagerly advanced on Umbridge, and covered her with curse, hex and jinx marks until Voldemort stopped them five minutes before the end of the lesson.

"The last three curses that I have to show you are the Unforgivables. I imagine you covered them last year but a refresher never hurt. Can anyone tell me what they are?"

Dead silence greeted him before Hermione raised her hand. "Yes, Miss Granger," Voldemort said, having got her name from Raiden via their bond.

Hermione swallowed nervously but answered, "The Imperius curse, the Cruciatus curse and the Avada Kedavra curse. Professor Moody showed them last year on spiders."

Voldemort nodded. "Good. Ten points to Ravenclaw. Now, I might as well demonstrate two of them. I won't use the Avada Kedavra, I don't want to deprive the school of such a wonderful teacher, but the other two are educational enough."

"Imperio," he snapped. Umbridge went under immediately and Voldemort rolled his eyes. "The more powerful a witch or wizard is, the harder it is to keep them under control with this curse. Although I am very powerful, I would have to expend a decent amount of concentration and power to keep a moderately powerful witch or wizard under control. Umbridge is ridiculously weak; I could be asleep and still have her fully under my control. Now, what should I have her do?"

The class smirked; they were really enjoying this lesson. They then started giving outrageous suggestions, all of which Voldemort actually made Umbridge do. The toad was forced to act like a chicken, proclaim her love for centaurs, behave like a house elf and a myriad of other things. Then Raiden had the ultimate suggestion.

"Have her kiss your robes like one of the Death Eaters. Make her believe that she's your servant."

Voldemort looked disgusted. "Why would I want her soiling my robes, Potter? Having her as a servant would lower the collective IQ of my followers to the very low negatives, and I assure you that all my followers are highly intelligent. In fact, I'm surprised that her IQ level actually registers on the scale at all."

The class, and the watching staff exploded in laughter at the insinuation that Umbridge had an IQ so low that it almost didn't register. The bell rang for the end of the period and there was a collective groan. The students didn't want to leave. Voldemort too looked almost upset that his fun was being cut short.

"One more thing class." Turning back to Umbridge Voldemort leveled his wand at the toad and hissed out "Crucio!" He held the curse for a minute and then let up. Turning back to the class, he said, "I would have held it longer but I don't want to drive her even more insane than she already is." There was a rather weak chuckle from the students, they hadn't enjoyed seeing their teacher writhing and shrieking under the curse. The only one unaffected was Snape, the other teachers and students weren't used to torture enough to be able to watch it dispassionately, not even Raiden and the other Avengers.

Voldemort nodded to the class, and then to the staff. As he turned to leave, he said, "Thank you Dumbledore, I found teaching that class rather enjoyable."

Dumbledore smirked slightly and said, "Thinking of changing careers Tom?" A snort was his answer as Voldemort replied, "No. Teaching all day every day? No thanks. I just came to deal with a problem at the request of your students." With that he turned into a large black falcon and vanished out the window, leaving the students and staff looking at where he'd been in shock. They then turned to Umbridge and grinned, she still looked fearful. Raiden sent a small wandless, silent spell at her and smirked. Umbridge tried to speak but all that came out was a croak.

"What was that you were saying Dolores? I can't quite understand you, you sound like a toad," McGonagall said, prompting a gasp from the students present that she would say something like that.

Umbridge croaked again, and then got hold of her wand. A small counter curse and she was able to speak normally again. Face flushed with anger she snarled, "You'll all pay for this. I'll be giving my report to the Minister I can assure you of that!"

The staff looked distinctly unimpressed and the students merely yawned. "Have fun Umbridge, the only one that will look like a nutcase is you. After all, if Lord Voldemort is supposed to be dead then how could he show up and torture you?" Snape replied, looking as menacing as he always did. Just before he left he looked hard at Raiden who merely smirked. Dumbledore just shook his head and left, he couldn't shake the feeling that Raiden was hiding something but Legilimency didn't reveal anything. The Headmaster finally decided to leave it, after all, Harry surely wouldn't join Voldemort, the Dark Lord had killed his parents after all. He was probably trying to hide some upcoming prank or something, although what could top having the Dark Lord himself teach DADA Dumbledore didn't know. Sitting in his office, Dumbledore stroked Fawkes' head and sighed softly to himself as he prepared to deal with any repercussions from the day's strange events.

Back in Riddle Manor, the Dark Lord was feeling very pleased. He had enjoyed teaching strangely enough, and it was then that he realized why he'd begun to train Raiden, having a student or students in today's case hanging on his every word gave him a different feeling of power than his current occupation did, and Voldemort was startled to realize that he liked the difference. Shaking his head he firmly pushed aside the thought that he might as well apply for the DADA post next year, Dark Lords do not teach Defence against the Dark Arts, and went back to planning what to do next in his slowly developing political takeover of the wizarding world.