WAHOO MY EXAMS ARE OVER!
Ok, that's enough! Sorry for the wait, I have been finishing up with exams and just getting that final revision done. Thanks to my reviewers, Magenta (Great name) Jocasta Silver, bluesheepy and A, of course! You guys are awesome, you all helped me get to 50 reviews! Anyway, Magenta, yes Paris will turn up, just not yet and not for very long. Have a spoiler - Juliet will be rude to him.
Anyway, after Juliet founds out about Rosaline joining them, she calls up the Montagues in a state of anger, and we some of Rosaline's evil side. Or rather, Juliet's opinion of her.
For once, silence had come over the Capulet Manor. Romeo, Mercutio and Benvolio were quietly doing their homework together in the front room when the phone began to ring.
"Should we get Lord Capulet?" asked Benvolio.
"No" said Mercutio. He picked it up "Hello, Capulet's Crocodile Farm, how may I help you?"
"Not funny, Mercutio" replied Juliet.
"Oh, hello Female Tybalt!"
"I'm not a Female Tybalt, that's Rosaline. But anyway, is Romeo there?"
"What do you want to talk to Romeo for?" questioned Mercutio.
"Nothing. It's private"
"How private? I'm his best friend. He tells me everything. I even know what colour boxer shorts he has on today – OW! Romeo!"
"Yes?" said Romeo, having successfully wrestled the phone away from his grasp.
"Hey, it's me!"
"Juliet!" cried Romeo happily.
"Ssh...keep your voice down. I don't want dad to hear, I just want to talk to you for a couple of uninterrupted minutes"
"Oh. What's happened? Is everybody ok?"
"Yeah, we're all good. I don't now if you know this, but me and Tybalt just came home from school, and Escalus was here, talking to your parents. You won't believe who has just been dropped off at your house to take part in the experiment!"
"Tybalt's crazy mum?" suggested Romeo.
"No! That evil heart-stabbing, money grabbing cow, Rosaline Oftmoro!"
"WHAT!" exclaimed Romeo.
"What's this?" asked Mercutio, listening in. He and Benvolio tumbled down against where Romeo sat to listen in as Juliet's words tumbled down the phone in a violent fit of passion.
"We just got home, no one was around, Tybalt went on about them being dead, you know what he's like, and then Rosaline is just standing in the doorway, dressed like a tart, and Tybalt just started making out with her and it was disgusting. She said she talked to dad and asked to see Tybalt, and then got put on the experiment! And Escalus turned up and said he was about to leave, and then your mum said she'd show Rosaline to her room and Tybalt was all 'She can share with me' and your parents were like 'That's not appropriate' and Tybalt went like 'She sleeps in my bed at home' and 'My mum doesn't care' and then your parents said 'You only have a single bed' and Tybalt started whispering in her ear 'We can cuddle up' and I just wanted to vomit and he just called me a Montague-Licker! It's so unfair. Why should Tybalt get his girlfriend to keep him happy when all he's done is cause trouble, be rude, not even make an effort to get along with Paulina and Claudio, and disrespect their religion?"
"That's not fair! It's meant to be Capulets and Montagues only!" protested Benvolio.
"Ehem" said Mercutio.
"Well, Mercutio, you're practically family, so it doesn't count..."
"Exactly!" buzzed the phone "If Tybalt can have Rosaline to keep his bed warm, then I don't see why I can't invite all my friends round to take part too! Well, I don't actually care about that bit, I just don't want her here and I don't want him being rewarded with her being here!"
Mercutio snorted "Why do you hate her? I'm impressed"
"Because she's a life ruiner who threw Hermia down the stairs after Hermia stole her boyfriend"
"She did WHAT to my Hermy-wa!" shrieked Mercutio.
"She threw her down the stairs" repeated Juliet for dramatic effect "She turned Tybalt against Hermia when we were kids, and calls Hermia a bastard and spreads rumours about her, and one time, Hermia locked her in the bathroom with the spider in because Rosaline had called her a bastard again and when Tybalt let her out they started an 'I Hate Hermia' club and they wrote a book about all the stupid things she's ever done!"
"We went to visit Hermia yesterday. She's all alone" cried Mercutio.
"I know. Rosaline told dad to kick her out. Well, Tybalt did, but Rosaline helped! Rosaline secretly wants to run our family, and as soon as I'm Lady Capulet, she'll probably try and bump me off to take over with Tybalt because he's the only boy!"
"Bitch" breathed Romeo "Tell me again, Mercutio and Benvolio, why did I ever fancy her?"
"You did what?" asked Juliet, suddenly alert.
"She manipulated me too" said Romeo "She made me fancy her, and fall in love with her, and then she told me she part of one of those Chastity Club things and didn't want anything to do with me and that I had a face like a camel, and a week later, Mercutio caught her with Tybalt at the cinema, and told me. I didn't believe him, and then Benvolio saw them in the back of his car outside his dad's nightclub, and he told me, and I didn't believe him. And then Mercutio and Hermia filmed them making out at the ice skating rink and showed it to me! I cried"
"Bitch" added Juliet again "Right now, her and Tybalt are arguing with your mum about whether or not they can sleep in the same room. Your dad's getting really shouty"
"He never gets shouty with me! He's firm, but fair"
"I know! They've all been nice to be. I showed your mum my belly piercing. She thinks it's cool!"
"Yeah, mum is cool" agreed Romeo.
"Awww" teased Mercutio in the background "So what are we going to do?"
"I think we should demand that more people come and stay with us" said Benvolio "It's only fair! I'll demand Beatrix comes back from France, and Mercutio, you can demand that Hermia joins the experiment, either with us or Juliet so she can back her up against Rosaline, and Juliet, you can demand that your friends join in. Why should Tybalt be rewarded with his girlfriend when he hasn't been cooperating and has just punched Mercutio in the face, disrespected my uncle and aunt's religion, been rude to them when they tried to be kind, and just been a stupid chav. Let's stand up for ourselves!"
"Yes!" exclaimed Mercutio, punching the air "We will not rest! And, while you're at it, Juliet, try and break Rosaline and Tybalt up. Just say you saw Rosaline with Paris or someone like that. Tybalt's stupider than Romeo – he'll actually fall for it!"
