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Thanks for your reviews for chapter 28. Thanks for everyone who's favorite-d and followed this story. It means so much.

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Arthur and Guinevere: A Love Which Brings Light

Chapter 29

Come on, baby, she thinks. Move for me, will you? Let me know you're doing OK in there.

It had been two days.

Two days, during which Gwen has been fawned over by nearly everyone in Camelot, it seems, everyone wishing to know how she was, how she felt, even though Arthur, Gaius, and Merlin tried to keep things as low-key as possible. It was majorly annoying. The good thing was, she could save herself from most questions by feigning sleep, which more often than not would turn into actual sleep. It bothers her how tired she is, how weak she feels, but tries to succumb to it. She tries not to think about the danger she and the baby are in too much, but it creeps into her thoughts with all the question-asking going on. The worry for the baby blurs out everything else-she hadn't felt it kick or move or anything since she had been in the dungeon and that felt like an awfully long time ago, to her.

Still, what feels even longer is the time she's spent up here, in the Royal Chambers. Through the flood of visitors, the days pass slowly. And through the flood of visitors, she is grateful for the company of Merlin and Gaius, and Arthur more so, who often ends his days earlier so that he may spend more time with her. And now, as she hears his footsteps enter the Royal Chambers, she can't help the smile that slips onto her face.

"Hey," she says as Arthur comes behind her, kisses her on the cheek.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking out the window."

"Anything interesting out there?"

"Sure, If you consider seeing Hangus and Harm's corpses hanging in the square interesting."

He stiffens, tries not to let her see.

"How did you know about that?"

"One of the guards told me a little while ago," Gwen answers. "Whoever beat them did a real bang-up job," she remarks. "I hardly recognize them."

His silence behind her says everything.

At that, her jaw drops. She stops looking, turns to face him.

"You did this?" Her voice is high, squeaky.

Arthur nods, looks down, the upsetness she feels pounding in his ears.

"Yes," he says. "I killed them."

Tears slip down her face.

"Guinevere, I'm sorry, truly I am-" OK, this was a lie. Well, sort of. He wasn't sorry he did it. Those two deserved it. He was merely sorry it had made her upset.

"No, no, I'm OK, really. God, I don't know why I'm crying again." She swipes at her tears. "Don't be sorry. Especially don't be sorry. I'm not." Her face grows defiant and he wants to cry.

"Guinevere-

"They were scum," she says.

"They were scum," he agrees.

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Two days later, Gwen's afternoon is interrupted by a visit from Merlin.

"What brings you here?" Gwen says, smiling.

"Do I need a reason to come and see my good friend Gwen?"

"Merlin."

His face clouds over, grows more serious. "Just talking with Arthur about...what happened."

Gwen nods. "I see," she says. "What did your conversation entail?"

"He asked me if I knew anything about Rothbart, if I'd ever heard of him before."

"Had you?"

Merlin shakes his head. "No."

"Wait, but you killed him, right?"

Merlin nods. "I did. And then I ran back upstairs to see Arthur carrying you...I should've sensed it. I should've sensed something was wrong. Arthur asked me if there was a letter and I said there wasn't, that he shouldn't have worried-" Merlin shakes his head at his own foolishness. "I was wrong, I was so wrong."

"Merlin, Rothbart was an idiot-I'm not trying to downplay your killing him, it was something no one but you could've done, surely-but that's why this happened, that's why you didn't sense it. This whole thing was a half-baked plan made up by some idiotic men from Noceo. Please don't beat yourself up about this," Gwen says.

"How can you possibly expect me to not do that? Because of him, you're lying in that bed, will be until who knows when! Because of him, your health, and that of the baby's is in peril!" He doesn't mean to raise his voice but that's what ends up happening.

"Do you honestly think I don't know that? I have too much time to myself to dwell on it myself all day, up here alone, in the first place! My God, please don't remind me of it anymore. You're worse than the hordes of people in here everyday saying these exact same things." Hurt flashes across his face at her words, even though it shouldn't. She was right. He felt horrible to draw attention to things she was all too aware of. He feels very stupid.

"You're right," Merlin says quietly. "I'm sorry."

"I am too," she says shortly, folding her arms across he chest, sighing, leaning back against the pillows.

"I'm sorry," he says again, like the coward he feels like, and retreats, backing away from her, trying not to run from the room.

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"What happened?" Arthur asks this upon seeing his servant after he'd practically ran away from Gwen.

"How do you know if anything happened?" Merlin says, trying to play off his hurt lightly.

"Because of that sad look on your face. Now, I know you were with Gwen-Catherine told me she saw you come in when she was leaving-so I assume it happened there. What happened?" the king asked again, if only for the pure purpose of knowing. It didn't bother him as much anymore, this need to know what went on in Merlin's life. They were pretty linked. Their lives, I mean.

"I kind of bummed her out, earlier," Merlin says. "Gwen, I mean."

Arthur's eyes narrow. "What did you do?" His voice is low, accusatory.

Merlin sighs. "I just...drew attention to things she already knew. This whole thing, you know...She snapped at me. She was very...un-Gwen like. I'm probably not her favorite person right now," he says after a moment.

"This whole thing has been hard on her, not that she'd ever admit that. Having it happen in the first place and then everyone tiptoeing around her afterwards because of it...it's probably pretty annoying for her. She probably is getting weary of even my company at this point. She's struggling with this and is still being so...gracious, about all of it." As he says this, Arthur's hands clench into fists at his sides, surprising Merlin.

"I hope we aren't taking that for granted."

Arthur nods. "I just wish she'd let go for a second and be hurt about it if she is hurt about it. Watching her try so hard to be so together about it makes me feel-

"Sick?" Merlin offers quietly. "A little angry, even?"

Arthur nods again. He runs his hand through his hair. "And there's not much we can do, except struggle through it with her. which I'd do many times over if that meant I could take this away for her, but I can't. So I might as well wallow in her pain, too. I already do, anyhow."

"Love is a funny thing, isn't it," Merlin says quietly.

"Yes, I suppose it is," Arthur replies. "She'll come around," he says after a moment or two. "Gwen, I mean. She'll forgive you."

"You think?"

Arthur nods again.

"It's Guinevere, after all. She could never be mad at me-I mean, you-for too long."

"Uh, you sure about that? 'Cuz, I heard she was mat at you for that one time you missed a date for a long time, and-

"Merlin."

"Yes?"

"Shut up," Arthur says, patting him once quickly on the shoulder, and for once Merlin listens. The conversation over, he watches the king walk back to the hallway leading to the Royal Chambers, and he knows he's going to Gwen, his love, his life. He can only hope he'll have that someday, and that Gwen will forgive him.

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A day later, Gwaine comes to see Gwen.

He talks with Arthur and Merlin first, before going to see her.

"Gwaine," Arthur says in greeting to his fellow knight. "Here to see Gwen, are you?"

"Yes," Gwaine says, nodding.

"We figured it would cheer her up," Merlin pipes up.

"I'm sue she'll appreciate your company," Arthur says.

"That's the hope," Gwaine answers, smiling.

"Shall we head up there?" Merlin asks.

"Yes," Gwaine says. "Let's go." The two of them start to walk away from Arthur.

"Gwaine," Arthur says, making the two of them stop walking, turn around to look at him. "Don't be too long."

"Yes, sire," Gwaine says, and then he and Merlin turn and walk away from the king.

"Is is all right?" Gwaine asks as he and Merlin walk down the corridor towards the Royal Chambers. "That I'm seeing her?"

"Oh, it's fine. Gwen's had visitors all week. Gaius just says to make sure they're merely conversation, nothing too crazy, you know. Why do you ask?"

Gwaine nods, doesn't catch on to Merlin's light tone.

"Just the way Arthur was-

"I know," Merlin replies. "He's been more overprotective than usual." Gwaine nods, feeling more uncertain. "I'll go in, see if she's awake," Merlin says. Gwaine nods again, watches Merlin head inside.

"Hey," Merlin says in a mock-stern voice, poking his head in the door before stepping all the way into the room. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

Gwen rolls her eyes good-naturedly, the upset from yesterday forgotten for the moment, turns from where she stands looking out the window. "Hey, lay off, OK?" she jokes back. "Gaius told me I get 10 minutes to walk around each day-you remember, you were there-and I'll give you one better. At this moment in time, I'm not even going anywhere, merely standing still. So there."

"Point taken," Merlin says, chuckling. "Anyway, it's good you're so presentable because there's someone here to see you."

At this, Gwen perks up. She can tell by the tone of her friend's voice that this is not another question-asker. "Who?"

"Hello, Gwen," Gwaine says in his lovely deep voice, stepping into the Royal Chambers.

'Gwaine!" Gwen exclaims. "You're back."

"I am," he says, and he hugs Gwen gently.

Seeing the somewhat taken aback look Gwaine tries so hard to hide makes her uncomfortable, the situation hitting her like a ton of bricks she wished hadn't been dumped on her.

"When did you get back?"

"Uh, the day you-the day you were-" Gwaine's sentence trails off. It is weird for him to see Gwen like this-sickly, not all together and sarcastic and awesome like she usually is.

"Arthur would barely let us come up here," Merlin says, trying to break up the tension. "Not without a good talking-to first of course." His joke falls flat. The overprotectiveness Arthur usually practices that usually results in eye-rolls, even from Gwen, has not been taken in that manner in these last few days. Knowing this just makes things all the more awkward.

"He said not to bother you too long with my mindless chatter," Gwaine says quietly to Gwen.

"Want us to send him in?"

"Yes if you would please. Thank you, Merlin, Gwaine."

They nod. "If you need anything," Merlin starts to say.

"I know. And, thanks," Gwen says, and Merlin and Gwaine leave the room.

"Merlin, will you please tell me what's wrong?" Gwaine says after they've closed the door to the Royal Chambers, walk away from it. "I know something's wrong. Something happened, didn't it? Something bad." He adds quietly after a moment.

"Yes," Merlin answers. "Yes it is bad, Gwaine."

"Is is the baby? Gwen? What?"

"Actually, it's both of them."

"Wh-What? How?"

"You didn't see it because you were killing off the Noceo men, and then busy with training and knightly things-

"Arthur told me and Leon and Percival to lead training so he could be Gwen. I knew something was wrong, but everyone tried to play it off as no big deal. But when you look at Arthur's face, that's an awfully hard thing to believe."

Merlin nods. "Because of the two men who hurt Gwen, tortured her for those few days, giving her no food or water, the baby is in danger. Gwen was feverish, but thankfully her fever broke a few days ago. That allowed her to leave Gaius' chambers and come back to her own, hers and Arthur's. Since then, she's been on bed rest, and will for a few more days."

"How many more?"

"I don't know," Merlin admits. "It depends on how she and the baby make progress."

"What kind of progress?"

'I don't know," Merlin says. "Gaius tells me that the baby has yet to move or anything, and I just can't stop thinking that if it doesn't ever, if it doesn't-" Emotion threatens to overtake him. Merlin takes a deep breath.

"Why are you being so vague, Merlin?" Gwaine's question is quiet, but stern.

"Because I really don't know anything," Merlin admits. "Nothing more than anyone else does. And she's been such a good sport about it-

"That's Gwen for you," says Gwaine, coming back to his old self, always with good things to say about his friends. "Always so...full of grace, you know?"

Merlin nods. He doesn't tell him that his words mirror Arthur's. "I think I took that a little too far," Merlin says, and Gwaine looks at him, puzzled. "She got angry with me yesterday," he admits, still hurt that he hurt her. "As she should have. I was stupid, un-thinking."

"I'd say that's a pretty accurate description of how you always are, Merlin," Arthur says, coming up to join the conversation. Merlin ignores his comment, is glad he wasn't around to hear what he told Gwaine, about how bad things are. How can he even say that? Merlin wonders Why isn't he mad at me?

"Why aren't you mad at me?" Merlin blurts a second later, to see Arthur give him a puzzled, bemused look. "Why'd you say that?"

"Because I don't have any right to be angry with you, Merlin. Only Gwen does."

"But you-I-I hurt her feelings. You should be furious with me. You usually are."

"I know. But she wounded you too. I could see that sad puppy dog look written all over your face when you came to tell me about it." Merlin looks down, embarrassed. "And, honestly," Arthur continues, his voice softening,"after what those men did, everything else pales in comparison. Sorry for not being more riled up about your little outburst."

"S'OK," Merlin manages, feeling stupid again. Can't he ever say the right thing ever? Nope, no he can't, and so he leaves, dejected, and more than a little angry with himself, leaving Arthur and Gwaine standing together.

"We said we'd send you in, after-

"She's asking for me?"

Gwaine nods. And Arthur heads immediately for the Royal Chambers, leaving Gwaine standing alone in the corridor.

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"I'm sorry," Gwen says immediately the next morning when Merlin enters the Royal Chambers.

"Hey, I was going to say that," Merlin says jokingly, coming over to sit next to her in a chair pulled up near the bed. "And, don't be, really. I was stupid. Of course you know the stress you're under. You know yourself better than anyone else, anyhow. I shouldn't have said what I did. I am sorry, Gwen."

"I know you said what you did out of worry. I snapped at you out of anger," Gwen says. "That's what I'm sorry for. Being stuck up here isn't doing great things for my mood, you know?"

"I imagine it's a pretty tough thing Gaius asked of you, to stay in bed for so many days. How you've managed to keep it so together is a mystery to Arthur and me."

"It's one of my many gifts," Gwen says, flashing a smile.

"Indeed it is," he answers quietly. So maybe she wouldn't spill her emotional guts to him. That's what Arthur's for, anyway, he reasons silently. He would have to settle being what he always was to her: a friend. a good friend. "Listen, I'll come back a little later," he says after they've shared some conversation. "Would that be OK?"

"I would love the company," Gwen says. "Thank you."

Merlin smiles, gets up from his chair.

"No, Gwen, thank you. I don't deserve any kind of apology."

"You do. We all mess up every once and a while. Even a together person such as myself."

That makes them laugh as Merlin exits the Royal Chambers.

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"Look what I found."

Gwen turns to hear the sound of her husband's voice as he enters the Royal Chambers early afternoon a day after she and Merlin patch things up. He sounds pleased, a smile spreading across his face.

"What?"

Arthur pulls a bouquet from behind his back.

"Purple flowers!" Gwen exclaims happily. "Wherever did you find those?"

"Under some snow. Spring is coming, Guinevere. I've been waiting for these flowers in particular to show up once again."

"Thank you," she says, taking them from him, inhaling their sweet scent. "Thank you so much."

"I figured you could use some cheering up," Arthur says, sitting on the edge of the bed, holding her hand. "How are you feeling today?"

Gwen sighs. "I am only tolerating that question because you are you and not anyone else."

"I know it's been hard. Everyone's just...worried."

"I wish everyone would stop saying that," she says quietly.

"That's all they know how to say." The tone of Arthur's voice makes the point hit home to her.

"I hate it when you're right," she says, putting her hands over her eyes, laughing a little. Arthur leans over and kisses her on the cheek.

"It's the worst, isn't it?" Arthur says, playing along.

"It is. It really is." That makes them both laugh again. "I mean, it's one thing when it's Saxon routes or secret castle entrances, but this-

Her sentence is cut short. She gasps, leans forward a little.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Fear grips him and he hates that.

Gwen shakes her head. "The baby," she says. "I-It moved. Here, feel," she says, grabbing his hand, placing it on her bump. Arthur feels a light fluttering beneath his palm. "Oh, thank God," Gwen says as Arthur hugs her, happy tears swimming in her brown eyes. "Thank God, thank God. I don't know what I would've done if-

Arthur shakes his head. "Don't think about that. Shall I get Gaius?"

Gwen nods as Merlin enters the RC.

"Merlin, send for Gaius, would you?" Arthur says. Concern crosses Merlin's face, an emotion he doesn't have to go far to reach.

"Is something wrong?"

"Just the opposite, in fact," Arthur says, still holding Gwen's hand, turning to look at her before looking to Merlin.

"The baby moved again, finally," Gwen says, and a smile splits Merlin's face.

"That's great," he chokes out, threatening to become overwhelmed with emotion. "That is so great."

Gwen nods. "We thought so too."

"Still, we'd like to alert Gaius, make sure everything's all right," Arthur says. "Could you fetch him?"

"Oh, of course," Merlin says a bit breathlessly. "Of course. I-I'm going right now." And he turns and runs out of the room. Gwen and Arthur turn to one another, smiling wavery smiles.

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"Everything is fine," Gaius says after the examination, where he had rushed to the Royal Chambers in a dizzy, worried, happy rush, a smile dancing on his mouth now. "We'll keep an eye on both the baby and your health, Gwen, but I'd say we're out of the woods for the most part."

"Thank goodness," Arthur says in a low voice, gripping Gwen's hand.

"What made you come to this decision?" Gwen asks.

"The movement, for one thing," the physician starts. "That indicated to me that he or she has come out that sort-of trance they were in-trying to do what they could to protect themselves through the trauma. That says something great that they are able to move again at all." Arthur and Gwen glance at each other. "And next, and most importantly." Gaius says, "the heartbeat. It is very strong."

Arthur and Gwen turn to look at each other again.

"That's good," Gwen breathes. "I mean, right? That's good, isn't it?"

"Yes, Gwen," Gaius says. "It is very good. We can all relax a little, I think."

"OK," Gwen says, and she leans back against the same pillows she's been leaning back on all week long, making Arthur and Gauis chuckle.

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"Arthur," Gwen says pleasantly. She is happy to see him. Sitting here in this bed gets awfully old after a while. These last seven days haven't exactly been a joy-Two more to go, hopefully, she thinks-but it's become all the more easier to bear knowing there is not as much harm to the baby anymore. "What is it?" she asks when she sees the look on his face.

"I've been asked to travel to another kingdom. It's north of here, about 70 miles or so. To help with conducting a peace treaty there."

"Oh," she says faintly, and repels the urge to throw up a little bit in her mouth.

"I won't be going," he tells her, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed next to her where she sits upright in it, leaning against some pillows. "I'm not going to go anywhere. Not for a long while."

"Arthur. no-" The moral in her seeps out before she can stop it.

Arthur shakes his head no. "I told you I'd always be here," he says, taking hold of her hand. "I wish to actually live up to that."

"Thank you," she says, almost breathless, not knowing what else to say, the tears heavy in her throat, happy and sad ones mixed together. She is grateful for his hug, and sinks into it before pulling back a few moments after. "Thank you for this."

"For you, Guinevere, anything," he says, and she knows it to be true.