Chapter Twenty Nine: Allies and Loyalty
It had been a week since Harry had come to visit him, and therefore also a week and too many hours since Hermione had left him. Severus had taken Harry's advice very seriously, but he didn't want to seem too rash, and approach his wife with feeble apologies or monotonous sorrys. Instead, he intended to use time as an ally and gradually win her back.
Severus had been racking his brains hard over the past seven days to try and think up the best way to woo his wife back, and show her that he loved her, but he seemed to be getting nowhere; every idea he thought up didn't seem worthy of the feelings he felt for her. As he picked up a quill and parchment to jot some possible ideas down, he was interrupted by the sound of his wards being undone and somebody stepping over the threshold.
"Dad," he heard a soft feminine voice call, "are you home?"
Severus stepped out from his study and into the main section of the house, where his daughter was stood, clad in snowy Wellingtons and a thick winters coat, with her black wavy hair flowing from underneath a Gryffindor coloured woolly hat.
"So you're alive then?" she asked with a frown as she noticed his careworn appearance, sluggish stance and the stubble on his chin that he was just too depressed to shave.
"Obviously," he drawled.
"You look like shit," stated Septima simply once she'd given him a final once over.
"Thanks for that little compliment," he retorted sarcastically, "now is there something you want because I'm busy?"
"Oh yes, you appear to be buried deep in work," she said with as much cynicism as he had shown her. "Or should I call it wallowing?"
"I am not wallowing," he replied disdainfully running his hand impatiently over his stubble.
"I don't see what could have happened between you and Mum that's so bad that she's staying with Harry and Ginny."
"That's because it's none of your bloody business!" he snapped.
"It becomes my business when your little disagreement means that you are falling to pieces and letting yourself go. I mean, when was the last time you consumed something other than alcohol?"
Severus did not answer but he saw her point.
"And when was the last time you washed or had a shave?" she asked with a stern sense of persistence.
"A week ago," he replied demurely as though talking to his mother.
"Exactly. You're a grown man but if you want to act like a child, I'll treat you like one. Go and get a wash and have a shave whilst I make you something to eat," she ordered.
"I'm not hungry."
"I don't care! I'm sick and tired of watching you self destruct. Just go!"
Severus turned on the spot in displeasure and retreated back through his study and towards the bathroom. He loved his daughter to pieces, but she was beyond annoying when she acted like his mother or even worse, her own!
Ten minutes later after a quick shower and even quicker shave, Severus made his way into the dining room where Septima had laid out two places and two glasses of wine.
"You needn't have cooked," he stated, as he took his seat opposite her. "That's what we have Eli for."
"Eli is an elf Dad," she reprimanded in a tone which sounded so much like her Mother, "not a slave to cater to your every insignificant need. Anyway," she added, "I think we need to talk."
"Septima, we do not need to talk," disregarded Severus who downed his glass of white wine in one hefty gulp.
"I think we all do," said a third voice as Sebastian stepped into the room and took a seat beside his sister without waiting for an invitation.
"What are you doing here?" asked Severus. "You're supposed to be at Harry's with your Mother."
"I'm getting bored over there listening to Mum cry," retorted Sebastian dangerously towards his Father, "so I thought I'd come home and tell you exactly what I thought of you."
"What are you going on about?" asked Septima incredulously, who had opted not to visit her Mother in the first week of the Christmas holiday's like her younger brother, but to stay at Hogwarts with her Father, Grandfather and Grandmother.
"He hasn't told you has he?" asked Sebastian looking from his Father to his sister. "Are you too disgusted in yourself to actually say it out loud?" he hissed at Severus whose eyes seemed to burn with anger.
"What's he talking about Dad?"
"I think you better go boy, before I lose my temper," said Severus with his usual classroom caustic incredulity.
"For once, I hope you lose your temper because then I'll be able to hex you the way you deserve!" Sebastian pulled out his wand but Severus simply smiled and slumped into his chair with a disinterested look about his face.
"As you already know son, I can disarm you without even blinking my eyes, so you brandishing your wand is pretty pointless."
"You deserve everything you get!" spat Sebastian as he pointed his wand at Severus from across the table.
"When you're all grown up, we'll have a real duel," mocked Severus, "but until then put your wand away and run back to Mummy."
Sebastian leapt across the table towards his Father, and punched him hard in the nose which instantly spilt blood. Severus stood up quickly and blocked every lunge that his son made towards him from that point forth.
"Will you both stop!" roared Septima. Sebastian and Severus both ceased fire and turned to look at an outraged Septima. "Whatever Dad's done Sebastian, does not warrant you assaulting him!" she shouted at her brother. "And Dad, you shouldn't have retaliated."
"If you knew what he'd done then you'd do the same!" screamed Sebastian in return.
"I intend to find out exactly what's happened, but without your violence. Sebastian, it's high time you grew up and realised that your wand is not the answer to every problem you have."
"I have grown up," he retorted sharply. "But it's about time you stopped pretending that he can do no wrong!"
"He's your Father Sebastian and so you should treat him with respect."
"Respect," repeated Sebastian with a snort. "Respect? Is that what he showed Mum when he slept with that Lestrange woman!"
Septima turned to her Father in search of a contradiction. To her dismay, he remained silent, slumped in his chair, with his head in his hands.
"I think you should go," whispered Septima to her brother. "Tell Mum, I'll visit soon."
"Your not going to stay with him are you?" asked Sebastian with scepticism. "He deserves to be on his own and Mum deserves to have us."
"I never thought you were stupid Sebastian," sighed Septima. "But obviously you are. Do you honestly believe that Dad would deliberately hurt Mum?"
"He did Septima, and even you can't deny it."
"No I can't, but unlike you I'm not going to rushing all guns blazing, because that is neither prudent nor helpful. I am going to find out what happened and why, and try to sort this mess out. Just go back to Mum 'Bastian. You've really disappointed me."
Sebastian snarled at his sister as he left muttering something along the lines of: "naïve and ignorant" as he left.
Septima paced the room for a while, allowing her mind to get the events into perspective before beginning her line of questioning. Severus meanwhile remained with his head in his hands and his fingers massaging his temples.
"Did you do it?" she finally asked after what seemed like an eternity.
"Yes," Severus answered shortly and without the energy to put his side of the story across.
"Why Dad?"
"What's the point in me telling you Septima?" he asked with a defeated sigh. "You'll only take your Mother's side anyway, and retelling what happened will not help me."
"Yes your right, if you did set out to deliberately hurt Mum and sleep with Bellatrix Lecrazy, or whatever her bloody name is, then I will leave you for Mum. But I know you Dad, and I know that you love Mum and you'd never hurt her."
"I didn't want to hurt her Septima," said Severus, "I'd never deliberately hurt her, but I had no choice and I did."
"Tell me," stated Septima, as she sat down beside her Father and waited for him to begin.
Severus told his daughter exactly what had happened but was keen to miss out the sordid details, (that was not something a young lady like her wanted to hear about her Father.)
"And that's it," concluded Severus, "she left and I'm here."
"You did the right thing," said Septima after a moment of shear contemplation.
"Obviously not."
"No you did," reiterated Septima as she laid her hand atop of her Father's. "I think Mum understands that you did it because you had to, but at the moment, I can imagine that the only thing running through her mind is the thought of you and Bellatrix, not what would have happened if you refused."
"How can I show her that I love her, and that I'd never willingly go and seek out another woman when I have all that I want in her?"
"You've got to show her," answered Septima with a heavy frown. "You'll have to use Granddad's pensive and show her what happened. Maybe then she'll see your resistance and understand more."
"I can't do that," said Severus.
"And why is that Dad? Worse thoughts of what she thinks happened will be in her head at the moment, and so actually seeing you and Bellatrix will be much better than Mum's own imagination."
Suddenly the room felt a little bit hotter and Severus had to undo his top button in an attempt to regulate his frantic breathing.
"Have you ever been in a situation where despite your anger and your mental unwillingness to respond to somebody's touch, your body overrides your ability to stop?" he asked, a little uneasy about having such a sexual orientated conversation with his seventeen year old daughter.
Septima thought back to a time when she and Albus were in the middle of a raging argument and he had tried to kiss her to stop her babblings and ranting. At the time, she wanted nothing more than to punch him and tell him that she never wanted to see him again, but the feel of his body against hers made her brain seem unable to stop, and she ended up responding to his touch even though she knew it was wrong.
"Yes, I know exactly what you mean," replied Septima. "When Albus and I-"
"Actually Septima," interrupted Severus, "I don't think I want to know."
Septima smiled. Here she was listening to her Dad's reminiscence of his sexual experience, yet in return he was reluctant to even accept that she was sexually active, never mind listen to her comparison of their situations.
"All I meant by using my own experience as a broad link to yours, is that we all do things in the heat of the moment that we wouldn't normally do. If your body reacted to hers then it is only natural, but then if so, I suggest that you ignore my idea of the pensive."
"But then I'd feel like I'm lying to her," retorted Severus. "And I don't want to do that anymore."
"What I think defies a lie is when a person deliberately replaces what actually happened with their own idealisms for what did. In this situation you would merely be missing bits out, so technically you wouldn't be lying."
"Why are you helping me Septima?" asked Severus. "Why aren't you over at the Potter's with your Mother like Sebastian, plotting to kill me!"
"Because I'm more like you than you know, and I know therefore, exactly how you think. When I was growing up I always hoped that the man I married would treat me the way you treated Mum. I always knew that your relationship never had perfect foundations, but you covered up the primary cracks by your determination to show Mum that you love her. I don't think Sebastian understands that you see, and all I believe he sees is somebody hurting his Mum, and he loves Mum more than anyone it the world."
"What if you're Mother is angry with you for helping me?" asked Severus. "That's hardly fair on you."
"If a little barney with my Mother is what it takes to get you two back together and us all as a family for Christmas, then that's the risk I'll have to take."
"It's a week until Christmas Septima, you have no chance."
"I'm a Snape Dad," reprimanded Septima with a smile, "I have every chance."
Severus smiled.
"I promised Albus I'd let him take me out today so I'll have to love you and leave you now," said Septima as she stood from her chair and planted a kiss on her Father's forehead. "Write her a letter today, and ask her if you can meet up and talk. Meanwhile, I'll go to see her myself."
"Write her a what?" asked Severus in astonishment.
"A letter," repeated Septima. "If she won't listen to you in person she'll have no choice but to listen to your inky words."
Severus thought about this for a moment, and just before his daughter left the room, he called her back. "Thanks for being my daughter," he said and she flashed him a smile.
"You have no choice who your Father is," she answered back. "But if I could have chosen one, I would've chosen you."
