Author's Note: And so here comes the third installment of "Three Aces and a Joker," my first multi-part chapter in the story, which I'm honestly hoping doesn't become a regular occurrence seeing as how I like to get all my shit done in one sitting.

Oh, and also to make a few shout outs beforehand:

shadowkidd93: I'm glad you've been enjoying this story so far and I honestly haven't given much thought to possibly doing a Saints Row-based fic because I've been so drawn in by my current projects, but I guess I wouldn't entirely rule it out. In a way, this probably could be considered a Saints Row story if you're willing to surgically remove all my O.C.'s and inputting actual SR in-game characters.

LordFrieza: I honestly haven't watched "Scarface" in its entirety, but I have heard about the scene which you refer to and also hear of how it is alluded to in Vice City with Apartment 3C. I always loved using the chainsaw when I could and really wanted to do a scene incorporating it; hence I gave Artie the excuse to cut up some Redcoats with it.

Native Gunz: I know, I know you're probably feeling like a john not getting his money's worth since I am admittedly the WORST in the world when it comes to responding to requests regarding reviewing stories, but I will try.

I honestly don't know if Vanessa will have a larger part in the story or not, I just really needed an excuse to have a hot naked black chick in my story…yes that is me being your stereotypical perverted white guy when I type that out…

I don't know if I would really consider Boomer a Southerner or not, but more so some people could naturally assume he is some kind of country bumpkin based upon the way he dresses. Again, he's supposed to be inspired by Norman Reedus' portrayal of Darryl Dixon from "The Walking Dead," and he himself dresses like he's some kind of redneck survivalist too. I just wanted the Preps in "Blown in 60 Seconds" to have some excuse to make hillbilly jokes and naturally since they're a bunch of ignorant, upper class snobs they would naturally be ones to jump to conclusions and judge him based upon the way he dresses, like how some might automatically assume a person is a Satanist because they wear all black or a gangbanger because they wear hoodies and have their baseball caps turned around.

I would say the Children of Chaos are to an extent inspired by the Hell's Angels yes and the Luciferians are supposed to be inspired by this multicultural biker gang I heard of a while back called the Black Sabbath MC, whom I believe were started in California and were initially comprised entirely of black members, but then grew to accept members of different cultures over the years. Admittedly I do have them including non-white members as a means of making them seem more sympathetic compared to the Children and the Whiteskins.

Chapter 29: Three Aces and a Joker, Pt. 3

Artie was now back in Camden Heights, having been forced to abandon the Washington after barely outrunning some Redcoats who had spotted him as he made his way through Bellport. Deciding the risk wasn't worth it he had been on foot ever since, getting a decent workout in the process.

"These people need to fucking tell me more if they're gonna work with me in the future," he thought taking a right turn onto another street and pushing his way through a line of horny perverts waiting outside the XXX-Plosion Theater, keeping his eyes open for anything remotely resembling a possible Ace-owned vehicle.

He moved along the street ignoring the cat calls of a few prostitutes looking to claim their next 'sale' and the construction workers swooping in looking to take advantage of his wordless refusal, his eyes darting back and forth.

"Next time they're gonna have to tell me where the fuck I gotta meet 'em at if they're gonna wanna do business with me," Artie again thought to himself, feeling severely irritated and having to resist the urge to punch out a street hustler that was trying to call him over for some card game that was likely fixed to begin with.

"C'mon damn it," he muttered as he approached the end of the street knowing he was running dangerously close to the district's edge.

"Huh?" he grunted aloud as he happened across St. Malachi's Catholic Church, looking over to the parking lot to find a dark blue '84 Polaris V8 muscle car with gold trim rocking up and down.

"Hmm, that looks interesting," Artie said aloud walking towards the car, "Definitely puts a new spin on confession."

He waited for the car to stop rocking and his mouth suddenly fell wide open as a young nun climbed out of the backseat, readjusting her habit before accepting a large wad of cash.

"St. Malachi's parish thanks you for your generous donation," the young woman spoke as she sifted through the stack of bills, "Are you sure the condom held?" she asked the unseen occupant inside.

Stepping out of the back was a tall, muscular Caucasian man with his short brown hair shaved into a crewcut, wearing the typical Ace vest with a black muscle t-shirt underneath, a pair of camouflage pants, black combat boots and matching fingerless gloves.

He immediately recognized the man as the same machine gunner who had saved him, Zeke and Kato from the Redcoats assault at Gazangas.

"Those are Spartan Condoms I used, tough enough to withstand an army of 300, 000," the man chimed, sounding exactly like the spokesperson heard in all the commercials, "Besides if anything happens, you can say that it was an Immaculate Conception, that should bring you guys some extra money."

"Very well, I'll be on my way now," the nun said before disappearing into the church.

"You Rex?" Artie asked as the man pulled out a bottle of beer and consumed the rest of its contents before tossing it aside.

"Yeah, who wants to know?" the man asked eying him suspiciously before stopping himself, "Oh yeah, you must be that guy they were talking about back at the base, Artie right?"

"Yeah, that's me, nice to meet you," Artie said reaching over to shake the man's gloved meaty hand, "So what's on our agenda?"

"Get in and I'll tell you," Rex replied motioning towards his car.

Artie climbed into the passenger's seat and the Aces' enforcer fired up his car, blasting "I'm Alive" by Anthrax on 94.3 CSKD.

Once they pulled into traffic he started to talk, "Kato was telling us that you're some kind of badass with a gun, right? Naturally because he's a rookie, we don't take him seriously until we get to see you in action and if you're gonna want help from us you need to be able to give in return. I personally wanna see how much of a mean streak you've got and to do so, you and I are gonna hit up a Redcoat hideout not far from here."

"Well I've already killed quite a few of those fuckers and have witnesses to prove it, but I guess that's all moot right now. Oh well, I'm up for it after all the shit those bastards put my cousin through," Artie replied.

"I like your enthusiasm, but I don't like the thought of having to share some kills with you to tell the truth," Rex retorted as he nearly ran over a stumbling drunkard.

"Relax man, I believe in sharing," Artie jokingly replied.

Rex continued until he brought the car to a halt by a former Toyz N' The Hood distribution warehouse near the edge of the Camden Heights district, "This is the place."

Getting out of the vehicle the enforcer moved around to the back and opened his trunk to reveal two FN M249E2 SAW light machineguns and two fresh bulletproof vests.

"Fuck yeah, I like your style," Artie spoke with a hearty nod of approval.

"What can I say? I like everything big: my guns, my car's engine, the boobs of the whores I fuck, I ain't got time for any pussy small caliber guns! Now go ahead and take one of each. We're really gonna show those Redcoat motherfuckers how we do business," Rex spoke as he strapped on his Kevlar vest and one of the machineguns to make sure it was fully loaded and fine working order.

Once Artie was suited up it was game time and the two were prepared to unleash hellfire and brimstone upon their unsuspecting prey.

The duo crept along the decrepit building's outer wall with Rex on point, carefully scanning the area for any guards. The Redcoats would know the area and therefore wouldn't be stupid enough to have members flashing their colors as plain as day, instead opting for them to go the 'undercover' route.

So far all they spotted were an emaciated junkie sleeping on a soiled throw rug and a hobo in the middle of chasing a stray cat with a rusted pitchfork, more worried about scoring his next meal than keeping lookout for any intruders, neither enough to be considered a threat to them.

With no visible threats in sight they made their way towards the nearest door and listened for any sounds from within, hearing only some faint hip-hop music.

"Alright, those shriveled nut sacks are definitely here. Remember like I said, you leave nobody alive. These bitches aren't worth sparing, they'll just get more of their goons and come back for you if you let them," Rex explained and with a nod kicked the door in.

The two gunmen found themselves in a loading dock with a few trademark Redcoat Burritos and a few Mule box trucks, a few hired hands in gray industrial jumpers standing around, but springing to life once the two men made their presence felt.

Most of them barely had any time to react as Rex began firing away with his machinegun, cutting down several men in one destructive hail of gunfire, rendering most of their trucks useless as well.

The gunfire caught the attention of some Redcoats who had been in the adjoining room and they emerged with shotguns and submachine guns drawn, yet most of them too would fall in shredded heaps of mangled flesh.

"I thought this was supposed to be my time to prove myself," Artie thought as he squeezed his S.A.W.'s trigger and began cutting through some of the Redcoats who had managed to avoid Rex's initial assault, some of his bullets eventually finding their way to a cluster of flammable barrels and creating a small explosion which immolated one of the nearby members.

A feral cry came from the hired gun's right and he turned to see a homeless junkie attempting to ambush him with a crowbar, but Artie was quicker and tripped the man, sending him falling face first to the concrete floor and then firing a round into the back of his skull, leaving behind a few tiny ragged strips of flesh.

By now most of the Redcoats were on full alert thanks to the gunfire and had been given time to reach for their weapons and were returning fired, but doing little to faze Rex.

"C'mon you goddamned fucking Redcoat pussies! Gimme a reason to sweat goddamn it!" he shouted as he tore into a rival gangster's chest, the man firing his AK-47 into the ceiling as he fell backward.

The enforcer continued firing away like a madman possessed until his machinegun jammed on him.

"Aw fuckin' A! Not now damn it!" he grunted as he was forced to take cover behind a heavily dented metal crate.

"Gonna rain down the fury of the heavens upon you!" another bum shouted making a suicidal charge towards the Aces' enforcer with a baseball bat in hand, only to be cut down by a disemboweling blast to the torso by Artie.

"Demons of Hell, I beseech thee be gone at once!" another delusional junkie shouted raising a fire axe high above his head, only to find his torso separated from his legs a second later thanks to the hired gun before some Redcoats showed up and Artie too would be forced to take cover as the red-clad thugs began ganging up on him, leaving him room to only pop out and quickly squeeze off a few rounds before retreating behind some metal crates.

The crack of machinegun fire sounded, telling him Rex had finally managed to fix the jam and was back to raising hell alongside him.

Seeing another opening, Artie stepped out and began tearing through more Redcoats, continuing until he took a three shot burst to the chest, knocking him back a few steps and winding him. He was still alive, but it hurt like a bitch and made it hard for him to raise the machinegun. He seriously wished he would have had some kind of sidearm on him right now.

"Stupid me," he grunted as he tried to retreat, forcing himself to fire a few more rounds to temporarily deter the Redcoats from following after him. As he backed down he noticed the AK-47 of a fallen rival and temporarily dropped the S.A.W. in favor of something lighter.

Seeing another Redcoat charging towards him he fired a burst into the man's side, wounding him severely, but not killing him. One of his friends was on hand to continue the assault, but would fall after taking a round straight through the heart. Looking over to see how Rex was doing, he found the enforcer had deployed his gun's tripod and was quickly chewing through his chain of bullets.

"Ballsy fucker's gonna get caught with his pants down," Artie whispered, noting he would probably soon be out of ammo as well.

Taking aim the errand boy fired a round through the shoulder of an attacking Redcoat and sent the man fleeing for cover while blood gushed rapidly from the wound. He then looked to the catwalk above to see more red-clad adversaries approaching and trained his aim upon another explosive barrel, finding a round that blew it up and burned one man alive while sending the other airborne and landing on the floor below with a bone breaking impact.

The rifle now out of ammo, Artie felt a little better and picked up the S.A.W. just as Rex finished off another Redcoat with a chest ripping barrage that vomited his perforated organs onto the floor before him.

"That's not the last of these pricks. There's gotta be more around," he shouted before charging into another room, only to find himself ducking behind another stack of crates as more Redcoats opened fire.

Artie lugged the S.A.W. into the adjoining room and found himself in what appeared to be some kind of makeshift drug lab where a few more hobos fought alongside the Redcoats, most of them armed with regular handguns as opposed to the shotguns, submachine guns and rifles of their employers.

"I'm a one bum army bitch!" a filthy man in a tattered plaid coat called out raising a Sig-Sauer P226 before two thirds of his face was blown away by a blast from the errand boy's machinegun.

There were twice as many assailants in this room, but there was also twice as much combustible material present and Artie fired away at one of the barrels, which destroyed several workstations in a small chain reaction that killed at least seven Redcoats and bums combined.

"That's how you fucking do it!" Rex screamed as he managed to cut down two hobos and a Redcoat before igniting some more explosive materials and destroying most of the equipment around it as well. The Aces' enforcer continued firing until his chain finally ran out and seeing a dead gangbanger lying nearby, picked up his AK-74 to continue the fight.

Artie continued firing back and forth with his attackers, managing to drop five additional Redcoats and two bums before his S.A.W. finally ran out of ammo and he too would be forced to scavenge the bodies for firepower, picking up an AK-47 off of a red-clad corpse and a Beretta M9 from a deceased vagrant, praying the latter didn't have any kind of diseases creeping on its surface after seeing how filthy its previous user's hands had been.

"If you cocksuckers are going to hire help, at least hire somebody who knows how to use a fucking gun!" Rex shouted before shooting out the kneecaps of a lanky vagrant and sending the man falling over the catwalk's railing, "And who knows how to use a fucking shower too," he added before gunning down a toothless woman whose Glock jumped out of her hands just as she attempted to fire upon the enforcer.

Artie ignored his companion's comment and quickly cut down a taller Redcoat who wielded a light machinegun similar to the ones they brought in, viewing him as a greater threat than the drug-addled hobos serving as their hired help, most of them likely too high or too far into withdrawal to be able to shoot straight or even squeeze the trigger.

Both men continued firing all the lab's inhabitants were dead and all of the equipment was destroyed.

"Is that it?" Artie asked.

"Don't know yet, we gotta sweep this place from top to bottom," Rex replied happening across a Redcoat barely clinging to life, finishing the weakly man with a hard kick to the skull that likely snapped his neck.

The duo eventually made their way into the building's office area that was being used as a makeshift armory and to their surprise found two more M-249's, along with an MP5 and some ammo which Artie took, and an AMP Automag Model 180 and some accompanying ammo Rex would take.

"Shall we?" Artie sardonically asked as Rex pushed past him and into the building's cafeteria where a few more strung out junkies resided.

"The master commands us to defend the castle!" a hobo armed with a spade called out attempting to take a swing at the Italian-American, but was heavily inebriated and missed him by a mile, leaving him open for a barrage which blew his stomach wide open and allowing his intestines to come spilling out.

The poorly-armed vagrants were no match for the two heavily-armed men and within seconds, they were all reduced to a pile of ragged bloody strips on the filthy floor.

"Heh, I could've killed all these fuckers in my sleep," Rex spat harshly, until Artie raised his submachine gun and fired over his shoulder. He turned around to see a hobo had been attempting to sneak up on him with a box cutter in hand, but was now left to gurgle as three fresh holes punched their way through his sternum.

"You were saying?" Artie chuckled in reply.

"Fuck it, let's just find everybody else and kill 'em all," Rex said resuming his aggressive temperament.

"You're the boss," Artie nodded following him back into the main corridor, where another Redcoat attempted to ambush them, only to be shredded by more light machinegun fire.

The duo made their way into another wide open room where more drug equipment was left haphazardly guarded by a few inept bums that would quickly fall before the duo's combined might.

"They must not have cared much for this place to allow a whole bunch of bums to guard it like they did," Rex spoke nudging a fallen man whose stringy gray hair crept out from beneath a sullied beanie.

"You said it, look," Artie said motioning to a whole bunch of satchel charges left lying in an opened crate.

"Heh, no use in sitting around just looking at them," Rex said eagerly scooping a few up, "Let's blow this shithole off the face of the earth!"

Doing as he was told Artie scooped up the rest of the satchel charges and together they began scouring the building for random intervals they thought would provide the greatest chance of bringing the entire building down.

Pushing his way through the men's locker room Artie would eventually find a boiler room and plant the first of his satchel charges in a narrow alcove between a large boiler and a smaller control console.

"Yaaaaahhhhh!" a feral cry suddenly came from behind and Artie looked up to see a massive shadow enveloping him, ducking his head just in time to avoid a hatchet blow that would have surely severed his spinal cord.

The hired gun looked up to see a tall, balding overweight man in a soiled Hawaiian shirt standing over him with a rusted hatchet in hand, frothing from the mouth like a rabid dog. The hellfire of insanity burned in his dark eyes as he raised his blade to go for the next blow.

Artie shot his foot out and buried it deep in the man's groin, following up with another strike and a third until the crazy man finally relinquished his grip on the hatchet and then scrambled for the Beretta, raising it high and emptying five rounds into the maniac's chest.

"Fucking freak," the hitman spat raising his handgun and pointing it in all directions to make sure there were no other crazies lurking in the darkness waiting to ambush him when he least expected it. When he heard nothing aside from the scurrying of rats he made his way back through the locker room and into the main corridor.

His next stop was what had once been the decommissioned warehouse's computer room, the room lined with outdated computer consoles that had now collected dust over the past few years, an entire cloud of it nearly blinding him when he accidentally knocked over a swivel chair. Shrugging off the temporary distraction he planted the bomb in the center of the consoles and then quickly made his way out before he could be overcome by the dust.

There were still two bombs left and he would need to find suitable spots for both of them-

"I spy with my little eye," a low, sinister voice called out from behind and the hired gun whirled around to find himself met by a hobo covered in leathery patches of skin and shaggy gray hair, an eye patch covering his right eye and a crude hammer constructed from an iron pipe and large chunk of concrete held together by vinyl tape in his hands.

"Spy this bitch!" Artie shouted raising his gun and firing a bullet through the man's remaining eye, not in the mood for putting up with any more shit from the red-clad thugs and their drugged up lackeys.

The hired gun made his way further down the hall and into a room that had been filled to the brim with flammable cleaning chemicals, a perfect spot.

Kneeling down he set the charge alongside a shelf and quickly got the hell out of there to find a spot for the fourth satchel charge, looking around frantically for any stragglers as he bolted down the corridor and soon found himself in a larger room with more drug-producing workstations set up. He quickly ran over and planted the last charge in a spot between two tables littered with equipment and noting the volatility of the situation, quickly sprinted back into the corridor only to nearly collide with Rex.

"There you are! For a second there I was thinking you'd decided to get cozy with those hobo bitches running around here," the muscular man laughed harshly.

"Ha ha!" Artie sarcastically retorted, "All charges are primed and ready to go," he reported.

"Alright, let's blow this shithole off the face of the earth," the Aces' enforcer said waving him towards the nearest exit.

The hired gun chased after his companion and they bolted outside past some oblivious junkies towards Rex's waiting Polaris V8, the big man delivering a forceful soccer kick to knock away a smaller man who had been attempting to steal the muscle car's rims.

They climbed inside and Rex fired up the car's engine. Appropriately enough, DragonForce's "Through the Fire and Flames" was playing on 94.3 CSKD as they raced away.

"Time for some Grade-A motherfucking fireworks," Rex spoke as he raised the detonator and pushed the button.

What followed was a massive earth shattering explosion that blew debris hundreds of feet into the air and left behind a mushroom cloud that would likely be seen even from the city's farthest corners.

"Oh fucking yes!" Rex laughed hysterically as they watched the towering inferno from a safe distance.

Artie couldn't help but join in, by far the largest explosion he had seen during his time in the city, even dwarfing the freighter being sunk as he and the Luciferians hijacked that weapons shipment.

More sirens filled the air, one of them recognizable as that of a fire engine. Already a crowd of people could be seen gathering around to view the aftermath, many of them snapping photos with their camera phones. An RCNN-13 Maverick was also seen approaching the spectacle, following after the R.C.F.D. Armadillos leading the charge.

"I think it's time we get the hell outta here," Artie said as several police cars came speeding into view and their officers leapt out to push the overzealous onlookers back.

"Normally I hate to run from such a beautiful sight, but for once I've gotta be inclined to agree with you," the enforcer replied, having been checking out the ample backside of a blonde in skimpy shorts that exposed her hot pink G-string underneath.

Due to the increased police presence Rex was forced to take the longer way around Camden Heights to drop Artie off in front of The Little Black Book.

"Alright, well it was good working with you man. For once Kelly…I'm sorry Kato," Rex said forcing back laughter, "…wasn't pulling shit out of his ass. You really were a badass motherfucker back there," the enforcer said extending his gloved hand.

"You're too kind, and then again, I see why they made you the enforcer," Artie replied returning the handshake.

"No problem, we're definitely gonna be having some work lined up for you in the future. I'll be damn sure to put in the good word for you with Darius," Rex said before pulling a U-turn and making his way back for Lincoln Shore.

Artie turned around and made his way inside the bar, only to find Zeke, Iceman, Randy and Dal all glaring daggers towards him with their arms crossed.

"Where the hell have you been?" Zeke demanded, sounding like a father who had sat up all night waiting for his teenaged son to come home from a friend's house well beyond curfew, "I told you we needed refreshments for the big battle tonight!"

"Yeah, how the hell do you expect us to lay the smack down on those 'Red Dicked losers' if we don't have some fucking booze in our system?" Iceman added.

"And chips and salsa too!" Randy chimed in.

"Yeah man, what the hell gives?" Dal asked.

And then it suddenly hit him, he was supposed to get some beer for their game tonight.

"Oh shit, I'm terribly sorry guys! I was out running some errands and-" Artie tried explaining, only to find himself cut off.

"Errands for somebody else," Zeke shrugged, "What the fuck gives man?"

"It was the Aces alright. Kato pulled up just as I was going into Swigger's and said their 'general' wanted to talk to me," Artie retorted.

"But that still doesn't excuse the fact that you don't have our fucking beer man!" Iceman growled clamping down on the counter digging his nails into its wooden surface.

"Okay fine, fine I'm going to get some!" Artie replied disappearing back through the front door with his hands raised defensively and then jogged over to the liquor store, wanting to get down there before anybody else could suddenly stop him.

"Jeez, some fucking people around here," he thought shaking his head as he finally made his way inside Swigger's.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Author's Note: And so concludes the final installment of a three part chapter! Whew…finally!

This chapter with Rex is inspired by the "Burning Down the House" mission from Saints Row 2 in which you had to blow up that Sons of Samedi drug lab that if I remember correctly, pisses off The General (not Darius!) enough to the point he slices off Mr. Sunshine's ear with the machete.

Rex is meant to be a crossover between Johnny Gat from SR and Ajax from "The Warriors," in the sense of him being a loudmouthed borderline psychopath who is always quick to resort to violence rather than properly strategizing.

The line he utters about Spartan Condoms being "tough enough to withstand an army of 300, 000," is inspired by the real life Battle of Thermopylae in which 300 Spartan soldiers took on what was estimated to be around 300, 000 Persians.

I figured I'd rather have him fucking a nun in the reboot rather than a prostitute just for the sake of making things seem "more wrong" than they should be. LMAO!

The crude hammer the one-eyed bum carries is inspired by one of the improvised weapons David King can create in "Resident Evil: Outbreak" and naturally being a bum, he's not gonna have the money to access to some more conventional melee weapon or firearm.

Well I think that covers everything so until then read and review as always! This is Metal Harbinger saying SPREAD THE SICKNESS, ONE MIND AT A TIME! \m/ (Which I can do now that this chapter is OFFICIALLY over!)