Twenty-Nine

"So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do."

A Fine Frenzy, "Almost Lover"


Lavinia:

Oh. Well. It was certainly not supposed to happen like this. But it did, and quite honestly… I don't regret it one bit. When I set off for a little stroll around Diagon Alley with Boreas I really hadn't intended to… well… hop into bed with him at the end of the day, but it just… happened. First a little shopping, then having something to eat… okay, and a little snogging… and suddenly we were at his apartment and… you get the rest. And I have to say: It was worth it. It feels a little strange, after all those single years, but it feels so…

Oh. Does Orion always have breakfast at seven in the morning on a Saturday morning? Obviously, because he doesn't look at me when I saunter into the kitchen but takes up his tea cup perfectly calm and just says: "You're late." Mh. Do I detect a slightly irritated note in that? Well… even if there was, I choose to ignore it.

"No. I'm rather early." And with a smile I just can't hide I sit down opposite him. Obviously he doesn't want to dignify this with an answer, because he just raises an eyebrow over the rim of his tea cup at me. What? "And yes, a good morning to you, too, and thanks for asking how my evening was. I rather enjoyed it, you know. How did you spend the evening?" Let's see if that gets me any other reaction than controlled Orion.

"Nothing of importance. I've done some research." And then nothing. A little clipped, too. So we're back at being monosyllabic. But I'm determined not to let him spoil my mood. Maybe… maybe the whole divorce-thing is getting more at him than he wants to let on.

"Ah. Sounds fantastic." Pause. Yes, a dramatic one. I can do this, too, you know. "Orion, if this thing with the divorce is hard on you, you could just say so. I'm your friend, don't forget that."

"It isn't bothering me, I assure you." Of course not. And of course it's totally coincidentally that the page you've just been reading is the one with the Society news, where just totally out of coincidence about everyone who has any say in the pureblood world is giving his or her statement about the outrageous act of you getting a divorce. Before I can comment on that, though, he asks: "Weren't you merely supposed to go shopping yesterday?" in a completely innocent and harmless tone, but my mind plays stupid tricks on me and tries to make me believe I've seen the corners of his eyes tighten up just this little bit.

"Sure. But I never said it was to be only shopping." At first he doesn't answer, just folds up his newspaper and starts buttering his toast.

Then: "You have strange notions of meetings that are not dates", totally casual and kind of on the side. Merlin, what is it with that guy today? It's almost as if… he suspects something. But even if he did, why would that bother him? And why does it bother me that it could bother him?

"Actually… I think this whole dating business is totally overrated. If I want to be with someone, I just do it. I really don't need to put a label on it." Ngh. Why do I always start to sound passive-aggressive so fast when I'm talking about Boreas with Orion?

Again he just raises his eyebrows, this time over his toast. Hey! This is not a very polite way to have a conversation. Actually, this is no way to have a conversation at all. "What? Come on, Orion, I know you want to say something, though I have no idea what the hell it could be. Save us both the misery and spill it."

"You sound pretty convinced, considering you've spent the entire last week assuring me that you're not going on dates." Definitely sounding a little unnerved now. What is his problem? Okay, so he can't stand Boreas. But didn't we establish that this is my life and I don't want him to judge it? I surely didn't judge what happened between Bryony and him at the Press Ball, at least not to his face.

"Orion, we both know that this is not about your and my definition of a date. Could we just… let this lie? I don't tell you what you don't want to know anyway, and you don't give me the monosyllabic treatment. Agreed?" Come on, take that straw; let's not spoil this beautiful sunny winter morning after a beautiful winter night with fighting.

"It wasn't me who started the topic." Or not. Either he really hates Boreas or the divorce thing is grating on his nerves. I just don't see why he refuses to talk about it. We're friends, for Merlin's sake, we even live in the same apartment. Normal friends talk about their impending divorces or their first sex after more than five years. And to be honest: When I came home, I actually felt like I just had to burst out and talk about this. Lucky me that the only friend who seems close enough for talking about that is Orion who happens to harbour some deep resentment against the guy I just went to bed with. Suddenly I'm not hungry anymore, and I'm not really in the mood for talking to Orion, either.

"You know what: If you want to sulk for no apparent reason, then hey, go on, sulk all you want. I will just go to bed and catch up on the sleep I lost last night." For a moment, everything is silent. Then, suddenly, the toast is put down rather forcibly and the rattling of his cutlery can be heard.

"For no apparent reason? Honestly? Should I jump up and down in celebration because you go out and sleep with someone like Roshenkov whom even Lucy Carrow decidedly qualifies as dubious?" He says it cool and controlled but this time the irritated and downright furious note is definitely there. I'd even go as far as to say that people who are not Orion would be shouting by now. People like me.

"You have no right to judge me for that. And I didn't ask you for celebration either. I just asked for acceptance. But obviously Orion Yaxley can only accept things that happen in the very narrow bounds of what is deemed proper by him." Okay, that was a low blow. But it's still right. I don't want him to like Boreas – although that would make a lot of things easier – I just want him to accept that Boreas may become a constant part in my life, just like friends do.

But he's in full agitation mode now. "Of course you're so much better a judge than me. How silly of me to actually care for your safety. Haven't you seen how he looked at me yesterday? Didn't he accidentally interfere with our friendship once already? But of course it's me who has narrow bounds, like when I'm eating all the crap for daring to divorce a wife who hasn't officially offended me in any way." And of course it's all dripping with sarcasm.

"Okay… wait… I never judged you for the whole divorce-thing. If I may remind you: I was actually offering you my shoulder to cry on and my support." I think I'll just ignore all this stuff about my "safety" and "how Boreas looked at Orion". Really, that's just… ridiculous. I never thought Orion would let himself be blinded by feelings of rationally totally unfounded antipathy.

"Fine. Misunderstand me if you like. I was only saying that I don't unnecessarily stick to principles if I have reasons against them. It's not about the divorce in particular." Of course it's not. The fact that you're starting to become ostracised by practically the whole pureblood society for rightfully dissolving a marriage that has no future anyway has nothing to do with your recent crankiness. Right.

Go tell that to the Dementors.

"So what is it about? Why can't you just accept that I choose to be with Boreas, even if you for some strange reason I really don't get, think he's not good enough for me or anything? I am the only one who decides who's good enough for me and who isn't." I really thought the times when other people thought they have the right to make my decisions and fight my battles even if I'm grown-up are over. Obviously I was wrong.

"So this is how you're defending that you're ignoring all my objections? It's not about whether he's good enough for you – which he is not – it's about serious concerns about his sincerity. I'm sure he's hiding something material from you, I had found inconsistencies in his tales back at school and I find his reappearance here more than fishy, though I can't prove anything, yet. Why should I trust your judgement if you won't even listen to mine?" He didn't just openly accuse Boreas of something he can't even prove, right?

"I think the question should be another one: Why should I listen to obviously unproven and unjustified accusations? If that's what you call "judgement" then I seriously wonder how you could become second editor-in-chief."

Orion:

I'm speechlessly staring at her after that. How dares she! Not listening to my objections is one thing, but to doubt my professional skills over it is way beyond! I don't understand why she's reacting in such a way; where does this infatuation for such a creepy person come from? Surely it can't have developed only during last week... I already considered him having used a love potion or an entrancing enchantment – but cast it aside. I had an unfortunate experience with an entrancing enchantment once in my sixth year at Hogwarts and it had been entirely different. So, she must actually be charmed by him in some twisted way.

Suddenly, I'm aware that I've been paralysed by her remark at least for several seconds and stir again. "Leave my work out of it", I reply her, in an icy-cold voice and positively glare at her. Actually, investigative journalism relies heavily on instincts before you start research, but what should Lavinia understand about such things. "They're not unfounded, if you would listen to me."

"Well then... enlighten me. Go on", she's waving her hand at me, trying hard to appear bored. I know she's annoyed. I roll my eyes and consider not telling her. I have no hopes she'll even listen to what I have to say. Obviously she's determined to believe that Boreas is the saint he pretends to be and I fear nothing I could say would make her change her opinion. Exactly like back at school, when I had the same suspicions about him and she had chosen him over me. It's annoying. I clear my throat, this time for real.

"First, if you don't remember them, I have already told you about my suspicions at school; the strange things that have happened when he arrived at Hogwarts, for instance. Have you never doubted his tale about why he had been in Slytherin? Even my family had been very determined that nobody – no one whatsoever in the long history of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry – had ever had the right to choose his house by himself without putting on the Sorting Hat. Why would Boreas Roshenkov be the only exception? When even Professor Snape had contradicted it? But of course you people rather believed Roshenkov than the Professor. I'm sure he has told you the same ridiculous tale about how the staff wouldn't confess they had granted his father this exceptional favour – because they feared to state a precedent."

I take a deep breath. "The very first day Boreas Roshenkov had joined Slytherin House, our best chaser Isabelle Rowle had a regrettable 'accident' on her way to Hogsmeade – and guess what? – No witnesses and her unable to mount a broom ever again. But even more mysterious" – I pause for drama – "the next day, Boreas Roshenkov is on the team without trials. Strange, isn't it?"

"That's... preposterous. Honestly, Orion, that's complete rubbish. The Sorting Hat thing was exactly like you said – an exception, granted by the staff. And why should that be of any importance? It's not like he killed someone for that." I shake my head in disbelief. How can she actually think... I want to answer that it would prove that Boreas had been lying about a serious thing at least once, but she's interrupting me as soon as I open my mouth to speak.

"And that thing with Rowle was an accident. What reason should he have to hurt her?"

That's unbelievable! What has he done to her? "Lavinia, just because you would never do such a thing to secure yourself a good position in a team doesn't mean nobody would do it." I'm looking at her very seriously.

Lavinia is far from giving up: "Orion... think again. You're trying to tell me why Boreas isn't sincere now with stories from ten years ago. That doesn't make any sense. Up to now you didn't give me anything newer than ten years." So, she's changing tactics; too bad for her that I have some arguments about that as well. I lean back in my chair in an effort to calm myself down a bit and sit up again only before answering.

"As you wish", I say in an unusually snappy voice. "Let's talk about the present. For instance, I wonder why he miraculously reappeared in your life, just weeks after me. It's such an odd coincidence that he would always interfere with us, whenever we try to be friends."

I lean back again. "But you wanted facts. I can't blame you for that, I have them." I pause another time to collect my thoughts. "Have you never asked yourself why he had ordered a special menu at the restaurant on your first date?" At least I'm allowed to call them dates now. "Isn't it an odd coincidence, that in a menu he ordered especially for you, the first course contains of niffler, when everybody knows that you and Tony used to meet at the niffler's cage? And then, second course containing swan, a meat not normally edible but with very heavy modifications by magic – which just so happens to be the animal on my family's crest. I assure you, if my father was still alive and he had found out that some restaurant was serving swan, he would have challenged them in a duel immediately." I exhale to hide a trace of growing desperation.

"But if you still believe this to be a coincidence, maybe the dessert may convince you. Pavlova, a Russian dish, Russian like Boreas... first Tony, than me and at last, he himself", I sigh. "He's soiling the memory of your late husband; he's insulting me and my family; and finally he puts himself forward in a rather gross way. Remember what you said when we first talked about him – you didn't want him to get between us again, and here he is, only a week later and we're already fighting like last time."

After I have finished, silence. Lavinia is rather red in her face, desperately ringing for words. She looks like she's debating whether to strangle me right away or answer first, at least – quite scary, actually. "This... this is ridiculous", she sounds like she's going to scream at me any minute now. "How dare you... Boreas would never insult my marriage." Blind, so blind! "This is all so very far-fetched... one could think you dragged this all the way from China to here! I can't... this is just... and we're fighting because you obviously have some issues you can't get a grip on and think you have to take this out on me, because I am just starting something that could eventually become a very happy relationship while your own is falling to pieces. You're just being unfair and jealous!"

This is it. I jump up from my seat without thinking properly. I'm not going to listen to such insults any longer. "I have heard enough. Either you're valuing my friendship or you go mess around with Roshenkov as much as you like, but I don't let you insult me any longer." I'm walking to the door and turn around only when I reach it. "It's obvious how you're going to choose so I spare you. I very much regret it. And be sure that this time I'm taking my things with me immediately." With that, I'm out in the hall and off to my room.

I'm so agitated while I pack my things that I need several tries to finally get the charm right and accidentally burn the curtains at the window. Never mind that now; she can let him repair it. Perfect, charming, adorable Boreas Roshenkov who would never do anything wrong... why is she so blind? I have no chance competing with that. He has totally mesmerized her.

It's against my inclination to leave here, but what choice did I have? As much as we had just been fighting, as angry as I am at the moment, I don't want this friendship to end. Hadn't it been the one thing I had counted on when I decided to divorce my wife?

There is a new, strange and pressing thought mounting in me while I'm finishing packing up. I should... I look at the empty room, the blank walls and again the images and sensations of that one crazy evening at Hogwarts come to my mind. I... I would have liked to... maybe to try it again, see if it felt the same. Don't I have anything to lose?

When I'm leaving the room, some strange, incontrollable part of me is actually convinced to leave all doubts aside, to run up to Lavinia and just... kiss her again; one last time, like Bryony. I'm only half realizing that it would be folly. Lavinia is standing in front of me in the hall, arms crossed in front of her chest, glaring.

"And my best wishes to your wife."

Those words thankfully get me back to reality faster than I can think. At least the somewhat mysteriously elated feeling I just had is gone entirely and I'm nothing but angry again.

Totally ignoring her low blow against my situation, I pass her and leave the apartment. Strange, that this should be the second London dwelling I leave for good in ten days.


A/N: Whee! Another chapter (quite easy, when you're always two chapters in advance with the writing...)! And thanks to luna (who might be hating us now...) for the review. We so hoped someone would notice the reference :D Maybe it's pretty easy now to guess which author rareb has been practically devouring the last few weeks ;)

BTW, reading this chapter while listening to "Goodbye, my Lover" and "Tears and Rain" is definitely not a good idea. Too much James Blunt for me recently, obviously.