Author's Note: I'm baaaaaack!
Gatlinburg was great, but I'm so glad to be home! And back to writing! Brace yourself for the next two!
Character(s): Sikowitz, Tori, Robbie, Andre and his grandma, Jade, and Cat
Pairing(s): None.
December 29th, 2011
Walking out of his person shaped doorway, Erwin Sikowitz strolled over to his mirror, adjusted his top hat and smiled at himself. He was the only person he knew that could rock the whole Charles Darwin style of clothing. It was one of the many things about himself that amazed him.
Know what else amazed him? Scented pinecones. Pinecones don't naturally smell like cinnamon! What sort of witchcraft was that?
After he gave a quick pip pip and doodly doo to his mirror reflection, Sikowitz strolled out the front door of his house, his book of Christmas yodels in his hands.
You know what time it is?
Time to spread yodely Christmas cheer, that's what time it is, you goofy nugget!
The citizens of Los Angeles had better hold onto their pants.
/ /
The first house he went to was the one of the star students of his class. A certain Miss Tori Vega and her lovely, lovely cheekbones.
He rang the doorbell exactly seventeen times and began doing vocal warm ups as he waited for someone to answer the door. Most of those exercises consisted of 'me me me me meeee's and strange hacking noises. But they weren't strange to him. Nothing was.
After his last hack, somebody finally opened the door and, lucky for him, it was Tori. "Sikowitz?" Tori straightened her off the shoulder sweater and looked at her teacher in confusion. "What are you doing here? How do you know where I live? And why are you dressed like a chimney sweep?"
Instead of answering her questions, as one normally should, the balding teacher instead started belting out the yodelized version of Deck the Halls. "Yodel lay hee yodel lay hee, yodel lay dee lay-"
By the look on her face, he could just tell she was blown away. Absolutely shocked by his beautiful yodeling. That had to be it.
As he paused to take a breath, Tori oh so rudely interrupted his beautiful rendition of a classic Christmas carol. "What… Why are you… I don't even-"
"I can see you clearly enjoyed my Christmas yodeling!" Sikowitz beamed with pride at her. "Now please button your facial hole so I can finish my Christmas diddy."
Before he could start back up, she interrupted again. What up with that? "Uh, you do realize Christmas ended almost a week ago, right?"
He blinked to that. "What is your point?"
It was Tori's turn to blink in confusion. "Well, uh, it's just that… By this time, most people don't really do Christmas stuff anymore."
"They don't?"
Tori shook her head slowly. "No. They mostly get ready for the new year and try to stop shoving sugary foods down their throats."
"… Yodel lay hee, yodel-"
Hey, the door just shut. That was odd. Surely she wouldn't have just left him out there without offering him some figgy pudding!
Meh, her door must be broken.
Oh well. He could go to another student's house. Not all of their doors could be broken.
/ /
Knock knock knock! Come on out, Robbie Shapiro, so that you could have your awkward face yodeled up by your lovely improv teacher!
Sikowitz was too busy doing his vocal exercises to yell that through the locked door himself.
Somebody finally opened the door and it was thankfully Robbie. So Sikowitz immediately started his rendition of Jingle Bells before Robbie could even open his mouth to question his strange attire and the lyric folder in his hands. "Yodel lay, yodel lay, yodel lay hee lay-"
"Aw man!" Robbie groaned and looked up to the sky. "Christmas yodeling? Really, Sikowitz? You were here two weeks ago! And you came during Thanksgiving too!"
"You're welcome!" Sikowitz smiled, completely unaware of the ventriloquist's annoyance. "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is yodeling loud for all to hear! I'm pretty sure I heard that in a movie once. Either that or I made it up. I do that a lot."
"Christmas ended days ago!"
"Yes, I know. I went over that with Tori several minutes ago." Sikowitz adjusted his fancy hat and asked, "Now may I continue my yuletide yodel?"
Robbie looked as if he was trying to think of an excuse, but he turned his head back into the house. "What's that, Mom?" Sikowitz didn't hear a female voice beckon the curly haired boy. Odd. "Oh, okay, I'll be right there! Sorry Sikowitz, gotta help my mom shampoo my dad's toupee, okay see you at school bye!"
Wow, he had never seen Robbie move so fast. That toupee must have been in dire need of cleansing.
Oh well. Next house!
/ /
"Knockle doodle doo!" Sikowitz exclaimed, knocking on the door, even though there was a perfectly good doorbell right there. "I'm here to spread Christmas carols via yodeling!"
The door flew open, but the person who answered it wasn't who he was expecting. "You're not Andre."
Charlotte Harris blinked her wide eyes at the strange man before her, and that only sent her into a bigger panic than she already seemed to be in. "Why would I be Andre? I thought I was me!"
"I, well-"
"Where's Andre? Why are you looking for him? Are you from the government? I can't handle this!"
She barreled into Sikowitz, knocking him straight off his feet. As she ran off screaming and flapping her arms, Andre went racing after her, not even noticing what had stressed his grandmother out so much. "Grandma, would you stop running away every time the front door's open? There's a reason we keep it locked!"
Sikowitz sat up in the grass and, after Andre and his emotionally disturbed grandmother were out of sight, grabbed his hat.
Aww. He had it placed on his head all nice and fancy.
Maybe he should go yodel for a student that didn't have an insane relative.
/ /
The next door he rapidly rang the doorbell to was roughly thrown open, followed by a harsh "What?" coming from a very harsh Jade West.
Sleigh Ride time! "Yodel lay hee yodel lay yodel lay-"
Slam.
Maybe he should go yodel for a student that didn't hate Christmas.
Or him.
/ /
Okay, one more house. He was going to one more house of one of his beloved students. If this one ended up being another bust, which he doubted, then he was giving up. Until Valentine's Day, at least.
Speaking of Valentines…
Cat answered the door, already smiling, but her smile grew once she saw Sikowitz. He didn't give her the chance to start rambling about every single thing she had done over winter break, so he started the yodeled version of Have a Holly Jolly Christmas. "Yodel yodel, yodel lay hee, yodel lay hee yodel hee-"
Cat instantly started clapping her hands and giggling insanely as Sikowitz continued his tune, getting louder and more obnoxious as he kept going. "Yay! This is even better than when you did it on Easter!"
And that is the story of how Sikowitz got invited into Cat's house for some figgy pudding.
He knew he liked Cat for a reason.
Yodel lay hee, yodel loo.
