Chapter 29: Mercenary

So he replies, "Then how do you manage?"
I dodge a glass and apologize for collateral damage.
How does it feel to stand on the very stones that ran with your parents' blood?
Do you feel sad? Full of rage?
~Panic! At The Disco


I dropped my gun and dove to the ground, unsure of what I could do to help. I was never really trained in the art of emergency first-aid, which I was totally regretting now.

And the blood . . . I could feel myself starting to get sick from the smell. Or it could have been from the fact that the lifeblood was draining from one of the few people I cared about.

I didn't have anything on me to use to stop the blood. We both had on bullet-proof vests (and of course that bitch had to shoot him in the face), and I had left my jacket behind when we got off the chopper. I thought about using my sock or something, but that'd just be gross. I ended up tossing off my vest and using my shirt, pressing it against one of his bullet wounds as hard as I dared.

"HELP!" I screamed. I looked around frantically, but everyone was busy "detaining" some punk teenagers.

Except Devon.

He was staring at where that bitch had been standing, not moving.

"DAMMIT DEVON!" I screamed at him, "HELP ME!" I looked back down at Abe. "Gotta hold on, man," I said lowly, "You gotta hold on, someone's coming, please hold on, man." My hands were shaking. I should've shot that bitch when I had the chance. I should be chasing her and making her pay. But there's just so much fucking blood. I was going to be sick.

And Devon was standing there, staring at me like I just grew a second head.

"SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP ME!"

By that time, a pair of medics saw the growing pool of blood and rushed over. One of them practically picked me up and moved me out of the way, and I just sat there, staring at the blood on my hands.

Abe's blood.

Oh God.


They told me I was in shock. I couldn't figure out why. I've been shot, sliced, and nearly killed on a daily basis for years, and only went into shock, like, once. But now one of the bigger things during my first month back and I'm acting like someone just cut off a leg.

Someone had generously tossed a blanket over my shoulder, and had wiped most of the blood off of my hands, but I could still see the faint outline of it, and I couldn't stop staring at them.

The next few moments were a blur. Someone was shaking my shoulder.

"Jink? Wanna come in?"

I looked over and saw Kate sitting next to me. I didn't even realize that the chopper had landed. And here I was, just sitting like a lump on a log.

"He's going to be okay, you know," she said gently.

I shook my head. "I shoulda chased her, Kate," I whispered. "I could've got her."

"Don't worry – we'll get her," she assured me. "Everything will be fine."


I ran into Devon walking through the hall. I had scrubbed my hands until a layer of skin came off and found a long-sleeved shirt decent for hiding . . . yeah. He still looked as prim and proper as he did when he climbed onto the chopper.

I went up to him and punched him in the face.

I won't deny that it felt pretty damn nice to hit him.

He stumbled and fell, holding a hand to his now bleeding nose. "What the hell was that for?" he demanded.

"It was your fault," I growled. It had all clicked into place a few minutes ago, and once it did, I nearly heaved. Again. "You want Abe to die. She was just a convenient way of keeping your hands clean."

"I don't know what you mean!" he insisted, scrambling to stand up.

"We all know you're the one bandying about the idea of Abe as the anti-Christ and all that crap," I elaborated. "You didn't like him at all since that little incident. And now some chick agrees with you and pulls the trigger for you. That is why you didn't go after her, or help Abe."

By that time, we had attracted quite a crowd. And I still didn't give a fuck.

"If anyone deserved to get shot today, Devon, it'd be you," I finished.

That's probably one of the worst things I've ever said to someone. Well, scratch that – one of the worst things that I actually meant. But I said it, and there's no unsaying anything. My opinion of Devon has been tossed into the air.

"You weren't there when we went underground," Devon said. "All those creatures – that thing, and what it said-"

He got cut off by my open palm smacking his right cheek. "Devon, you keep going, I'm going to have to hurt you pretty bad."

I was actually going to say kill you, but I figured if these people heard that then they'd go get Manning. And I'm not done yet.

The look in his eyes let me know that he knew exactly what I was going to say, and he straightened. "You don't realize how things have been, Jink," he said. "You were off living a normal life, and we were here fighting. You don't even know how bad things have gotten."

"But I know that once we can't trust each other the battle's already lost," I said. "The ol' "divide and conquer" technique, right?" I stepped so I was right up in his face. "Once you lose trust in people, you turn paranoid, and then people get killed."

"What about you?" he asked. "You obviously don't trust me."

"I don't count," I countered. "I'd still save your ass even if I hated you. And I was paranoid to begin with."


"You gotta make it, Abe," I slurred. "You just gotta. We got no one left here, and it sucks."

I had liberated a six-pack of beer and had already glugged my way through half of it. Doctors had put Abe in their Mystical Water-Tube of Healing, hooked up to all these electrodes and shit, and I didn't want him to be all alone. Abe told me once about how when the Bureau first found him they put him in a tube like this and ran all these tests, and I figured, "Oh hey, if he wakes up he's gonna freak unless someone he knows is here," and I know that he'd probably prefer Kate over me but she's busy and I'm too worried to sleep.

And that thought was a total run on.

Whatever.

"You're the only good one left," I mumbled. "I'm an asshole. I can admit that. And Devon is a bigger one. And those UN jackasses need to get a life."

I sighed and leaned against the wall. I was sitting on the floor. (And yes, I was well aware that at that distance Abe probably couldn't hear me. Whatever.) It was the closest I could get to him.

"I don't think I could take it if you kicked the bucket. And they say that you won't. I want to believe them, 'cuz Kate says that you came back from the dead before, and Johann said that yes you were actually dead and you're not now, but this was too close."

A thought hit me. "You should come to my place sometime," I said. "I'll order a pizza – you don't want to see me try to cook. I'll introduce you to the family. Ben'd be happy to see you."

I wonder how Daimio would react to this. He and Abe were friends, right?

"Look, man, you just gotta pull through," I said again. "If you don't, I don't know what I'd do. 'Cuz then I'd be stuck with Devon. And then I'd kill him. Abe, if you die, I'd end up going to jail."

Though I doubt he'd care. He might be a tiny bit upset that I killed Devon, but then he'd be like, "Whatever, it's just like she left again."

Ouch. I just stung myself.

"And I know that you never really liked me all that much, but you're my friend, man, and I need you to be here. Please."

I threw the empty can to the side and popped open a new one.

"You can't give up on me now, man. You lived through all that crap to be taken down by a teenager? That's an insult.

Just don't give up. Please."


God, I hate alarm clocks. I reached out blindly and tried to find the damn thing, but all I found was bare floor.

What? I thought, Did I pass out on the kitchen floor or something? I don't remember doing that . . .

I cracked open a bleary eye and watched numbly as people rushed around. I didn't really understand what was going on. People in a science lab rushing around? What else is new? I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. (Do I need to mention I was a tiny bit hung over? I don't think so. But I was. That's a warning, boys and girls – don't drink and fall asleep. It's bad for your brain.)

Then I heard a splashing sound. Water. People talking urgently.

I heard the words stopped breathing.

Those words were never good. I jumped up, eyes wide open, and tried to take in the scene before me.

They had pulled Abe out of the Magical Water-Tube of Healing (Good Lord, I need a better name for that thing) and were preforming CPR.

I just stood and watched.

But they kept going . . .

And going . . .

And going . . . .

I think I greyed out there for a bit, because the next thing I knew they had him back in the Magic Tube of Awesome. But they were standing around muttering to themselves. Like something was still wrong.

"What happened?" I called.

One of the scientist/doctor people turned and jumped, like he just realized I had gotten here.

"How long have you been here?" he asked.

"All night . . . what's wrong?"

He looked around nervously, eyes carefully kept from mine. I knew this action – I've done it before. He's hoping that someone in greater authority can come and handle the crazy chick so he wouldn't be the one to break the bad news.

"What happened?" I demanded.

"Mr. Sapien crashed," the doctor said carefully.

My brain was still fuzzy from sleep and beer, so I said, "Crashed? Explain this to me, please."

"He stopped breathing," the doctor explained. "We managed to get it started again, but by the time we did, his brain had shut down due to lack of oxygen."

What? What? "So what's that mean?" I asked quietly.

"I'm sorry, but he's gone."


Devon was in the cafeteria, drinking coffee alone at a table next to the wall. I stalked over to him, physically picked him up by his shirt collar, and threw him to the floor.

"Murderer!" I hissed. I aimed a kick at his side, but he moved out of the way, making me land awkwardly. He managed to roll onto his hands and knees so he could stand up and get away from me. I dove after him, and even though I was a bit sluggish, I managed to grab him by his coat again and slam his head into the wall.

"What are you talking about?" he shouted. "Abe is fine!"

"ABE'S DEAD!" I shouted, slamming his head into the wall again. A sob ripped through me and I backed up from him. "He's dead," I repeated in a quieter voice.

Tears hiissssssed as they hit the floor. Devon didn't say anything. Neither did the odd-dozen of people sitting and watching.

"Are you fucking happy now?" I demanded. "Are you?"

"I-I didn't – I mean, how did he . . . the doctors said he was going to be okay!" Devon insisted.

I shook my head. "He's dead," I managed to whisper. "Dead."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"You're not," I countered. "Not yet. But you will be." I held up my hands and let the electricity start to spark. I kept my eyes on his, and watched as the fear grew. He knew that I was ready to kill him.

"Jink!"

And I was going to do it.

"Jink!"

No regrets. Not after what he'd done.

"JINK!"

A rubber-gloved hand grabbed my arm.

I looked over and saw Kate, with Manning standing behind her.

I stopped the light show. "He'd dead, Kate," I whispered hoarsely.

"I know, Jink."

"And it's Devon's fault."

"I know."

I looked around the cafeteria. People were still staring. And I never felt more tired than I felt at the moment.

"I think I'm going to go home for a bit."


I still felt like crap when I pulled up to the cabin. But hopefully the girls and Daimio were home, and they would help me feel better. Someone had to, right?

That's what I was expecting, anyways.

But I wasn't expecting a total mess once I opened the door.


DON'T GET UPSET WITH ME, MY LOVELIES, BUT THIS IS THE TRUTH.

People officially "dead" in the BPRD fandom:

-Roger
-Hellboy ( he saves the world and then gets dragged to Hell. I never cried in a comic book shop before that.)
-Abe
Sapien
-(Does Johann count, since he's dead? But he's still partying around . . . being a creeper . . .)

ALRIGHT, so . . . yeah. I would like to thank RubyDracoGirl and ZipperWhippersnapper for reviewing last chapter! Yeah! (And thank you for the wonderous comment, Zipper! I totally understand what you mean. There are days when I look back at what I wrote and I'm like, "-.- I hope no one I ever try to work for sees this . . .")

THE NEXT CHAPTER IS TO BE COMING SOON, BUT I HAVE WORK I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING NOW . . . BUT I LOVE YOU ALL.