"And that's why I need your help, Colonel." Ed explained.

"So Black Hayate is back from the dead?" Colonel Mustang asked, hands together while he sat in his office chair.

"Not so loud. Hawkeye is just next door." Ed said, quietly, urging the Colonel to do the same. "It's not really Black Hayate. It's something evil that looks like him."

"Are you sure you've got this right? Something evil that looks like a puppy?" Colonel Mustang smirked. "Or are you acting crazy to get time off work?"

"This is real, damn it." Ed said, trying to sound angry but keeping his voice down at the same time. "It said it's building a human body. But it's using this form in the meantime. I think it had access to my thoughts because… it appeared in some nightmares before it showed up in the real world."

"Do you think it's a homunculus? I think you mentioned one of the homunculi you encountered could change shape."

"No. I don't think so. No tattoo, and it didn't seem like the others. But it might be connected to them. I guess that would help explain some of the weirdness. That reminds me… any progress on the Hughes case?"

"No. Not at all. But we will bring his killer to justice. I won't rest until we do." He said, coldly. "But tell me, why have you come to me about all this? It's not like you to bore me with your personal life. It almost reminds me… of Hughes." He smiled. "He never did shut up about his family."

"I need to ask a favour. You see the fake Hayate isn't used to that body. That can help me prove it's not him. Hayate was really well trained." Ed explained.

"Tell me about it. Hawkeye spent hours teaching that dog. I should know. I dropped by quite a lot when he was adopted to make sure she was ok. She had more patience than I would have."

"That's just it. This dog hasn't been trained. It remembers the breakfast routine because I had seen it before. It had access to my thoughts when it was still in my nightmares. But it hasn't learned control over a body it's not used to. So since it's a puppy… well… it." Ed began to mumble.

"It what?" Mustang asked. "Does it bite?"

"No, no. It knows not to do that. It just…"

"Does he bark at night?"

"No. He's… quiet. He's just a… stupid, little poop machine." Ed said under his breath.

"Ouch. Hawkeye isn't going to like that." Mustang said. He knew her well. She took great pride in a tidy and orderly home.

"Exactly. Her patience is going to run out with fake Hayate, and I have a plan to get real Black Hayate back. But until then, I'm stuck cleaning up after him. So to cut a long story short, can I have a new couch?" He asked, nervously.

"A new couch?" Mustang asked, confirming he's heard correctly.

"Yeah. You know, just taken out of my research money. I'll find a good deal. Riza is pretty upset about having to replace the old couch."

Mustang spun around in his chair, facing the other way. "So you'd like me to authorise the use of state money to buy a couch to get some bonus points in her good books?"

"Starting to sound kinda jealous." Ed grumbled.

"Yes, I am." Mustang replied.

"So, do you still love her then?" Ed said. His paranoia heightening. Wit nightmare Hayate's words and Hawkeye naturally spending a lot of time with the Colonel, it was easy for him to begin to fear the worst.

"No. I made that clear before, didn't I?" Colonel Mustang replied.

"Then why do you act this way? What did I ever do to you?" Ed demanded.

"I don't love her. But… I did. It was some time ago. But I did. We talked about it. We decided it was a bad idea, and risked ruining our relationship forever. I couldn't risk that. Not for anything. She's still my rock. I wouldn't be Colonel without her, and I'm not going to be Fuhrer unless I still have her support." He explained. "But, I assumed… probably foolishly, that someday… once everything had sorted itself out and I ruled this country… that she and I would end up together."
"Quite a fantasy you got there." Ed said sarcastically. "You'd think most people could settle for just ruling the country."

"Shut up. I said I'm fine with it, didn't I? That's the end of the matter, so stop asking me about it. I'll have your couch delivered. Now get back to work." Mustang sulked.

"Thanks, Colonel." Ed said, not expecting the Colonel to permit the purchase so readily.

"I'm not doing it for you." Mustang replied.

"Oh, I just have one more favour to ask."

"Do you need a car with that as well?" Mustang replied sarcastically.

"Not quite. But I need to get put onto night shifts. Dog walking duties in the afternoon." Ed said.

"But I thought you said that was how you were proving it wasn't really Hayate."

"I can do that by getting the real Hayate back. In the meantime… I don't want Riza to be upset. So I need to walk him in the daytime so there's no mess when she gets home."

"Very thoughtful of you." Mustang replied. "At least you're keeping your promise to take care of her. But how exactly do you plan to get a dog that was eaten alive back?"

"I have a plan. It might need a little backup. But I can let you know about that once I've got the nuts and bolts figured out." Ed said.

"And night shifts. That's not going to leave you much time with Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"We still have weekends." Ed shrugged. "It might not be the practical thing, but it's the right thing."

"You're even starting to sound like her." Mustang smirked.