I'm baaaaaack! I hope you all have a fantastic 2012.
Sorry I made you all wait so long, especially considering the cliffhanger. Thank you to all the readers, especially to those of you who wrote all the amazing reviews, you will never know how much your words mean to me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer.
Chapter 29 The greatest of these is love
"JAKE YOU CAN NOT LEAVE ME, I LOVE YOU, COME BACK TO ME!" My Jake couldn't be gone; I wanted to believe this was all a bad dream. Pretend that I was going to wake up and find warm arms around me and those beautiful brown orbs looking at me lovingly. All I wanted was to hear his voice whispering sweet nothings in my ear while holding me close to him. I needed to feel the warmth emanating from his body and filling me with life, to inhale his wonderful scent which by itself was able to make me feel that regardless of the circumstances, everything was going to be fine.
But I was not asleep, this was not a bad dream, this was a nightmare with no hope of relief, I would never wake up from it. As I stared at the lifeless body of the man I loved, a desperate sob escaped my throat, a cold unrelenting pain piercing my very soul, it hurt so much and how could this be? I will never again be protected by his embrace; he will never look lovingly at me. I will never hear his voice again, damn it! how many times he told me he loved me and waited to hear the same words come out of my mouth, but I never allowed myself to give him such joy. He didn't deserve this end, he gave his life for me and I didn't deserve it. I never loved him like he needed to be loved, like he deserved to be loved. No no no no I couldn't accept this; he was the love of my life, the only one for me, my perfect mate.
"Don't you dare take him, he is mine!" I was challenging death, even death needed to know he was mine only mine. I wouldn't accept it, I couldn't accept it, I refused to let him go. Sitting next to him I started to punch his chest and scream in pain and anger. I needed to hear his heart; I needed to make his heart beat again. I frantically alternated between banging his chest and sealing his mouth with mine and breathing enough air into him to make his chest rise. I didn't know where any of my pack mates where at that moment; I was alone in the world in my desperate attempt to revive Jake.
I could see the blood flowing freely from the wound on my shoulder, it was making my hand slippery as I was pushing into Jake's chest; my blood was covering his chest mixing with his own blood teeming from his multiple injuries. The rage in my soul was boiling over as I witnessed what these monsters did. My wolf was howling in pain and anger demanding revenge, but I didn't have time to think about that, my main focus was to revive Jake.
Sam kneeled beside Jake across from me; he took over doing chest compressions while I tried to breathe life into him. I wouldn't give up, we needed to try everything, I would trade places with him if I could.
"Please baby, I beg you, come back to me, please Jake listen to my voice come back, I love you, I need you." I stopped breathing into his mouth for a few seconds to beg him to come back to me, to make him listen to my voice and follow it. I was whispering in his ear, enticing him with my warm breath like I had done many times before.
"Jake come back to me, you can do it, don't leave me please I beg you." I was so concentrated trying to help him that I missed it; I missed the most wonderful sound in the world.
"Seth stop, listen!" Sam alerted me and I stopped everything I was doing to listen. There it was! The sound of his heartbeat, it was very weak but it was there and that was all that mattered. I started kissing his cheeks and his lips, thanking him for staying with me.
"Leah says the doctor is on his way." I turned to the left to see Embry standing next to me watching us.
"We need to take him to the house; the doctor will be able to take better care of him there. Embry, phase and tell Leah to bring an old door that's in Jake's garage, we need something to carry him without aggravating his injuries."
"Paul, Jared, Brady and Quil, take these bastards to Jake's garage and keep them there until we figure out what to do with them. Put chains around their necks so they cannot risk phasing and choking to death, even though they would be doing us a favor if they did. Paul… don't kill them" Paul nodded in agreement but I could see in his eyes the hate and need for revenge.
I watched as Paul and the others left pushing along Rex and Donovan, I had to focus on Jake at that moment, because what I wanted was to break every bone of their miserable bodies and feel their flesh ripping under my teeth. I would deal with them as soon as Jake was out of danger.
"Jake, baby we're going to help you, stay strong, we need to move you and is going to hurt but the doctor is waiting for you and he will give you something to make the pain go away." I needed to comfort him, I didn't know if he could hear me, but in my heart I felt that my words would get through.
Leah arrived with the door and when I tried to stand up I was painfully reminded of my broken leg. "Ahhgh shit! My leg hurts like crazy!"
"Seth, your leg looks really bad it's twisted and the bone is almost pushing through your skin, if you put any weight on it the bone will break through. Let me and Embry carry Jake back to the house and Leah will carry you. Everything will be fine, don't worry and stay still so you don't exacerbate your injuries" Sam wanted to sound confident but I could sense the concern in his voice.
We started our slow procession towards the house. Thankfully, Jake was unconscious; at least he was not aware of his pain. Me, on the other hand, had to let out a few yelps as the pain coming from my injuries was excruciating.
As we approached Jake's house I could sense the sadness and the uncertainty that permeated the air. Billy was in the back yard waiting, worry etched deep into his face, the lines that old age formed on his face temporarily substituted with lines of pain. Emily was beside him holding his hand to comfort him. Sam carefully picked up Jake from the door to get him in the house; he took him to Billy's room because it was the only one on the main floor. Leah brought me inside and walked to the living room to place me on the sofa.
"No, I need to stay with Jake, take me to the room with him."
"Seth you're hurt, you need to stay still and rest, so your healing will pick up." Leah's voice was laced with concern, I appreciated it but I was not going to be kept apart from Jake.
"I don't care Leah, my place is beside him, take me to him now!" Surprisingly, Leah took me to the bedroom without hesitation or any argument.
She placed me on the bed next to him, the pain was unbearable but it was not half as bad as the pain I felt watching Jake lay still, covered in cuts and bruises, his legs twisted in an odd shape and his left arm broken to the point that the bone was poking through the skin. He was willing to give his life to protect me; it was the ultimate proof of his love and devotion. I felt the warm tears roll down my cheeks like the rain that constantly covered our little piece of the world.
The doctor arrived accompanied by his wife Naomi, who happened to be a nurse. When they entered the room they couldn't help the gasp that escaped their lips at the sight in front of them. The condition of Jake's body was a testament of the destructive power of evil. Dr. Barnard the reservation doctor was well aware of our existence and our secret, but nothing could've prepared him for what was in front of him. I couldn't help the growl that escaped my lips when I saw the doctor begin his assessment, in my head I knew he needed to examine Jake, but my instincts were against anybody touching what was mine.
"Seth, I need to examine Jake to assess the extent of his injuries. I'm especially worried about any internal damage and bleeding. Will you be so kind and wait in the living room please?" The doctor spoke calmly but he kept shielding his wife and fear was evident in his voice and demeanor.
"I need to be with Jake." I answered curtly, feeling my jaw tense because of all the contained aggression.
"It will only be for a little while, please Seth, we are wasting precious time." I looked at my mate and back at the doctor, he was right we were wasting time.
"Oh Seth, your leg! I was so focused on Jake that didn't notice just how hurt you are."
"Don't worry about me doc, take care of Jake."
"But Seth, if we wait too long the bone will set in the wrong place. I also need to take a look at your shoulder, the wounds look very deep."
"I said take care of Jake, his life is in danger and you're not doing anything to help him." I was very irritable and the doctor was pissing me off with his stupid bedside manner.
"Leah can you help me?" Leah came running into the room, I screamed in pain when she picked me up from the bed. The doctor gave me a concerned look before beginning to work on Jake.
She took me to the living room where Emily, Sam and Billy waited nervously. Emily had her head on Sam's shoulder and was crying inconsolably while Sam tried to comfort her. I was sitting on the sofa going over everything that happened this afternoon; it was like a horror movie that I kept playing over and over in my head. I could hear the doctor talking to his wife, he was trying to be quiet but all the wolves could hear them. He kept saying that things didn't look good and a lot of medical jargon I didn't understand. The most frequent words were shock, hypovolemic and massive trauma.
I watched as Naomi crossed the living room avoiding our eyes and without saying anything to any of us, disappearing through the front door, I was not a doctor but I knew that type of behavior was never a good sign. I remembered how frantic the staff of the hospital acted when my parents had the accident that took their lives. Mom arrived to the hospital still alive, but even though they did everything they could, she still died.
The doctor walked out of the room with a somber look etched on his face. "I'm sorry but I have to be truthful, I don't want to get your hopes up. It doesn't look good, he has massive internal injuries from being kicked and/or hit repeatedly, he has four or five broken ribs, his clavicles are also broken but those don't worry me much, they are thin bones and will heal quickly, I already aligned them and wrapped his torso. His legs are a different story. They are broken in more than one place and there is also an open fracture on his left arm. He has several deep lacerations, a concussion and has lost a lot of blood. His breathing is very shallow and his pulse is weak and erratic. This is not a good sign; if his blood pressure gets too low we could lose him. I called the hospital in Forks and they have type specific blood for Jake, he lost a lot of blood and we need to replace the volume, I sent Naomi to get it, it was faster than waiting for the hospital messenger." I could not get my mouth to work to say anything I just observed the doctor in horror stricken amazement wondering what all this meant.
Billy turned towards me, his bloodshot eyes piercing through me. "This is your fault! My son is dying because of you! Jake was happy and normal until you came into his life. Since he imprinted on you, by mistake, he changed; instead of the happy smiling kid he used to be, he changed into an aggressive, brutal stranger. I used to be proud of him, he is the alpha of the pack and the chief of this reservation but you had to change that. Now he believes he is in love with another man, do you know how embarrassing that is? My grandchildren will come out of a man; I would rather not have any grandchildren. But I shouldn't worry about this, by the look of it, my son's future is non-existent, he gave his life for you, I hope you're happy." Billy brought his hands to his face at the same time a chocked sob escaped his lips.
"Billy, with all due respect, you and your prejudices can go to hell! Jake is an amazing man, you have to be blind not to see that. That's probably your problem you're blinded by your ignorance and your hate, you hate me, I'm aware of that, you just pretended to make peace with me for your son's sake. I can't change the way you feel, but I'm not going to sit here and allow you to talk like that about him. You call our mating a mistake, I call it a blessing. Yes he is in love with another man and newsflash…. that man is in love with him too." At this admission I felt the eyes of every person in the room look at me in disbelief.
"You say you're embarrassed of him, after he was the only one to stand by your side after your daughters left you to fend for yourself. He is such an embarrassment that he has lovingly taken care of you since you were chained to that chair. You would rather not have any grandchildren than have them come out of me, well that's your loss; you're the one who will be destined to be a grumpy old man that nobody likes, while other people enjoy the company of your grandchildren. Because let me tell you something, Jake is going to get better and we're going to be very happy together, we'll get married and I'll give him children. We are happy and in love and if you can't see that, you're the one with the problem." I couldn't contain the tears of anger that pooled in my eyes, I would never allow anybody to soil Jake's name, not even his own father. Billy just wheeled himself to the kitchen and hid there.
After witnessing our exchange the doctor approached me with a calm but guarded demeanor. "Seth, I'm going to give you something for the pain, it will also help you relax."
"No doc, I heard you say that you didn't have enough pain medicine, remember I'm also a wolf we have excellent hearing. Save the medicine for Jake, I feel fine; anyway there is nothing you could give me that will make me relax, so don't even try." The doctor understood there was no chance in hell of me taking that medicine; he retreated to the bedroom where Jake was.
"How is he?" Quil and Jared came into the living from the kitchen; they probably came in through the back door. The concern in Quil's voice was very evident, regardless of how Jake felt about him, he still saw him as a friend and brother.
"Things are not looking good guys." Sam looked at me before continuing "We may lose him, his injuries are severe"
"WE WILL NOT LOSE HIM DAMN IT! Stop talking like he doesn't stand a chance! He is stronger than any of us; he is going to make it. If you don't have anything positive to say keep your fucking mouths shut." The look in Sam's face was a mix of incredulity and surprise. I was so fucking angry at Sam for even suggesting that my Jake was not going to survive.
"You two, what are you doing here? I told you to keep an eye on those bastards."
"They are sleeping, well technically they are unconscious Paul wanted a go at them and we didn't stop him, actually we helped him."
"That's ok I guess, but make sure not to get carried away and kill them." If anything happens to Jake that would be my job, to rid the earth of those pests.
"Sure Seth, no problem." Both of them kept looking at me and then at Sam, you would've thought they were in a tennis match. Quil left in the direction of the garage probably to give the others an update about Jake's condition.
"Seth can we try to put this on you, I've said this before and I'll say it again, I'm tired of looking at your dick." Leah was standing in front of me holding a pair of basketball pants. With all the commotion I didn't even realize I was still naked. Sam came over and held my leg while Leah slid the pants over my swollen appendage. It hurt like hell but they were quick and efficient, and in less than a minute I was dressed.
Nobody spoke; we were worried that if we said anything, the nightmare would become real. I lost track of time, I didn't know how much time had passed since the attack. The bite on my shoulder was halfway healed; it was still very sore but didn't bleed anymore. Naomi came back in the house carrying a small cooler with a label that read biohazard, and went directly to the bedroom.
After some time the doctor came back out "He is still in what would be considered critical condition but stable, Naomi is supervising the transfusion, she got four pints and ordered four more just in case. I gave Jake enough pain medicine to knock down a horse, so in him it will probably last one or two hours. Seth will you let me take a look at your leg now?"
"It's not necessary doc, focus on Jake, actually I have a question, if he is in critical condition shouldn't we take him to the hospital? No offense to you, but he may need more care than what you can provide here at home. "
"None taken Seth, this is a very delicate matter, if he doesn't improve in a few hours we may need to change the plan of action, but for now I will like to keep him under observation. Once we take him to the hospital the wolf will be out of the bag, literally, they will start questioning his body temperature and healing capacity. Your secret could be exposed to the whole world." This was indeed a big problem but in one thing I was very clear, the priority was to save his life, we would deal with the consequences after he was out of danger.
"Seth, I must insist. Jake is asleep with Naomi watching him. Let me take care of your leg, please."
"Ok doc, go for it" Dr. Barnard kneeled beside the sofa methodically checking the pulse in different parts of the leg, below the break, running his hand carefully over the bruised skin. I had to have several bruises from my fight with Rex; I had not been on so much pain and had so many bruises since…. It didn't matter; Jake was a much different man from that night almost three months ago. I would never forget that horrible night and neither would he, but I knew the incidents that happened that night would never repeat themselves.
"Seth, you're healing very fast, even the bite marks are almost gone. The bone attached itself and it's beginning to heal, but it's in the wrong position, I need to re-break the bone so I can align it correctly and wrap your leg." He stood up and walked towards Sam who was talking with Paul and Jared. I hadn't even noticed when Paul walked in the house, but I didn't care about him, my only concern was the better part of me, who was unconscious in Billy's room.
"I'll be right back Seth." The doctor walked back to the bedroom and Sam walked towards me followed by Jared and Paul.
"Hey little brother, the doctor told me he is going to fix your leg, make it good as new." Sam was a really bad actor; I could see the concern and worry in his eyes. I could've sworn I even smelled his fear.
The doctor came back in the room holding a syringe with a clear liquid. "Ok Seth we're going to send you to la-la land for a little while so we can fix your leg ok? This will sting for just a few seconds and you'll feel dizzy and sleepy right after, if you get nauseous let me know but don't worry, it's a very common side effect." He opened a small package that contained alcohol and started cleaning a small area on my arm.
"Wait a minute; your wife brought back more pain medicine?"
"No Seth, morphine is a controlled substance and the doctor couldn't risk losing his license by signing off so much medicine to somebody who doesn't even work there."
"Then I don't want it, save it for Jake, he needs it a lot more than I do"
"Seth, be reasonable, he has to break the bone; well, actually I will break the bone because the doctor is not strong enough. You need the medicine; I won't do it if you're awake. I can't see you suffer like that" Sam pleadingly argued with me.
"Then Paul will break my leg, he doesn't even like me anyway." I directed my gaze at Paul who was standing behind Sam and next to Jared.
"Sorry Seth, no can do, I may be a hot head and an occasional asshole but I'm not a sadist." Paul spoke matter of fact, he had no intention of helping and I knew Sam wouldn't do it either.
"Then Jared will do it." I looked at Jared who as soon as I finished speaking held his hands up and asked to leave him out of it, he had no intention of breaking my leg and risk setting off Jake's rage. At least somebody had hope that my Jake would get better, thinking of him filled me with courage and determination.
"You three listen to me right now, Sam you'll sit behind me and hold me so I don't trash around too much, Paul you'll break the bone, do it fast and right the first time, Jared, you'll hold my lower half especially my other leg. I will not take the medicine and you three will help the doctor with this, do we understand each other?" I saw the three of them flinch but the reason didn't register with me at the moment.
"Doctor, please tell Paul exactly where he needs to break the bone" The doctor looked at them confused with their willingness to torture me, and so was I, but my suffering was secondary to Jake's well-being and comfort.
Sam sat behind me with his hands around my torso, he asked me to cross my arms in front of me and grabbed the opposite hand with his and gently pulled back effectively immobilizing my upper body. Jared situated himself on the other side and held my left knee with one hand while the other went to my right leg just below the knee. Paul stood beside me listening to the doctor's instructions.
"Seth are you sure about this? I can give you half the dose, it will not make you sleep but will take the edge off." The doctor felt he needed to insist, he didn't know how stubborn I could be.
"Doc I'm not going to say it again, save it for Jake, I don't want it!" I looked directly into his eyes to assure him of my decision.
"Are you ready for this bro?" I nodded in affirmation I was terrified of the pain I was going to experience shortly but I wouldn't even consider the idea of taking something that Jake would need.
"Paul, on three you'll break it where the doctor told you" Paul placed his hands over the deep purple bruise I had on my leg, just the contact with his hand was painful, I didn't even want to think how bad it was going to be, instead concentrated on listening to Jake's breathing. "One, two, three!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!…. oh God, please tell me it's over!" the second time around the pain was ten times worse, during the fight the adrenaline helped me manage the pain but now there was absolutely nothing to help me. My vision was blurred with all the tears and I felt the throbbing pain emanating from my leg throughout my whole body.
Sam was still holding me; I thought I was trembling until I realized that the one shaking was Sam. "It's ok little brother, Paul got it, it's a clean break."
Paul ran outside and we could hear him retching, Jared, who was sweating profusely ran after Paul to check on him. The doctor proceeded to wrap my leg tightly with an elastic bandage, it was very sore and even the skin was hurting but it was over, now we could all concentrate on Jake.
I leaned back against the sofa to rest a little and Emily brought me a glass of water with some pills. "Before you say anything it's an anti-inflammatory and the doctor has plenty of these" I thanked her and took the pills.
Billy wheeled himself to where I was "How are you feeling Seth?"
"I'm ok Billy, just worried."
"Seth about what happened, for whatever its worth, I'm sorry, you are right. I'm so overtaken with grief that I lost my head and said things I didn't mean. I love my son; I'm proud of him and I know the only one with a problem is me. I promise that if… when he gets better, I'll make an effort to be more tolerant"
"Thank you Billy, it's very easy to lose our heads in situations like this. I'm sorry for disrespecting you."
Time passed slowly and Jake's condition was not improving, every person that came in the house looked like they were waiting for a blow. We were all afraid of the possibility of losing our alpha, but nobody was more worried than me. I would not only lose my alpha, I would lose my best friend and the love of my life, one that could never be replaced because once a part of your soul dies nothing could ever be the same.
Dr. Barnard called Billy to the living room to talk to us; Billy had been sitting in the kitchen by himself for hours.
"His condition is not improving fast enough; his blood pressure is dangerously low. I did an ultrasound and there is no significant bleeding from any organ; thank goodness you guys were strong enough to haul the machine in here. Surgery it's not an option at this moment, it's just that his injuries were so many and so severe that his body instead of improving, it's shutting down. He slipped into a coma and one by one his organs are shutting down, right now he is having difficulty breathing and I'm afraid it will get worse" This couldn't be happening I just misunderstood, that was it, I couldn't understand the doctor.
"What does that mean doctor? It's going to take him longer to get better than you anticipated?" I asked hopeful that his answer would be affirmative.
"No Seth, it means that Jake…. is dying."
"NO NO NO NO there has to be something you can do, don't let him die!" Because of my screams Quil and Embry came running into the house fearing the worse. Sam held Leah and Emily who were crying hysterically. My mind was a whirlwind of images as my world came crashing down on my feet.
Billy got close to me and grabbed my hands, I was numb with pain. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that only hours ago Jake was happy and healthy and now he was dying. "Seth, I never believed you were truly his mate but I need to believe it now, please go to him, if you are really his mate like everybody believes, just your touch and your proximity will help him. Please Seth, he is my only son, help my boy please." Billy's tears rolled down the deep wrinkles on his face, ending up on his lap.
"Embry, please take me to Jake, I need to be with him." He picked me up carefully and carried me to the bedroom where Jake laid on Billy's bed. His face looked ashen, the many cuts and bruises were beginning to fade, something that was surprising because they should've been gone by now. He had a blood pressure cuff on his right forearm while his left arm was tightly wrapped to his torso. His beautiful pink lips looked bluish and dry. Even with the oxygen he was being given, he was breathing fast and with difficulty.
I was determined to not allow death to claim him; this was a journey he was not going to take, not on my watch. Sitting next to him I watched him, trying to figure out what I needed to do. On instinct I placed my hand on his chest while I ran the other through his beautiful hair and talked to him.
"Jake it's me your puppy, you have to get better, fight please don't give up. Billy needs you, the pack needs you and I need you. I love you so much and now I regret not telling you before."
"Remember when you went away after the incident on the cliffs? When I went for a run and ended up finding you. You told me that you live only for me. I'm holding you up to that. You have to live, I need you to live. I can't even begin to imagine how my life would be without you by my side. We share a bond like no other; our souls are one, that's why we lost the capacity to feel emotion when we were separated." I understood now the strength of our bond, there were so many clues from the beginning but I ignored all of them.
"I've loved you for a while now; I can even tell you exactly when I realized I was in love with you. Remember our second date, when we were at the cliffs, at one point I looked at you and you looked so beautiful, your skin shimmered in the moonlight making you look mysterious and dangerous. At that moment I understood what I had been feeling but fear prevented me from accepting it. I'm sorry I never told you this, I've learned my lesson and from now on I'll tell you how much I love you, all the time."
"I'll tell you how much I love you every morning, baby all day; I'll live to love you. You'll never feel alone ever again, I'll be right beside you making you feel loved every second of your life. From now on I want us to sleep together, I want to wrap myself on your body and let your scent and your warmth lull me to sleep."
"You are a very odd individual, you know that? I've never considered myself a big deal, just a short kid with bad hair and a worse attitude. But, since day one you have been calling me beautiful, making me feel special, handsome even. You on the other hand are breathtaking, I hope you realize just how utterly magnificent you are. And still in some crazy twist of fate we ended up together. The morning after I came back to you, when I woke up I took a good look at you and almost attacked you right there. I wanted to kiss you until our lips went numb; I wanted to hear you moan as I touched your sweet spot." I kissed the tips of my pointer and middle finger and gently placed them on his bruised lips.
"If you're not here, who will love me the way only you can? Who will hold me when I have a nightmare? I know we had a very rocky beginning but that can only mean that the rest of our life is going to be fantastic, we can only go up from here. Jake, you taught me the most wonderful lesson, just how much a person is capable of changing. I feel like in the past six months I've grown and matured, but you take the trophy, your journey has been unbelievable. You treat me with respect and consideration, something I never thought possible. You are still very dominating and strong, but to tell you the truth, I like it, just don't let it go to your head, ok?"
"You live for me and from now on I promise I'll live for you too. I'm your priority and you will be mine too. No more holding back, no more doubts and no more distrust. Remember the night we went to the movies and those girls were flirting with you, I never admitted it but I was insanely jealous. Now I see you would've enjoyed hearing me admit that." I felt so much regret; it was gnawing at me like a hungry beast, taking away my peace of mind.
"Jake you have to get better, you are not done on this earth, you still have to claim me. I'm not afraid anymore. I need to trust you; your eyes were sincere when you told me you would never hurt me. Jake I swear that if you make an effort and get better, as soon as we are both strong enough we'll make love. You will have me under your body like you've dreamt so many times. I will give myself to you in body and soul, well in body because you had my soul for a long time now."
"You have to put babies inside my belly. Our pups, can you imagine? You and I running after our kids, trying to keep them out of trouble, playing with them and taking them to the beach. You know what I would like, to go to the forest and phase, only one of us in the beginning so they won't get scared, then run around with them on our backs. Feel their small hands pulling on our fur to steady themselves. I can hear them, their shrieks of joy resonating in our ears, can you hear them Jake?" I could've sworn I saw a slight twinge of a smile on his lips, but it was probably wishful thinking.
"I know you will be the best father ever, probably a little overprotective, but I'll be there to help rein you in. I already decided I want them to call me daddy and you papa, don't even suggest they call me mama because I will chew your balls off, consider yourself warned." I chuckled lightly aware that I would never hurt him physically or emotionally.
"Please baby, come back to me please, please, please."
Naomi never left the room and as I glanced at her I could see she was crying.
"Naomi why are you crying?" If she dared to say it was because of Jake's prognosis, I would kick her out of the room.
"I'm sorry Seth it's that I've never seen a person so much in love, the way you talk to him, the things you say, there is so much emotion and tenderness. Jake is a very lucky man."
"No Naomi, I'm the lucky one. Jake is one in a billion, you won't believe me when I tell you that only six months ago I hated him with every fiber of my being, now I couldn't envision my life without him. If something happens to him I will die too, there will be nothing for me to live for. He crept into my heart and made his nest right in my soul. He did so many things to woo me, some I can't tell you, others were as simple as bringing me flowers and making me my favorite foods. We can talk for hours and never get bored or run out of conversation subjects. We are two pieces of a puzzle that fit into each other perfectly." She just nodded in understanding before checking his blood pressure and pulse.
I talked to him for hours, every once in a while the doctor would come in the room to check on him. Every time I was hopeful that he would say Jake was improving, but that was never the case, he just exchanged worried looks with his wife and left the room.
The only indicator of how much time passed since the attack was the total darkness outside the window being replaced with dark daylight as the heavy rain didn't allow the sun to shine. Today was much cooler and dark; as I looked through the small window in Billy's room I saw the dull grey sky, putting a veil of obscurity over us. I watched the window as the raindrops turned to streaks that slid down towards the base. A funny and random thought came to my mind, pain rhymed with rain while fun rhymed with sun. Unfortunately yesterday had been an exception to this; it started perfect but our perfect Sunday ended up tragically.
Yesterday, like the sand on a windy day, his arms surrounded me, enclosing me in a cocoon of protection and love. I could remember every time he called me beautiful, his laughter and his love. The warmth of his heart was like a summer breeze, it made me feel happy and fulfilled. Now death was trying to take all that away from me. I prayed that this dark ominous day would not turn into the worse day of my life.
Emily and Kim came in the room to bring Naomi and me some breakfast. Naomi gracefully accepted but I couldn't. "Thank you but I'm not hungry" was my only reply, as I kept my watch over Jake. My voice surprised me when I heard how hoarse it sounded, I guessed that's what happened when you spent so many hours talking and crying.
"Seth, you should eat something, you need your strength to heal." Pleaded Kim.
"Thanks Kim, I just can't. I won't be able to eat anything until he does."
"Don't torture yourself, this is not your fault, this could've happened to any of the guys." In my mind I knew I was not responsible for the attack but a small part of me would always wonder what could I have done differently to prevent it.
I didn't pay any more attention to either woman as they left silently. Once outside I heard them airing their concerns about me with somebody. "Don't worry, if it's necessary we'll put an IV in him and give him fluids, that will at least keep him hydrated." I recognized the voice outside the door as Dr. Barnard's. He looked spent when he came in the room to check on Jake.
"Seth he is not improving, but he is not getting worse either. I'm going to leave to take Naomi home and change my clothes. I already called a colleague to cover my shift at the clinic, so I'll be back in about an hour. Please try to eat something and rest, I know you don't want to leave Jake's side, at least lay down next to him. You must be exhausted, you need to rest and get your strength back. When Jake wakes up you're going to have a very cranky mate and will need all your patience to deal with his demands." He was trying to cheer me up and I have to admit that I found very amusing the thought of a cranky Jake acting like a toddler. What he didn't know was that I would gladly take care of each and every demand with nothing but love in my heart.
"Also, judging by what I heard you promise last night, you should get a lot of rest." Naomi interjected, the doc looked at his wife inquisitively and she just gave him a look that read, that's for me to know and for you to find out. She kissed my forehead before leaving with her husband.
As the morning advanced so did the steady stream of visitors, from pack brothers to members of the tribal council. Jake was truly loved and respected in our community. I was grateful that Sam didn't allow anybody to come in the room, neither one of us was up to visitors and especially we didn't need the look of pity in their eyes.
I kept talking to him while touching his gorgeous face, some of the swelling in his face had gone down and he looked more like himself with each passing minute. I was whispering since my throat was hoarse and dry, but I couldn't stop, he needed to be reminded that he belonged with us, that he belonged with me. I felt tired and maneuvering my leg carefully so I wouldn't hit him, I laid down next to him. Placing my head next to his on the pillow I inhaled his scent, but I couldn't recognize it, his scent was different, it was mixed with sweat, blood, dirt and medicines. I hated this! I wanted to smell him, just him, just my Jake.
I felt the despair hit me like an anvil to the chest, those bastards took everything from us and they even took my Jake's scent. I hated them, I wanted to kill them, pretend they were fucking leeches and tear them limb by miserable limb. I wept bitterly with my head on the crook of Jake's neck, the heavy rainclouds in my mind letting loose their turbulent nature.
"Don't… cry." At first, I refused to acknowledge my delusion, I was sure I could hear Jake's voice. But I knew that was impossible, Jake was unconscious.
"P…uppy" Wait, what? There was only one person in the universe that called me puppy, Jake. Sitting up to look at him, I felt my face fall when I saw his eyes were closed, a chocked sob escaping my tortured throat. Leaning over I kissed him gently on the lips, when I pulled back I was sure I could see a faint smile. Was I losing my mind? Maybe this was the way my body was helping me cope with all the pain. I grabbed his free hand and prayed I was not losing my mind, that this was real.
"Jake, if you can really hear me squeeze my hand, even if it's just a little bit." Nothing, no movement.
"Please Jakey, do it for me" at this second request he squeezed my hand weakly.
"Jake baby you're coming back to me, I knew you wouldn't leave me, I love you, I love you, I'll never stop telling you!" I didn't know whether to cry or laugh, I took the hand that I was still holding and covered it in kisses while washing it with my tears. Looking back to his face I saw a solitary tear fall from his eye and wiped it with my thumb.
"You're crying, you must be in pain, I'll tell they guys to call the doctor."
"No." Just by saying this word, he stopped my voice from escaping my lips to alert the others.
"You are not in pain? Then why are you crying?"
"Happy." I understood why he was happy; I confessed my love towards him. By now everybody knew, it was about time he heard me say it.
"I'm happy too Jake, I know you are going to be just fine and we will get our forever next to each other, my love." I saw him grimace in pain and decided to call for help, he needed more pain medicine.
"Can somebody call the doctor please!" I screamed loud enough so anybody who was in the vicinity could hear me. I thought the house would fall apart with the raucous running in the hallway. Sam was the first one to walk through the door followed closely by Leah and Embry; they all looked exhausted with dark circles under their eyes.
"Seth, is everything ok?"
"More than ok Sam, he is awake, but needs more pain medicine." Sam approached us hesitantly and looked over Jake's sleeping form before looking back at me with pity and sadness in his eyes.
"Seth, look at him, he still unconscious."
"Give him a minute; he is coming in and out of consciousness." I knew they didn't believe me, but I was not crazy, Jake talked to me. I decided to prove it to them.
"Jake open your eyes a little bit, some people want to say hello."
"Believe me, he squeezed my hand and everything" Sam tried to grab Jake's hand as to prove to me that what I was describing didn't happened in reality.
"Don't touch him!" I growled at my brother, when were these people going to understand they couldn't touch what was mine.
"Seth I'm sorry, maybe you felt a twitch or someth…. I'll be darn..." I looked from my brother to Jake to see what elicited that response out of him. I felt my heart swell with joy at the sight of Jake's barely opened eyes, but he was alert and looking at me as lovingly as he always did.
"Embry go call the doctor, tell him Jake is awake and needs pain medicine!" Embry left the room immediately, I was getting spoiled, every time I opened my mouth people ran to do what I asked, this was different, good but different.
"Embry is he…" Billy's voice reached us; he was probably worried that Jake wouldn't be with us anymore after I asked for the doctor. "No Billy he is waking up, but he is in pain, he needs medicine."
"Love, do you think you can stay awake long enough so your dad can see you?" He closed his eyes and opened them slowly once, I assumed that by this he meant yes.
"Leah please tell Billy that Jake wants to see him." Leah left the room quickly and I could hear Billy's wheelchair making its way through the hallway. He wheeled himself inside the room. I sat up leaning against the headboard to allow Billy to see Jake from his chair.
"Son, I'm so happy you are awake, you had us so worried!" Billy grabbed the same hand I had been holding earlier and Jake squeezed it harder than I've seen him do it since he woke up. Tears welled in Billy's eyes but this time they were tears of joy.
"Seth you did it son, you brought him back to us." Billy took my hand and placed it on Jake's hand; I intertwined our fingers together trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape my eyes. With this simple gesture Billy was giving us his blessing, it was a shame that it took Jake almost dying to convince him we were not an accident, but everything happened exactly when it was supposed to, not one minute before or after.
"I think we should let them rest" intervened Sam and they all walked out of the bedroom.
"I do feel very tired, we should sleep baby" I slid down next to him and turned to my side to face him.
"Welcome back Jake, I love you"
Well here it is, Seth's love was strong enough to bring Jake back. Click on the rectangle that says review and let me know what you think about this chapter.
