Thursday October 13th: Week 6, Day 29
"CLASS IS IN SESSION!" Ganondorf screamed. "Now- Where the hell is Mewtwo?"
"He went off with Snake and Gainindolf on some adventure," Fox said. "They left while we were beating up bankers."
"I see… Well, I go today where yesterday was, so expecting a replacement is what should be."
"What the fuck was that?" Giga Bowser asked from the doorway. Ganondorf flipped him off before walking out the door. The class stared for a moment at the front of the room.
"Shouldn't someone be here?" Kirby asked.
"The one who cannot hold his mouth is the first to leave this world," a voice said, and suddenly Grey Fox appeared at the front of the room, no longer camouflaged. "You must learn to be silent until the enemy grows weary and makes a fault, one which shall become fatal."
"You scare me."
"I shall succeed where others have failed, and show you a true warrior's skills."
"I think I'm going to die…"
-Snake's mission-
Snake, Mewtwo and Gainindolf were all hiding inside Snake's box, sneaking through a facility. It was a very tight fit.
"Why can't I just teleport us there?" Mewtwo demanded quietly as a guard passed them.
"Because there's a chance you'll teleport me into a volcano and I'll die," Snake said.
"For the last time, none of us are trying to kill you!"
"I'M BORED!" Gainindolf roared, throwing the box off them and tearing the heads off two guards. He then proceeded to rampage through the building, leaving no survivors.
"Remind me why we didn't start by doing that," Mewtwo muttered.
Snake got in a thinking pose. "So Gainindolf responds violently to boredom… If we can harness this trait and replicate it, a bored army could be created, one that could be rivaled by no other!"
Mewtwo face palmed.
Snake snuck into a control room, planted an explosive and they all quickly escaped before it exploded in a shower to flames and bodies.
"So that was Ganondorf's mission?" Mewtwo asked.
"No, that was my morning exercise, I was all cramped up from the position I slept in last night," Snake told him. "Now we start Ganondorf's mission."
"Wait, then what did I translate?"
"The instructions on where to go to get the mission." He unfolded a piece of paper. "The mission is to go to Green Hill Zone and assassinate Sonic the Hedgehog, Ganondorf hates 3rd parties."
"You're 3rd party…" Snake covered his mouth.
"He thinks I'm 2nd party, don't screw this up for me!" Snake whispered as Gainindolf approached.
"WHO THE FUCK SET THAT BOMB?! I found more people to kill, then BOOM! All dead."
"We have to kill Sonic, so let's go," Snake said. "You two in front, I don't want any hits when I'm not looking…"
"Do you trust anyone?!" Mewtwo demanded.
Snake thought for a moment. "Well, I trust Ganondorf, Ryu Hayabusa, Captain Olimar, Emperor Ing, and Crazy Hand, but that's it. Otacon still has to prove himself by drinking that can of stuff I found in the sewers." Mewtwo and Gainindolf glanced at each other in disgust.
-Class-
Grey Fox stood at the front of the class. "At ease soldiers."
"We're tense because you just gutted Young Link," Pichu explained. Young Link's corpse fell from the ceiling fan, landing on the floor in the middle of the room.
"Should sounds come from your mouth again, not even a god will stand between the tip of my blade and your heart," Grey Fox threatened before bringing his attention to the whole class. "Ganondorf left with me a set of instructions which I will follow to swiftly deliver an education superior to others. Follow me to the field." He turned and walked out of the room, the group following him out.
They all ended up in the school yard and Grey Fox took out a sheet of paper. "These are what Ganondorf told me to do."
Marth decided to unleash a witty comment. "So-" His tiara was cut in half straight down the middle without any skin or hair damage.
"SILENCE." Grey Fox snapped, not even appearing to move.
"M-m-my tiara!" Marth fell to the ground in tears, mourning the loss until he remembered he had six more. There was much celebration before Grey Fox killed several students.
"No weird events shall take place in my presence, or they will be swiftly ended with the blade of a sword. We will now proceed to play soccer with bricks tied to your heads and feet, while using Kirby as the ball. Start."
-Mission-
The Three Stooges were hiding under a cardboard box as they entered the Green Hill Zone where Sonic resided. The fact that it was moving destroyed any subtlety. Tails walked up to them. "What is going on?"
Snake threw the box off. He grabbed Tails, snapped his neck, shoved a few buckets of C4 down his throat and threw him into a major population centre before detonating. "Nearly discovered there, problem solved."
Mewtwo floated over. "Why am I hanging out with you in the first place?"
"I threatened you at gunpoint and taped a stick of dynamite to your pet Kabutops."
"Right… I lack the memory of you removing that."
"I'm sorry for your loss."
"KILL… KILL… KILL…" Gainindolf chanted ritualistically. Mewtwo shook his head and began to search for Snake's objective, Sonic. The sooner this was done the better.
At this time, Sonic was talking on a cell phone. "I don't care about Super Smash Bros, I have better things to do than fight Link and Captain Falcon!" Pause. "The fact that I have nothing to do is beside the point! The point is that I don't want to!"
Snake peeked in his window. "Okay, my plan is to plant C4 around the entire house and detonate them at the same time," he whispered.
"Or I could just crush him into a pea with psychic powers, you know, save time…"
"DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Gainindolf tore through the wall and lunged at Sonic who screamed and dove out of the path. Gainindolf crashed into the fridge which exploded violently.
"That also works," Mewtwo pointed out as Gainindolf pulled a wall off and threw it at Sonic who ducked under it. Gainindolf roared into the air before charging Sonic who moved once again.
Snake crawled over to Mewtwo and took out a detonator. "In 15 seconds this place will be blown to pieces, let's move!"
"What are you attacking me for?!" Sonic demanded as he avoided another blow from Gainindolf.
"NO IDEA!" the ballistic father of Ganondorf said as he continued to attack.
"Big explosions aren't always the answer," Mewtwo told Snake.
"True. But in this case they are." He pressed the switch.
A large explosion was seen on the horizon. Mewtwo and Snake stared at it. "I don't think that was the right detonator." Snake agreed. "What blew up though?"
-Elsewhere-
Ganondorf, Giga Bowser, Samus, Sakurai and Captain Falcon stared at the crater where the building had been.
"It just… exploded," Sakurai said.
"I think I remember where I put most of Snake's explosives now," Ganondorf realized.
"I'M ALIVE, CAN I BE IN? PRETTY PLEASE?" Kraid asked from the rubble.
"No, you have to be with the people who replay Melee," Sakurai said. "Not to mention resizing you would be the biggest pain in gaming history."
"You resized Olimar," Giga Bowser pointed out.
"Do you want to be deleted?"
"QUIET!" Ganondorf screamed. "There survivors, I interview them!"
"I doubt people who were just in a life or death situation would have Brawl interviews on their mind," Samus said. Ganondorf scoffed at this in walked up to Sylux.
"YOU! Say qualities that would make you good for Brawl!"
"Okay!" Sylux seemed very enthusiastic. "I have a Shock Coil that I can use, and an alternate form like Samus' Morph Ball, and I have a ship, and I can hit people with my fists, and I once kicked someone and it hurt them, and my Lockjaw form can drop little electric things, and I have fighting experience, and-"
"Run on sentences PISS ME OFF!" He grabbed Sylux by the head and threw him into a nearby fountain. He turned to another person, this time it was Isaac. "SAME THING AS HIM!"
Isaac began to do some fancy stuff with his psyenergy. He made giant hands, created minor earthquakes and healed Sylux. Captain Falcon rushed to the scene.
"That was the most AWESOME display of AWESOME moves I've seen at this AWESOME convention! I can AWESOMEly declare that I want you in!"
"Let's make him an assist trophy and be done with this," Samus growled.
-Snake, Mewtwo, Gainindolf and Sonic-
Sonic had run away and Gainindolf pursued in a military jet. He launched missiles at the hedgehog who did his best to avoid the surely fatal attacks. Snake was busy searching through his stuff to find the correct detonator. "Where the hell did I throw it?!"
"They're gone, it would be pointl-"
"I don't want to hear it! AHA!" Snake pulled out the detonator and blew the house up. He turned on his codec. "This is Snake, I'm done here."
"Snake, where have you been?" Otacon asked. "We've been trying to find you for a really important mission but you haven't been anywhere!"
"I said I'm done."
-Class-
"Stop." Everyone dropped to the ground, gasping. "STAND UP." He hit the ground beside Falco with a crop. They all jumped up. "That was the most pitiful display of soccer I have seen in 16 weeks! Especially you Falco!"
"Bird plus bricks equals HARD TO DO CRAP!"
"Do not raise your voice at me." He tasered Falco in the side of the head, making the bird fall over. "Due to your immense failure, all of you are sentenced to execution courtesy of me." He took out his sword.
"HELL NO!" Sheik appeared on the scene in a poof of smoke. "I am sick and tired of healing this group, it takes up most of my spare time! I will annihilate you!"
"Bring it biotch," Grey Fox snapped, causing everyone to stare for a moment. They began a ninja fight; sword and gun vs. whip and needles. But that is a story for another day… NOT!
"Wow, Zelda's a lot faster out of a dress," Link point out. "Look at that flexibility!"
"Grey Fox has a gun in a ninja fight, that makes no sense," Kirby groaned from the ground. Pikachu sat on top of him.
Grey Fox jumped on top of his sword and did an axe kick at Sheik who grabbed him and threw him into some Giga Bowser feces. Grey Fox jumped out and turned on his camo, so Sheik followed the smell of crap and oysters to find Grey Fox hiding behind a dead tree. She threw some needles at it, covering it, thus creating the pine tree. This was later hailed as the greatest invention of all time.
"This is fun!" Sheik said.
"Indeed, the thrill of the hunt always causes my blood to rush faster."
Grey Fox turned his camo back on and ran at Sheik, knocking her down and attempting to shoot her in the head. Sheik blocked it with a single needle, like she can do to any projectile, and wrapped the chain around his neck.
Using his sword as a hacksaw, Grey Fox began to try to saw it in half. This continued for several minutes. "I'm getting bored, how about I just let you out so we can continue?"
"I would greatly appreciate it."
The battle continued, neither really advancing at all. Eventually they both ran out of their ammunition so it became close range. "No fair, you have a robotic exoskeleton while I have some cloths!"
"The better equipped possessed the upper hand."
"Then why is Marth better than Link?" Sheik questioned.
"Link's a whore," Grey Fox replied calmly.
"If you couldn't kill me in an instant I'd be so murderous right now," Link yelled from the side.
