God I love Pink.
Raise your glass!, Who Knew, Don't Leave Me, U + Ur Hand, and basically anything else that woman sings.
Taking Care
Broken Secrets
He'd seen her. Sesshoumaru hadn't meant to do it, but he'd spent all night standing at the large window in his office. All night, for hours he'd done nothing but look down on the dance-floor and main bar. And he'd seen her.
He always stood there anyways, it was the only place from which he could make sure nothing terribly illegal or unsavoury was happening in his building. The problem was that tonight it had been stupid and different and it had been different for stupid reasons. He'd been looking for her, and that just wasn't healthy.
It was not healthy for him to stand there in his office from the time the doors opened until he actually saw her, looking for a girl with black hair in a Tokyo bar. It was not healthy for Sesshoumaru to stand there and look for his ex-girlfriend, the woman with which he hadn't properly spoken to since before breaking up with her months ago. It was not healthy. There was something wrong with him when he had to keep trying to pump his friend for information he had no business needing. It wasn't right for him to stand there like that in the off-chance that his ex-girlfriend would unwittingly show up on his dance floor with his incompetent staff around her.
And then it happened. And Kagura was there.
'I will not become a stalker, I am a better man than that.' Sesshoumaru had a lot of problems in his life, but he was a better man than this. If he couldn't make himself speak to her then he had no right to keep an eye on Kagura's life, or her friends as he watched the party of five repeatedly break up and come back together as they made repeated trips to the bar. True to form, his ex had remained completely dry- something Sesshoumaru cursed himself for looking into when he pulled up the live-feed from the bar's till and saw the virgin drinks she ordered.
He shouldn't have cared, it shouldn't have been important, it wasn't something he should be looking into, it just wasn't...
And then he saw trouble. He saw an exchange that made his blood heat up and something like jealousy- but he shouldn't be jealous, there was no reason for Sesshoumaru to be jealous! -but something like it started moving through his veins. He told himself he wouldn't have left his office if he hadn't seen Kagura push the man away, he told himself that he only moved so quickly down from the second floor because he knew Goshinki wouldn't do his job and stop a rowdy patron in front of the bar. Sesshoumaru told himself whatever was necessary to keep his temper under control as he moved deftly through the crowd. He got there just in time to see the man accosting his ex go after her back.
No.
"That's enough." It didn't matter if the other man heard him or not, Sesshoumaru put himself directly in the drunk's path and could smell the alcohol on his breath, saw the flush on his face and the warped look in his eyes that signalled a popular drug combination. It made his skin crawl and hackles rise to know that that sort of activity was still going on under his roof: his floor manager had no idea how to do his job. Bloodshot red eyes came up and the man bared his teeth like an animal, but when he tried to side-step around him Sesshoumaru's hand came out and he moved again to block the advance. There were rules about touching, and they were ones he knew how to follow: even Tetseiga had suffered its drunks and wild-cards. "Enough."
"Don't you fucking touch me! Do you have any idea who the hell I am?" A filthy drug-induced slob who Sesshoumaru wasn't going to tolerate having around. "I'm Rengokuki, I fucking own this side of town!" Then he wouldn't have a problem finding someplace else to spend the night.
The string of profanity that followed was not worth repeating, but Sesshoumaru still felt his temper flash before the man in front of him dropped his shoulders and lunged to tackle him.
Idiot.
You didn't get into the night-life business without knowing how to physically handle your own. Being down one arm was no excuse for Sesshoumaru not to know how to defend himself. Drunks were irrational, they attacked in the most blunt and obvious manner. You couldn't pound them in the chest or shoulder, or try to get into their head: an angry drunk wouldn't feel pain if you hit them. But they couldn't keep their balance either if you threw them off, and that was rarely hard to do as long as you stayed calm.
Sesshoumaru had three choices: he could physically trip the man, he could draw the taser at his belt, but before he ever got there he'd already decided he felt like using his fist instead. There was just so much more satisfaction in having his hand smart from a blow to the temple than in pressing the little button on the Souryuuha Co. electroshock weapon. And it was more direct than dancing around an idiot who wasn't worth building up a sweat over.
Two of his bouncers, both hopelessly late on the scene, were given the task of throwing out the dead-beat, Sesshoumaru stopping one of them with a look and giving a very serious warning in a low voice.
"Tell Moryomaru that if I have to clean up one more mess on the floor tonight, he'd better look for another job." Because he was sick of this, because Sesshoumaru was so fed up with this being his life and becoming his reputation. It was disgraceful.
He didn't even know what Kagura would think of it, convinced she wouldn't even be there when he looked around and-
She was still there.
She was staring at him.
She was standing in a huddle of women Sesshoumaru knew, people he'd hired to work at the Tetseiga before it had passed to Inuyasha. They were women who knew him and who were staring with wide eyes- Yura's jaw was slack and Hari had a hand up over her mouth. When Kagura dropped her eyes he wasn't sure what that meant, it didn't hurt, he just didn't know what it was supposed to say.
Maybe it said nothing at all.
Sesshoumaru went back to his office. He wasn't going to make small-talk here, not in this noise and surrounded by the smell of illegal sex and spilled alcohol. How the hell could he even claim this place as his living, his sole source of income? How had he gone from Tetseiga to Tokijin? It was disgusting.
Most places got by with a velvet rope to keep people from wandering where they weren't supposed to go, but that didn't work in the Tokijin. What looked like a section of a metal fence (probably because it was an old length of chain-link) with a matching door was bolted to the walls and ceiling, cutting off the gangway that led up along the wall to his second-floor office. A bouncer who was only a little less incompetent than the men outside stood guard to make sure no idiots tried to climb the fencing, and swung the metal gate open so Sesshoumaru could pass through unhindered. He heard it rattle shut and continued taking long strides to get away from the pulsating sound. He needed to get away from the noise.
He was just reaching for the key to let him back inside the office when he felt his cell begin to jump and rock in his pocket. Sesshoumaru pulled the device out instead and checked the name in the dim light.
Kagura? It was eerie, seeing her name where he'd been hoping it would be for weeks. But she was calling him from inside the club, there was no way either of them could talk in here. Calling him meant-
Opening the phone to pick up the call, Sesshoumaru turned and went back down the gangway. He didn't hold the cell to his ear because there was no point. Sure enough, Kagura was standing outside the fence and door, her phone held the same way by her hip as she looked up and saw him through the chain links.
"Let her in." He had to repeat himself because the man on the other side of the door didn't understand him, Sesshoumaru opening the gate himself because it wasn't worth the effort to explain. Kagura had shut her phone and stood there with her arms folded, lips pursed watching the futile exchange before she moved awkwardly through the barrier to him.
"You hired him?" In the flashing lights and the loud noise there was almost no sensation except for sight, Kagura's hair pulled up high behind her head as she headed awkwardly up the gangway- there wasn't enough room for them to walk next to one another.
"I hired Jakotsu too." Sesshoumaru didn't know where the words came from, half-deaf as he was it was hard enough to hear her comment, but he answered as if there was no reason not to. He watched Kagura rub the back of her neck before they reached the wide platform that led to his office, Sesshoumaru drawing the key out and working the stiff lock open.
One of the few full renovations to take place before Tokijin was unexpectedly opened was the sound-proofing in his office. The windowed booth was protected from the extreme sounds of the club, the base still pounding through the floors and walls, but the actual volume was locked out. Kagura didn't turn to look at him as they moved inside the dim space, but he saw her pause once he closed the door, her ears no-doubt ringing from the sudden drop in noise. There were red and blue lights on in the ceiling for light, it was for their eyes: red light didn't cause pupils to dilate, he could look from his work to the club floor without needing five minutes for his eyes to adjust. White light was used during the day, not during club hours.
Silence was awkward after the blaring noise downstairs. Sesshoumaru just went straight to his desk and checked his phone again, wiping his thumb over the screen like it would do something to the display. He glanced behind him and saw Kagura looking out the office window, down at the pulsating dance floor. Looking back down he pulled out the earplugs that were necessary for him wear, too many nights spent continuously in the extreme noise would kill his ears before he was thirty.
They weren't saying anything, but this could not happen a second time. She'd followed him this time, it wasn't him pursuing her again. There had to be a reason for that, didn't there? And it had to mean that Kagura was the one who had to try and say something first this time, but things weren't working that way. The silence just kept growing. Not again. There had to be something to say, something he could manage without losing face. Something. Anything. Say it.
If she walked away again, would that really be better than refusing to speak first?
"Did Tetseiga ever look like this?" A different set of words had been forming in his throat, but Kagura spoke first and changed things. He didn't know what he was doing at his desk, but it wasn't productive and he still couldn't turn around. "When it started out?"
"No." An honest answer. "It was nothing like this." Tetseiga had never been filthy on the inside, the staff had been incompetent until they were properly trained and their boss had learned how to actually run the place. It had taken time to establish a frame-work, but there had been time and money to invest into making things work. Effort had been put into getting the right people into the right places so they could do their jobs with minimal conflicts and chaos.
Tokijin still lacked money, was wasting time, and none of the staff trusted or worked well enough to begin pulling together yet. Kaijinbo had been left alone and caused too much damage while Sesshoumaru was down after his accident. Staff loyalties had been to that snake, not Sesshoumaru, and every time he tried to purge the cancer the bitterness just infected a new generation of staff. He couldn't fire everyone and remain open the seven nights a week he still needed to keep the place afloat.
"Thanks..." She sounded nervous, uncomfortable. Sesshoumaru tossed his phone down onto the desk since there was no point in continuing to hold onto it. He pulled his hand back until it was resting on his waist, elbow back as he tried to think. "...for getting rid of that guy. He was pretty-"
"-typical." He cut in, hating the sound of their voices discussing the club around them. He didn't want to talk about this, he didn't want it, but as Sesshoumaru forced his words to form this all felt like something he had to get through- with her. "He's typical for Tokijin." Bitter, bitter words. "It's not my best work."
Walking around his desk was a distraction, something for him to do before Sesshoumaru settled into his chair and wheeled up closer to the steel edge. He couldn't be in his office and not work, not if he had to discuss this in here.
"How can you tolerate that?" Sesshoumaru looked up from a series of numbers sitting on a printed page in front of him. His eyes taking the new distraction before he saw Kagura standing in front of the desk across from him. Her bare arms were folded in front of her, hair twisted up behind her head in its usual do and the sound of one tapping foot reaching his ears. Her eyes were sharp and a deep, dark crimson in the red light. "I mean you:" She pulled one hand free and gestured at him, fingers floating through the humming air. "-Sesshoumaru, you barely tolerate having an automatic car, how can you be okay with what goes on down there?"
"I'm not okay with it." Even to his own ears he sounded defensive, too on guard for her to ignore it. In fact as soon as the words were spoken Sesshoumaru watched Kagura take a half-step back and rest her weight on her back leg, arms folded again and red eyes looking down on him.
"Well this place has been open for months." She challenged, and he found himself starting to wrestle with his temper. "So why haven't you fixed the problems yet?"
"I'm waiting." He snapped the words back at her, Kagura's gaze narrowing but he didn't care how impressive or frightening she thought herself. She couldn't use this awkward place in their relationship as a platform from which to attack his business skills.
"Waiting for what?" She was not going to get away with- "There's broken glass and pot smoke filling the-"
"What were you waiting for, Kagura?" Sesshoumaru didn't raise his voice, he was too strong a person to go shouting to get his point across. He interrupted her without touching the volume, Kagura's mouth snapping shut as she pinched her dark lips tightly. "Don't insult me." He went back to what he'd been doing.
"Oh- don't you even." Don't what? Sesshoumaru couldn't read the information in front of him, but he had his pen and kept his eyes trained on the page, refusing to acknowledge her as Kagura stormed around his desk. "Don't even pretend to be the injured party here! You walked away!"
She kicked the side of his chair to get his attention, Sesshoumaru pressing his feet down on the smooth floor as the wheels under him spun and pulled him around. He ended up turning to face her, tossing the pen down over the paperwork before he stood up again. No, he wasn't just going to sit there and let Kagura loom over him. He wasn't going to let her talk down to him, there was no way he would give the woman that much satisfaction.
"Yes, because I obviously wasn't getting anywhere with you." He hissed, then watched her choke at him, as if she should be surprised. "You had weeks to say something. Weeks to tell me anything, and you locked me out instead."
"And all the while your power's being cut and you put your house on the market-" She accused, her voice louder than his but her short stature not helping build the argument. "-don't act like I was the only one keeping secrets!"
Now what?
Sesshoumaru felt himself still standing there, stiff and tense with Kagura directly in front of him, but his anger had already peaked and was dropping. This wasn't going to turn into a screaming match, he didn't know why, but as much as part of him wanted to be bull-headed and deny his role, the rest of him didn't. And neither did she, because Kagura's hateful expression had already mellowed into a look of tempered disdain. In fact, even as they watched each other she drew one red lip into her mouth and bit it. Her eyes slowly fell from his until she was looking straight at him, or straight through him, he wasn't sure. So Sesshoumaru spoke first.
"We both kept secrets."
"It's what people do." She argued, looking back up at him. But he didn't disagree with her, Sesshoumaru catching his hand just before it could rise up and try to touch her. He didn't want to do that- well he did, but not yet.
"So what do we do?" He asked. Kagura kept watching him and he watched her mouth hang open, no words making their way out as she tried to speak but couldn't get them out. The look in her eyes told him to wait, that she was trying.
"We..." She repeated, looking down again a little and shuffling her feet like she wanted to move but she didn't know where to. When she managed the rest her voice was soft, caught in the back of her throat like the skin was raw. "My brother, he likes that word: we." A very uncertain smile tugged on her lips before Kagura let it fall, shifting her weight again and staring at his shoulder as if there were answers stitched onto his shirt for her to read. Then she turned a little and leaned on his desk, hopping up a little to sit on it.
Sesshoumaru didn't stop her.
"I have three brothers." She continued, bowing her head before looking back up at him, hands hanging between her bare knees and fingertips tapping together. She didn't look like she was going to cry, but he knew her well enough to recognize that Kagura was upset. "One just sort of... came out of nowhere a few months ago but... the other two, they're just fifteen and one." Sesshoumaru knew this, he'd heard it from Byakuya: Hakudoshi was the fifteen year old, he had an attitude problem or something like. The infant was just a baby, there wasn't much that could be said about him- Sesshoumaru didn't even know his name, and Kagura didn't share it with him now. Kanna was the little girl he'd met once, she was twelve.
Just thinking through this made Sesshoumaru miss part of what Kagura said next: repeating what he already knew about the sister. Then:
"My whole life is work and diapers, Sesshoumaru, so no, I didn't tell you." He listened to her, then moved so he could lean back on his desk the same way she was, Kagura to his right where her hands were hanging in her lap, but his fingers didn't stray towards hers. Not yet.
His eyes found the ceiling for a moment, and in that pause he found himself feeling claustrophobic again. It didn't happen very often, only when he was anxious and the stress was at its worst, closing in on him on all sides like he was being smothered in the sick grey walls and taunted by the window looking down onto the floor. Of the three doors in this room, one led out onto a stretch of roof over the street, and that was where he found himself wanting to escape right now. But he had to wait first, they would escape, but before that could happen...
"...I'm broke." If he'd uttered those words in the presence of his mother, or his half-brother, Sesshoumaru didn't doubt that he'd be obligated to kill them afterwards. If he'd ever spoken so frankly with Jaken, Sesshoumaru would lose his mind along with his pride and self-respect. If Jakotsu or Byakuya heard him say that he, Sesshoumaru Inu-Taishou, the man who'd made his first hundred-million yen before turning twenty-five, was out of money, he'd never be able to look either of his friends in the eye ever again.
"...How broke?" But Kagura just slipped her hand into his and scooted a little closer to him, allowing Sesshoumaru to drop his voice a little lower, like he could keep the walls from hearing, or the digital clock behind them from breaking the secret. She rested her other palm over his bicep and he felt her head settle against his shoulder. She was so warm...
"If I can keep Tokijin open for another six months, then I can make it." He explained quietly, spoke the words he'd only been able to say to himself for over a year now. Once this place survived its first year then he'd have paid down enough of the outstanding debts that had surrounded Tokijin's rushed opening. From the sound system to the drink nozzles to the flooring on which his patrons danced, none of it was more than half paid for yet. He just needed another six months, but he... "But if I close the doors, even for just the week or two I'd need to properly fix what's wrong, I'll lose everything." He had no more credit, Sesshoumaru had no more power to borrow or invest, no more trust to navigate fees or extend deadlines.
"...I've never seen you this upset before." He had every reason to be upset. Sesshoumaru was fighting to keep it off his face, his mouth a straight line and his eyes trained relentlessly on the filing cabinet in front of him. "I get why you didn't tell me." He kept himself under control as he felt Kagura stand up, her touch leaving his arm as she stood in front of him, blocking his view of the spot where he'd been focusing.
She was smiling. Sadly.
"You leaving?" He asked, the words coming out softer than he'd meant them. It didn't feel like a mistake when her hands came up and spread back over his cheeks, holding his face as her thumb brushed over his scars. It was hard to keep his eyes open as he picked up the scent of her so close to him, Kagura leaning in before she answered him.
"Yeah..." No, but her lips settled over his before he could voice an argument. In fact he forgot what he'd been about to say, not because Kagura went out of her way to blow his mind, but because she was there at all. Sesshoumaru didn't even care about the taste of her lipstick, which was usually the only bad thing about being this close to her. Kagura didn't drag him to his feet or shove him down over the desk, her body leaning against his chest as his arm wrapped around her back and just stayed like that, not daring enough to move around or explore.
It wasn't their first kiss, the one that had been awkward and interrupted by her laughing. It wasn't their last kiss, that had been flirty and tired and sensual all at the same time. It wasn't any of the other kisses in the middle either, this kiss was different.
Because it acted like a question and it felt like an apology, a promise and a warning mixing awkwardly together as their lips came apart and he let his forehead rest against hers, the two of them nose-to-nose in the red light.
"Yeah, it's enough." She said quietly, her eyes closed in front of him as he felt her hands slide away, one resting on his shoulder while her fingertips brushed over his lips carefully. "For tonight, it... it's enough." For tonight...
"I'll call." He murmured, his hand slipping from around her back, arm pulling away as he watched her nod and then pull her purse around from where it had been slung over her shoulder. He recognized it, the black clutch with the long chain strap, he'd seen it before on dates they'd had.
"You will." She answered, sticking her fingers into the narrow bag before drawing out something small, round, and framed in pink plastic. It was a child's mirror, cracked and useless. "And you won't forget."
If anyone else made a move to touch his lame arm, Sesshoumaru would be hard-pressed not to do something about it. But Kagura laid a hand over his numb wrist and he felt the weight of the limb shift before she slid the plastic piece down into the sling. Once she was done he felt her tug on his jacket so it fell properly over the arm, obscuring all but his hand. She'd done things like that before: picked spots of lint off his sleeves or straightened his tie if he wore one, made sure he looked good in her eyes so long as they weren't already out in public when she saw something wrong.
'... Those children are lucky.'
"Call me?" This time Sesshoumaru stood up and he kissed her. It wasn't necessary, it wasn't as scared and tender as the one before. He could have chosen not to do it, to stay where he was and let her leave his office without another word, but that was the point. He chose to do something. To do anything. He did the right thing. "I'm free, so anytime..."
"Tomorrow." Tomorrow he would call Kagura, or later today, whatever day it was. Tomorrow he would call her. Tomorrow he would talk to her again.
Sesshoumaru would have Kagura back again.
After talking to Sesshoumaru, Kagura hadn't gone back to dancing. Her cell had been buzzing almost constantly the entire time she was up in his office, texts and calls from her friends that all boiled down to: 'what's he saying?'. When she came back down onto the floor she made a bee-line for the ladies room, hanging out there until her friends burst into the dimly lit space, Yura and Hari both going batty trying to ask questions and gossip and exclaim all at the same time.
She promised to tell them everything at work, so despite their protests she got herself into a cab with Abi who just wanted to be dropped off at a certain train station that was close to her apartment. The red head accepted her wish for quiet, Kagura torn between several different emotions and a bone-deep weariness that needed sleep.
When she got home that night- err, morning, she found an interesting surprise sitting on her bed, but it had to wait a bit.
The townhouse was big enough that the sound of her unlocking the door hadn't woken anyone up (that she knew of), and with her room on the ground floor there were no bedrooms to tip-toe past on her way to shower and sleep. She loved this place more and more as the weeks passed, almost coming to enjoy the paint fumes from the new pale rose pigment on her bedroom walls.
And right, that surprise. She hadn't noticed it when she ducked into her room past the sleeping infant and grabbed a change of night clothes and a towel, but once her nightly grooming was complete, Kagura came back and found an envelope from Byakuya resting on one of her pillows. Between the two of them her brothers had splurged behind her back and brought home a double bed for her one Friday night, so she almost missed the letter in her hurry to crawl into bed and dream about a certain silver-haired man...
"Dear Little Sister"- A very Byakuya-ish way of starting, though Kagura also noticed the various folds on the paper sheet between her hands.
"Since I probably won't see you again until Saturday, I wrote you a letter, aren't I clever? Actually I am, wait until you hear this:
I found out why Kanna hates me! Hakudoshi and I were both put to sorry shame by her impeccable powers of logic, so you'll probably hear the story from him again in the morning. But I digress.
As you and I both know, Kagura, I am three years your senior. However, at the age of nine I was removed from our happy family life, at which point you were six and our three beloved half-siblings not yet nightmarishly twinkling in the evil eyes of our diabolical father. At this point, Kanna states you became the eldest in the household and I consider this a sound deduction. After you came Hakudoshi, who is now fifteen (almost sixteen actually, but I'll save that for another letter), then Kanna herself, and then-"
Here, the letter was a mess of scribbles, several attempts to put the infant's name into writing botched and eventually given up on by Byakuya's pen.
"-the baby, who is now a year and change. And then there was my return a few month ago.
Kanna has ruefully pointed out that I am in fact the newest member to our little family! Now, I have tenuously agreed with her that it is difficult to presume, given her summation of events, that I should claim the interceding sixteen years as time spent as your (collectively speaking) brother. However, I don't see a reason why I should be forced to surrender my previous nine years.
By my count, the household ranking, based on ages, should go as follows:
You (22),
Hakudoshi (15),
Kanna (12),
Me (9),
Baby (1).
But Kanna would prefer I begin all over again, counting for me from December and assigning me a new birth-date on either 9th or 10th. She has stated that if I do not give due respect to both of my older brothers serious actions may be taken against me.
Kagura.
What does she mean by serious actions? Should I be concerned?
-Bya."
Snickering to herself, Kagura idly followed the creases in the paper until she had a little crane in her hands. Pulling a pen out of her backpack, she scribbled a short note across the crane's wings, climbing out of her soft bed and padding into the kitchen to leave the bird on the counter where he'd be sure to find it.
"She means serious actions. Be very worried."
And then it was back into bed, with several hours of incredibly pleasant dreams to follow.
I had an AN here that was about characterization, but I don't feel the same way now that I've read it again.
Review if you read! Yay for 50 reviews!
Lemme know what you think?
