Holy Fudge!
Wow, I did not expect so many reviews! Not to mention, hurray we made it to the 400's! I love you guys so much words can't explain, and all I can really say is...buckle up, because the adventure's only getting started!
Thank you to all my lovely reviewers; Lunarburst23, Graceful-But-Forgetful-Writer, lizy2000, JessieBWriting, TatteredAngel42, icanhascamaro, BIackrose13, Bee4ever, AutobotCopperShadow, The Silvernote, xVentressx, Animekitten99, Xarine, mostly a reader fangirl99, Wicken25, HTTYDTF For Life, jgoss, wolfimus prime, Guest, KayleeChiara, Guest (Charlie ends up with both of them), 99luftballonsx.o.x, Jasperhaleslover, SapphireSpark, AquaJinx, Tri-Gemini Prime, AgentCheesecake and CastieLunaWinchester! You guys just don't know how much you really mean to me!
Oh, and a little side note. I went and changed a few things from a couple of chapters. For those who have recently started reading, it probably won't matter to you because you already know. But for those who have been with me for a while, and read the chapters 22 and up when they first came out, it will matter a bit. The Decepticon who went after Charlie, his optics were purple. Also, those eyes that she keeps seeing in her strange dreams are purple. I've rewritten those parts a bit, and it might not makes sense now, but it definitely will later on.
Now that I'm done writing the this long Author's note, I give you, chapter 29!
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Bittersweet
His lips were surprisingly warm, but very still. His holoform's whole body had stiffened, before strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to his warm chest. His lips melted against mine, in perfect sync. For the moment, I couldn't think of anything; no pain, sadness, agony, or fear. And I relished in it. I wrapped my arms around his neck like a lifeline, and pulled him as close as it was physically possible. The kiss deepened, and I shivered from the waves of pleasure racing through my body. My hands were buried in his curly locks, stroking them softly, while his hands traveled up my waist. Wherever his hands touched left trails of heat, and the less rational side of me was screaming more. And then the rational side kicked in, just as he hiked one of my legs around his waist.
This wasn't right...I need to stop.
Right now.
My eyes snapped open, and I pulled away from him abruptly. All that could be heard was our heavy breathing as we both panted, trying to process what the hell just happened. And when it did finally dawned in on me, my eyes widened in horror and embarrassment.
No...
I already just found out I lost my dad. I couldn't lose him too.
His dark cobalt eyes met mine, and I wondered just how badly I screwed up. Heat of shock and embarrassment lit up my face, and all I wanted to do was cry again.
"I'm sorry!" I screamed at him.
And then I ran again.
Sunstreaker didn't return back to the apartment, and I was actually relieved. I had curled up on the couch with a throw pillow, gazing absentmindedly at the TV. My eyes were puffy, and my cheeks were blotchy. All I could think about was how badly I screwed up, because I screwed up bad. We were getting along so well. I thought that maybe, I could finally convince him to hate me less, and that humans weren't as bad as he thinks. That maybe, we could co-exist peacefully with Sideswipe, and perhaps even become friends. That maybe, separating us from the people we cared about would bring us closer.
But then, I had to go and ruin everything. I couldn't get control of my emotions, and I raged at him, and then...kissed him. I took advantage of him, and now he probably hates me again. There's no hope for Sideswipe now.
Oh, Sideswipe...
A silent tear rolled down my cheek, and dropped on to the throw pillow. I missed him so much. The pang in my heart swelled, and I brought my legs closer to my body, burrying my face into my legs. My heart lurched again at the thought of him, and it left a bitter feeling in my stomach.
"Charlie?" A familiar voice asked.
I looked up to see my mother standing there in a robe, her tired eye wide with worry and relief.
"Mom," I whimpered, feeling another tear roll down my eyes, "It hurts so much."
She sat down next to me, wrapping an arm around me to bring me closer, and I didn't protest. I just stayed silent, staring at the blank TV. She kissed my forehead softly, wiping the tear stain from my cheek. Her sweet lilac scent invaded my nostrils, and I took a deep breath. It seemed to settle my pounding heart, and ease the pain just a little bit.
"I'm so sorry Charlie," She whispered softly, holding me tightly, "I'm so sorry..."
I couldn't bring myself to say anything, and for a while we sat in silence, just taking comfort from each other. It was going to be hard without my father. It was going to be hard to never hear his laughs, his jokes, or his hugs full of warmth and love. It was going to be hard to look at another car, and think about how my dad was the reason I wanted to become a mechanic. It was going to be painstakingly hard, but my thoughts weren't about my dad.
They were about Sunstreaker.
"Mom," I spoke up, about thirty minutes later, and I craned my neck to look up at her, "Can I tell you something?"
She nodded, a small smile on her lips, "You can tell me anything, sweetheart."
I bit my lip, looking back down at the pillow in my arms, not sure how to word this. My mother stroked my hair softly, and I couldn't help but lean in to the touch. I let out a deep sigh, and closed my eyes. "I have a friend, from the place I was before I came back to Kennewick. Her name is Jenna."
"Mhmm." My mother hummed softly.
"And there was this other person, he's...not really friendly. For a long time they were at odds with each other for a long time. He didn't like the fact that Jenna was always hanging out with his brother, because they were good friends. Something brought them together though, it separated them from the people that they loved." My mother looked down at me with a questioning eyebrow, but I continued, "And they got along, they even became close. He stopped hating her, because without his brother, he was broken. And she stopped being afraid of him, because she realized he needed her help. They were both broken, and together they healed each other. Jenna was so happy that she finally had gotten through to him. She was so sure that when they returned to his brother, they could all be happy. But then...a tragedy happened, and she lost control. She couldn't help it, she'd been under a lot of stress, and she ended up doing something she regretted. She kissed him..." I sighed, "Used him, took advantage over him because she wanted to feel something other than the burning pain." My mother pulled me closer, wiping another tear that dropped from my cheek.
"But now, she doesn't even know what's going to happen next. She doesn't know if he hates her or not, but she could accept it. Even if the thought of him hating her again would kill her. Because she cares for him, a lot. She cares for him so much that she would give her own life for him, just like she would for his brother. She...she's not sure what to do anymore." I looked to my mother, "What should she do?"
"It sounds like," My mother answered, "That she loves him. And if that is the case, then there isn't a reason she should run from it. She can embrace it."
"It's not that easy," I replied, "There's so many complications that comes with it."
"Like what?"
"Her and him...they're different. Not the same race."
My mother's eyes narrowed slightly, "That should never be a reason to not love someone, Charlie. Love is a powerful thing, and it has no boundaries. If there's one thing that you learn, it's that there's a lot of wicked and darkness in this world, but there's also good to combat the darkness. It remains a perfect balance, because there is light. Love is that light, and it can withstand any and everything." She paused for a moment, glancing at something far away before her eyes darted back to me. "Do you love Santiago?"
My eyes widened, and my heart quickened in my chest. "How did you-"
"It's not that hard, Charlie, "She chuckled softly, "I'm your mother, remember? I can clearly see that this Jenna person is you, and that 'him' you refer to must be Santiago. Throughout your story, there was so many characteristics that I noticed represented you. And I know that only you could care so much about a person that you would put your life down for them without a second's thought. It's something you and your father had in common."
I smiled softly, even if my heart had sank a little at the mention of him.
"Do you love him, Charlie?" She asked softly.
I frowned, looking away, "I don't know, mom."
"Your heart will tell you soon enough." She said with a small smile.
"Why do you want me to love him?" I asked, looking back at her.
"I don't want to force you, I just want you to be happy. Especially at a time like this." She leaned forward and kissed my forehead again, "Are you going to be okay tonight? Do you want me to sleep with you?"
I shook my head softly, "I'll be fine. Goodnight mom."
"Goodnight sweetie, I love you."
"I love you too." I said, laying across the couch as she stood up to leave. For once, I didn't feel like I was going to burst into tears. Instead, I drifted off into sleep.
I was running.
Left and right, twisting and turning down dark, eerie hallways while icy winds whipped around me, chilling me to the bone. I was barefoot, my heart was pounding as I panted for a breath. I turned around a corner, still running and screaming. Voice whispered in my ear, some told me to run as fast as I could, and other told me it was already too late. Dark chuckles echoed around the empty halls, and it reverberated in my skull. I grunted, my hands digging into my hair, trying to stop the laughter.
It was everywhere, and it was deafening.
I turned around another corner, and stopped when I realized it was a dead end.
"No!" I wailed, crying as I pounded my fists against the wall, "No, please!"
The laughter was coming closer, and growing stronger.
"No! No, let me out!" I screamed.
Those eyes appeared again, coming off of the wall, and I staggered away in shock. I tripped over my own foot, landing harshly on my back. But the pain wasn't even registered as I stared into those amethyst eyes. My mind screamed at me to run away, but I couldn't. My body felt paralyzed, and I couldn't even get myself off of the ground. I cried out in pain as something searing touched my stomach. White-hot pain flashed in my eyes, and I was hunched over on my hands and knees, heaving for breath.
I stared in horror at the horns that were carved into my skin, still gleaming with my blood. Nausea swarmed in my head, and I felt like I was going to through up. My knees gave out and I collapsed back onto my back, staring up at the inky black ceiling. The laughter became ear-splitting.
My eyelids became heavy, and the world around me started to melt.
"Sideswipe," I found myself whispering, more like wheezing, against the laughter, "Sunstreaker..."
The room was getting heavier.
"Please," My head lolled to one side, "Help...me."
My eyes snapped open, and I jolted upright again. I took deep breaths to get my heart to stop pounding in my ears, my body was slick with sweat. My arms were shaking as I wrapped them around myself, trying to stop the shivers. What is happening to me? Why does this keep happening to me?
"Charlie?" I looked up at, and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Sunstreaker standing there in his holoform.
"Sunstreaker..." I trailed off shaking my head, "What are you doing here?" I honestly thought he would've left by now.
Susntreaker stood there for a moment, looking unsure and very conflicted. My heart lurched at the sight, knowing that I was probably the cause of his distress.
"You called me." He answered.
My eyebrows scrunched up in confusion, "No I didn't. I was asleep." Having a horrible nightmare.
"You called me Charlie...on the commlink." He elaborated.
My eyes widened, "What?"
"I...I don't know how to explain it. One moment I was recharging with the little glitch in my passenger's seat, and because I have my commlink on at all time, we were both awakened. It was your voice, and you were screaming at first...and then you called out to Sideswipe and I. You said you needed us to help you. You sounded hysterical, and then broken. Quickshift's was worried about you..." He looked away, "And so was I."
I just stared at him, speechless.
"Charlie, I want to apologize for-"
I didn't even listen. I just wrapped my arms around his neck, and held him close. For what felt like the thousandth time tonight, I cried. His arms reluctantly wrapped around my waist as I cried, and then he just held me there on the couch. He didn't try to whisper false-hopes like telling me everything was going to be okay. Because it wasn't going to be okay, and we both knew it.
"You should hate me," I muttered when the tears subsided, "You should hate me for treating you like that."
"I don't hate you." He muttered.
I nodded, leaning my head against his shoulder. "I want to go back with you."
"You don't want to stay with your family?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"This maybe my family, but it's not my home. I miss him so much."
Sunstreaker bowed his head, "I do too."
Yay, finally the chapter's out! Anyone curious as to who those eyes might resemble? On another note, who's excited for T5? I think the trailer's supposed to come out next month! Thanks for reading guys, make sure to review!
