29

A week away with the team, Ianto felt almost excited if not for the immense fear. Janet seemed happy enough and the remote control feeder meant she would be OK without them probably wouldn't even notice them gone.

Myfanwy would do as she pleased, the aviary doors left open for her and Ianto had no more excuse not to go. Jack was not annoyed with the heel dragging, having expected it. Ianto was so far from his comfort zone he was on another planet as he worried about unfamiliar terrain, a layout he already had blueprints to but could not feel confident in until he had stalked all through the place like a cat.

Ianto's Monachopsis was catching and Jack knew by the time they got there everyone would be edgy. Jack could only hope Ianto would feel confidence once they had settled in for the evening.

"Ianto?" Tosh said softly and he turned to look over at her with a gentle smile. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, will be. Just don't like the countryside" he sighed and she nodded her agreement.

"Ianto? You can talk to me, I was there too. No need to feel….feel…"

"Exulansis" he muttered and she snorted.

"You really are a factorum aren't you!" she sighed, "You deflect with intelligence whenever cornered."

"And you don't?"

"Ianto?" Owen asked with a bored tone, "Are you trying to cast a silencing spell on Tosh with those weird words coz you need a wand for that."

Ianto stared at Owen and twisted right around in his seat to answer "Owen you are reading the Harry Potter books again, aren't you. I keep telling you that Myfanwy is not an overgrown phoenix and if I catch you trying to lure her into the furnace I will kill you."

"One time" Owen muttered as he slumped theatrically, "Make a joke about his bird one time and he never forgets."

"That's the thing with Ianto, he can't forget. That's the real curse" Tosh said as she settled back for the ride and glanced back at the man in the back who was asleep against the window, Andy's hand clutching a blanket like it was a comfort rug and she wondered where he had got it from, the tartan not something Ianto would have allowed into the SUV inventory.

"Ianto? Did you give him a blanket?" Owen had noticed too, "I want a blanket."

"I did not" Ianto sighed. "It is his own, his pillow too."

"I want a blanet too" Owen repeated, his scowl filling his face like a sulky three year old and Ianto remembered the tantruming of their previous country trip so he turned to Jack.

"Sorry sir, can you pull over for a sec?" Ianto asked and Jack pulled to the verge, then watched Ianto get out and walk to the back, move things around and return with an armful of blankets, flinging them back at Owen except for one, "There, have at it."

Owen handed Tosh one like he had got them himself and she rolled her eyes as she accepted and Ianto drew the remaining blanket up over his head, becoming a parody of Cousin It in the passenger seat with the brown hound's-tooth pattern.

Jack glanced his way occasionally and quietly worried as he knew Ianto was getting stressed so he started to sing softly hoping it would comfort Ianto and soon Ianto had pulled the blanket down enough to let his face be seen.

Finally the SUV was silent as Jack drove the last half hour to the estate and he hoped things might loosen up when they get there, Ianto might relax when he sees the place. Lord knows this silence was unnerving after the soft and tentative touches to find the bond silent was almost like a loss. Ianto was so nervous that he had retreated into himself and all Jack could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat.

Rubatosis Sir?

Jack snorted as he wondered if Owen might think that was something to do with a nose and Ianto's silent snort was comforting.

Finally Ianto started to communicate but not with words, music. Jack was touched that he got to hear a woman singing softly in the back of his mind while what seemed to be a lace curtain moved in the breeze making the half light of a room flicker.

Mama.

Ianto was sharing a memory of his mama comforting him when he was little in his bed and unable to settle. It was lovely, raw and so unbelievably ….. personal that Jack felt a lump in his throat as he felt the love in the melody.

"Thank you Ianto" Jack whispered amazed that in the midst of a mini meltdown Ianto had wanted to comfort him even as he sought it himself and Ianto nodded as he sat up and looked out at the imposing building.

"Well then, let's get this over with" Ianto sighed and Jack grimaced as he heard the fear in Ianto's voice.

Then Owen woke and screamed with horror at the horse peering in the SUV window and Ianto snorted before he could stop himself.

The band around Jack's heart eased.

This might work.

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Monachopsis – the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

Exulansis – the tendency to give up talking about an experience because people do not understand and are unable to relate to it.

Rubatosis – the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat