DRIVING YOUR GIRLFRIEND HOME
The trip back to Princeton was a quiet one. Cuddy woke up early and packed both their suitcases while House ordered room service and told her she was folding his shirts wrong.
"Do you want to do it?" She held out a random printed tee shirt.
"No, you're doing fine." He stopped complaining about her trifold technique and dug into his omelet.
Cuddy joined him for a fruit cup and coffee then fussed over their paperwork, making sure he had his ID, plane ticket, some cash, a book or something to keep him from spending the whole flight annoying her, chapstick and anything else he might need.
"Yes Mommy," House said as she rattled off her checklist. He was rolling his eyes too, but he appreciated her fussing. It made him feel cared for.
"Don't 'yes Mommy' me House. If you don't have everything you need I'm the one you're going to drive crazy until I find it so here," She tossed him his ticket, which he had claimed to have in his pocket. "Don't lose it this time."
"Yes Mommy." House grinned. He knew that would annoy her. It wasn't his fault, this almost pathological need to annoy her. If she didn't look so hot when she was pissed he wouldn't try so hard to piss her off.
Cuddy picked a grape out of her near empty fruit bowl and tossed it at his head. "It's time to go."
House grabbed the grape as it went rolling down his shoulder and popped it in him mouth. "Yesh Mumbe." He got up, grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and tossed it over his shoulder as a strapping young Bell Hop came to take their luggage.
Cuddy ignored House and followed the Bell Hop downstairs then handed him a few dollars as he put the bags into their rental car. "Have a nice trip home Mrs. House." He said with a polite bow. House watched her carefully, looking for some sign of embarrassment, anger, secret pleasure at the name. He was hoping for secret pleasure but he got nothing more than a smile.
"You told him we're married?" She asked when they were safely in the car.
"He thought you were a hooker. I was trying to preserve your reputation." Actually the boy, upon check in, had thought they were married and House just didn't bother correcting him. He liked the idea that anyone would think a woman like Cuddy would marry him.
"Right." She didn't believe him for a second, but she saw no point in pushing the issue. "Take a right at the light," she instructed, looking at the directions the concierge had given her.
"I know how to get to the airport."
"We got lost on the way to the hotel, so forgive me if I don't take you at your word. Here!" She pointed to the street House was meant to turn into.
"If you weren't distracting me, I would have made the turn." House made a quick U-turn and this time headed down the right street.
"Fine, I'll stay quiet, but if you get lost and make us miss our flight you will be flying solo for a while." She stared at him, making sure he understood her.
"We live together now. You can't send me home when you don't want me."
"No, but I've got a spare room." She had won that round. House drove silently, glancing at the directions she kept very deliberately in his line of vision, knowing he had no idea where they were going.
Cuddy sung lightly to the music as House drove. She was thinking of Rachel, wondering if Wilson had fed her enough, put her to bed on time and held her when she needed it. Every time she called Wilson to check in House assured her he knew what he was doing. "Wilson's great with the ladies," House would say trying to help. It never did.
As House pulled into the airport's massive parking lot Cuddy was on the phone with Wilson. House pulled into the rental car area and screeched into a spot. He turned off the ignition, reached over and grabbed Cuddy's phone and without a word, switched it off. "You're going to see her in a few hours." He got out of the car, putting her phone in his pocket and popped the trunk. "Let's go or we'll miss our flight."
They were in no danger of missing their flight. It wasn't leaving for another hour and a half. House told her they didn't need to get there so early, that his limp and his cane would get them through the line in no time. He was right. Ten minutes after they walked into Hartsfield Airport they were being scanned by security.
Cuddy made it through with no problem, but House was called to a dark corner where he was rescanned. He had to take off his shoes and his coat. He had to empty his pockets and hand over his cane. Cuddy watched with a mixture of amusement and annoyance. Yes they had plenty of time to kill, but this wasn't how she wanted to kill it. It wouldn't have been so bad if House didn't still have her phone.
House watched as one of the two security grunts turned the cane over in his hand. "It's got a sword in it."
The grunt's eyes grew wide and he looked mildly disappointed when it turned out House was lying.
"Oh, I was just kidding. It's my beating stick, if you know what I mean." House motioned toward Cuddy who had no idea what was being said, or why both security guards were looking at her with odd little smirks on their faces. She was used to that look from House.
"Why are you carrying two cell phones Mr. House?" The other grunt was riffling through House's coat pockets.
"One's hers. She tried to use it to call for help."
"Excuse me?" The guard looked at him oddly.
"Human trafficking. If I let the whores keep their phones they tend to use them to call for help."
The two guards looked once more at Cuddy who finally approached. "I'm sorry Ma'am, you can't enter." He held her back with one hand.
"I'm his wife. He's…" she leaned in and whispered, "unstable, without his meds. Don't listen to anything he's saying. He's just a harmless old fool."
"Yes, but he set off our monitor…"
"Because there is a metal tip at the end of his cane. He had it put on so his cane would make noise when he walks on hard floors." She pointed to the bottom of the cane. "Can we go now?"
The guard holding the beating stick took a look at the tip and saw the little piece of metal. It looked like a thumbtack stuck into the bottom of the cane. He handed it back to House. "You're all set." He nodded to the exit and watched the couple head off down the corridor.
"What do you think that tip is really for?" One of them asked the other with a smile. No one ever said their job couldn't be interesting.
"You rescued me." House said, all a flutter.
"Only because you still have my phone." And because she loved him, but she left that part out.
"I want the window seat." House said as they sat at the gate and waited for the plane to arrive.
"No, House. Whenever you sit in the window seat you constantly fidget and have to get up to go to the bathroom every time I get comfortable."
"Why do you think I want the window seat?" He smiled.
"Forget it. You got it coming down, I'm getting it on the way home. Now give me my phone." She held out her hand as if he might actually comply with her demands for a change.
"Come and get it," was his response.
Cuddy got up and searched for a pay phone.
The plane didn't arrive for another hour. Cuddy spent most of that time making baby talk into a pay phone. House spent it studying the array of people passing by. There wasn't much of note. There was an old man being left on a doorstep by his uncaring son and his family. At least the grandkids seemed sad to see him go. A young couple so clingy they couldn't possibly have known each other longer than the length of a weeklong vacation. As soon as they pretty blonde was on her plane, tall dark and handsome would be eyeing someone coming off another plane.
"House?" Cuddy was standing over him. "House. They just called out flight. We can board now." Cuddy pulled the daydreamer to his feet and they walked to the gate, House leaning on his leg more than was necessary. He did that when he needed the sympathy of others. The worse he made the pain look to outsiders the nicer they were to him and the more they were willing to bend rules for him.
The plane was empty as they boarded. Cuddy managed to get on the plane first, securing her position in the window. "Nicely played my dear," House teased as he eased himself into the exit row seat. Cuddy had requested it for the extra leg room. House appreciated that, though he didn't say. It was one of the nice things about Cuddy. He didn't have to say thank you, or please, or any of those niceties that people said not because they meant it but because it was necessary to prove they were good people.
"I know you were going to try to take it." Cuddy had known him well enough to never trust him at his word. House promised to let her have the window seat, which she knew meant he was going to try to get it first.
House had the freedom to get up and pee or pester the flight attendants as much as he wanted without disturbing Cuddy. Instead, he fell asleep. He slept most of the way home. The night before had been an active one and he hadn't gotten the rest he needed. Cuddy spent the flight going over the half year budgets.
They landed at Newark Intl. and rolled their luggage out to the sidewalk. Wilson was waiting in his Volvo. Cuddy could see the top of Rachel's head in the backseat. House could see her face light up when she saw the infant. He smiled, which even he found strange.
"How was the conference?" Though Cuddy had called him every two hours, she had told Wilson nothing about the CDC conference. Instead she had made him give her a play by play of Rachel's every movement and sound.
"I think I might have killed them all." House said with such regret that for a moment Wilson thought he was serious, until he followed up with, "I probably shouldn't have injected them all with a free sample of Abrams' Disease." He frowned then shrugged and got in the passenger seat. He figured Cuddy would want to be in back with Rachel.
He was right. Cuddy barely gave Wilson a hello before she reached into the car and pulled her daughter out. "Mommy missed you," she said in a sing song voice as Rachel cooed and gurgled and spit up a little on Cuddy's coat.
"She missed you too," House said with a snicker.
"So, how did it really go?" Wilson asked when they hit the road.
"They want to do some testing. I'll probably have to go back and present to the head of the CDC once they confirm that I'm not full of it." House knew he wasn't full of it. He wasn't after fame. He had just wanted an answer and when he couldn't find one he was lucky enough that making one up turned out to be right.
"Have you given any thought to rehiring 13?" Wilson had kept in touch with her, offering a shoulder to cry on and that sort of thing until Foreman put an end to it with a very thinly veiled threat along the lines of "stay away from my girlfriend or you'll be breathing out of your ass."
"Nope." House had given some thought to firing the rest of his team and starting fresh.
"Good. Wouldn't want you to do the right thing," Wilson said sarcastically.
"Has she been eating enough?" She expected Rachel to look bigger.
"She's eating just fine." Wilson sighed. He'd been asked about Rachel's eating habits a dozen times. Cuddy had only been gone for two days.
"She looks thin." Cuddy frowned.
"She looks the same." House replied.
"Has she been sleeping?"
"You mean the ONE night you were gone?" Wilson was losing his patience. He immediately felt guilty. "Yes, she slept fine."
"I know you don't want to face it Cuddy but other people are capable of keeping Rachel alive for two days."
"Shut up House." She pouted then turned her attention back to her daughter. "And you're not getting a new team." She remembered the comment he'd made a few minutes ago.
"We'll see about that." House loved a challenge, especially one that involved beating Cuddy at something.
Wilson felt the shift of energy in the air. The game was afoot.
