Chapter 29 – Promises Were Made To Be Broken
AN: Many thanks to those who reviewed, alerted and favored 'Destiny.' I also commend those who continue to read my fic and have stayed as long as they have. I do apologize for not posting weekly. It's been difficult to manage my job, real life and writing. My thanks to Lhaine07, pistonsfans75, Cassie Sharpie, Mspriss523, DramionEverlarklover26, LACR, pumpkinking5, jroseley, J, and guests for your reviews. Your comment and input mean a lot to me. This chapter contains Haymitch, Prim, Peeta, and Katniss' POVs. The rating is M. So read at your own risk for you have been warned.
The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.
Haymitch POV ––
I kept my distance and my eyes away from Peeta and Katniss. They were hidden in the porch but I could tell by the close proximity that they were busy kissing. I sighed––teenager and their raging hormones. Sometimes, I envied them but with these, not! I truly hope that they both decided to join our cause. Things were heating up in the districts––people were restless and angry. Food and resources were scarce as people were being driven from their homes for any dissident activity in their district.
This was the perfect time to bring in Peeta and Katniss into the rebellion. It was true that they are the symbol of Panem's future. That is why we suspected that District 13 sent a fake MockingJay to 'recruit' Peeta. Mind you, their method was drastic but it shows Peeta's important and Coin's desperation.
There were two reasons why I wanted to accompany Peeta and walk him home. I needed to talk to him. I rubbed by upper arms as the air turned chilly. At the corner of my eye, I detected a small drone hovering above the Seam area. I was tempted to wave my hand and so hello but thought against it. Finally, Peeta and I headed back to the bakery. During that time, I snuck a look at the youngest Mellark boy. I could tell that his mind was elsewhere and not from his date with Katniss.
"Want to talk about it?" I said as I walked beside him.
"Yes, no. Maybe," he uttered in confusion.
"You know you can talk to me, Peeta," I returned. "I know that what we're asking of you is a lot." He scoffed but kept quiet. "But our request is two fold you know." Peeta turned his head and looked at me.
"Can we not talk about this now?" he sighed.
"Sure." We then continued to walk out of the Seam in silence when were approached by three Peacekeepers.
"Mr. Abernathy, you do know that it's past curfew?" a tall lanky Peacekeeper spoke as he adjusted the rifle in his hands. "What are you two doing out here in the Seam?" His eyes directed at Peeta.
"I'm aware of the time," I said. "I was walking young Mellark here back after dropping his girl home." The Peacekeeper looked startled when I mentioned Peeta's name.
"Oh, so you're the boy…Peter Mellark," he started.
"Peeta, not Peter," Peeta corrected him.
"You think you're special don't you kid," the soldier returned as he sized up Peeta from head to toe. I was surprised and amused by the Peacekeeper's interest with him. What is it with these idiots? "I don't see anything special about you." He walked up to Peeta until they were face to face. I was about to step between them but resisted since I knew he could take care of himself. He always had.
"What's your problem?" Peeta inquired.
"My problem is you're way past curfew," he spat. "And…I don't understand what the big deal is about you. I hear the girls in this district fawning over you and I just don't get it."
"Listen, I'm sorry for breaking curfew, if you just let and Haymitch, I mean Mr. Abernathy by we'll be on our way," Peeta returned in calm manner.
"Oh, you think you're smarter than me too, huh?" He pushed Peeta with his rifle hitting him on the chest.
"He didn't do anything wrong, Peacekeeper," I said as I stood between them.
"He's broke curfew," the soldier informed me.
"As did I," I reminded him. "I don't see you giving me any grief."
"I'm not allowed to touch the Victors," he spat back. I looked at the two Peacekeepers that accompanied him. They took a step back not wanting to get involved.
"I don't want any trouble," Peeta returned. He was not one for confrontation but when pushed Peeta would push back to defend himself. It was time for me to intercede because he didn't need any more strikes against him.
"What is your name soldier?"
"Peacekeeper Harris, Abernathy. What's it to you?" he sneered in return.
"I advise you to not harm Peeta in any way, shape or form," I said. "He's untouchable."
"He's not a Victor," he snapped back.
"No, he isn't but he is Snow's new boy. And his status supersedes mine. So if you can't touch me, what makes you think you can push around President's Snow Golden Boy?" I inquired.
"You fuckin' lying to me. I can still arrest him for breaking curfew," he stated.
"Yes you can, but then I'll have to report you to the Head Peacekeeper for assaulting Peeta," I gambled.
"I'll tell them you're lying," he returned. "I have two witnesses."
"Listen to me, Harris. I don't understand what you peacekeepers think to accomplish by bullying Peeta. Do you need want me to remind you what happened to the last Peacekeeper who touched Peeta Mellark, Panem's Golden Boy?" I said in a calm tone. I can't believe the audacity of this asshole. Harris looked puzzled as if his mind blanked out.
"Let me give you a recap. Snow took him to a platform dressed him down removing his rank and position as a Peacekeeper. Then he stripped him waist down, tied both hands to a post above his head and a henchman delivered over 40 lashes until he was dead." Peeta remained quiet beside me as I related my story to Harris. Peeta actually looked pale which didn't already help his fair complexion.
"Abernathy's right Harris," the other Peacekeeper said to him. "You can't touch him. And even if we arrest Mellark for breaking curfew, he'll tell Head Peacekeeper Darius that you assaulted him."
"And let me tell you something about Darius," I said. "He doesn't know you, but he knows me and Peeta. He'll believe us before he would believe you."
"Let them pass," the other peacekeeper said. "I...we don't want any trouble." With a loud grunt, Harris waved his hand.
"Go," he ordered. I sent him a three-finger salute and grabbed Peeta by the arm leaving one anger soldier stewing behind us.
A few minutes later, we cleared the Seam and we headed towards the bakery. "I don't envy you, kid. You seem to attract trouble without even trying," I sighed in relief as the Merchant township appeared before us.
"Peeta?" He was lost in his head that was obvious. "Are you okay?"
"I'll never be okay," he muttered under his breath. "This is never going to be over."
"What Peeta?"
"Getting my life back." I felt bad for the kid because he was right. Snow owned him just as he placed that tracker in his arm making sure he knew where he was anytime and anywhere. "I don't know what to do."
"I can't help you with that, Peeta," I returned. He had to make this decision for himself. He and Katniss both needed to evaluate and decide their fate. "But there is something I need to say to you though."
"What?"
"Whatever you do," I started. "You need to think of the consequences if you do or don't join the rebellion. There's a lot at stake and a lot of people will be affected with your decision. I don't meant to add more stress but you need to think of everyone and everything that will be involve in your decision making."
"I know that, Haymitch," he spat back in anger. "Every decision I made since…my involvement with Ivan and Cray, I have done nothing but think of everyone, my family and friends––the whole district." He and Katniss was like Jay they would shoulder a lot of responsibility for their actions and involvement. Everyone would look up to them for guidance and hope. That's a large burden to carry. As we neared the bakery, I took Peeta aside. "One more thing," I started. "I think I know you by now. At least I think I do so please forgive me for being blunt. Hell, I'll just say it."
"What?" Peeta looked tired and exasperated.
"On reaping day," I stopped and held my breath. "Don't you fucking dare volunteer!" Peeta was stunned. His eyes were large and round. "Don't look at me and say that you weren't even thinking about it."
"I…I was…" He was speechless that was for sure.
"Tell me I'm wrong?" I dared him. Peeta's face turned red as he looked away. "Say it to my face and tell me I'm wrong."
"I can't," he admitted.
"Good, I told you that I knew you," I said in a smug tone. "You're a good and decent kid, Peeta. After everything you've endured and I'm not just talking about Ivan, Cray and Snow, you're an exceptional, thoughtful and kind young man that any father would be proud to have." My eyes misted but I blinked several times to stop myself from tearing up. "You sacrificing yourself would only hurt the people who love you."
"People got…hurt because of me," he sobbed back.
"No people, Graham died because of Snow not because of you, Peeta," I said as I placed both hands on his lean shoulders. He lost weight coming back from the Capitol, but since then he seemed to have gained some of it back. "If anyone should take the blame for the attack on 12 it's Snow. He is our enemy, Peeta. Just remember who our enemy is." He nodded his head. "So with that in mind, I want you to swear to me that you won't volunteer on reaping day."
"I can't…"
"Peeta, you don't have to sacrifice your life to save the people you love," I said in an irritated tone. "In fact, I'll kick your ass myself I find you on that train with me back to the Capitol."
"You can't make me do what you want?" He fought back. Peeta was angry.
"You're mad?" I asked. "Good, stay mad if you want. But you know I'm right. What good would it do to give your self up to Snow? If you did he won. He owns your body but not your soul and by volunteering you walked right into his trap, and he won."
Peeta turned his head and looked away. "What about Katniss? At least she'll survive this and move on?"
"You really think that she doesn't care about you the way you care about her?" I was astounded by his logic. "Don't hurt her, Peeta. Don't let her down and have her fall in love with you just when you're thinking of sacrificing yourself to protect her. It's cruel and selfish."
"It's all I can do to protect everyone," he bit back. "Snow will back off from…hurting the people I love."
"Who's to say he won't kill us once you're dead. That is what you're sacrificing will mean to everyone, me, your dad, Rye and Katniss. It means nothing. And how do you we will all feel once you're gone? No, you need to fight for the people who love you. Don't you think we are worth fighting for? Dying is the easy way out."
The night was dark and cold. I felt the chill seeped through my jacket. The pit in stomach magnified. It appeared the moment I asked Peeta and Katniss to join our cause––the revolution that had been brewing long before they were born, but was needed to fuel Panem into action. We needed the district to back us up and unfortunately, two kids from District 12 were fated to be our hope and salvation as they were needed to beside MockingJay.
"Anyway, as I said Peeta. I need you to swear to me that you won't volunteer," I reiterated. "I need your word as man to man, that you will not sacrifice your life for some foolish notion of protecting us. We need you to stand by us not die for us. You have a bright and happy future if…when we win this war, Peeta. Wouldn't you like to be there when it all happens?" He nodded his head.
"I'm so tired Haymitch," he confessed. Peeta was worn and exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. It was apparent on this face, his demeanor and posture, but most of all it was apparent in his eyes. It displayed the weariness and burden he carried.
"I'm tired. We are all tired," I admitted myself. "I'm scared too, Peeta. I'm scared everyday that something will happen to everyone not only in this district but also in Panem."
"If I swear to you to not volunteer, you have to promise me something as well," Peeta begged his eyes sad and flat. "If I decide to play soldier with the MockingJay, please watch over my family especially Tyler." 'Shit, I had forgotten about his new charge, his nephew.'
"Your dad will protect him," I reminded him.
"I know that but…"
"Give your dad some credit and a break, Peeta," I scolded him. "I know he failed you when you were growing up, don't discount that he loved you despite the fact he was a weak man. He was…is still a kind and loving father."
"I know he loves me, Haymitch," he said. Peeta wasn't that kind of person who held onto grudges, resentment and bitterness.
"Then, trust him to take care of his only grandson. Well, his only grandchild for now." I had to remind myself that Delly; Rye's wife was pregnant. "Now, before you head in, don't think I forgot about you making a promise to me." I brushed my hand on the top of his head. "Swear to me, on…Tyler's soul that you will not volunteer at the next reaping."
"I…I…" he stumbled to finish his sentence.
"I know that once you make a promise, you will keep it. You're not one to break promises." Peeta was a young man of honor and integrity. He was his own person who couldn't be turned or have his principles changed no matter what torture he endured. He had already proven that when Snow drugged him. "Swear to me, Peeta." I held onto his gaze, eye to eye daring him to argue back until he spoke. I wouldn't or couldn't leave without his promise.
"I…promise…" His Adam's apple bounced up and down his throat. He was fighting emotions of anger, frustration and resignation.
"Promise me what?" I demanded. "Say it."
"I promise I won't volunteer on reaping day," he swore and closed his eyes.
I sighed in relief. "Okay, good. Now get inside before your dad gets worried and gets a heart attack," I teased him. He turned but I caught his forearm. "Hey, whatever decision you make I'll support you. This I promise you as well."
"Thanks Haymitch," he returned with a small smile on his face.
Prim POV ––
When dad arrived, I was worried because it was close to curfew and Katniss was still not home. "You're sister is out on the porch so do not disturb her," he warned me. 'As if,' my mind whispered. He brushed past me with a kiss to my forehead. "Good night Prim."
Dad retreated to his bedroom. I heard mom greet him as she closed the door behind him. "Well, how did it go?" her voice carried until the door slam shut. Dad looked tired and pensive. Something was going on. Curious and nosy, I crept up to a window to spy on my sister. Could you blame me? Katniss had a hot new boyfriend, an actual boyfriend who I got along with. I wanted her to acknowledge her feelings and attraction to Peeta for a long while. Ever since I caught him staring at her from across the playground at school, I knew he had a crush on her. It was obvious to me but not to Katniss. My sister was so focused in providing for us, that she also was oblivious to Gale and Peeta's attention. So I was pleased that she opened her eyes and heart and accepted Peeta's affections in return. They were just so damn adorable together.
Though they were covered in darkness I could see the outlines of their figures close together as if they were one. As my eyes adjusted I noticed that he had one hand behind her head and the other on her back. They were….kissing. I almost squealed in delight but cupped my hand over my mouth to stifle my laughter.
My eyes grew wide in shock as the kiss intensified. Wowy…that's hot. Who knew my sister had in her to be so…amorous and demanding as she angled her head returning his kisses. I thought I saw tongue….yes, I did. I nearly screamed when Peeta placed a hand on her breast. She moaned in returned. I retreated back holding my breath. Geez, I didn't realized that their relationship progressed that fast that they were groping each other. They were practically on their third official date. But what did I know? I'm only fourteen and still have yet to experience my first kiss but I knew one thing. I wasn't going to wait until I was eighteen to find out. A moment later I looked out the window just in time as they pulled apart and pressed their foreheads together. I strained my neck to listen.
"I'm sorry, Katniss," Peeta whispered. Alarmed Katniss pulled back. She looked frightened. "I didn't mean for all this to happen…to you and your family." She sighed in relief and sobbed. "What's wrong? I'm sorry if––"
"Don't apologize," she said as she placed a hand on his face. "For a second…"
"What?" Peeta's voice shook.
"I thought…I thought you were going to break up with me. When you said you're sorry––"
"No, no," Peeta said as he wrapped both his arms around her. "I wasn't." She laid her head against his chest. "I just got you back. Why would you think that?"
"I…I'm…" she sighed. "I'm scared something will happen now."
"Shh..Katniss," Peeta shushed her. "Don't think like that…I can't even think about you not being in my life after getting you back in it."
"What are we going to do?" she asked in a desperate tone. I frowned.
"Katniss, I meant it when I said I don't want to talk about right now. I didn't expect our date to end up like…that." 'What happened?'
"But––" Peeta interrupted her.
"Tomorrow, Katniss," Peeta insisted. "Not now, okay?" She nodded her head. Peeta leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. "Tomorrow is Saturday and I know that you're working, we'll talk after work." Then he kissed her again once then twice. Once they lips connected again Peeta grabbed her around the waist like a man starved. He deepened his kiss as Katniss returned his kisses with equal fervor. I didn't think they were going to stop so…
I wasn't like Katniss who had light feet and with as much stealth I could muster, I tip toed back to our room and plopped on the bed. I sighed and placed a hand over my rapidly beating heart. They were so good for each other.
"Hey, Prim," Katniss addressed me once she entered the room. I smirked and held my tongue. A retort entered my mind as I noticed her disheveled state. Her hair was mussed and her lips swollen and red. Did they….? I knew my sister it was too soon for her and Peeta to engage in sex. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, why do you ask?" I inquired as I raised myself on my elbows.
"You've been staring at me since I walked in the room ignoring my question," she answered.
"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking." She sat next to me and removed her shoes.
"What about?" She tilted her head. "Everything okay?" I nodded my head.
"Yeah, it just that…right after you left. Mom and dad had an argument," I stated.
"Really, do you know what about?" Katniss face was pinched with worry.
"I really can't say," I informed her. "I mean they were in their bedroom and all I heard was their muffled voices then dad opened the door and walked out of the house. He just got back a few seconds before you."
"Oh!" Katniss said. She didn't look surprised.
"Do you have any idea?"
"I'm not sure," she replied. "I wouldn't worry too much about it tonight. Why don't you get ready for bed?" I narrowed my eyes in suspicion as I detected that she had in inkling what the argument was about. However, I was too happy for her to burst her bubble. After I did my turn in the bathroom, Katniss was in there for a surprisingly long time that I started to get worried.
"Katniss, are you okay?" I asked through the door.
"I'm fine, Prim," she returned. "I'll be out in a minute." She walked out the bathroom and headed towards the bed. Once she was settled she took a deep breath.
"Are you happy, Katniss," I inquired as I lay on my side. Katniss looked at ease but there was a crease in her forehead like something was bothering her.
"Yes, Prim," she smiled back as she lay on her side. "I am. I never thought I ever would be happy under the circumstances."
"Is Peeta a good boyfriend? Is he treating right?" I was curious. I knew Peeta adored her, cherished her but I needed to know if she knew that. That she appreciated him.
"More that I deserve, I think," she sighed.
"Don't ever say," I reprimanded. "You took care of me when mom checked out on us for weeks, for months while she took care of dad. You deserve someone who can make you happy like Peeta does. You make him happy too. I can see it every time you're together."
"I hope so," she breathed through her nose.
"I hope I get to be lucky to find someone like Peeta," I confessed.
"You will, Prim," she returned. "No one but you deserve to find…your Peeta." We both giggled. Surprisingly, we slept through the night without Katniss tossing and turning in bed. Why should she when she was the receiving end to one of the most hottest kisses I've seen. I would sleep through the night too.
Before the crack of dawn, I woke up. I turned my head and noticed that Katniss was still fast asleep but then realized that she could no longer went out into the woods because of fence.
As quietly as I could, I snuck out of bed. The floorboards underneath my feet were icy cold that I gasped in shock. I placed a hand over my mouth to stifle a scream. Katniss lay in bed unaware. I looked over to make ensure she was still asleep. These past few days she slept well––first time in months since….the Cray incident with Peeta. Every night when she came home from her date she was happy especially the night she snuck out to meet him.
"That looks good on you, Katniss," I said with a big smile on my face. I was so happy for her.
"What? This old dress," she returned with a look of confusion and amusement.
"No, the look of happiness each time you come home from your date with Peeta."
She scowled at first then smiled realizing she couldn't hide her feelings from me.
"He's wonderful and I'm glad he's mine," she admitted as she drew a long breath.
"It's about time," I teased her and looked her up and down.
"What?" she asked as her eyes narrowed.
"Nothing," I quipped back.
The morning air was cold that my teeth chattered together. It was risky what I was about to do but mom needed certain herbs that grew in the forest. I needed licorice and elderberry––herbs and a root that grew around the edge of fence. I also had an ulterior motive for foraging in the woods. Peeta's birthday was coming up and I wanted to find plants and foliage so I could make him some paint for him. If my wish comes true he'll not only be my friend but hopefully my future brother in law. But I digress and thinking too far into the future.
I needed to take thing slowly and one day at a time because I know my sister, Peeta will have his hands full. Not only was she difficult but she could be stubborn as well. They both were.
With my hood covering my face, I snuck out the house on socked feet. Once outside I sat on the first stoop and put my boots on. I love the smell of early morning dew and the trees surrounding us. It's was this time of the day that I loved, the sun absent as it hid behind the horizon, birds and wild life came alive with the signal of dawn breaking. The Seam is quiet, eerily peaceful. I felt alone in the world. Brushing off from my trance, I hoped that I was quick with my errand before Katniss woke up.
I love Katniss. She took care of me when mom checked out on us. I never understood why mom emotionally neglected us. Katniss took her role as provider taking care of my needs, making sure I was feed, clothed and comforted me. I was scared of Dad after he recovered that it took time for me to see him as my father again. His disability scared me not because of his missing limbs but the image of him as my father––a strong provider. Because of that I looked to Katniss. But because of having lost our parents emotionally and physically Katniss because the surrogate mother and with that responsibility she became overprotective and obsessive with my wealth fare. And I loved her for it at the time. Now, she has to realize that I can take care of myself. She should return to role of my sister and not my surrogate mother.
For months now I had been sneaking out of the house and foraging in the woods. One morning, I followed Katniss as she hunted for game. She never knew I did but once I got over my initial fear and anxiety I had been sneaking out on my own ever since. She nearly caught me once but I evaded her. No one knew it but….I remembered the day I was discovered. It was the first time I met Peeta Mellark.
Flashback ––
The first time I foraged in the woods I was scared but now after a few weeks on my own, I looked forward to walking in the woods gathering plants, roots and herbs. I made sure that I snuck out the same time as Katniss and headed back sooner than she would. She would kill me if she knew what I had been up to. The sun had risen from the horizon so I knew it was time to head back home. I was close to the fence when I heard a scream. I ran towards the direction of the noise and as I ran around a tree I saw…Peeta Mellark on the ground lying on his side with both hands holding onto his left ankle.
"Peeta," I called out to him. He looked up surprised at my appearance.
"Primrose?" he returned. "What…wh..whhat aaa..are you do..doing out here?" My heart skipped a beat. He knew my name.
"I could ask you the same question?" I said as I walked over to him. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" He grimaced and scrunched his nose.
"Just mmmy…my p..pride," he said. He blushed a bright red, the tips of his ears were pink and his forehead gleamed with sweat.
"What happened?" I inquired and sat next to him. "Did you fall and hurt your ankle?" He sat up and placed his hands on the ground behind him. "Can I take a look?" He nodded his head. When I removed his shoes, he hissed in pain. "Sorry. I'll try to be gentle."
"I don't think I bb…broke it," he assessed. "Just a sprain." I agreed with him as I removed his bright orange socks. I tried not to laugh at his attire. He wore dark green pants with a dark brown parka. The bright orange sock was surprising. On his ankle was a slight bruise and small lump.
"You're right," I affirmed. "It doesn't look too bad. What happened?" I took out an herb from my pouch and covered the lump. The effect was immediate as Peeta smiled in relief. "This should lessen the swelling."
"Thank you," he returned with a smile on his face. I blushed. I knew I did as I felt my cheeks warmed because Peeta Mellark, a Merchant boy and son of the baker knew my name. He knew me. Peeta was well loved and admired amongst my classmates both Merchant and Seam. He was sweet and kind; one of a rare few Merchants that didn't look down on Seam folks. His father and brother were also kind as well unlike their mother who hated us. If she had her way she wouldn't sell bread to us, but she needed the income if she wanted the family bakery to survive.
"I ff..ffeeel s…stu…stupid," he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Peeta, take your time," I ordered him. "No need to rush to explain."
He took a deep breath. "I s…saw a deer. I n..never saw one before so I tried to follow it. I wasn't looking where I was going and I tripped." I smiled. He smiled back in embarrassment.
"Don't feel bad," I said. "I'm clumsy too."
"Oh you lie," he blurted. "I bet you walk real quiet like your sister, Katniss."
"You know my sister?" Hmm….this was interesting. A few times I caught him staring at her so I knew something was up.
"No, I don't know her personally," he uttered under his breath. "She's…she's in one of my classes." Katniss had never mentioned that Peeta was in one of her classes but why would she? She wasn't aware of the boys in our school. As a matter of fact, she was totally oblivious to the male population unless you were Dad or the Hawthorne boys. The sound of a bell rang from a distance. It was the clock from the Justice Building tolling.
"Shit, Prim. We better get moving."
"Is your ankle feeling better?" I asked. He replaced his sock but left the herb on his ankle. He doubled knotted his shoes and stood up. He then tested his feet. "It doesn't hurt much."
"Try walking on it." He took a step and almost stumbled had he not reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder. His warm hand startled me. I knew he had a crush on Katniss but that didn't mean that I didn't have one on him as well.
"I think I just need to walk on it," he decided. "You better head back, Prim. I don't want you to get in trouble."
"But––"
"I'll be fine," he insisted. "Besides, I think your sister will kill me if anything happened to you. Go before you get in trouble."
"See you at school, Peeta," I said back.
End of Flashback ––
Since that day, we grew to be really good friends. When I heard he volunteered to assist an art class, I signed up. I couldn't help but be drawn to him. He was gentle and kind to everyone. But in knowing Peeta, I learned that he only had eyes for Katniss. He never mentioned or admitted it to me but I felt his eyes on her whenever he thought no one was looking. I never resented Katniss or hated Peeta for his crush because I knew somehow they were meant to be together. I just wondered how I could manage to get them together.
My thoughts and mind was preoccupied that I never saw the intruder who was right behind me.
"Prim," the intruder announced himself.
"Peeta, you scared the crap out of me," I shrieked as I placed a hand on my chest. My heart raced and my breath was erratic.
"Sorry, Prim. We got to stop meeting like this," he teased. "I'm surprised you didn't hear me since I called your name a second ago."
"What are you doing out here?"
"I couldn't sleep so I decided to take a walk. Dad was already up doing the prep work so…I have to get back soon or he'll freak out if he finds me missing. What are you doing here?" We both stood in a middle of a field close to the edge of District 12 Township. It was a common place for teenagers for hook up if one didn't want to be caught in the Slagheap. Not many go here since the area was bit of a walk. I loved this place with its' lush foliage and expansive trees that surrounded us. The field was filled with a plethora of plants and roots to choose from. Since the fence was still on, this was only place I could go to. There were many plants I could pick from to create a few pigments for Peeta's paint.
"We ran of out of elderberry and I remembered that a lot grew here." I bent down and picked a few leaves.
"Need any help?" he asked. It was just like Peeta to be sweet and helpful. Most guys I knew would have stood by the sidelines and watched.
"No, I'm almost done," I told him. He looked around us as if he was keeping watch looking up at the sky and our surroundings. I guessed he was gauging to see if there was a drone flying over us.
"You shouldn't be running around by yourself, Prim," he stated after I finished my task.
"I'm okay, Peeta. It's not like I've never done this before," I reminded him.
"With everything that's been happening you shouldn't be walking anywhere in this district without your sister or a friend," he insisted. "It's not…it's not safe anymore."
"I'll be all right. I can take care of myself," I persisted. I'm flattered that he worried about me but I can take of myself just like Katniss.
"You're stubborn like your sister," he sighed. He wasn't angry or upset but he did have a serious look on his face. "Anyway, I know we haven't spoken in a while. And I'm sorry for that."
"It's okay, Peeta," I returned.
"No, you took care of me when I was hurt and I never thanked you. I mean you're my friend too, even before Katniss and I got together. I don't want you to think…that I stopped being your friend as well because I'm seeing your sister." He looked upset.
"I'm not, Peeta." He didn't look convinced. "Really I'm not upset that you're finally with Katniss. I mean I've been trying for a while to get the two of you together." He smiled.
"Yeah?" I nodded my head.
"I'm really glad that you didn't give up on her," I chuckled. "She is stubborn but I knew that she couldn't resist you."
"Well, I don't know about that. She did…" He stopped. "That's the past. I'm lucky that a girl like your sister would like someone like me." Poor Peeta. His mother did a number on his self-esteem and confidence because I knew that once he worked his charm on you, you couldn't resist him. But Peeta wasn't like that.
"I think she's pretty lucky too. To have you for a boyfriend, I mean. I never thought she'd ever have one."
"I don't think you give your sister any credit," he said. "She could have any guy on District 12 if she wanted."
"You don't understand she never wanted a boyfriend," I corrected him. He looked skeptical so I pressed further. "I've never seen Katniss smile so much after your 'dates.' Those must have been some dates." I wiggled my brows. He blushed his ears turned pink and his cheeks ruddy. "Just try not to mark her in places where my dad and mom can see them."
"Prim!" His eyes bulged from shock. I laughed. "That's not…not…I'm not marking your sister––"
"Don't be embarrassed. I don't think she mind getting them," I continued. "But like I said, try not to mark her too much. I don't have enough cream to cover it."
"Just you wait," he teased. "I'm going to return the favor when you come back from your 'dates.' But then again, maybe you should wait until…you're 30." He crossed his arms before his chest.
"Hey," I spat back with no heat in my tone. I never thought that I would be bantering with my sister's boyfriend––a Merchant boy. Even mom and dad approved of him.
"You're like a little sister to me, Prim," he said in a sincere and genuine tone. "I get to look after you too." I felt good and lucky that I had people who loved me. However, this over protectiveness was a bit much.
"Oh that's not fair," I whined. "You're going to be just as bad as Katniss."
"No, Prim," he said. "I'll be worse. And if you think I'm bad you should be glad I'm not Rye or…" He turned his head. I forgot sometimes that he lost his brother Graham. I didn't know what I would do if I lost Katniss.
"Still, thank you," I repeated. "Thank you for…being patient and understanding."
"I wouldn't…couldn't have given up if I tried," he admitted with a sad smile on his face.
"Just don't…don't break her heart," I advised him in a stern but playful manner. I knew he would never hurt her deliberately.
"Oh, Prim," he sighed. "I think you have that the other way around." He was right, I knew my sister. She loved Peeta, had she told him yet I didn't know. To me, it was obvious that Peeta loved Katniss. It shown in his eyes and the way he looked at her. He was transparent while Katniss hid her emotions to herself. She was stubborn like that.
"Anyway, I'm glad we bumped into each other," he began. "There something I wanted to talk to you about and I need your opinion." This is why I loved Peeta. Not loved him like the way Katniss loved him, but loved him for seeing me as a person he could talk to. He didn't treat me like some kid who couldn't take care of herself. "I need a favor."
"Just name it," I said. I trusted him. If he needed help, I was glad to do it.
"I need you…I need you to something for me," he started. "If anything happens, I mean…if anything happens to me, I need you to do something for me."
"Peeta, you're scaring me," I returned. I didn't like his premonition of doom. "Nothing is going to happen to you."
"Well, there's no guarantee––"
"Peeta, stop talking like that."
"Prim, please listen to me," he continued. "You know there aren't any guarantee that nothing will happen to me. I have both Snow and someone after me." It was true. I remembered how frightened I was when Haymitch carried him back to our house the night the MockingJay tried to kidnap him. Katniss was so furious and scared at the same time. I just didn't understand why he would do something like that. "If I wasn't so selfish I wouldn't be dating Katniss let alone have her anywhere near me but…"
"You love her," I added. "You're in love with her." He nodded. I didn't understand why he was so sad after admitting his love for her. He should be happy but he wasn't.
"Anyway, what I'm trying to say is…that in case anything happens to me. I need you to go to my room and get something for me," he explained. "In my room is a wooden box. I want you to give it to Katniss. Just promise that you'll do that for me."
"I will, Peeta," I swore. "But nothing is going to happen to you." He shrugged his shoulders. "But I promise I will." I was curious as to why he wanted to wait and not give it to her sooner I was about to ask why but he changed the subject.
"Also there is something I need to talk to you about," he began again. I flinched. What else did he want to talk about? I felt this sinking feeling in my stomach. "You know that the someone tried to kidnap me?"
"A fake MockingJay is running around," I stated so that he knew I understood.
"Yes, that's what I've been told. Anyway, I need your opinion," he stated. Then he related the story of what happened the night before. How his date with Katniss was interrupted by his dad, Mr. Abernathy and my dad. The fact that they wanted Katniss and him to join the rebellion––to be the symbol of revolution and fight besides MockingJay. It was so much to take in.
"What rebellion?" I asked. "I mean, I heard that there has been a lot of rumors going around that the MockingJay was fighting in the other districts, but I never realized that it affected District 12."
"I didn't either Prim," he admitted. "I had a feeling that my dad was involved but I didn't want to know. I guess denial worked for me because when President Snow asked me if I knew any rebels I was able to tell the truth and admitted that I knew nothing."
"Is that why he drugged you?"
"Yes, initially, but I think he just took great pleasure in hurting me," he said in a nonchalant manner as if he expected it. "Anyway, my point is," he continued. "I need someone else's perspective."
"What do you mean?" I queried. "I don't understand what you're asking."
"Now that you know everything. What should I do? If you were me?"
"Peeta, I'm not you," I gasped. His question startled me. "I can't tell you what to do?"
"I'm not asking you to tell me what to do. I'm asking if you were me and after everything that has happened what would you do?"
"Why are you asking me?" I was flattered but to shoulder that kind of responsibility was too much to ask even if it was hypothetical. "I know nothing."
"And that is why I'm asking you," he sighed. "I can't ask Haymitch or dad because they are in the rebellion so I know what they're asking of me."
"What about Katniss?" I asked. "Shouldn't you two be talking about this together?"
"Yes, eventually, but you know me. I would have just said no because it involves her but I'm not that kind of person who would decide for someone else."
"I don't know Peeta," I admitted. "This is a lot to think about and ask."
"Please, you're like me," he said. "You're opinion means a lot to me." I swelled with pride and gratitude. I appreciated his faith and trust in my opinion.
"What about Rye?"
"I know my brother," he stated. "He would join as fast as he could, but he's got to think about Delly and their unborn baby."
I thought about everything he's been through from Cray to Snow, his beatings and tortures, losing Graham and finally the attempted kidnapping. The things he went through astounded me. How he survived and still be the kind and sweet boy was a testament to his gentle soul. What would I do and how would I feel? So I answered him as best I could.
"If I were you, Peeta," I began. "I would do whatever I could to keep my family and my loved ones' safe. I would do anything to protect them but..."
"I know what I have to do, Prim," he said. "I just don't want the war to change me."
"I don't understand."
"I'm so tired and exhausted emotionally and physically. I have to fight every day to still be me, Prim," he said. "I don't want Snow or this rebellion to change me into some killing machine. If I die I want to the person I am now not some symbol or killer. I can't let them change me."
"It seems like to me you know what to do. You just have to stay true to who you are."
"Even if it means having a lot of people dying around me…because of me?" I couldn't verbally answer him but nodded my head. "Either way Prim, people will get hurt."
I hated any kind of violence to anyone or any creature. I'm a healer not a fighter but that didn't necessarily mean that I would stand by and let other people get hurt. Peeta was not a fighter but I knew that he would kill to protect the people he loved. As for me, if war were to come to 12, I wouldn't raise a gun because that wasn't me. I would heal the sick and wounded––that would be my role if District 12 headed to war against the Capitol.
"Thank you Prim," he said soft and low. The air around was cold and crisp. The condensation from our breath was white and thick. I giggled because Peeta looked as though he was smoking. I guess I looked the same was as well. Standing out in the cold, Peeta's nose was bright red. My face probably did too since we matched in hair color and complexion after all I was half Merchant.
"Why are you thanking me?" I asked puzzled by his gratitude.
"For being my friend even before I got together with your sister. I just want you to know that I would have still been your friend even if...Katniss wasn't my girlfriend," he stated. I smiled and wondered how long it would be before he would become my brother in law. The thought warmed me––Peeta and Rye as my brothers in law and having Delly as a sister in law. If this was I was to gain if the rebellion started, I think it would be worth it.
Peeta POV ––
I awoke and sat up from my bed eyes bulged and breathe hard and raspy. My heart beat so fast against my chest that I could hear it in my ears. 'Thump, thump, thump, thump.' A moment later, I closed my eyes and lay back on the bed. "Breath, breath," I chanted to myself. I couldn't calm myself as I remembered what woke me up––a nightmare. I dreamt that everyone I loved was in meadow celebrating. The fact that Graham was there puzzled me but I was overjoyed to see him alive and well. Beside him, Sonja carried Tyler in her arms. Rye was with Delly who held…a baby swathed in white blanket. They all looked happy. The Cartwright and Edgewoods were there as well. I wanted to run to them but I was glued to a spot 20 yards away from them. Dad waved his hand asking me to come over them, but I couldn't move.
When all of a sudden the sky grew dark. I called out to dad as he looked at me with sad eyes as if he knew what was about to happen. In my dream, he said, "I love you Peeta, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault." I tried to run to my family as they huddled together in a group hug. Then, the field exploded with a firey crash. I watched as they screamed in pain their bodies burning to ashes. I stood paralyzed as I was left standing in field of charred bodies and the meadow a blazed. The fire continued to burn towards me as I was rooted to the ground. I couldn't do anything but wait for my death as the fire licked my skin. I raised my hands watching my fingers lit up and my skin turned to liquid.
I turned my head and looked at the clock on my nightstand. It was 6:15 in the morning. I had over slept for 45 minutes. "Shit," I cursed as I groaned in pain. My body ached from exhaustion. My sleep was fitful as I tossed and turned all morning. I exhaled and reached between my mattress and pulled out a drawing pad. I don't remember what happened to my other pad as it disappeared the same time I was first whipped by Cray. Maybe my mother found it and threw it away. I felt angry as I realized that she had once again invaded my privacy but realized it was pointless my drawing was gone and so was she. Since then I started on a new pad, this one was filled with drawings of Katniss. The first pad were drawings of a Katniss I didn't know ––scowling, impatient and intimidating. I drew her nonetheless because of her beauty behind the icy and hard exterior. She was beautiful to me in whatever emotion she exuded.
The second pad was Katniss that I met and loved––scared, loving and kind. Qualities I knew she possessed each time I had gotten to know her. Mind you, she was still intimidating and impatient. I couldn't love her any less. In my mind's eyes, I envisioned the Katniss that was bold and daring. I was shocked and pleased when she controlled and determined the speed of our relationship especially our intimacy. The fact that she let me touched her in the most intimate manner scared me but I was determined that she would initiate our physical relationship because the last thing I wanted was to scare her off and run from me like the last time. Her running almost killed me.
I shook off the negative thoughts and concentrated on the images I drew. Looking at her calmed me as I thought it would if only for a few minutes. As my eyes lingered at her image I wished the real Katniss was here with me, in bed with me holding her in my arms. That was all I wanted at the moment and it would have been enough.
I managed to sneak back into the house without alerting dad and went straight to bed as I felt exhausted all of a sudden. Meeting Prim early this morning by chance alleviated some of my concerns. Her opinion mattered to me as I felt a kindred spirit with Katniss' little sister.
"Peeta?" Dad's voice echoed from behind my closed door. "Son, are you okay?" His voice was laced with concern. I hated hearing it.
"I'm okay, dad," I returned as I tried to remain calm. The images from my nightmare lingered in my mind. "I'll be up in a second. I didn't mean oversleep."
"Take your time," he said. After a quick shower, I raced downstairs, Rye and Delly were already inside the kitchen preparing breakfast.
"Hey, guys," I greeted them. "What are you two doing here so early?"
"Oh, you didn't tell him, dad?" Rye spoke. Delly lathered a blueberry muffin with butter then stuffed into her face. I swore her belly grew over night as a little pouch was protruding from her belly. I smiled.
"Morgin, Peetha," she said with her mouth full.
"Tell me what?" Fear surfaced in my mind.
"Sorry, I didn't have time," Dad stated as he rubbed the back of his neck. There were bits of dough stuck between his nails. As I looked around me, I noticed that the prep work was already done. There rows of bread and pastry ready to be baked.
"Delly, my love. Don't eat so fast," Rye berated his wife as he removed a muffin from her plate. She had already one before diving into another.
"I'm hungry and eating for two, Rye!" she whined. "The baby is hungry."
"Yeah no need to reminded every five seconds," he stated back. "Do I have to remind you that when you eat to fast and too much, you get a belly ache?" They proceeded to argue amongst themselves ignoring dad and me.
"I couldn't sleep so…I started early," Dad confessed.
"You should have woken me up to help," I said to cover my lie since I knew he was already up before sunrise. I felt guilty for a few seconds but quashed the feeling. I have enough guilt to last me a lifetime and not helping dad this morning, I didn't have the energy to feel bad. I probably will later.
"It's okay, Peeta," he began. "I was up anyway and didn't want to disrupt your sleep." I looked at dad for a few seconds. There were dark circles under his eyes, his hair was in need of a cut and he lost weight. I've been so busy trying to recover from one trauma from another that I ignored his pain and loss. He lost a son and wife within weeks of each other. And because of me, he experienced more heartache than anyone. James Mellark was the baker of District 12, he was my father and despite his weakness and inability to protect us from my mother, I loved him.
I walked over to dad and hugged him. Being in his arms reminded me when I was a little boy seeking comfort and love from him. I missed that guy that used to rub my head at night after an incident with mom. He'd creep into my room and rub my head in a soothing manner. He never displayed emotions of affections in front of us nor had he verbalized it, never in front of mom. "I love you, dad," I whispered to him. He gasped in surprised.
"I love you too, Peeta," he said as he held back his emotions.
"You two are going to make me cry," Delly bawled. "That was the sweetest––" I turned to face my sister in law and brother.
"Oh dear, God," Rye said as he rolled his eyes. "Stop crying, woman." He said in jest.
"Rye! Why you––" She stopped, her lips quivered. Ordinarily I think Delly would have ignored him but since her pregnancy she was sensitive and quick to overreact.
"Oh no, here we go," Rye sighed.
"You're mean, and heartless, and you're sleeping on the couch tonight," she shrieked then ran out of room with Rye at her heels.
"Delly, sweetheart," he cried after her. "I was only teasing honey."
"Don't honey, me Rye…" Their voices trailed off as they headed upstairs to the living quarters. I could hear their muffled voices from behind closed doors.
"Don't start, Delly or you'll wake up Tyler," he reminded her.
"Was mom like that?" I asked dad. He shivered as if he recollected a memory.
"Worse," he answered. We both laughed.
"Go get some breakfast," he said after a couple of minutes later. Breakfast consisted of tea with no milk or sugar, buttered toast and four pieces of bacon. Eggs were rare for breakfast since we needed them for the cakes, cookies and other desserts. I was laying out a platter of bread onto the display case when both Katniss and Prim walked into the bakery.
Immediately I greeted Prim with a quick hug and shared a secret look between us. "I hope you didn't mind coming over too, Prim. Since tomorrow is Reaping Day we're at our busiest. I need someone to watch Tyler for the day." The day before the lottery most families stocked up food for the days ahead because everyone felt stressed after the reaping ceremony. In District 12 once you were selected it was a guarantee that you would not come back home alive. Haymitch was an exception and was our only Victor.
"No problem, Peeta. I don't mind," she returned. "I love watching over your nephew. He's really sweet." I knew I left Tyler in good hands with Prim. I never had to worry how he was treated and cared for.
I turned to my girlfriend. She wore her hair in a braid. Her dress was dark blue accentuating her slim figure. I remembered her wistful comment stating that her breasts were not large enough to please me. How wrong she was to such place importance to the size. They were perfect for me and I made sure she knew it. I couldn't wait to discover and explore the rest of her body but with time I knew we would as our relationship grew.
The thought boggled my mind with the reality of it. Katniss Everdeen is my girlfriend at last. I had to pinch myself several times. "Hey," Katniss greeted me with a hug and chaste kiss to my lips. I was surprised by her display of affection in front of Prim. She coveted our privacy just as I did so the gesture startled me. Her embrace lingered longer than usual that Prim headed upstairs for Tyler leaving us alone for a few seconds before I opened the bakery.
"Hi," I greeted her back. Thoughts of the time we spent together flashed in my head. I had to squash them quickly and not embarrass myself. "Dad said you'll be working at the front with Delly but we might need you in the kitchen if we need help."
"What about Delly?" she said. Her eyes grew wide. Ordinarily it was Delly who worked and assisted us in the kitchen if it got busy but since her pregnancy the heat from the ovens overwhelmed her and the smell of yeast made her nauseous. "She's upstairs in the bathroom."
Katniss' brow furrowed wondering why I knew that information. "She's upstairs vomiting."
"Oh," she returned as she scrunched her nose. "I'll make sure to wait a while before going in there." As expected the bakery was busy and hectic. We ran out of white loaf faster than we could make them that Rye ended up making deliveries all morning. I had almost forgotten to eat lunch when Katniss forced me to take lunch with her. I stopped what I was doing and joined her upstairs with Prim.
"Can you sneak out later this evening after curfew," I whispered in her ear. Katniss nodded her head.
"Where to do want to meet?" she returned in a conspiratorial manner. Her breath tickled my ear. She smelled of pine and wild flowers. My eyes drew directly on the skin between small breasts remembering what she tasted like in my mouth. She tasted delicious. I was so focused on the memories that I was dazed at recollecting them. "Peeta? Sweetie, where do you want me to meet you?"
"Um…at our spot," I said.
"Peeta, we have a lot of spots," she reminded me. "You know, the back porch of the bakery, under the tree in the cemetery and the abandoned house at the edge of Seam."
I smiled. She counted the porch behind the bakery as a spot. Then I remembered why as Dad caught us making out after we took a break during work yesterday afternoon. I had the good sense not to touch her an inappropriate manner as our kisses deepened. Dad discovered us reminding us both that we were still working. I never saw Katniss blushed so fast and hard afterwards.
"Well that was embarrassing," she said as she adjusted her hair.
"It was worth it," I sighed as I enfolded my arms around her slim waist.
"Peeta!" she cried back in mock anger. "I don't think your dad appreciated me shoving my tongue in your mouth with a wall just between us."
"It's not like we were having sex, Katniss," I teased her. She gasped in shock. "I think it was my tongue inside your mouth if you want to get the facts right."
"Peeta, all I'm saying was that we shouldn't have been doing that out here where everyone can see us," she said in irritated manner.
"So you don't want me to kiss you," I retorted as nuzzled my nose in her hair. She was a puzzle I would eternally be figuring out for the rest of my life if she would let me. "You were the one––"
"I know, I know I was the one that initiated it," she sighed. "You're just so damn…"
"What?" I said as I touched the tip of her braid.
"You're so wonderful…kissing I mean. I swear you're lying to me about the fact that you haven't kissed anyone before me." I smiled. "Once you start I just can't stop that I lose my head sometimes. You distract me. In a good way."
"Well, since I'm so distracting," I sighed in a dramatic manner. "Guess I'll just won't kiss you anymore."
"That would be best," she agreed. "No kissing, our touching at work."
"Okay," I said. "So since you made this rule, can I get one more kiss before we go back to work one last time?" Katniss looked towards the back door.
"Oh, I guess," she replied. Not wanting her to change her I mind, I kissed long and hard stealing air from her as I traced my tongue on her lips seeking entrance. Once she opened her lips my tongue explored her mouth until I heard her moaned in satisfaction. As she lost herself from my kisses I dared cupped my hand on her breast giving it a gentle squeeze just to tease her.
"Peeta," she mouthed between my lips. My plan to drive her insane with desire backfired as I felt my cock stiffen against her. She squealed in surprise and pulled back to stare into my eyes, her eyes wide open. I was afraid I took it too far when she grabbed me by the waist and pressed her body closer to mine causing my aching cock to settle between the juncture of her legs. 'Jesus, fuck,' my mind screamed with lust as we started all over again kissing as we lost ourselves to each other.
Needing to breathe we both pulled back. Our arms wrapped around each other and our lower bodies pressed intimately to each other. My cock throbbed as I felt the heat between her legs. "Is this okay?" She was speechless so she nodded her as she breathed through her mouth. "You feel…you feel…"
"I know, I know," she repeated.
"We…we have to stop," I said in disappointment. "We need to let go now because if I don't…"
"I know," she said between breaths. We both groaned in disappointment when we pulled apart. It was a good thing I wore an apron because my cock was erect and hard.
"Okay, no kissing during work or out in the public," I announced as I ran inside the bakery and headed towards the bathroom to get some relief.
Yup, the back porch is a new favorite spot. I used to hate it because it was where I talked to Katniss the first time and she was…mean to me, but now I have new memories.
"The house," I said. "Meet me there because we need to talk." She looked alarmed, scared even. Then I realized what I said. 'We need to talk.' I grimaced. "Katniss, don't look like that." I gave her a chaste kiss on her forehead. "We need to talk about the MockingJay and his…request."
She sighed. "Okay."
Work was hectic but welcomed since it preoccupied my mind. Not once did I stop to check up on Katniss because I knew we would see each other later in the dark of night and we would be alone. I thought about my conversation with Haymitch and how he made me swear not to volunteer tomorrow. That conversation alone helped me to decide what I needed to do to secure my future––a future I knew I wanted with Katniss. That's if she wanted that future with me as well. The possibilities lifted something inside of me––a burden that I carried on my shoulders.
Years of depending on myself made it hard to me to hope for a life filled with possibilities––that I could be loved by the girl I adored since I was five, a family of my own with the love of my life. She was it for me. But with that prospect new concerns and fears surfaced. I could achieve everything I desired but with a cost––the cost of endangering my family by angering the most dangerous and powerful man in Panem, President Snow and instigating a war that could still result in failure. Also, Snow still held my life in his hands as I remembered the tracking devise embedded inside my upper left arm.
"I think we sold more bread than I ever have until today," Dad said as he counted the money in the register. It was usually Katniss or Delly who counted the money at day's end. Everyone's mood was somber since tomorrow was Reaping Day so Dad released Katniss and Prim early so they could be home before dark. And the bakery was closed on Sunday so there was no prep work for tomorrow.
Dinner was a quiet affair. I relished the peace and quiet but missed the Rye's presence. He was the joker in the family always finding a way to make us laugh and put a positive spin in everything. He and Graham never dissuaded or discouraged me from going after Katniss even when my own mother berated me for wanting 'the Seam slut.'
"Haymitch, I told you he hasn't decided so there's no point in coming over,' Dad spoke into the receiver and then was silent as he listened. "Tell Garrett he should talk to his own daughter and stop bothering my son." He shook his head. "I know we said that we would wait until tonight…but Peeta hasn't said anything and I'm not about to push him so fuck off." He slammed the receiver onto the counter.
"Dad?" I started as I rocked Tyler in my arms. Being a parent was exhausting as I tended to his needs right after Prim left the house. Before dinner, I bathed and fed him. He was unsettled and fidgeted as he still sought out his parents who I knew he missed.
"Yeah Peet?" he returned his breath harsh and heavy.
"There something need to tell you," I started.
"What? Have you made your decision? Please don't rush it because I…we were going to talk to you and Katniss tonight," he returned. "I don't want you to decide if you're not sure."
"No it's not that," I said. Dad sighed in relief. I guess he wasn't ready for me to make a decision even though I had made one already. However, I wasn't going to tell just yet. I needed to see and talk to Katniss first.
"I'm a…I'm going to tell you this instead of hiding it from behind your back," I said.
"What is Peeta?" He looked scared but kept quiet to let me finish.
"I've been sneaking out of the house to see Katniss," I admitted. I waited for his reaction––to yell and scream at me for taking a risk not only myself but also Katniss.
He sighed and raised his head to stare at the ceiling. "I know Peeta." I looked up at the spot he was staring at. There was nothing. 'That was odd.' Then a second later he looked back at me.
"You did?" I uttered in astonishment.
"You and your brother have been sneaking out for years," Dad continued. "I just haven't said anything."
"You've known for years?"
"You weren't the only one. Graham and Rye had been sneaking before you. Even I did that when I was growing up in my parents' house," he smiled as if he was recalling a memory from his childhood––a life he never discussed.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I know you and brother's lives were…not easy living with your mother. She controlled all aspects of your life who was I to take away that little bit of freedom you had?"
"Thanks dad," I said in earnest.
"So I'm assuming that you're going to see Katniss later this evening?" I nodded my head.
"Just be careful."
"I know how to avoid the peacekeepers," I said.
"That's not what I meant," he began. My eyes grew wide and my mouth a dropped open in expectation of what he was implying. "You're…you're making sure that you don't get––"
"Dad!" I cried out in shock and embarrassment. "That's…" I closed my eyes and shook my head. This was not what I needed to hear. If he was about to lecture me about sex I was going to lose it.
"I'm not telling what to do, Peeta," he interjected. "I'm just asking you to be careful." He looked at Tyler who was settled in my arms fast asleep. "I already have Tyler and Delly is expecting. I'd like you to be married before you make me a grandpa." I blushed. The thought of having sex or making love to Katniss occupied my mind. However, I waited for her to initiate that kind of intimacy with each other. I'd never pushed her because I have waited for the most of life to love her and she was worth the wait. Dad stood up and headed towards the kitchen. He reached over to the top cabinet above the icebox and grabbed a ceramic pot I never knew existed.
He sat down beside me and set the pot on the coffee table. "Give me my grandson," he instructed me. I laid Tyler in his arms. "Look inside the pot."
I narrowed my eyes in suspicion hoping that the contents inside the ceramic pot were not what I expected. I lifted the top and placed it back with a resounding clang. Heat rose from my neck to my face.
"Shit, Dad," I gasped my cheeks grew hot and my ears red from embarrassment. Inside the pot were condoms. "This is embarrassing." I placed both hands at the side of my head and bent down between my legs.
"I want you to…have them," he said in a calm manner. "I can't stop you from having sex. That would be stupid of me to even suggest it but…I do want you to be careful. You and Katniss have a decision to make and having…a child now would be disastrous not because I don't think you can't handle it." He looked down on Tyler. "You both will be shouldering a lot of responsibilities and having a kid now because you weren't careful…"
"Thanks," I returned with a sigh of relief and hoped that the redness on my face subsided. Dad looked up and nudged me with his knee.
"Hey, don't be embarrassed," he chuckled as I raised myself to a sitting position. "Are you happy, Peeta?"
I was speechless for a few seconds. 'Are you happy?' his words repeated in my head. "Katniss makes me happy. That's all I can rely on." Dad acknowledged my response. He knew that happiness was fleeting because anything or anyone could take it away from you at moment's notice.
"Just remember that when things go bad and nothing makes sense to you," he advised me. "Life is bearable as long as you have a partner, someone you love to support and comfort you in the time of need."
His advice lingered in my mind as I snuck out the house an hour later. Well, I didn't exactly snuck out as dad walked me to the front door and looked out for me for any sign of Peacekeepers in the vicinity.
The thought of Katniss by my side comforted me. I was so engrossed in my thoughts as I waited for her by the doorway at the abandoned house that I was startled when a body slammed into me causing us to land on the floor with a loud thud. My back impacted the floor and before I could react a pair of soft lips assaulted me.
On top of me was Katniss, soft and yielding as she kissed me hard and demanding. I was out of breath by the time I recovered my senses. "Hey," she said with a glint in her eyes. She stood up right away and extended her hand to me to help me off the ground. Once I was on my feet, I felt dazed and exhilarated that I immediately wrapped my arms around her happy to be with her again. She giggled in my ears the sound lifting my spirits. I was glad that she felt brave enough to display her affections openly to me. This was a side of her that no one but me. To everyone who wasn't family knew her as strong, independent and intimidating. She still was but with me she was girl, soft, sweet and vulnerable. The duality of her personality made me love her more as I've gotten to know her better.
I led her deeper into the rundown, dilapidated home to hide us from being caught and exposure to the outer elements. Moments before her arrival I had placed a large thick blanket on the ground for us to sit upon and another blanket to wrap ourselves around with when the night air became chilly. I sat down first and gestured for her to sit beside me. Katniss, however had another idea as she sat on my lap instead. She wrapped one arm around my waist and nestled her head at the crook of my neck. She sighed.
"Comfy?" I teased her. She hummed in response. We sat in silence appreciating the warmth and comfort we shared together. As minutes passed I knew I had to breach a topic we both were ignoring. "Katniss?"
"Hmmm," she returned and adjusted herself on my lap. I winced as I tried to alleviate the ache between my legs. I couldn't help it.
"We really need to talk," I forced the words out of my mouth. I didn't want to but it was necessary. I didn't want the decision to fester in my mind.
"I know Peeta," she sighed and lifted her head from my shoulder. I distracted once again as she stared at me. She fingered a lock of hair that blocked one of my eyes. Her touch was soft as she traced her finger on my brow. "You have the most obscenely, longest lashes I have ever seen on a man." She called me a man. My heart leapt with pride but I knew what she was doing.
"Don't try to distract me," I scolded her with no heat in my tone. She licked her lips. 'Damnit, she was doing it again,' my inner bad boy voice echoed in my head. I was no saint that I could admit. Many a nights had I envisioned and dreamt of all the things I would do to her, with her. I was just like any other teenage boy as I fantasized having sex with the only girl I ever wanted. She starred in every dirty thought and fantasy. But the logical part of me knew that I wasn't a regular teen like most boys around me. I had suffered and endured too much to be like them. She shivered a few seconds later.
I wrapped a blanket around us. "I'll start." I took a deep breath. "Growing up in my house wasn't…easy. I mean most people assume that because we own bakery we had food to eat. But we didn't. Whatever was left that wasn't fresh was ours to eat. That meant eating three day old bread which become hard to eat. And my mom…"
"Peeta?" Katniss started.
"Don't say anything. Just let me say what I need to say." She nodded her head. "You know the situation with my mom. I'm not going to rehash the story of my life because I think by now, people…everyone knows how she treated my brothers and me." Katniss bit her lip. I knew she was tempted to say something but didn't. "For a long time, that was my life. I was resolved to live that kind of life…unwanted and unloved. Working at the bakery if I survived the reaping. I'm not saying this to get sympathy, I'm just letting you know the things I thought about to make my decision."
I closed my eyes and took a long deep breath. When I opened my eyes, Katniss laid her head back on my shoulder as if she knew her touch would settle me. "I never realized how I took things for granted, my brothers who I loved but never told them. My dad who I trusted to keep me safe, disappointed me most of my life. But despite that I still love him because he's my dad. As for mom, I thought as a good son I had to love her and accept her for who she was and that meant loving her unconditionally. But how could I love someone who only saw me as a burden, a mistake and made me feel it everyday since I was born. I just expected…" I stopped. The more I spoke the most difficult it was to express what I needed to say.
"What Peeta? What did you expect?" she asked.
"I thought if I did good in school, did everything she asked she would finally see me…love me. If I waited long enough she'll realize that she did love me. But I realized she never will," I said as the bitterness and resentment that I buried for years surfaced. I laughed. "I was so stupid…so foolish to have high hopes for her to love me in the end." Startled, Katniss lifted her head from my shoulder a look worry and…anger in her eyes.
"I accepted that Katniss," I said. "And do you know when I realized that she never will love me? Right after I was tortured by Cray. She never once visited me because I was hurt. She didn't feel any love or concern for me. She was embarrassed, Katniss."
"I'm sorry Peeta."
"Don't be," I said as I wiped tears that brimmed my eyes.
"Everything that has happened to you is my fault," she sobbed. 'What?'
"No," I said between clenched teeth. "Don't you fucking ever say that. That was Ivan's fault. He…he almost…" I couldn't finish the sentence. "Listen to me, Katniss and listen good because I'm only going to say this once. Nothing is your fault. Believe it."
"I can't––"
"I believe that things happen for a reason, a purpose. Like fate. I realized that everything that has happened to me was beyond my control…like I was destined for something. I may not like the outcome and how it affected me but it made me realize one thing."
"What's that?" she asked as she wiped tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. I tugged her closer to me my fingers interlocking in tight grip.
"All this, Ivan, Cray, President Snow and MockingJay," I listed. "Everything that has happened led me to this." I tugged at the back of her waist. "To you. To us." Her eyes grew wide in astonishment and disbelief. "Can't you see? Everything and everyone I encountered led me to you."
"Peeta, that's…not right," she retorted. "How can all your experiences with Snow, Cray and MockingJay can be thought of as something positive? You almost died when Cray…you didn't have to experience all that to…get me to notice you."
"That's not what I meant––"
"You've been whipped, drugged over and over, and you lost your brother Graham. This is not some romantic love story…I can't believe that all that you've been through was for us to get together. It shouldn't have come to this––" She stood up and started to pace.
"Then tell me, Katniss," I said in frustrated tone as I stood up as well. "Then why did all this happen to me?" I pointed to myself. "I'm no fighter the thought of violence makes me ill. I'm a fucking baker." My breath was ragged. "I have to bb..b..elieve that there is purpose and reason for everything that happened to me because if there isn't…I'm ju…juust a tool for everyone to use and pu…pu..push around." My anger and frustration grew that my stutter surfaced. I held my breath for a moment and calmed myself.
"Peeta––" She extended a hand to reach out to me. I flinched and stepped back because if she touched me I'd lose it.
"Just don't…" I took another step back. "I'm not a hero, or fighter or a killer, but I already have split blood on my hands. I hate violence and yet death seems to touch the people around me. I wanted to live a peaceful life with only girl I ever wanted…but fate seems to have other plans for me. I'm being pushed into a role I never wanted in war I didn't want to get involve in but here I am…being courted by two men who want to use me for their own agenda. Never thinking about what I want. But who cares what I want?"
"I don't understand how you can believe that everything that has happened to you is a good thing," she said soft and calm. "I would never wish that on you and I would hate to think that you think that's why we're together. That it's the only reason why I'm with you because of all the bad things that happened."
I turned my back on her. Because to me what else could have happened to have her notice to me? "And you're wrong…I noticed you long before Ivan showed up. I was just too angry and bitter with the world to admit it. I was scared of how you made me feel. I felt things…feelings that I needed to deny because I was resolved to live unmarried and with no children."
"I'm sorry I ruined your plans," I sighed in resignation.
"Damnit, Peeta," she seethed. "You know I'm not good with words. I'm trying to explain how I felt at the time."
"I'm not…I didn't say that to be mean." I hated that our night resulted to this––she at one end of the room apart and fighting. "All I'm trying to say is…my life is not my own. It hasn't been for sometime long before Ivan showed up. I was the dutiful son to a woman who hated me and had a father who didn't protect me. I grew up on my own without guidance and direction but I knew I was a born a baker. I was content to be a baker and nothing more. There was only one thing…one person I wanted all my life since I heard her sing when I was five. You were my purpose and direction. "
"You're more than that," she interjected. "You are…are more than just a baker."
"Baking is all I know, but something happened that derailed…changed my life forever. Like something was telling me I was more than I was meant to be…I've ignored it, fought against it."
"What are you saying?" she asked as she took a step forward her arms wrapped around her waist.
"I'm going to do it. I don't know what you've decided but I'm…volunteering to fight with MockingJay," I announced.
"I thought…I thought we were going to decide this together," she stated.
"You have to weigh your options…I can only decide for me."
"I don't know what to do," she admitted. "The only thing I know is that I have to protect Prim…she's all I ever loved and want to keep safe from harm." I nodded and understood her because Rye, Dad, Delly and Tyler were the only people I cared about most in the world; they were my family. "But I also…care about you...a lot. You're important to me. I have never cared for anyone besides family the way I care about you. I…need you in my life."
"I need you too," I said with a sad smile. "But the decision you make has to be about you."
"I know that, but…I'm scared. I'm afraid of the repercussions, the consequences. If we do this, Peeta innocent people will die…not by our hands but with us getting involved. They'll fight for us. You just said you're not a fighter or a killer. Are you saying that you're ready to…take another life?" She reminded of the life I took in the forest when we got stuck sleeping overnight in the woods. The same day Graham and Sonja died and District 12 was attacked by mutt dogs. Sometimes, I imagined blood coating my hands ––the image forever etched in my mind.
"To protect the people I love, yes," I said with enough confidence I could muster. I stepped forward and eliminated the distance between us. With my arms around her waist, I placed my head on her shoulder. "I know that we haven't been together long…but you have to know…I've been obvious with how I feel about you." I raised my head to look into her eyes. "You need to know that you are and have been the most important person in my life."
She smiled. "So are you. You have become next to Prim the most important person in my life too. That's why I needed to talk to you. I can't…I can't decide this on my own."
"Katniss," I exhaled.
"I…I never had anyone to talk to…to consult things before you came along," she confessed. "I mean, I have Prim and we can talk about anything but…not with things like this." I wondered why since I talked to Prim just this morning, her opinion mattered to me. Why didn't Katniss discuss this with Prim? "We're talking about killing people, Peeta. I don't want to talk about that with Prim."
"I had my brothers but I never really talked to them…and told them things that I told you," I stated. "I wanted to talk to Rye but he's biased. He wants to get involved for the wrong reasons. Because of me. He wants revenge for Graham and for me."
"I…think you're a factor in my decision," she said.
"Katniss, that's not right," I argued. "Think about what we'll be doing, who's going to be affected and what will happen if anything happens to us if…we fail."
"Peeta, let me finish what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to sort things out in my head. Of course, I thought of all that but…you…and Prim are biggest factors in my decision making. The two most important people in my life that I…care about. I love my parents of course, but…if I decide to do this it's because of the both of you."
"Katniss," I sighed.
"Don't do that…try to diminish you're importance in my life. You said that all this…that everything that has happened to you gave you purpose…that it led me to you. Well, it did the same for me. You're my purpose. The one person I know I can rely on. When Haymitch asked us to think about joining them, my immediate reaction was hell no because I thought of you and Prim. I know its' selfish of me when other people…hell the nation of Panem is relying on us let alone MockingJay."
"It's a big responsibility," I reminded her. "When all is said and done, will you be able to live with yourself––knowing that you killed…people, made decisions that cost innocent lives to die. Will you…come back mentally unscathed from the horror that we'll see and experience?"
"Can you?" she shot back. I thought about it for a few seconds. The arguments I had in my head that swayed back and forth. "Haymitch said that they needed us together with MockingJay that together we're the symbol of hope. Can you go on and join even if I decided against it?"
Could I go to war leave Katniss behind knowing that Snow could get to her and my family? I knew the answer. "No, I can't," I admitted. "I know I've decided to join the rebellion without talking to you. But I can also admit that I don't…can't do this without you."
"Then let's decide this together," she pleaded. "I don't want to decide my future unless you have some input." I was about to argue with her because I had decided on my own, but she cut me off. "You've had crush on me since you were five…you have me now. It may have taken me longer to admit that I…wanted you but you're stuck with me now. We're a couple now, Peeta. We...need to decided together." She made a valid point. We were a couple and couples made decisions together even though we had only known each other for 3 months. Did couples with the short length of relationship made serious decisions together? To place our trust with one another and to decide each other's future?
Graham and Sonja knew each other for close to year before getting engaged. Rye and Delly dated for two years before marrying. My relationship with Katniss wasn't even half the length of my brother's relationships. But, Katniss and I were not any ordinary couple.
So we sat back down on the blanket and discussed the pros and cons. We argued back and forth the consequences and ramifications of our involvement, how it would affect our families and love ones. The decision we faced was daunting and heavy on our hearts. But it was clear that when we ultimately decided, our decision affected the both of us in the end. We volunteer together or don't volunteer at all without each other.
"I only have one stipulation," Katniss stated as a final point. "If we join MockingJay…we will only trust a handful of people that includes our fathers and Haymitch."
"I totally agree."
"And you will not…make any decisions without me. That we will protect each other," she inferred.
"That goes without saying." I kissed her forehead. "I can't wait to see you in a rebel uniform," I quipped back to alleviate the tension between us.
"Peeta, I mean it," she pressed. "I can't do this knowing who you are and what kind of risks you're willing take to protect me and your family."
"I can't do this either. You have to promise that you won't make any decisions without me as well. And take the same risks because I know you…I know your heart, what you're capable of to keep your family safe," I retorted. "So you see, I know you as well."
"Then it's decided," she blurted exhaustion obvious in her tone. "We'll tell everyone the after the reaping ceremony." I nodded my head since she knew no words were necessary.
"We better head home," I said with great reluctance. "I promised Dad that I wouldn't stay out too late."
"I told Prim that I wouldn't stay out too long myself," Katniss said as she nestled her head on my shoulder. "She's scared."
"I don't blame her," I returned. "This is my last year no more lottery for me." Katniss smiled wide and toothy. Seeing her this happy was rare. I didn't want to let her go. This time tomorrow I wasn't sure if Snow would rig the lottery even though Haymitch assured me that my name wouldn't be picked out of bowl. I held Katniss for a few more minutes relishing the closeness we developed.
I walked Katniss home my arm wrapped around her waist not wanting to be apart from her. I kissed her good night. The kiss was long and passionate like most of our kisses. This one however, felt deeper and with more significance. She must have felt it too.
"Peeta, do you think…" she started. She bit her lip. "Can we meet tomorrow at the house again?"
"Yes, of course," I smirked. She toyed with a button on my shirt her eyes downcast.
"What I mean is…I'm ready to move forward…you know," she blushed bright red. I waited for her to say what she needed to say. "You said that we should talk about…stuff before we do…stuff." I held back a smile. I was pleased that she was nervous as I was with the level of our intimacy but still wanted to discuss it with me. I didn't want to anything to scare her off. That I would do something she wasn't comfortable with.
"What is it you want to do?" I asked. It was important to me that I didn't misconstrue or misunderstand what she wanted from me. There was no room for any misunderstanding between us. She leaned over and whispered in my ear. My eyes grew wide and my lower body pulsed at her request.
"Really?" I said with wonder, awe and a bit of fear. She nodded her head then ducked as she pressed her forehead on my shoulder. "Hey, you know I can't say no to you so…you have a date tomorrow night at the house."
She smiled back. I sensed relief and anticipation in her demeanor. "See you tomorrow at the reaping ceremony." Her smiled faded but I kissed her one last time before leaving. I made sure she was breathless when we parted.
"See you tomorrow," she repeated back. I watched her enter her home. With a big smile on my face I snuck back to my home. There were so many errands I needed to do before our date tomorrow night. Before I fell asleep I pondered at the decision we made together and the plans we made for tomorrow night. The last thing I remembered was her kisses before I fell asleep.
Katniss POV ––
My nerves were raw from fear and anxiety. I woke up the next morning with Prim thrashing next to me in midst of a nightmare. "Prim, wake up," I said as I nudged her by the shoulders. "You're having a bad dream."
Her eyes remained close as she struggled to scream in her sleep. I nudged her again. When she opened her eyes, her blue orbs filled with fear. "Katniss?" she said her voice thick with sleep.
"You were having a nightmare," I told her. She closed eyes for a second and opened them again.
"What time is it?" she asked as she rubbed sleep from here eyes.
"A little after six. You want to talk about it?" When dad almost died from the mining accident Prim had nightmares for months afterwards. She dreamt that everyone died and she was left all alone. It didn't help that mom abandoned us when we needed her the most so she clung to me, never far away from my proximity. She was scared to lose me. But with time, her nightmares abated.
Today, however she had a nightmare and it made me wonder what instigated it. "No, it wasn't anything new" she replied. "There the same ones I've had since dad almost died all those years ago."
"I didn't know you've been having them. Why didn't you say anything?" I accused her.
"Because you've been going through a lot with Peeta and like I said they're nothing new to talk about." She sat up and turned her back on me. "I haven't had one until today and you know why." The lottery. Today at nine we were to assemble at the Justice Building courtyard for the reaping ceremony.
I was no longer eligible for the lottery. But that didn't mean that the nightmare was over. My heart ached as I thought about the two most important people in life––Prim and Peeta, both blond haired and blue eyed. You could have sworn that when they stood next to each other that they were brother and sister. I loved them both so much that if I lost one of them my world would shatter.
"You only have one slip in the bowl Prim," I tried to comfort her. "The Normans have more chances of having their names picked than you." The Norman family had six kids, four boys and two girls. Each child had four slips in the bowl. I tried to convince myself that the odds of Prim being selected were small. I hid my fears from her because it would do no good to scare her so I tried to comfort her as best as I could.
"Girls," mom called out to us through the door. "Get dressed." Without a single word, we rose from the bed and dressed quickly. Prim wore a light blue dress that I used to own when I was her age. As for me I wore a dark green dress that I knew Peeta loved.
We both walked out the door and noticed that mom and dad standing in the living room. There was no breakfast or food on the table. "What's going on?" I asked. I didn't really have an appetite especially today but mom usually forced us to eat. Last year I was so nervous food was the last thing on my mind, but I was glad that mom encouraged me to eat because I almost fainted at the reaping ceremony from anxiety and fear.
"We're having breakfast with the Mellarks," Dad announced. Not to argue with my parents, I practically ran towards the bakery once we left home.
The first thing I did when we reached the shop was wrap my arms around Peeta. He looked exhausted as if he hadn't slept. "You okay?" It was a stupid question but…
"I'm fine now that you're here," he returned.
All during breakfast everyone was quiet and somber. My stomach was in knots that I could barely focus at the food in front of me. "Eat something Katniss," Peeta whispered in my ear. "You're going to need your strength when we meet up later on this evening." I blushed as I recalled the request I made last night. I was embarrassed but certain of what I wanted to do with him the next time we were alone together.
I whispered that I wanted to try 'oral' the next time we were together because I wasn't ready to have sex. The thought scared me. And I knew that my boyfriend would never push me into doing anything that would make me uncomfortable but at the same time I wanted more. I made the effort as I forced food into my mouth. Peeta knew me as he placed two cheese buns on my plate that included bacon and scrambled eggs.
"Eggs?" I said to Peeta knowing that it was in item reserved for public consumption.
"Special occasion," he returned with a smile.
I held onto Peeta's hand my grip tight. Prim held my other hand while our parents walked behind us. Rye, Delly and her parents joined us a few minutes later. Delly looked sick. Rye explained that her morning sickness worsen. I felt bad for them especially Rye who had to watch his pregnant wife participate in the reaping ceremony. If she survived this, it was her last.
A large crowd formed at the Justice Building. Peeta bade his dad and Rye goodbye. He kissed Tyler on the forehead for luck. Delly was in tears as Rye comforted her.
"I'll see you after the ceremony, Delly," he said. "Think positive thoughts, okay?" Delly was speechless as she nodded her head then kissed her husband. "You'll come back to me when this is over. Just remember that." Their farewell brought tears to my eyes.
"Katniss, don't cry," Peeta said as he ran his hand up and down my back. "Prim and I are going to be okay."
"You can't promise me that," I sobbed. He smelled of yeast and flour. I wanted to hold onto him forever and never let him go. I could lose him today, both Prim and him. "Dry your eyes and go to your sister. She needs you now." I looked back at him his hair was slicked back. He exuded strength and confidence qualities I lacked at the moment. I wanted to say the words I've kept to myself for so long but something still held me back. Before I could voice them, he kissed me soft and sweet. "See you after the ceremony."
Reluctantly I let him go. He walked over to Delly and extended her hand to him. She reached out and grabbed it.
Prim ran into my arms clutching me tight. "Hey, what's with the tears?" I said as I wiped them from her cheeks. Her nose was red and eyes puffy. "I'll come get you after the ceremony." She nodded her head. Then she hugged me one last time.
"Prim," Peeta called out to her. "Come walk with me." He extended his other hand to her. She ran to him and hugged him tight around the waist. Peeta kissed the top of her head. I nearly lost it seeing them together like that. I held back a sob that was caught in my throat.
A hand appeared on my shoulder. "Come on Katniss," mom spoke. "We need to be at the courtyard." I nodded my head but looked at Peeta with Prim and Delly as they walked over to the registry table. Each child was to report at the tables set up before the lottery. They gave a small blood sample to confirm their identity. It was mandatory to ensure that everyone was present––no exceptions, it didn't matter if you were sick or disabled.
I looked around me––I saw Hazelle Hawthorne with Vic and Posy. The little girl was crying beside her as Vic stared after his brother Rory. As for Rory, he was looking intently at the distance in front of him at the girl's section. He was staring at Prim. The look he sent her was…of fear and something I had missed but recognized. He was looking at Prim the way Peeta looked me from distance. Oh my god how did I missed it? That Rory Hawthorne had a crush on my little sister Prim? It was staring at me in front of my face and I never saw it. But then wasn't I guilty of that with Peeta when I caught him staring at me during our class? The shy smile and wistful look on his face before he turned his head when he thought I wasn't looking.
Jimmy and Rye stood next to me as the Cartwrights, and Edgewoods were behind them. I had forgotten that Peeta's only surviving sister in law was still eligible for the reaping ceremony. Mrs. Edgewood held Tyler in her arms her face wet with tears. She too lost a daughter during the dog attacks a few weeks back. There was a possibility that she could lose Katja today as well. At the last second, Agatha Berridge caught my eye. She was present at the ceremony as the law demanded. She smiled and raised her hand her two fingers crossed together––a gesture of good luck sent my way for Peeta. I nodded and smiled back in appreciation. Dad and mom stood behind me
The courtyard was filled with citizen of District 12 old and young with a battalion of Peacekeepers surrounding the area. The sounds of drums and fanfare blasted in the air. Mayor Undersee approached the stand accompanied by the most ridiculous woman I have ever seen. Each year she announced herself, and each year I ignored her as she stood next to our only Victor Mr. Haymitch Abernathy. I recalled last year the relief I felt when the ceremony was over. I had survived my reaping age no longer eligible for the next ceremony. The relief was short lived when I realized that my Prim still had years left and I couldn't volunteer to take her place. I've been scared for her ever since.
But now as I looked around the courtyard which was filled with Merchant and Seam classmates, two stuck out––two people who meant more to me than my life. I stared at Prim who was biting her lower lip––a sign that she was nervous and scared.
"Katniss?" a voice disrupted my thoughts. It was Madge. She too passed her reaping age the same year as I did. "Is it okay that I stand here with you? If you don't mind?" Words failed as I nodded my head in response. She greeted everyone around her. I smirked for she was definitely her father's daughter, the Mayor of District 12.
"Where's your brother Toby?" I noticed that her 10-year old brother didn't accompany her. She pointed towards the front of the crowd.
"Over there with my mom," she stated. Before I could ask why she was standing with me instead of her family, a low buzzing sound filled the air. It originated high above us. In midair were four drones hovering over the courtyard. These were new, bigger and noisier. Underneath the drones were cameras. You could tell because of the way it moved and scanned the courtyard. I swore one of them was focused on us as the lens was aimed at our direction. The other focused on…Peeta. I didn't like this. I felt the air shift like something ominous was about to happen and because of it I couldn't keep my eyes off Peeta.
My Boy with the Bread was surrounded in the midst of his classmates who were fidgeting on their feet. My boyfriend stood proud and tall his face calm and his eyes unreadable. He turned and my caught my eyes. A slow smile appeared his eyes soften as he mouthed 'hi' to me. My heart melted and my knees shook. I said 'hi' back.
I should have said it, three simple words that were caught in my throat, but I took the coward's way out. I rationalized that I wanted to say it later after the ceremony because I didn't want to say it out of desperation, as he was about to participate on his last reaping ceremony. My mind rationalized that we had time. Nevertheless, I should have told him that I loved him desperately, hopelessly and unconditionally.
"Ladies and gentleman," the green haired Capitol woman spoke. "Welcome to the 74th Hunger Games." My eyes quickly drifted to Prim and Delly. My little sister looked scared. They all did. Green hair spoke and said a few words. Mayor Undersee made a trite and rehearsed statement after her. I couldn't help but look at Prim and Peeta as the ceremony continued. The next thing I knew Green Hair approached the glass bowl. She dipped her inside a piece of paper between her finger tips. I held my breath.
"This year's District 12 Tribute is Primrose Everdeen," she announced. Someone screamed as voices in my head echoed her words. 'Primrose Everdeen, Primrose Everdeen.'
I didn't want to believe it, but my world came crashing down on me as I watched my 14-year old sister walked down the path escorted by two Peacekeepers. I wanted to volunteer but couldn't. I wanted to run to her but someone held me by the waist and arms. "Prim, Prim," I screamed.
Green Hair spoke again. My throat hurt from screaming as I struggled to remain upright. I was losing Prim and there was nothing I could do about it.
"As for this year's male tribute for District 12," she said as reached inside the bowl again taking out another piece of paper. "This year's male tribute for this year's 74th Hunger Game for District 12is George Norman." I sighed in relief for a few seconds knowing that Peeta was safe.
Mrs. Norman screamed but before George was escorted down to the platform a familiar voice spoke out loud and clear.
"I volunteer as tribute, I volunteer as tribute," he said. I turned my head and my world collapsed again with a punch to the stomach. My heart shattered further. The volunteer was none other than Peeta. Peeta Mellark.
AN: Please no flames. I debated on this reaping ceremony for months. And yes, it was difficult but I do have my reasons. Please review at your leisure. I hope that most of you will continue to take this journey with me to its' conclusion. Have a great rest of the week. I will try to update soon.
