In one summary, it was a blur. Dean had no idea what was going on as he sat in the little hospital room staring down at the figure in the bed. Dean's eyes drifted around across the pale white walls towards the window seeing sunrise on the horizon. His emotions were haywire and it had been a very long night.
Dean flicked his eyes up when a young doctor came in giving him a nod and a small smile.
"Are you sure you don't want one of the nurses to get you a coffee?"
"No"
The doctor nodded looking over the bleeping machine and down to bed. Dean looked over to Castiel strapped to every wire, machine, and oxygen tank that was keeping him alive. He didn't know how he was going to tell him that he had died three times and Dean had to watch every time.
"He's very lucky to be alive" he murmured.
Dean shot a glare at him. "Why does everyone keep saying that?"
"Because it's true? The bullet missed every vital organ, vein, artery, and he's alive" the doctor replied.
"What's your name?"
"Adam"
"Well, Adam, the guy that I love died in my arms, then he was brought back, and then he died all over again and again and again" Dean said staring up at him with watery eyes. "Three times and you're telling me he's lucky to be alive? Cas is strapped to every machine to keep him alive…I don't think he's out of the woods just yet!"
Dean shouted the last word causing Adam to step back a little alarmed. Dean swallowed looking over to Castiel with a breathing tube stuck down his throat and his eyes shut as he remained there in his comatose state.
"I'm sorry…it's been three days and I've had about two hours sleep"
Adam frowned in concern pocketing his pen and moving back towards him. "Then I would advise you sleep, sir, Castiel won't wake for some time"
Dean looked over to Castiel and shook his head. "His brother and sister are sleeping right now and I promised them I wouldn't leave him"
Adam frowns and notices the chair he is sitting on isn't all that comfortable.
"I could be in a lot of trouble for saying this but…" he said gesturing over to the empty bed. "You are welcome to use it"
Dean looked over to the bed and had to agree that he had thought about it once or twice.
"But if we need it, you'll have to move"
"Thanks, man" he said nodding at Adam who gave him a small smile and glanced over to Castiel a final time. Dean sighed standing up and pressing his lips over his forehead.
"I'm gonna nap, I feel like death, so don't wake up just yet…I love you" he murmured stroking a thumb down his cheek and moving away to sit on the bed and rolled onto his side. Sleep welcomed him with open arms as he closed his eyes and drifted off. His dreams were full of blood, anger, and despair. Dean watched as Charles shot Castiel over and over again, the look of shock and horror on Castiel's face would never fade from his memory. Dean is stuck in his dream and can only watch in horror as Castiel slides to the floor dead. Blood seeps out of the wound while Dean watches Charles howl with laughter, he exhales shakily filled with an overwhelming hatred till the gun is turned on him and he's shot.
Dean woke with a gasp staring up at Anna who's smiling down at him.
"Hey?" he murmured in a croaky voice sitting up to see Gabriel in his place.
"We let you sleep" Anna said stepping back.
"How long have I been out?" he murmured looking at his watch and gaping in surprise. "Nearly five hours"
"You needed it" Gabriel muttered gruffly from near the bed. Dean looked up at it and nodded in agreement.
Since the accident three days ago, Gabriel had hardly spoken to Dean; Dean had hardly spoken to Gabriel. He knew the conversation on how the hell he is Castiel's mysterious guy was upcoming but he suspected Anna had given him the lowdown. It surprised Dean that he hadn't been punched and thrown out of the hospital and was just grateful he was able to be here with Castiel.
Dean sat on the edge of the bed staring over at an immobile Castiel and felt sick to his core. He had told the truth when he said Castiel had died three times, once in his arms, and twice in the ambulance, the moment he was taken to hospital he was rushed into theatre to remove the bullet. Since then, Castiel had remained in a coma with no sign of waking up.
It was a Wednesday now and Dean had not returned to work, they rang him on the Monday afternoon to ask him why he was wasn't in work and Dean simply replied. "I quit"
Martin had ringed and ringed him but he had no time to discuss it with him, Dean had quit his job and that was that.
"Toilet" he murmured moving out of the room and down the corridor to check his phone and saw another missed call from Sam. Sam had been frantic trying to get information out of Dean who was unwilling to give. How could he tell his own brother he had quit his job and he was now at the side of the guy he loved who was also an eighteen year old student?
Dean splashed cold water in his face and looked up at the mirror to see tired green eyes reflecting pain and sadness deep within, bags shadowing those eyes, and hint of a beard he frowned at. Dean looked like a mess and it didn't when his constant worry was Castiel. Dean needed and wanted him to wake up, he needed to see those blue eyes awake and staring into his and then he could feel a sense of calm and even peace.
Anna looked up when Dean returned sipping from a carton of juice. "Little old lady insisted"
Anna gave him a weak smile looking over to Gabriel who cleared his throat looking towards Dean.
"Our dad is dead" he murmured. Dean blinked looking towards Anna who bit her soft bottom lip looking down at her lap.
"What?"
"Hung himself in his cell with a piece of wire he bought from a cellmate, they couldn't save him… I'm glad"
"Gabriel" Anna hissed looking over to him.
Gabriel returned the glare and pointed a finger at Castiel. "Our daddy shot our little brother and you're judging me for saying I'm glad? I'm over the fucking moon the bastard's dead"
"He was still our father" she whispered.
Gabriel snorted bitterly and shook his head. "I have no father"
Anna blinked feeling tears fill her eyes as she looked down and let them fall. Dean felt uncomfortable and nervous as he looked at Castiel's sleeping face. Dean grabbed Castiel's hand and pressed warm lips over his knuckles and closed his eyes resting there. Gabriel watched him closely and coughed for his attention.
"You have got to be around my age, you're his teacher, and you're sleeping with my little brother aren't you?" Gabriel said suddenly. Dean opened his eyes looking over to him and nodded once.
"Look, I know you have plenty to say and I'm not gonna call you wrong but I care about him a lot, more than I ever imagined, and I never wanted this to happen. I didn't want us to happen but it did. It happened on October 31st and I don't regret a thing, the only thing I regret is not quitting my job sooner and being older than he is"
Gabriel narrowed his eyes at him and frowned glancing over to Castiel.
"You made him happy"
"I guess"
"No, you did…Castiel really closed up after what dad did to him, he was like an empty shell and then all of the sudden a mysterious guy comes along and he's like a ball of energy" Gabriel murmured staring at Castiel. "He wouldn't come home and when he did he was practically fucking glowing with happiness and then it stopped. I guess that's when you ended it and he became like his former self"
Anna looked up at Dean with a nod.
"You changed him for the better"
"I'm not going to say the age thing isn't a little weird, I mean you're my age and it's a little creepy but…Castiel was never the one to stick to the rules. I saw how you were with him in the warehouse and I can't deny, we can't deny, that you care about him a lot and him too"
Dean nodded slowly hearing the beeping over his head and starting to feel a little insane himself.
"So I'm going to say this, you hurt him in any way possible, I will make sure you will never walk again, never speak and only eat through one of those bendy straws" Gabriel warned flashing his eyes over to him. Anna smirked a little amused and Dean nodded once again.
"I know"
"So, you wake up" Gabriel muttered poking Castiel's cheek. "Come on, little bro, we've had the weekend from hell and now the week"
Castiel stayed motionless simply breathing in and out.
"We could try smelling oils"
"That wouldn't work, Gabe, leave him alone. He'll wake up when he's good and ready"
Anna looked down at her watch and bit her lip again. "We have work"
"Shit! Okay, you call us if anything happens!" Gabriel said pointing his finger at Dean.
"Sure thing" he murmured when they walked out of the room to go to their jobs.
Dean sighed deeply bending over and kissing the corner of Castiel's mouth.
"Please wake up soon, you're driving me insane" he murmured resting there for a moment before kicking back and grabbing a magazine to cure the boredom.
"Story here about a woman whose husband is sleeping with her sister, her mom, and her daughters best friend…kinky sonofabitch" Dean muttered flipping it open to read it and realising it was now nearly lunchtime. His stomach growled for attention and he huffed throwing the magazine down.
"Okay, calm down" he murmured and stopped realising he was talking to himself. Dean glanced at Castiel who was still the same and turned to go out of the room when a choking sound startled him.
"Cas?"
~0~
Castiel felt like he was swamped in dark, damp, cold, mud and there was no escape. Pain and aches ran across his body and his stomach was on fire. His mind was whirring with images he didn't understand as he saw blood, pained expressions, Dean, and a never ending black hole. Castiel cried out helplessly trapped in his own mind when he heard a soft familiar voice in his ear.
"Please wake up soon, you're driving me insane"
Dean. Castiel's heart pounded hard in his chest and he tried to open his eyes but was met with resistance, he was terrified and tried to swallow but was stopped by something lodged in his throat.
"Cas!" he heard and moaned tossing his head. Warm hands and a reassuring voice followed and the object was removed allowing him to suck in a breath.
"Castiel? Can you hear me? I want you to open your eyes" a soft voice said and he opened them seeing nothing but colours and blurs till it focused and a man with soft blonde hair came into view.
"Can you see me?"
Castiel blinked confused and nodded looking around the hospital room till he caught sight of someone very familiar.
"Dean"
Dean moved forward not thinking or questioning and cupped his cheeks softly kissing him fiercely. Castiel responded immediately as he opened his mouth stroking his tongue against his gently and letting out a breath when Dean parted from him.
Pressing his forehead against his, Dean breathed out in relief.
"Hey, baby" he murmured when Castiel moaned kissing his top lip. Adam coughed feeling uncomfortable.
"Oh yeah" he murmured pulling back so Adam could look over him.
"How are you feeling, Castiel?"
"Sore" he croaked and winced at the scratchy feeling in the back of his throat. "Water"
Dean grabbed the water next to him and tilted his head up so he could take a drink.
"Better?" he whispered and smiled when he nodded.
"I was shot, he shot me" Castiel whispered looking over to Dean who nodded gritting his jaw tight.
"Yes, you suffered a horrific injury but we managed to bring you back, operate in time to remove the bullet and restore lost blood" Adam said looking down at chart. "How's the pain?"
"It hurts" Castiel murmured.
Adam nodded giving him more pain medication and waited till a more relaxed expression ghosted his face.
"You're lucky to be alive, it was a bad shot and missed every vital organ" Adam said before taking his leave. Dean looked over to Castiel who blinked and moaned.
"I died didn't I?"
Dean nodded again and sat down on the bed moving his head to kiss his forehead, over his closed eyes, his nose, his cheeks, and finally his mouth.
"You died in my arms, I looked away for one moment and you were gone" Dean muttered feeling tears coat his throat and eyes. "They brought you back but you died again in the ambulance two times…I thought you were goner, Cas, you lost so much blood and who survives getting shot these days?"
"Me" Castiel murmured touching his cheek with his fingertips.
"Yes, you" he whispered pressing his lips over his kissing him slowly. Dean couldn't help it and the thought of losing him had sent him into a frenzy. Castiel responded gripping the back of his hair scraping his nails into his scalp and tasting old coffee and mint.
"I better call Gabriel and Anna" Dean murmured against the skin of his jaw.
"Dean, what happened to my father?"
Dean swallowed straightening up and lacing their hands together. "After he accidently shot you, Charles was arrested and taken back to Colorado waiting his trial. Gabriel told me just before that Charles hung himself in his cell"
Castiel sucked in a shocked breath. "He's dead?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry, Cas" Dean murmured pressing his lips over his knuckles.
Castiel blinked looking away and nodded. "It's fine, my father was dead to me already and now it's official"
Dean licked his bottom lip knowing how he was feeling and held his hand tight.
"I love you" Castiel said suddenly making him smile and lean over to him nuzzling his cheek.
"I love you too, baby, and now I'm going to call your brother and sister"
"They both now don't they?"
"Yes, Gabriel threated to kill me if I ever hurt you"
Castiel snorted amused and shifted with a moan of pain. "He's very protective"
"Cas?"
"Yes?"
"I quit my job" he murmured looking down into his lap and over to Castiel who blinked at him confused.
"Why?"
"Because I want to be with you and I can't because of my job, I meant what I said when I told you I want our little fairy-tale"
Castiel smiled weakly and nodded. "I understand"
Dean winked at him and dialled Anna's number who answered after two rings.
"He's awake"
"Yes!" Anna shouted so loud that Dean held the phone away. Castiel pressed his lips into a line amused looking down at the covers tightly around him. Thanks to the medication the pain was subsiding and he felt a little better. The knowledge that his father was now dead had shocked him deeply but there was no sadness, no remorse, and he couldn't a person who had nearly killed him twice. How could you be sad about someone as evil as that? It didn't matter to Castiel that the bullet that was shot at him wasn't deliberate, he had died and was brought back to life but he shouldn't have died in the first place.
Castiel's eyes strayed to Dean who was now on the phone to Gabriel. He loved this man more than anything in the world, he didn't know if he could love him anymore than he already did but he was proven wrong. Every day he fell a little bit more in love with him and couldn't imagine his life now without him. It still baffled Castiel that they had got this far and he still remembered the first moment he saw Dean and never imagined this would happen. Dean ended the call spinning on his heel to face him and sat back down on the bed.
"They're both trying to get out of work early to come see you" Dean murmured when Castiel tugged him down so Dean curled around him. "I don't know if this is allowed, I could hurt you"
"You won't and I want you here" Castiel replied pressing his forehead against his. "Have you been here all this time?"
"I would never leave your side, the nurses were pissed at me" he muttered and chuckled when Castiel rolled his eyes.
"You've quit your job, Dean, that's a big step"
"I know, I had no income anymore and I'll probably lose my apartment but…I don't care" Dean said with a shrug. "I could have the best job in the world and a shit load of money but I wouldn't have you and that wouldn't be enough for me"
"Why?"
Dean trailed his hand up to curl his fingers into his hair.
"People set out to get jobs and careers from as early as sixteen years old; they need that to get money so they'll have a nice long future. Whilst doing that they forget the most important parts, family and love. I have my family, I have my career, and I have my money but for a long time I had no one, I was alone and then I met you" Dean said and realised he was slowly talking his way into a classic chic flick. "You were just a normal student, gorgeous, intelligent, and a keen eye that meant if you want something, you got it. You fascinated me, Cas, in ways I couldn't imagine and I hated you a little"
"Oh" Castiel breathed shocked and amused and Dean kissed him gently.
"It changed when I realised how much I actually did like you, I liked you a lot more than I should. I shouldn't have taken such an interest in you and that drove me to invite you to private lessons. When you kissed me, you unlocked the door I had permanently sealed away when I was sixteen. I hated you again, you were in my thoughts, my dreams, and I longed to know what it would be like to kiss you again when I shouldn't have"
Castiel listened intently hearing Dean open his heart up to him again like last time. It was a rare moment and he knew Dean would never, ever, say it again.
"But you're a flirting dick and you teased me rotten" he whispered and shook his head when Castiel grinned. "I couldn't help myself on Halloween, you looked gorgeous and I took you because I wanted you and then the desk…"
Castiel flushed pressing lips to Dean's cheek bone. Dean grinned clucking his tongue between his teeth.
"You're amazing in bed, I hope you know that"
"Shut up"
"I'm being serious, you're young, gorgeous, and lean" he murmured raking his eyes down his body wrapped in a hospital gown. "It's in my top five of best nights ever"
"You have a top five?"
"Shush" Dean said placing his hand over his lips. "After that we just took off, a blowjob in a cupboard, and then Jo's party where I took you back to mine and I fucked you and then we talked about families, friends, and everything else. I opened my heart up to you and didn't realise at the time you were taking it from me. Then you told me about what happened to you and it meant you trusted me enough to tell me something as big as that"
"It's when I started to realise I was falling fast for you and it fucking terrified me because I was your teacher and the thought of going to prison for something like this just didn't fit for me. We had that snow day and I took you out telling you about Cassie, telling you my favourite films, food, and I was opening my heart even more"
Castiel smiled at the memory resting his head in the crook of his arm knowing the feeling.
"Then my dad died and you were there for me, you never left my side"
"I would have never left you"
"Then we spent Christmas together and then…you told me you loved me and I shoved you out because you scared me so much. You loved me" Dean said cupping his cheeks.
"No, I love you, not loved"
"Then you met Balthazar" Dean said rolling his eyes. "Do you have any idea what jealously is like?"
"I have an idea"
"It's not nice and when he's in love with you…"
"He's not in love with me!" Castiel protested.
Dean raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head. "He is, Cas, believe me. I got jealous and angry because he wanted you and he could take you away from me. We don't have the easiest time in this relationship, Cas, but when I told you that I love you, I meant it".
"What about when you ended it?"
Dean's eyes dimmed in sadness. "I wanted one last night with you, Cas, I didn't want words and I just wanted to kiss you, touch you, and remember you. It killed me, Cas, I had to stand there and watch you fall apart in front of me and I couldn't even take it back because I had to end it not just for me but for us"
Castiel winced at the pain in his lower regions which Dean soothed brushing his hand very softly on his hip.
"Then you went and cracked your head open" Dean said with a snort. "I freaked out and I knew it was my fault"
"It wasn't…"
"The nightmares came back because I wasn't there to make them go away…it was my fault"
Castiel sighed moving his hand to touch the warm skin underneath his t-shirt. Dean stayed quiet for a long time.
"This was my wakeup call that we have never ending bad luck and I should run for the hills or a hole because we're like two magnets being forced together" Dean murmured with a chuckle. "But there's a bond between us that won't fade no matter what happens, no matter what I do or you do it will never fade. I realised I wanted you in my life for a very long time and I wanted my future with only you"
Castiel smiled moving his head up to kiss his lips.
"Dean is there any reason you're telling me this?" he whispered with a quizzical tilt to his head. Dean nodded laying his head back so he could look into his eyes.
"Because I'm a big girl and I'm telling you how I fell in love with you" Dean said with an embarrassed chuckle. Castiel squeezed his eyes shut with a smile when Dean kissed the tip of his nose. "I hate you"
"I hate you too" Castiel murmured with a glint to his eye. "Only you can make me laugh and bloody smile when I've been shot"
"I'm just awesome" Dean said brushing back the black curl resting on his forehead. "But the most important question is have I just spilled my guts to someone who doesn't feel the same?"
Castiel turned startled eyes to Dean who smirked.
"Are you teasing me, Mr Winchester?"
"Maybe, Mr Milton"
Castiel rolled his eyes at him and laced their hands together. "I don't feel the same, not one little bit, I think I might be sick"
Dean sneered at him when he chuckled at his own joke. Castiel hissed at the pain that spread inside him when he moved.
"You need to sleep" Dean said moving forward avoiding his stomach and pressing warm lips to his hair. "You can heal without pain"
"Stay with me?"
"I'll never leave you"
Castiel smiled weakly at him before resting on his shoulder and falling asleep.
~0~
"It's about time, home time" Gabriel said clapping his hands when Castiel was helped out of bed. Castiel glared at Gabriel and rested against Dean's chest. It had been several days after he had woken up. The doctors were very pleased with his progress so he was allowed to go home but under strict orders to rest.
"I want him to stay with me" Castiel said when they got in the car. Dean pointed at himself when Castiel nodded looking over to Gabriel who rolled his eyes.
"Fine, but it's up to Dean"
"Stay with me tonight?" he pleaded looking into the rear-view window. Dean nodded once flicking his eyes to Gabriel.
"No…well you know" he said.
"Sex?" Castiel said making Dean flush and look away. "I can barely breathe without wanting to cry from pain! How can I have sex?"
"Alright! Just a warning" Gabriel said driving them out of the hospital.
"Cas!" Dean hissed glaring at him. Castiel smirked looking out of the passenger window and looking forward to seeing his own bed and not eat shit hospital food. Dean felt like a nervous teenager staying over at someone's house but he knew this was for Castiel and who knew what his dreams would be like now.
Anna rushed out to meet them and smiled when she saw Castiel. Anna helped him out and held him close, he hissed in pain and she let go.
"I'm sorry…are you hungry?"
"No, Dean's staying with tonight though" Castiel said looking over to Dean who rolled his eyes at him.
"Okay" she said with a small smile.
"I feel like a teenager" Dean murmured into his ear when he helped him inside.
"Dean, I can't sleep without you, you know that" he said turning his head to look at him. "They're fine with it"
"I still think this is fucking strange" Gabriel said shutting the car door. Anna smirked and glanced towards the door.
"Says the one who had a twenty year old girlfriend when they were fifteen"
Gabriel laughed and nodded. "Do you think it runs in the veins?"
"Yes" Anna said laughing and they walked inside.
Castiel groaned at the stairs. "Carry me?"
"No, walk" Dean said amused moving him forward. Dean followed after him as he walked up slowly and when he reached the top glared at Dean.
"Enjoy my pain?"
"No, I enjoyed the view of your ass though" Dean murmured kissing his neck.
Castiel moved towards his bed and sighed when Dean helped him in and sat down.
"Nice room"
"It's plain and simple" Castiel said with a shrug. Dean smiled at him when he settled into his pillows glad to have Dean by his side. The day passed by quickly with Anna giving them meals and Dean entertaining Castiel.
"I'm bored" Castiel said with a pout.
"You could sleep, it's nearly nine"
"No, I want you…to sing to me"
"What? No" Dean said flicking his thigh. "I'm twenty six, not six"
"Sing to me!"
Dean scoffed shaking his head and pulled out his phone to see three missed calls from school and Sam.
Sam.
Dude, I am seriously worried. I'm coming round tomorrow whether you like it or not! Ellen told me you quit your job. Why! Call me or I'm coming round.
Dean rolled his eyes dropping it on the side table and looking at Castiel who waited patiently.
"God, you'll be the death of me" he hissed standing up and removing his jeans and sliding in next to him.
"I thought I was getting a strip tease"
"Ha ha" Dean muttered facing him and sighing. "What do you want me to sing?"
"Anything"
Dean sighed pressing his lips to his shoulder and cast a glance at the sickly yellow wallpaper.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…" he whispered into his ear with a smirk causing Castiel to blush and laugh.
"You make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never know, dear, how much I love you…so please don't take my sunshine away"
"Why that of every song ever created?"
"Your wallpaper reminds me of the sun" Dean said with a shrug. "What else?"
"Anything other than that"
Dean smirked and nodded rolling over to switch off the lamp and wrapped his arms around him protectively. Castiel rolled with him and being careful to not harm his stomach stayed in the crook of his neck.
"Hey, Jude, don't make it bad, take a song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better" Dean crooned into his ear softly. "Hey, Jude, don't be afraid, you were made to go out and get her. The minute you let under your skin, then you begin to make it better".
"What's that?"
"My mom used to sing it to me" Dean murmured rubbing his back when Castiel smiled gently.
"I like it, sing it again" he murmured feeling sleepy from his pain medication and listened to Dean's soft words in his ear as he drifted off and was thankful to be alive. Heaven, paradise, peace, even a million dollars was nothing compared to this and Castiel was thankful for a second chance. No amount of bad luck or bullets could them apart and it didn't matter what was thrown at them next, they would always overcome it.
A/N: You lot have given me over 300 reviews! I am so shocked at how successful this has become, I seriously didn't expect it too. I give everyone hugs, cookies, and love.
I think a few more chapters and then the end, folks, it had to end sometime but you never know…might do a sequel? Depends on how it goes.
So, review!
