"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP CHASING ME?!" I mean, we could, but this is way too fun to not continue. "Do I LOOK like your toy?"

"I mean, you are a small and adorable little bug. It's perfect for a toy!" Neptune replied ecstatic as alwa-it… Did that thing just talk?

"Yes, this 'thing' just said something, what about it?" … It's mine now. I want this as a pet. COME HERE! "No! I'm not some pet for humans!" Who said I was a human? "...I'm not even going to ask." (That's pretty wise of you.) "Of course I'm wise, I'm a SAGE!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Ms. Sage." Nepgear formally apologized. "You're the one with the Star Cure, right?"

"Why yes, yes I am." I can so imagine her folding her arms if she were a human. "I was a human at one point, until I was cursed." Oh. Well, I'm sure you were beautiful. NOW I WANT TO CATCH IT!

"Will you give us the Star Cure if we keep you from the narrator?" Neptune! How could you betray me? I thought we were friends!

"Maybe, but that's probably not going to be much of a trial…" She's considering it?!

"Then what can we do to obtain the Star Cure from you?"

"Defeat me in battle." Yes, so I can capture her when she's down! "...and keep me away from that narrator." (Ooh, that's a heavy hit. Wow, the sage just broke our narrator's moral. Hah, well, he's always been one for bugs.)

"Whew, I was scared there for a second. I thought she was going to ask us to go through a whole labyrinth to find her and then fight her." Neptune sighed in relief, only to realize that her younger sister was shaking her head frantically, and the floating sprite looked like she wished she had hands to cover her face with.

"... Good idea." The worm crawled away, into a small pipe that took her down, further into Bowser's body.

"Sis…"

"This never happened…"


"Huh. It's a lakefront." The sound of the calm water, the ambient mood of the soft and peaceful wind… This is where I'd want my house. I'm envious of whoever lives in that ridiculously tall lighthouse over in the distance on the cliff dangerously close to the edge. "Hey, Chippy."

"..."

"Hellooo? Are you in there?"

"... Yeah, what happened, Bowser?"

"Nothing, it's just that it's been eerily silent. Normally I feel or hear something going on, what happened in there? Did you break something?"

"No, we're just stuck in a place that won't let us out. So we're just trying to figure a way around it." Starlow replied softly, a long silence following through.

Bowser simply pressed onwards towards the lighthouse, being that the authors wouldn't let him do otherwise. There was, of course, the usual spiel of Bow-Bow screaming at the Emo author and then storming off towards the ridiculously… Why is a lighthouse that big? (Traditional lighthouses are about 34 meters high.) So? This is 60! (The tallest lighthouse is still higher than that.) Where did you learn that? (Yes.) "Huh?"

"HELP!"

"SOMEONE HELP US!"

"BOWSER! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"Ooooooo!"

"I already don't want to save one of them." Bowser stated, his anger meter beginning to raise.

"Bowser, please!"

"We need you!"

"Booooooowseeeeerrr!"

"... Fine, time to save these idiots too."

"Holy Cannoli, is that Bowsa?!"

"Yowsa, bro, it totes is!"

"Oh snap! It's time for the Bow-Bow bonanaza!"

"..." Bowser then proceeded to walk away as if he hadn't just heard that. "Chippy, you sure you don't want to become my minion? I could really use some that aren't as… eccentric as those guys."

"Not a chance in hell." Starlow wisely replied, wiser than that sage, even… Seriously, give me that damn bug already!

"King Boswer!"

"Your awesomeness!"

"I'll make you cookies if you bail us out!"

"I'll make you TWO cookies!"

"Why are you guys so obsessed with cookies?! Why are all my minions idiots?!" That is a very good questi-

"Because we care!" That makes no sense.

"Ugh… FINE! I'll do it! But only on one condition!"

"We'll do anything, your rancidness!"

"SHUT UP!"

"..."

"..."

"Huh… Can't believe that actually worked." Neither can I, sir Bow-Bow. Stop glaring at me.

Anyway, the big fat turtle dude - stop glaring - made his way through the place and found… an abandoned ship in the middle of nowhere… Because logic! The ship also seemed to have a few flowers emanating some strange form of pollen from them… or something like that. They were big and puffy… much like Bowser.

Stop glaring. "Stop living." Touche… Anyway, the pollen or whatever it was gave off this weird smell, and the closer Bowser got to it, the weirder it got. But for reason, he was still drawn to it, almost like some sort of basic animal urge to figure out what it was. "Ugh… What even is that."

...Methinks that Bowser don't know what pollen is.

"Guys, I think that's our cue." Starlow said from within the Bow-Bow.

"I'm on it!"


"So what are we supposed to do here?" Starlow wondered aloud. The group were now conveniently in Bow-Bow's nasal cavity area… Kind of gross...

"Maybe if we get him to sneeze hard enough, he can move the boat from where it is." Neptune suggeste… How does one go about making someone sneeze so hard that they push a ship from where it's lodged? "Like this!" Neptune then proceeded to… SHE CAN MAKE GLOWY SWORDS!? (I get the feeling she only just remembered she could do that.) "I have no idea what you're talking about. But hey, what do you think would happen if I shot em at those thingies sticking out up there?"

"Sis, I don't think that's a good idea." (I think it's a great idea! Just do it!) "What?"

"Doing it."

"Wait, sis!"

"Neptune, wait!"

Aaaaand it's off! The blade zooms through the air and collides with the weird... nostril...thingies and erupts into a blast of blue energy. Who needs V**gil anyway? Anyways, they all…puff up… Which is not what I'd expect to happen to something when it gets blasted by a big, blue glowy sword.

"Huh…?"

"What the...goodness?"

"Hmm… Maybe it's I'm not high enough level to properly use that move?" You have to be a certain level to actually use that move? "I'mma use another." (By the power of Neptune magic, Neptune grows to the max level. I don't think we can do that.) "These are my glowy swords!" Aaaaaaaaand…

"..."

"..."

"..."

What do you know, the almost-but-not-quite emo author was right. (Told ya… The f*** kind of title is that? What? Uh...)

"Ah… Ahhh… ACHOOOOOOOOO!"

"...Huh… That actually worked. Nice job, Neptune."

"Well then… Good job, sis."

"Protagonist pose GO!


A/N(?)

Chisaku: Well then… That uh… Happened.

Draco: We can always pretend that it didn't. Kind of like with (redacted).

Chisaku: Right, like (expunged) and stuff, right?

Draco: Exactly, it's like the time we (data corrupted) and had to cut it off.

Chisaku: Or that time when we (censored) and then had to (deleted) some girl!

Draco: Definitely better than the time Aki and I (warning! warning! sensitive data has been tampered with!) And I'm still not sure whose blood that was to this day.