Chapter 29
The wait for her mother to enter the room was excruciating and had taken far too long. But when she had CiCi made no short work of attempting to use her powers against her. Unfortunately it still didn't work and only appeared to leave her mother with a strange smile pulled across her face.
'CiCi, do you really think we would have given you back a power which can be used against us?'
'It works against him,' she indicated towards her brother, careful not to use his name.
'That's only because he hasn't built up a resistance against other powers yet.'
'What do you mean a resistance against other powers?'
'Veronsen are power feeders,' her voice was level and calm, 'which means a resistance is built up through feeding off of other powers. And since Veronsen-Vii have all the advantages of Veronsen…' she almost laughed for a moment. 'You'd be surprised how many demons have abilities similar to your gift CiCi, or maybe it would be a surprise, if you weren't one.'
'What?' CiCi stared at her mother in a strange kind of horror.
'You are a demon CiCi,' her smiled remained placidly calm and her voice level. 'You were born one and so was your brother. That's why I had to leave you both, because I had to find a way to make you human. You see I just couldn't be the mother of demons CiCi, you have to understand that.'
'No, you just decided you were going to live in hell instead.'
'We've been feeding off of Ni's army, if that's any comfort.'
'That just makes me sick,' she glared at her mother. 'How dare you call me a demon?'
'I can't call you anything but what you are CiCi.'
'I am not a demon!'
'Yes, you are.'
'NO I'M NOT. And my brother isn't one either.'
'Yes he is. Why do you think your powers are the way they are? Do you think gods, like the trio, Crovell and Jo would have powers like yours CiCi? Or a Sen Kayma like Drake or even a Dorsoma like his sister?'
'Kasey's a Dorsoma?'
'That's not important right now CiCi. What's important is that you understand what you are. And you are a demon.'
'So you want to kill us.'
'No, we want to own you.'
'Own us?'
'It's the only way to make sure you're brought up correctly.'
'As demons?'
For a few moments her mother was silent, then she gave a strange kind of laugh and backed away from CiCi.
'I never asked to be a Veronsen-Vii CiCi, that just happened and it happened to your father as well. For years we tried to be human, hoping beyond hope that was what the majority of our genes were. Then you were born CiCi and I had hoped what you had were just external markings, but the night before your brother was born you used your power against me. I don't know if you meant to or not, but you did. And I knew… I knew then that you were a demon.'
'You left because of me?' CiCi staggered back and half fell down onto one of the two beds.
'I had been in denial about my pregnancy with your brother; I hadn't even told your father I was carrying him. The day I gave birth was the same one Crovell disappeared. No one was there to see it, except you CiCi. You were staring at me with those pale eyes of yours, bleating like an innocent little lamb. But all I could think about was how much your powers had stung when used against me. And then I stared down at your brother and I knew… I knew he was just like you.'
'You left because of me?'
'I packed your father's bags for him; caught him on his way back in. I don't know where he'd been, but I refused to let him go up and see either of you. Not that he even knew your brother existed then. He didn't find that out till after I forced him to leave. The strange thing was, he didn't take that much convincing. I guess I never lost my power over him; the power which came from being the one to turn him.'
'And you're saying I'm the demon,' she stared up at her mother in disbelief, her eyes burning with tears. 'You abandoned us because I was too young to control my powers?'
'Because you were a demon…'
'No. No, I made one mistake and you left us. That's unforgivable.'
'You have to understand I couldn't handle the pressure back then CiCi.'
'The shame you mean?'
'You're much more powerful than a normal Veronsen CiCi and I think you can be very cruel when you want to be. That's why I had to leave. Why I had to find a way to cure you and your brother.'
'You're still more of a demon than I am.'
'You're right,' her mother maintained her calm tones, 'I am now, since I came to live here. Since I came to accept who I was. Slowly but surely I stopped looking for a way to cure you and started waiting for a chance to get you back into my life. So that I could train you.'
'Train us for what exactly?'
'To be perfect little Veronsen-Vii, what else?'
Crovell could sense his sister's presence even before he opened his eyes. When he finally managed to look up at her, all he could feel was an overwhelming amount of shame for how much he needed her. But there was more to it than that. He felt… strange and he couldn't remember anything which had happened since he'd woken up that morning.
'Jo?'
'It's okay C,' she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, 'I'll get the person who's done this to you; then everything will be back to normal again.'
'What happened to me?'
'You became… you lost…' she hesitated. 'It doesn't matter. What matters is that I fix this for you and quickly.'
'Nothing feels right anymore,' he found half glancing around the room. 'Why doesn't anything feel right? I feel… so… calm.'
'What's wrong with feeling calm?' Lilac gave a nervous laugh as she moved into his sightline.
'I've never felt this kind of calm before,' he slowly shook his head. 'I'm not even sure if I've ever even felt calm before.'
'It's okay C,' Jo swallowed hard, 'I promise I'll fix this. You'll be back to your good old self soon enough.'
'There's no Chaos, is there?' As he spoke, his whole body squirmed; he felt so wrong it hurt.
'When I lost my powers C, I never lost my Order; I never became Chaos. So I have no idea how much this is hurting you right now.'
'I'm not Chaos,' his voice broke slightly, as he felt a well of tears rising up inside of him. 'Why… why am I not Chaos?'
'Shh, shh,' she hushed him, 'it's okay, I'll get it back for you, I promise.'
'How can I live without Chaos, Jo?'
'Shh, it's okay, I'll make sure you don't have to.'
'It hurts.'
'I know.'
'I want my Chaos back Jo, please… please get me my Chaos back.'
