A/N: Guys! It has officially been one year since this story was published! I'm very excited to present you with an extra long chapter (and an extra-long thank you).

Thank you to y'all who have been following this story since the very beginning, thank you to those who found the story and started reading later on, and thank you to anyone who's just picked the story up recently.

Thank you to those who leave comments on every/almost every chapter, to those who leave occasional comments, and to those who choose not to comment but read and enjoy the story anyway.

Thank you to all of the people who have talked about the fanfic with me over this past year, anyone who has helped me with editing and plot events, and even those who have given me harsh but entirely necessary criticism. It has all been extremely helpful.

Thank you to EVERYONE! I appreciate all of you so much!

When I first wrote this story, I never saw myself uploading it to the internet. I thought to myself, "Oh, people don't generally read OC stories, so I'll make this just for myself." So I made it as weird and crazy and ridiculous as I wanted. Until one day, I thought, "Well, I guess I'll just give it a shot and upload it. Some people might actually think it's okay."

To my luck, I found that there were people who enjoyed the story as much as I did. People who gave me wonderful comments and hit the "follow" (or even "favorite") button because they cared to find out what would happen next. And that's amazing. It's absolutely awesome.

And here we are, a year after the day I finally decided to publish it, and the story is still going strong. It would never have gotten this far without the help of you guys.

So, thanks again! Without further ado, here's chapter 29.

-TheVideoGamer


It took me a moment to regain my senses after Tanya pulled me back onto my feet. Aside from the chatter of the evening birds and the screech of the summer cicadas, all was silent. And the air was thick with humidity, sure, but it was the tension that was truly suffocating.

She dropped her hands at her sides and then joined them behind her back. Then she tilted her head up in that way she loved to: the way where she could stare down at me from underneath her peaked cap. I sometimes wondered if this was her way of being able to talk down at people who always stood taller than her.

"At attention, Meyer."

I did my best at straightening my posture and standing with feet shoulder-width apart, then gave her a salute.

"I won't ignore your advice about my experimental design. I believe it would be most appropriate not to hold your interrogation training in front of others. But in truth, this is because it would distract my good soldiers to have you crying like an infant while they're trying to train. Don't you think?"

"Y-yes ma'am."

"Very well then. When training is over for the day, I'll have you stay."

I swallowed my spit. "Yes, ma'am."

"Can you continue now?"

I shifted my weight and sucked in a breath. My chest hurt like hell, and my head was throbbing too. But I knew I didn't actually have a choice in whether or not to continue. "I'll do my best, ma'am."

"Good."

With that, we all got back to business for the day. The whole time, though, I couldn't seem to decide if I was happy that the torture had been postponed an hour or two. I supposed it would at least be good to take some time to mentally prepare myself. Though I wasn't entirely sure how to do that.

As time went on and the end of the day drew nearer, an intense anxiety burned in my chest. It got so terrible that I almost wanted the punishment to start already, because at least the anticipatory phase would be over.

Eventually, I got my wish.

"Alright, that's enough for today!" Tanya announced, "We're done!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and went to grab their canteens and other supplies. They gave salutes to the major as they passed her by, then went on their way toward the residential building for the night. A couple of them spared me pitiful glances.

Once they were all out of sight and certainly out of earshot, Tanya turned to me.

I did my best to analyze her face, but any guesses as to what she was thinking came up blank. She was wearing a completely neutral expression.

"...What are you going to do?" I asked quietly.

Tanya shook her head. "Nothing."

A wave of relief ran down my body. But I still asked, "Why?"

She looked at me quizzically. "Are you seriously questioning me?"

"I just don't understand. Aren't you mad-"

"Do you think I like hurting you?" She squinted her eyes. "Do you think I hit you today because I wanted to?"

I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't say anything.

Tanya took a few steps toward me, and I flinched. She stopped in her tracks. "Lillia. For the love of- Why do you do all of that shit?"

"What do you mean?"

"Disrespecting me in front of my own battalion! Don't you understand that I'm losing control of them when people get away with talking back to me?!"

"But I didn't get away with it-"

"You still did it, Lillia!"

A momentary silence ensued. I looked down and watched her out of my peripheral vision, nervous as ever.

"...What happened, Lillia?"

I remained silent.

"Answer me. Or else you're just wasting my time."

"I don't exactly know what you're asking."

"I'm asking why you're doing this. Why you're acting like an absolute brat."

"I could ask the same of you, Tanya."

Her eyes narrowed further.

"You can't just have an entire argument with me and then sweep it under the rug! I'm still upset, Tanya. I tried to apologize to you this morning, but you blew me off."

Tanya was hesitant to answer, letting out a long sigh before speaking again. She seemed to realize that this was never going to get better for either one of us unless we destroyed the problem at its roots. "I didn't think I could afford to think about it. Not with the upcoming battle. But if we don't reconcile this, it'll mean that we're fighting as a dysfunctional team. And that's not going to win the war at all."

I almost smiled. I didn't quite have one in me, though. "Okay... I still wish that work wasn't your only reason for fixing this, though."

I looked up at her. Tanya was looking out at the red sky. Our bodies casted long, dark shadows over the grass.

"I'm sorry," she said.

I wondered if she was trying to convince herself, in that moment, that she loved me. That she had something genuine and sincere to say. Something to make me feel better.

But she must not have found anything, because her next words were, "Let me walk you to the clinic."

I shook my head. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

Tanya put her hand to my sternum and gave it a little bit of pressure. I winced, and she gave a subtle smirk. "Liar."

Her hand grew very warm, and I saw her computation jewel glow to life. Her eyes gave off a blue luminescence I'd seen many times before, but it was miraculous as always to watch. Suddenly, the pain seemed to be melting away.

"You don't have to heal it for me-"

"I'm not. If I don't know what the damage is, I don't know what to channel the energy into." She put her other hand on top of her first. "I'm just easing the pain."

I reached out and brushed a few of my fingertips against her cheek. Tanya glanced at my eyes for a second, then back down at her hands.

"I'm really sorry. For sabotaging your control over the battalion. That wasn't my intention. I was just angry with you."

"I know." Her head was tilted down toward my chest, but her eyes focused up on my face. "And I'm sorry. For brushing you off this morning. For the violence, too...even though it was rather inevitable."

I finally felt myself cracking a smile. That was plenty enough of an apology for me, especially coming from Tanya.

After a moment, she let her hands fall to her sides and we began to walk back toward the residential buildings together.

"Do you think...our relationship's going to go down in flames someday?" I asked her softly.

Tanya looked back toward the sky. "Most definitely."

"Why do you say that?"

"For the same reasons you asked."

I glanced over at her. How could she be so sure that our reasons were the same?

"You and I have always been... No. It's not us. It's me," Tanya said slowly. "I don't believe I..."

Have the ability to love someone?

"Tanya-"

"Lillia, there are too many things that I can't give. And you may be okay with that a lot of the time, but it's only because you've never known anything better. And it gets a lot better than me."

"What kinds of things do you mean?" I asked. Tanya pulled open the back door of the building and held it open - something she rarely ever did for me. It took me by surprise.

"Like... loving you unconditionally. Being generous. Putting your needs first. I don't do any of those things."

We stepped into the hallway together. "I don't need those things-"

"You don't think you need them. But you do."

"...And work is stopping you from being able to give those things?" Hm. I hoped that didn't come off sounding selfish. It wasn't meant to be.

Tanya stared straight ahead now. "Well...I'm just not willing to give them."

"Oh."

She chuckled under her breath. "I don't deny that I'm usually an emotionally-detached person. And it's obvious that I'm a mess of complexes, isn't it?"

I didn't know what to say. Was I supposed to agree with her?

"I'm self-serving, I'm pragmatic, and my life is led by ambition. I don't particularly care about infringing on the rights and freedoms of others, as long as I get to keep my own."

"Tanya, you're too hard on your-"

"When I first got my battalion, I planned on using them as nothing but human shields for my own protection."

"Tanya, listen!"

She stopped. I stopped. We had reached my dorm room door.

"When you first got your battalion, that may have been what you thought. Sure. But what caused the change?"

"Well, you joined. And it turned my entire plan on its-"

"Why didn't you want to use me as a human shield as well?"

"Because I care about you."

"Exactly!"

She crossed her arms. "What?"

"You aren't the cold, heartless monster you make yourself out to be, Tanya. You are capable of caring for others. You just proved it. You sacrificed a plan of self-preservation out of care for another person. I don't care what kinds of complexes you have. You're not some sort of psychopath. You care."

"And what if it's all just attachment? Sentiment?"

"Well, that's certainly something. And if you ask me, it's not a bad start." I smiled at her.

Tanya gave a laugh and took my face in her hands. "You're just letting yourself be abused. But if it's what you really want, I guess I'll stay with you for a while longer." She leaned in until her forehead was resting against mine.

"How long is a while?" I asked.

"Until we either burn out, or get caught."

With that, she kissed me.

It was a drawn-out kiss. Filled with apology and relief and adrenaline. I remembered worrying that I would never have a moment like this with her again, and it felt damn good to be wrong.

I suddenly heard a high-pitched whistle. It took me a moment to realize, but it had been a catcall. The sound echoed down the hallway like a shockwave, sending ice down my spine.

Tanya pulled away from me at breakneck speed, but it was too late.

I looked in the direction of the whistle, and to my shock-

It was Richter who stood there, bearing his usual cocky grin.

I breathed a sigh of relief. My initial thought was "Thank God it's someone I can trust."

He walked toward us slowly, arms swaying casually at his sides.

"Oh, hello Richter." Tanya's eyes were narrowing fast.

"Good evening, major. If you don't mind me asking, why were you just kissing Lieutenant Meyer?" He gave a laugh on the last few words. It sounded hollow and fake, but not nervous.

"What? I think you must be misunderstanding something," she replied. There was venom in each word. Tanya adjusted the Elinium Type 95 hanging from her neck.

I was confused as all hell by Richter's reaction. It was impossible to get a clear read on what he was thinking.

"No," he squinted his eyes. "I think I know what I saw. Then another laugh. "It's just funny how a commander who's such a stickler for the rules could do something so incredibly illegal."

Tanya narrowed her eyes. "Nothing illegal has happened, Richter."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, commander. Last I checked, homosexuals weren't allowed to be officers."

Tanya laughed. "Why don't you stop making reckless accusations before I punish you for speaking out of line?"

He shook his head, still holding that grin on his face.

"It's offensive to even make that accusation, for one thing. And for another, how much freetime do you think I have to be fucking around with that type of activity?"

"Listen, commander. It's fine. And Meyer, I won't tell anyone." He crossed his arms. "Y'know, as long as you meet a condition or two."

My stomach dropped. Blackmail?

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"Why not?" he shrugged. "Besides, if you go around committing crimes like that, don't you suppose you'll have to pay some people to keep quiet?"

"I...thought we were friends."

"And we are. This has nothing to do with our friendship." He laughed again. "To be honest, I had a feeling this was going on from the day I met you, Meyer. The way you talked about the commander was just too suspicious. Do you really think this came as a surprise? You even have that short hair like a boy. Of course you're a fucking queer-"

Richter doubled over before he could finish his sentence, grabbing his head in pain. He let out a yelp and sank down to his knees.

It seemed worse than the first time this happened to him. His face was even paler than it usually was, his eyes squeezed tight and his knuckles white. Tanya's eyes were glowing fiercely, along with her computation jewel.

Richter began to cry out in pain. "Okay, okay, stop! Please - agh! Please!"

"Take it back," Tanya said calmly.

"What?!"

"You called her a 'fucking queer'. Take it back."

He struggled silently for another moment.

"Any day now." Her eyes grew even brighter.

Richter screamed again. "Okay, okay okay okay! I'm sorry!"

Then just like that, like candles going out, Tanya's eyes dimmed back to normal. Richter was left a mess on the floor, heaving and retching as the agony faded from his nerves.

"At attention, Richter."

He stumbled to his feet. When he gave a salute, his hand was shaking erratically.

Tanya stepped toward him until she was very, very close. She had to crane her head up to meet his gaze, but the anger in her face and the maturity in her posture made it feel like she was the one looking down on him. "Listen. If you ever threaten me again, you'll lose your life. And even if you go to the higher-ups about me, who do you think they'll believe? Your word, or mine?"

He was silent.

"Oh, and if you ever say something like that to Meyer again, just know that you'll die for that too."

A nod came in reply.

"Now get out of my sight."

Richter turned on his heel, gave us a final bitter, pain-filled glance, and left.

A couple of soldiers opened their dormitory doors and looked around as he turned the corner.

"What was all that racket?" one man asked, rubbing his eyes. "I have places to be in the mor- oh, pardon me, Major Degurechaff." The man gave a quick salute. He looked ridiculous though, acting like a soldier when dressed in night clothes.

"At ease, Harding," Tanya said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "It's just one of the men on my battalion. I was punishing him for something, and he was acting like an infant."

"Oh, uhm. Alright. Have a good night, you two."

I had no idea what rank he was, so I gave a salute just to be safe. "You too, sir."

Pretty soon, the people's curiosity was sated and all the dormitory doors were shut again.

Tanya gave me a simplistic look that I took to mean: "Well...your room?"

I nodded and unlocked the door.

As soon as it was shut, I wrapped my arms around her.

Tanya sighed and rested her head on my shoulder. "What the hell was that?"

"I don't know," I said quietly. "You think he's gonna be out to get us now?"

"No. Don't let this worry you, Lillia. If Richter ever tries to cause a problem, I'll put an end to it immediately."

I thought back to the look on Richter's face right before he turned to leave us be. It was one of disgust, but with a healthy blend of unadulterated horror. Tanya had scared him shitless. Maybe I could take her word on this.

"I'm sorry for trusting him."

"You didn't realize."

"But I let him get to me. I took his side and rebelled with him. So I'm sorry."

Tanya shook her head. "Don't worry."

I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. "I'm really glad that we solved things today. I don't know what I'd do if we went into battle angry with each other."

Tanya pulled away from the hug and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "It would be a nightmare. The team would be weakened, our minds wouldn't be in the war, and..."

"What?"

"If something happened…" She shook her head. "Well. That isn't the way I'd prefer things to end between me and you."

"What would you prefer then? What's the ideal end to our story?"

A chuckle. Then she gripped me by the shoulders, and I could tell she was preparing to kiss me. "Something very, very far away from now."

I was smiling when her lips met mine.