I woke up feeling worn and tight skinned. The locket of Renee's was still in my hand and my stomach sank again. Rushing to get up from our bed that I was placed in, I emptied the contents of my stomach in the toilet.

"Bella!" Sam said rushing into my aid. I slumped down to the floor after washing out my mouth and laid the back of my head against the base of the sink cupboard.

Sam kept a hand on my knee and then lightly squeezed my hand. It was his way of telling me he was here for me, but it wasn't what I was needing.

"Bella," a voice said, and it was Esme with Sue and Letty. Mothers, exactly what I needed. Tearing up again, Sue told Sam to leave, who was adamant about staying but was kicked out finding it was best for my healing- according to Letty. The women sat next to me on each side and in front of me, comforting me in their own way. Esme pushed the hair from my face while Sue rubbed my hands and Letty held my knees. Tears fell again and I didn't have the energy to wipe them away. Words didn't have to be expressed on the sadness I was feeling. The words were probably missing from the dictionary anyhow.

I kept trying to convince myself to pull my emotions together. I had dealt with Renee and how I felt about her a while ago- I was supposed to be a new person here with a fresh start. But with the wedding approaching and all of these new thoughts, my walls were crumbling and I was falling.

I never thought she would be missing the life I would create. It never hit me that she would miss my wedding day or the house I found myself living in. I didn't even think about her grandchildren she would never see.

"Why?" I croaked out. My body curled it self-together and my stomach rumbled with a sickening knot.

Esme's cold skin against my forehead felt like relief and I could only close my eyes to try and get peace.

"I'm hurting Sam," I breathed trying to pull everything together.

"Right now, don't worry about him," Sue said.

"Bella?" Letty asked. I opened my eyes and stared at her.

"Its okay to let it out, the boys can handle themselves," she said.

Nodding, I tried not to think about it, even though the women wanted me to, but I felt more again anyways. It was like they had magic words and made me do as they wanted. Pain in my heart knocked me down further and I let out a small sob.

My hands were now moist and the locket was slipping. Swallowing my knot in my throat, I looked down and glanced at my hands. The women sighed and Esme went back to running her hands through my hair.

"Why does it hurt so bad?" I asked.

"Because she's your mother," Sue said gently.

Closing my eyes, I shut the locket, telling myself I wasn't shutting Renee away or telling her goodbye, I just needed to close it to get some peace. Standing up, I went over to the bathroom mirror, let go of the locket to hang from my hands and then clipped it to my neck. It hung perfectly on my chest, right where her's used to be and that set me off again. I bit my lip leaning against the sink telling myself not to cry, but I knew it would be okay with all of my surrogate mothers with me.

The pain slowly faded away as I wished the thoughts of her away. I wanted this week and today to be happy, it was supposed to be but with my drama and me I ruined it. Guilt hit me hard and I ran some water over my face. Staring into the sink, I took a second to close off that ugly box of emotions and took the towel from Esme's hand.

"I'm okay now," I said. All three women smiled gently at me. Sue was the first one to step up and wipe some hair from my forehead. "We are always here if you need us."

I nodded and hugged her.

"We mean it Bella, mothers stick together and take care of their loved ones," Esme said with a smile. I let out a laugh and nodded, hugging her next.

"We'll give you some time to compose yourself okay? No rush on coming down," Letty said with a hug.

So after they left me I sat on the bed for a while. I was somewhat glad they were still holding back Sam. I wasn't sure what to do, say, or how to feel. I was just in a temporary blankness.

"Bella," A voice said that surprised me. It was Joshua Uley, Sam's dad.

"Hey Mr. Uley," I croaked.

"Is it okay…" he said referring to step in the room and close the door. I nodded and he did just so.

"It's hard losing someone isn't it," he spoke sitting next to me on the edge of the bed.

"too hard," I admitted.

"I heard from Sam how…she died," he said carefully. "That's a rough one kid."

"Its unfair," I spoke, "that she would do this, but it's what she wanted," I said feeling tears come in my eyes.

"I don't think she was thinking like you are now," he said. "To do such a thing…it's…selfish. But I don't think she even meant to leave you."

"I miss her," I said, "more than just that…I can't breathe." Tears filled my eyes and a few poured down, "its-"

"I know," Joshua said taking my hand.

"You'll get through it, it takes time and talking, but it gets better."

"I thought I had this all down," I said, "but now,"

"It's different," he said knowing exactly how I was feeling. "When I lost Sam's mom it was like everything shattered. But that wasn't until later. For a while everything was just blurry. I had lost my mate and I expected myself not to go on."

"How did you?" I asked.

"Life was still ahead of me- and Sam," he said. "I couldn't leave my kid like that and I couldn't do that to myself. I knew things were going to change and she would be missing so much, but apart me always thought that…if she was in my heart, and staying in the back of my mind, I would always have that part of her and keep her safe."

"Do you still feel that way?" I wondered.

"All the time," he said. "I look to Sam now, after all of the years and notice how much he has changed; and I think to myself I wish Laura was here to see that. He's become a man I could never be and the son she always knew he was. But that has a lot to do with you being in his life," he said.

"Bella, you will always break down here and there- hell, I still do and its been years since my wife was gone, but you move on. Things will make you move on and continue living. There are people all around to help you get through what you are feeling and although our pain may not be the same, we still share commonalities and can help you move on in the best way possible."

"I feel like I'm forgetting her though," I admitted.

"Nah, you just think that because you cant conjure up a memory of her as easy. You'll always remember her Bella, maybe not as much as you first did, but she's your mom and that counts for a hell of a lot."


Sam's dad left a while after we talked and it made everything a lot easier. It was true that the people around us had lost people, take Scott or Will for example. Scott lost his wife and Will doesn't really have his mom. Paul too. He barely had a mother at times and never had a father hanging around. Sighing, I stood up and went to the balcony. The door opened to the bedroom again and this time I knew it was Sam. Turning to face him, I bit my lip and walked towards him.

My head hit his warm chest and I cuddled deeply beside him. Words again, couldn't fill the air. Sorry wasn't the word to speak and revenge wasn't the way to talk. It just something that came by and went, being dealt with in a time not always the best.

"I love you," I breathed.

"I love you too baby," Sam replied kissing my head.

For a while, Sam and I stood on the balcony scanning our eyes around the view we had. It was truly beautiful and made something settle down in me- peace.

"Ready to go down?" I asked.

"Only if you are," he said. I nodded and took his hand. Leading the way, I opened our bedroom door and braced myself for whatever could happen.

Liam approached me first and I picked him up in my arms. He held me close and played with my hair.

"That's pretty," he muttered taking notice to my necklace.

"Thank you Buddy," I smiled, "its from my mom," I said.

Everyone was quiet, watching me as I sat on the couch with Paul's son and my fiancé.

"Why isn't she here Elley?" he asked.

Paul went to go speak up but I beat him to it. "Remember when I told you some people don't always have mommy's? Well mine isn't here anymore either."

"But then who do you call mommy?" Liam asked.

"Those people over there," I said pointing over to Letty, Sue, and Esme.

"You have three?" he asked as the women smiled at us.

"You can have as many mommies as you want to Liam."

"I just want you," he said.

"Okay," I breathed, taking comfort in his hugs.

"I'm so sorry everyone," I said.

"Bells, its your mom, we get it," Jake said.

"even so, I still want to apologize. It makes me feel better," I joked. Everyone chuckled.

"What was she like?" Kim wondered.

"she was a kid," I said pretty bluntly. Everyone chuckled while Charlie nodded.

"Umm…my mom was a funny and very fickled person. She went through stages of being an artist, a yoga master, and an alcoholic," I said. "but she was my mom. There were always fun things to do and it made me realize I had to be the parent," I said.

"Phil seems cool," Jared said.

"Yea, he is," I said. "he's only like…10 years older than me though I think?"

"That's kinda weird," Leah said.

"Yea," I laughed. "I told Paul this before but my mom wasn't like a mom," I said solemnly , "she was just, I don't know. She always had those selfish antics and didn't care for rules, which makes me bothered because I'm so upset over her being gone. Anyways, I guess I had so much fun with that that is what I miss. She was an interesting woman but more like my best friend than my mom."

Everyone nodded, staying solemn and silent.

"So, now that that is over, can we party? Cause I really need some fun," I said.

"Bring out the alcohol," Andrea rolled. We all laughed and all did just that.


"Are you sure you don't want me to stay? I can switch patrols," Sam said as I sat on our bed reading.

"Sam, you're driving me crazy, I asked the boys to switch with you. Now please, before you make your fiancée go nuts, go run wolf."

He rolled his eyes, sucked in a breath and then came to kiss me. "I'll be around, call me if you need me."

"Of course," I said going back to my book. Ever since the meltdown about Renee, Sam has been like a hovercraft. I was about ready to explode and I think everyone had felt bad for me. The wedding was just 6 days away and my husband to be was giving me stress lines. It was Billy and Charlie who finally told him he needed to lay off a bit and we had Embry switched patrols with him to give me some time off. (Sam took early patrols while I was still asleep so he could be with me from the time I go to up to the time I fell back asleep). So now finally I was laying in bed relaxing and reading a book I got from the party. Tucked in my book was the white envelope with my name on it from Paul and I forgot I hadn't opened it. Closing my novel, I sat up and tore open the envelope. Inside was Paul's writing scrawled on some lined paper.

Bella, it started

There's not much I can give you for everything you have done in my life. I used to think life was the most horrible thing- a curse and a plot of revenge for the way I was before- from my mother, to being a wolf and learning I had to becoming a father. But you change all of that. You helped my mom become her again, made me realize being a wolf was a good thing- that we protect other and it's apart of who we are, something we shouldn't try to change- and you helped shaped my son into the person he is today. Without you, my life would have been completely different than what it is now. I don't know where I would have been without you and I couldn't bare to think about it. I value what we have developed. Our friendship has always been different but it means everything to me. Your love for my son always astounds me and your faith in me always has me pushing for more. Liam is lucky to have you in his life, and to call you his mom yet again, so am I. There's so many great things for you and so many opportunities but you still stick with us. You continue to linger her and love us unconditionally. Thank you for changing me into a better person and thank you for all of the things you've done for my son. I hope to see you and Sam live the happily ever after you deserve. Imprinting is a blessing whether you see it yet or not and I will always be there to remind you. Treat yourself like you do with Liam and I, respect and love. You may not always be the one to open up to us Bella, like we do to you, but no matter how it comes down, we love you. There isn't a greater person than you and I wish you to see that. You've overcome so much and dealt with the strange. I'm proud of you for handling such things with strength and beauty. Bella, remember I always love you and will be there for you whenever you need me. I'll kick Sam's ass to the outskirts of La Push and back, no matter the consequences. From this time forth, I want you to know, whatever happens or how things go, you're always the girl who changed my life and opened my heart again.

~forever in your debt,

Paul

I was flabbergasted by the letter and touched beyond reason. I knew I had helped Paul but that was…woah. Folding the letter back up carefully and sticking it in the envelope I sat back and marveled life. Way of getting here and things we've all had to deal with. I couldn't believe I was actually here.


Setting my book on the nightstand, I shut off the lights and went to bed, dreaming of the happy future I couldn't wait to have.

I had set rules for Sam. No more hovering or I was calling everything off. It definitely set him in place and he apologized. I knew he was worried for me but even still, after Billy, Charlie, and the Pack told him to calm it down he couldn't. So now, I was in the kitchen baking my thoughts away while Sam was making some fresh orange juice.

"Are you ready to party?" Leah said coming in the house and sitting at the counter.

"Hey Le," I laughed.

"Bachelorette party #1 in effect," she said.

"Oh really?" I laughed.

"Sam, you should be telling your girl to go get ready soon," Leah said to her alpha. He raised a brow and looked at me. "Go get ready?"

"Thanks Sam," I laughed kissing him quickly as I left the kitchen. It was 3 days till the wedding now and I was getting more excited each day. Leah was taking us girls out to dinner tonight for the kid approval party. After dinner we were going to go hanging around at the beach, probably swim and stuff.

"Grab your suit, a sleeping bag, pajamas, pillow, and some clothes," she said.

"Where are we sleeping?" I asked.

"Outside," she answered.

"Why?" I wondered.

"Oh come on, it will be fun. The stars are supposed to be really pretty tonight and I have the whole thing planned."

"Alright," I sighed grabbing a bunch of things. Leah helped me carry all my stuff down and Sam wondered what the heck Leah had in store.

"Don't worry Sam, I'll get her back in one piece. Now, tell your fiancée you love her and goodbye because you wont be seeing her till rehearsal," Leah said. Sam groaned but came over to me anyways.

"I'll go put these in the car," she said taking my bags as Sam wrapped his arms around my waist.

"You're really going that long huh?" he asked.

"Sadly yes," I said with a small smile. He leaned down and kissed me. "Don't miss me too much okay?" I laughed. He groaned and laid his head on my shoulder.

"Just think, three more days," I sang. I could feel his grin even though I couldn't see it. Kissing my mark, I gave a tiny shiver and pulled him back to look at me. "Have fun at your party and don't get too carried away."

"Same goes to you," he said kissing me again. "I don't know, it's Leah, we'll see what she has in store," I laughed. Putting my purse over my shoulder, I kissed him one last time before leaving the house for good.


"So what is in store for us today?" I asked as she pulled out of the driveway.

"So much," she grinned.

"First, you are going to get changed at my house, the girls are already there. Then we are going out to dinner."

"Okay," I said.

"what else?"

"Well, I plan to order you a drink so there's that," she snickered, "and then back to the beach, maybe a late night swim and some s'mores."

"yum," I said cranking up the radio. As Leah and I sang along to some jams, I noticed how close we were to her house. Gathering my things, I stepped out of the car as we arrived and went to go get ready.

"Hi girls," I said as I was greeted with Claire and Joey hugging my legs.

"You excited Bella?" Kim asked.

"Very," I smiled with my bags.

"Let's get changed," Leah suggested. We all nodded. Rose took the girls to go help them while Alice insisted on helping all of us.

I was modeling a pair of medium wash jeans, a crème three quarter length shirt that was plunge v-neck and flowy, and a long gold necklace. "You all ready to go?" I called while getting my black clutch.

"Dang bride to be," Leah called as she walked down the steps. I let out a laugh and blushed. "Come on already, I'm starving."

"Here," Sarah said coming over to me. She made me bend my head and fixed my sash. "you aren't serious," I said.

"oh, we are," Andrea said coming out to look at me while putting on her earrings. I had a sash that said 'bride to be'.

"Okay, fine, are we ready?" I asked. Everyone nodded and we were on our way.


Dinner was great but the bon fire was even better. At dinner, right when we walked into the restaurant it was all eyes and everyone gave me their congratulations. I was blushing like crazy. So we ate and talked, pretty normal stuff. The bon fire was something different though. All of us changed out of our clothes and into our suits, with the plan of jumping into some ice-cold water. (They had also still made me wear the sash keep in mind). While carrying our stuff down there, we noticed other people were around having a bon fire. Great.

It didn't stop us though. Leah made us all set down our things and literally run into the water. Now keep in mind its La Push and Washington. The water was freaking freezing. I had never felt so cold in my life and was practically wishing for Sam to come warm me up when I got out. All of us girls had our teeth chatter and were blue lipped by the time we came out. Leah already had a fire going which was good so we wrapped ourselves in towels. It was funny though, something I forgot to mention was the group of people who had their own fire. When we ran into the water they all hollered saying we were crazy. And truth be told we were, but it was the most I've had in a while. We swam, had a water fight, and even tried to see who could stay under the cold water the longest.

So anyways, when we came out, the group- who were mostly guys all congratulated me for the whole marriage thing, which I still blushed to even though I was blue, and handed us some more towels of their own. It was super sweet and made me really enjoy La Push's hospitality.

"Bella, you still with us?" Andrea asked.

"huh?" I wondered snapping out of my thoughts.

"We were talking to you for like…five minutes," Leah said.

"Oh," I blushed still holding a towel around my shoulder.

"So are you getting excited?" Kim wondered.

"Do you even have to ask?" I said with a bright smile.

"Are you girls excited to walk down the aisle?" I asked Joey and Claire. They both nodded, "I can't wait for my daddy to see me," Joey said plucking the burnt marshmallow in her mouth.

"He is going to be very excited," I smiled.

"We're like princesses," Claire chirped. Rose smiled and we all laughed, "that we are," I agreed.

After a while, and much warming up we kept a fire going and laid around talking.

"How are you and Cole Leah?" I asked.

"Really good. I honestly don't care about imprinting anymore. Cole is the guy I want to be with, I see that now," she said.

"what about the whole thing with his parents coming to the wedding?" Rose wondered.

"I'm okay with that too. He thanked both Sam and Bella for it, and I really do want them to like me. It means a lot to Cole and if I can show them that through this, then so be it," Leah responded.

"How are you with your mom situation Bella?" Kim asked quietly.

"Better," I sighed, "I think just that one day had me falling apart. With Phil and the whole thing with the locket," I said looking down at the jewelry around my neck. "it's still weird but better."

"You can talk to us about it…" Sarah said hesitantly. I smiled at all of them and looked back down to Renee's prized possession.

"This locket, Phil and I gave to my mom when I was younger. She wore it everyday and never took it off. It hung perfectly around her neck, somewhat how it fits around mine. She always used to tell me that it was the perfect gift because I was close to her heart," I said. "And I think it meant so much to me because that was the extent of her motherly words you know? That wasn't the most best friend like thing to say; it made me feel like her daughter," I spoke. "Inside is a picture from us at the park one day. I think Phil took it. We were doing some crazy thing with the slides or the swings, I can't even remember," I laughed, "but it was a good day."

"How did she…" Andrea asked.

"Die?" I finished. She nodded. I somewhat forgot not everyone knew. I was surprised too that the boys hadn't told their imprints.

"Suicide," I said. glancing around I saw the little girls already asleep so I continued with my story. "I found her hanging when I came home for the weekend from college. She had tied a noose around her neck off one of those exercise curl up poll things," I said remembering the day. "I tried lifting up her legs to stop the pressure on her neck but I pretty much knew she was gone. It gets a little hazy but I remember running back downstairs and yelling out help. I think it was the neighbors who called 9-1-1."

"Bella," Sarah said with a gasp.

"Its okay, really. I've actually dealt with that part. Just the whole her not being here to see me grow up hit me like a ton of bricks."

"What about you guys?" I asked the three girls trying to get off topic. "How are your boys?"

"Living with Billy is always interesting," Sarah said. "Oh gosh, one time," she giggled, "Jake and I were umm- you know," she said, "and Billy walked in. I mean, we were on the couch and-"

"Eww," I said covering my ears. The other girls laughed, "I couldn't face him for a week," Sarah blushed, "and he was the one to finally come up to me and say it was okay- it was natural and all."

At that, we all really did start laughing hard. After a few more embarrassing stories went around, we all settled down and soon looked up to the stars.

"We're glad you have Sam Bella," Kim said.

"It makes him a better person," Leah added.

"And it gives you more stability," Rose said.

"Even though he's a wolf, he's a good one," Alice chimed in.

"And you fit well together- no imprint talk needed," Sarah quipped.

"I just wish you guys would make puppies already," Andrea said. We all laughed, "but seriously, you guys are a good couple."

"Thanks guys," I hummed.

"Isabelly?" Claire grumbled.

"Yea Claire Bear?" I said propping myself up on the elbows.

"I love you."

"Love you too baby girl," I said as she rolled over and fell back asleep.

"That was cute," Leah said.

"Adorable," Rose said.

"Hey you guys?" I asked after a while of silence.

"Hmm?" they responded. "Thanks for being here, and doing all of this. I love you all and you know that already, but it means a lot, for the words and stuff."

"Of course," they smiled. Slowly getting up from my sleeping bag, I grabbed my drawstring sack and went back over to the fire. In there were a few little boxes for everyone. Handing them each other own and even setting some by Joey (who decided to cuddle up against me and sleep with me) and Claire who were sleeping, I waited them to open their gifts.

The first box contained a necklace. It each had their names in loopy cursive writing. The second box held each of their favorite candies and a $100 to their favorite stores. From there, the last box contained a disposable camera and a journal/photo book.

"I thought for each wedding, cause we know they are all going to happen one day, we each document the nights and events. Something cool to remember," I said watching them.

"Bella," they all said loving their gifts.

"oh and maid of honor," I said getting up again to get something else, "this is for you."

Handing her another small box, Leah opened it up and found a tiffany's ankle bracelet and a personalized flask.

"I thought you might need to get an extra drink in there," I joked. Everyone laughed including her and she got up to hug me. There was a flash and we were temporarily blinded.

"I thought we were starting memories?" Kim said as we all looked at her. Eventually smiles appeared on our face after ending the temporary state of confusion From there, the camera came into great use and we all took silly picture to remember the night.

"These are really nice gifts Bella, thank you so much," Sarah said after we calmed down and relaxed. Everyone agreed.

"It's the least I could honestly do. You guys put up with bull shit and do a lot for me," I shrugged.

After we got the mushiness out of the way, Leah reminded us about how great tomorrow was going to be too.


We woke up to brightness, or atleast that is how I did.

"Morning Bella," Rose smiled.

"Hey," I groaned. Joey was already up playing in the water with Alice.

"Time?" I asked.

"around noon," she said. Sitting up and running a hand through my hair I saw pretty much everyone was still sleeping.

"Why did I get something extra in my gift too Bella?" Rose wondered. She held up a tiffany's bracelet.

"Because without, I wouldn't be here and I would have screwed everything up."

"I don't believe that," she said positively.

"I do," I said, "and I know it. You helped me when I needed it the most and stuck by me even when I was back up on my feet. Honestly, it was the least expected but the most welcome. You, like Leah and all these girls are like my sister. I don't know if I could live with myself if you were ever to walk out of my life. It just, it couldn't happen," I said.

"But you didn't have to get me anything," she smiled.

"I wanted to," I shrugged, "I have a lot of money. It has to go somewhere," I joked. As the rest of the gang began to stir, we packed up our things and headed for Leah's. Joey was wrapped back up in a towel and picked up by Rose to go.

"Well, welcome home ladies," Sue said with a smile as she was making pancakes. "How was night number one?"

"A blast," we all responded. She chuckled. "Well breakfast, or lunch, in your case is almost done. Freshen up and the come sit."

Doing as we were told, we all took our time showing quickly and getting dressed. Scott had come to pick up Joey, but ended up staying for breakfast. Soon after that, we needed to get Claire home, so we all drove her back and told her we would see her tomorrow.

For the rest of the afternoon we hung around, eating pizza, watching movies and hanging around. Sue joined us for a little while before she had to start work for the night. Rose and Alice both went for a quick bunny hunt as we started getting ready.

A dress was thrown in my face and I was wondering what the heck it was for. "Come on, put it on," Leah said.

The dress was a yellow silk, off the shoulder style. It had the loose fabric again, hanging down where it covered my shoulder. After slipping it on, I was matched with a skinny black belt to go around my mid waist. From there, Rose did my hair and swept it up into a waterfall braid.

"Okay, why am I so dressed up?" I wondered.

"We are going out," Alice said.

"I thought we were drinking," I said.

"We are," Leah responded.

"But Sam…" I said.

"I know, I got around it though. I may be taking you clubbing but Rose and Alice are being the DD's. They are also to make sure we don't lose it too much."

"Alright," I said not sure if Sam was going to approve.

"Oh stop thinking Bella," Andrea said.

"Yea, if Sam doesn't approve of this well, oh well, he will have you for the rest of his life so he will have to get over it," Sarah said. I laughed at all of them and decided to go with the flow. One of my last nights being single.

"Smile!" Alice said as she brought out a camera. We laughed, smiling together as we went to get the night started.