Wrong Way On a One Way Track
Anna POV
Calm. You must remain calm, Anna.
I walk toward the kitchen. Kurama's gone, but Shizuru is still there. I think…I think I want to talk to her about Kurama. I'd really like to talk to Dr. Takei, but I just saw her yesterday, so that is out.
I walk into the kitchen. But they never noticed me when I was listening. It would be so easy for him to listen in on our conversation. And I can't have that. He can't hear what I'm going to say. He can't hear the words I suddenly need to say out loud.
Then Shizuru asks, "Is something wrong, Anna?"
"No," I say. "Yes. I don't know. Where's Kurama?"
"He's on his way to see Shiori. After that, I told him to get the groceries. I needed him out of the house for as long as possible."
"Why?" Normally she and Kurama get along great…
"I didn't know how long it would take you to come talk to me."
"How'd you know I was going to?" I don't understand how Shizuru makes these predictions.
"He told me what happened in the forest." Of course he did. After taking a drink of whatever's in her glass, she adds, "And just because he was too worked up to realize it, I know you heard most of our conversation."
"Why didn't you tell him?"
"You didn't want us to know you were there. I can't help it that I sensed your presence, and he didn't."
"Thanks, Shizuru." I sit down across the table from her.
"What's wrong?" she asks again.
"I'm in love with him, Shizuru." Whoa. How did that slip out? I didn't mean to tell her so soon... But why is it such a relief to say that out loud? Is it because not telling anyone makes me feel like I'm lying?
"I know." Wait, what? How could she know?
"You knew?"
"Anna," Shizuru says seriously. "I've been around my brother when he's with Yukina. More importantly, I've known Yusuke and Keiko long enough to tell you that it was a long time before they stopped pretending they aren't in love with each other. I know what love looks like, even if Kurama's too self-critical to realize there is good reason for you to be in love with him."
"Oh." I suppose that makes sense…kind of.
"I'm guessing that's not all you wanted to say?"
"Why does he love me, Shizuru?"
"Anna, you think too little of yourself. So does he. He can understand why you don't love him, but without my help, he has trouble finding reasons for you to love him. You are exactly the same way."
I look at her. "What do I do?"
"I suppose it would be the epitome of foolishness to suggest you could just admit you love him and let it take its natural course."
"I can't." I can't do that to him.
She sighs. "Of course not. Kurama won't hurt you, Anna. He doesn't often speak of real emotions, but when he does, he means what he says. And I've only seen him this frustrated and stressed out once before. His life was on the line then. That's how important you are to him, Anna."
What? Oh. She doesn't know yet. I only realized it in the last hour. "I know he won't hurt me."
"Then what's the problem?"
"I'm broken, Shizuru. I love him, I really do. But it wouldn't be fair to him. He won't hurt me, but I will end up hurting him."
Shizuru rolls her eyes. "You two are ridiculous. Neither of you thinks you deserve the other. It makes me sick."
"But I'm broken, Shizuru."
She stands up suddenly. I don't think I've ever seen her angry before. I've seen her beat up Kuwabara, but I've never seen her angry. "Then fix yourself! You think you're broken. But you're the only one who thinks that. Maybe it's true, I don't know! But since we're talking emotionally, you're the only one who can do anything about it! I'm sick of the two of you acting like such idiots!"
Do something about it? She's right. But what can I do?
Well... As always I only own Anna and Dr. Takei. As not always, there are no reviews I need to reply to, since I posted the last chapter ten minutes ago.
Why am I giving you two updates in one day? you may ask.
The answer: Today is 10/19! I felt I should do something special.
Explanation for the answer: In case you don't remember, October 19 is Anna's birthday.
Please note that the 10/19 is real time, not the date in the story. In the story, I want to say it's mid to late August (maybe).
Adios.
