A/N I'm so sorry for the delay in this chapter! I was ready to post a few days ago but unfortunately, I've been in and out of the hospital since the weekend. First with broken toes and then with MRSA, so my schedule has been blown to smithereens. Thankfully I'm on the mend now and have been discharged by my specialist, so things are looking up!

My friend also reached out to me, and though I don't think we're going to go back to being close friends again soon as there's still a lot for us to talk about, it was good to hear that they're doing okay. Thank you for all your well wishes and hopes that we'll reconcile.

On a side note, I got my first piece of fan art the other day! I keep going on about it but I love it so much, and I'm honored that Leon wanted to draw something for this fic. Check out lgarniger on deviantart and share the love!


Nick wasn't entirely convinced that what he'd made was edible, but the tod had followed the recipe from Mr. Johnstoni to the letter. Staring at the plate of food before him, Nick took a deep breath, checking the tray over once more before picking it up. When they'd returned from dinner last night, he and Judy had discussed sleeping arrangements. They'd concluded that Judy should just move into Nick's room, considering the fact she slept there whenever he was away. Judy had protested at first, wanting Nick to have his own room after so long without, but the tod had shut down her argument. He wanted her in his space, enjoyed having her around, and he couldn't imagine sleeping without her beside him. However, his room still needed painting so they'd agreed to do that this afternoon and spend the night in Judy's room while the paint dried and the fumes dissipated.

Moving through their apartment, tray in his paws, Nick slowly backed into their bedroom door, opening it. Slipping inside, the door closed with a soft click behind him, and Nick placed the tray down on the nightstand. Judy was still curled up in bed, large ears smoothed down, cheek smushed into the pillow and paws grasping at the sheets. Taking a moment to admire his mate, Nick knew today would be tough for her. He was ready to put his plan into action to help Judy overcome her flashbacks.

Reaching out, the tod smoothed a large paw down one of Judy's ears, the silky soft fur like velvet. Judy snuffled, pushing back into Nick's touch, and the fox chuckled. The sound pulled Judy from her rest, and Nick was faced with the beautiful violet eyes of the bunny he loved. "Morning, Carrots."

Smacking her lips together, Judy yawned. "Morning, Slick." She offered her mate a sleepy smile, reaching out to touch Nick's muzzle. Small fingers ran across short fur, and Judy found comfort in having her fox home. Their extended time apart had been wearing her down, and though their weekly phone calls helped, nothing could replace having her mate back in their apartment and close enough to touch.

"You looked so peaceful, I'm sorry to wake you." Nick apologized, eyes briefly closing as his mate touched his snout. He'd been tempted to let Judy rest for longer, but they had a lot to do today.

Paw falling from Nicks muzzle; Judy brought it to her mouth to hide her yawn. "I had a pleasant dream." She explained, happiness sweeping through her as she remembered what it had been about.

"Did a particular handsome fox play a role?" Nick couldn't resist teasing, wiggling his eyebrows. Back when he'd lived under the bridge, Nick hadn't dreamed often. After hustling all day his body and mind had been too exhausted. Once he'd started at the academy, though, the dreams had come back. Nick had worried they would be dark, that sleep would be difficult for him, but they'd turned out pleasant. Memories of his kithood, of his time with Judy, and scenarios for the future all carried him into sleep.

Hiding her grin behind her paw, Judy snickered. "Maybe." She evaded, moving her paw from her mouth to tuck it under the pillow.

Unable to stop himself, Nick leaned over; bring their snouts together so that their noses touched. Emerald eyes focused on violet, and a lazy grin passed over the tod's lips. "Maybe?" He pushed, curious for more.

"It was Christmas, and we went back to Bunnyburrow," Judy admitted, wiggling her nose, making her fox laugh. It had been a wonderful dream, and though Judy had been sad to be woken from it, nothing could beat being in the moment with Nick. Christmas in Bunnyburrow was equal parts amazing and crazy. All of the Hopps family came together for a giant feast, and her mom went all out with the decorations. Littermates were the only ones to exchange gifts with one another, and presents were piled high under all of the Christmas trees that were dotted around the Hopps warren.

Watching the way Judy's eyes misted over as she thought of home, Nick wondered what it would be like to spend Christmas in Bunnyburrow. The district had grown on him during his weekend there, the back porch of the Hopps warren holding plenty of memories, and he missed his little shadow, Sasha, more than he'd anticipated. "You want to go back for Christmas?"

Snapped out of her thoughts by her mate's voice, Judy shrugged. It would be nice to go home for Christmas, she'd never missed a Hopps Family Christmas before, but she knew that she had other obligations in the city, and life was no longer just about her. She had to consider Nick, too.

Nick had spent every Christmas with his mom. Christmas Day was an awful time for hustling as there were too few mammal's to con as they stayed home with their loved ones, so Nick had always taken the day off to enjoy his mom's company and her food. He didn't want to leave her this year. If Judy wanted to go and see her family in Bunnyburrow, then he wouldn't stop her, but spending Christmas without her would be tough.

"Why don't we all go to Bunnyburrow? Your mom could come with us?" Judy put the idea out there, figuring it would be a great way to accommodate everyone. Her siblings adored Nick, most of them anyway, and her parents liked Marian. It would also be a break for the vixen, a small adventure out of the city limits.

Rolling the idea around, Nick's only concern was that the sheer number of kits in the warren would overwhelm his mom. It had been a long time since she'd been around little ones. However, his mom had always been quick at adapting, and getting to take her out to the countryside and have her interact some more with Judy's family would be a positive. "We could have dinner with mom tomorrow and ask her? I think it's time to tell her about us and for me to come clean about the mortgage, too." The thought of telling his mom about how he'd cleared their debt terrified him, especially as he couldn't guess how she would react. She deserved to know; she deserved to understand what had been going on in his life, and why things were so much better for him now. Having Judy by his side would be a blessing as Nick worried the conversation could set off a panic attack, and the last thing he wanted was to go through another one of those.

The discussion with Marian about the mortgage would be tough for her fox, and yet Judy couldn't help but feel proud of him for being willing to take the first step in coming clean. It would be a lot for him, a lot for Marian too, and Judy silently vowed that she would stand by Nick's side throughout the whole discussion. She wasn't concerned about Marian possibly reacting negatively to the news of them being a couple now, if anything Judy was confident the vixen was on their side. After all, looking back at it, it was highly suspicious that Marian had bought them blankets in each other's fur color, and that she hadn't noticed or mentioned the book that Judy had borrowed on fox customs when the vixen had mentioned every other book that she'd borrowed. Noses still resting together, Judy closed the small distance between their lips to give her mate a soft kiss. "If that's what you want to do, then we'll do it."

Nodding, Nick committed to the plan. There was no backing out now. It was time to mammal up again. Pulling back from their nose boop, the tod forced himself to relax and focus on the present. "I made you breakfast."

"Toast?" The cheeky question was out before Judy could stop it, and the doe snickered at the sharp gasp from her mate. Nick was plenty of wonderful things, but a cook wasn't one of them.

"Oh Fluff, you wound me!" Nick whined, dramatically bringing a paw up to his chest, covering his heart. As the sound of his rabbit's laughter filled his ears, Nick turned to pick up the tray, placing it on Judy's lap once she'd sat up. "Omelet roll up with smoky fried potatoes, cream cheese, and watercress."

Surprised, Judy stared at the mountain of food in disbelief. There was far too much here for her. Nick had never cooked anything in his life, and yet the food in front of her looked amazing, like it had come straight out of a restaurant. "You made this?"

Grumbling under his breath, Nick nodded. "I can follow a recipe, Carrots. I'm not promising it'll taste great, but," he shrugged, gaze dropping to the duvet, feeling a little embarrassed.

Realizing how her comment may have been perceived, Judy carefully reached out, not wanting to jostle the tray, and she cupped her fox's muzzle. "Thank you, Slick." She whispered, touched that he'd gone to such effort for her.

Leaning into his mate's touch, Nick offered her a small smile. He'd never be as good a cook as his Mr. Johnstoni, and he would never be able to make as many incredible dishes as his mom, but he'd keep trying if only so that he could share the cooking with Judy, so that she wouldn't be the only one making their meals.

Giving her fox some fuss for a moment, Judy soon turned her attention to her food. Picking up her knife and fork, the doe paused as she realized once again that Nick was without food.

"I figured we'd share again…" After last night the tod knew just how much Judy worried about his eating habits, and this was another way for her to see how much better he was now. That, and he'd quite enjoyed being fed by her the last time he'd served her breakfast in bed.

Nick's tentative comment had Judy looking up, shoulders dropping as relief coursed through her. Grinning, the doe cut off a small chunk of omelet, offering it out to her mate.

Shaking his head, Nick took the fork from Judy. "Ladies first." He insisted, holding it out to her.

Indulging him, Judy opened her mouth as he brought the fork towards her and she accepted the mouthful of omelet. Flavor exploded on her tongue, and the doe couldn't suppress her groan of enjoyment. "This is so good!" She mumbled through her mouthful, knowing it was rude but completely uncaring.

"Yeah?" Nick broke off a piece for himself, popping it into his mouth. It didn't taste as good as Mr. Johnstoni's, but Nick had to admit that for his first attempt it wasn't bad. "Hm." He hummed, chewing his mouthful while he loaded up the fork again for Judy.

They ate in silence save for Judy's small noises of pleasure and contentment every time Nick fed her a forkful, until eventually, the plate was empty. Judy licked her lips, feeling full. "Thank you." She offered Nick a fond smile, enjoying her fox's grin as he took the tray from her lap, disappearing out of the room for a moment before returning without it. "What's today's plan?" The doe asked, stretching, while Nick sat back on their bed.

Nervousness set in and Nick licked his lips. This could go one of two ways; either Judy could be onboard with his plan or flat out refuse. "You need to put some warm clothes on, and your swimsuit on underneath." He explained, keeping the reason vague to not spook his mate. Judy went to protest anyway, opening her mouth, but Nick cut her off. "Please, trust me." Nick grabbed his phone from the nightstand, quickly booking a Zuber.

Unsure why her mate was so secretive, but trusting him implicitly, Judy nodded, making her way out of bed and across to her bedroom so she could grab some clothes. As they'd only decided to share a room last night, Judy hadn't had the chance to move her belongings over. Returning with her swimsuit and some warm clothes, Judy was slightly disappointed to find that Nick had already changed into an old pair of swim shorts and was currently bent down, searching in the bottom of his wardrobe.

"Eyes up, Fluff." Nick could feel Judy staring at him as he rummaged in his closet for some warm clothes, knowing that his incoming winter coat meant half of his usual clothes didn't fit.

Laughing, Judy discarded her shirt, changing into the top of her swimsuit, feeling more comfortable stripping off in front of Nick considering their antics last time he'd been home. The doe still turned around though to strip off her lower half, and it was the sound of a bag hitting the floor behind her that had Judy looking over her shoulder, catching Nick openly staring at her bare butt. "Eyes up, Slick."

Turning around once he'd finished in the wardrobe had led to a delightful surprise for the tod, and the bag he'd stashed in the closet that contained towels had fallen out of his grasp when he'd been faced with the bare behind of his mate. His dreams had sometimes centered on seeing his bunny without her clothes, but his dreams didn't hold a candle to the real thing. "Nu-uh, I'm not missing this view."

Flushing at the admiration for her fox, and still feeling the heavy weight of his gaze on her, Judy quickly finished dressing, pulling on her warm clothes over her swimsuit. When she turned back around, she found that Nick had thrown on a pair of pants and a large green jumper, the fluffy fur around his neck poking out from around the collar. She couldn't wait until his winter coat grew in entirely. "I wonder if he'd let me brush him."

Offering out a paw to Judy once they were both dressed, Nick picked their bag up off the floor as his phone binged in his pocket, alerting him to the fact their Zuber had arrived. Leading Judy out of their bedroom and down the hallway, they passed the kitchen door. Nick couldn't take more than a few steps though as Judy tugged him to a halt.

Horrified by the mess, Judy gasped. "Nick, the kitchen!" Countless pots were strewn across the countertops, utensils scattered amongst them, food splashes decorated the stovetops, and the sink was overflowing with pans and dishes.

"Eh, it's fine." Nick brushed aside Judy's concerns. He was a tidy mammal, but the dishes wouldn't take any harm while they were out dealing with Judy's ice water issue. "I'll take care of it later, don't worry Fluff."

Protesting, Judy gestured wildly around the kitchen with her free paw. "It looks like a war happened!" She exclaimed, unable to understand how one mammal could make so much mess when creating one meal.

"It did, between me and the stove. I won." Nick rolled his eyes, giving Judy's arm a tug to get her moving again, pulling her from the house and locking up behind them before they ascended the stairs to street level, where their Zuber was waiting for them.

As Nick held open the Zuber door for her and she climbed in, Judy's mind started to wander as to where they were heading. "Where are we going?" She decided not to beat around the bush and outright ask. They could be going swimming, that would explain the swimsuits, but it seemed such a strange thing for Nick to suggest they do. Judy recalled Nick saying he owed her a few dates, but this didn't really feel like one of them.

"You'll see." Nick evaded the question to the best of his ability, climbing into the vehicle behind Judy and shutting the door. He could feel Judy staring at him as they headed towards their destination, and as much as the tod wanted to tell her where they were going, he wouldn't allow himself to cave and ruin it. "Cool as a cucumber, Wilde."

Moving her gaze between Nick's profile and the view out of the car window, Judy felt the tendrils of fear start to creep through her as the car passed into Tundratown. "Why are we in Tundratown?" She questioned as Nick took her paw in his own.

"You'll see, but it's okay, I'm here." The tod knew this would be difficult for his rabbit but he wouldn't leave her side, and if at any point she wanted to go home then he'd be happy to call it quits. He silently prayed this would work though, else she'd have to be evaluated by the ZPD's medical team and that could raise issues for the future of her job. The Zuber slowed to a stop and Nick was first out of the vehicle, passing the driver a few bills as a tip before he helped Judy out, snatching their bag before he closed the door. He waited for the car to leave before he turned to their surroundings. Finnick had helped him pick out the location – a quiet park next to a factory. "Hey, it's alright. Trust me." Nick could almost feel Judy's nervousness, and the tod crouched before his mate to reassure her. "I brought you here because I know you've been struggling with ice water since Catstro."

Judy's body responded automatically, her whole body going rigid as her eyes widened. Heartbeat picking up, the doe's breathing became erratic. Concerned for his mate's well-being, Nick brought his paws up to cup her face. "Hey, it's okay. I'm here, you're safe, and it's fine. We're just going to work on overcoming it. Kit steps, that's all." The tod felt a little helpless, though he forced himself to remain calm and focused on his mate. Judy had talked him through panic attacks; he could talk her through this. His hold on her face was so gentle that Judy was able to vehemently shake her head, and Nick was quick to soothe her. "It's okay, we'll go slow. Have you heard of positive association therapy?"

The question gave Judy something to focus on and snapped her out of her funk. "No." Her voice was a whisper, violet eyes focused on emerald ones.

"You currently associate the cold water with Castro's passing, so we're going to rewire that part of your brain and make you associate cold water with other, more positive things." Nick had done some quick research on the topic when he'd had access to his phone, and outside of that, he'd asked Finnick to look into the matter and send him as much information as possible. The fennec fox had grumbled, but had come through for him and had sent Nick numerous care packages of information and medical journals associated with the theory. Nick had read everything that had been sent to him, digested it all and formulated a plan. It would take more than a few sessions for Judy to overcome her fear, and Nick knew that once he went back to the academy, there would be a large gap until they'd be able to do this again. With the addition of their plan to spend Christmas in Bunnyburrow came a new challenge – how was Nick going to keep this up while there?

Taking Judy's paws in his own, holding them tight, Nick grounded her. With their bag still slung over his shoulder, he started to lead her over to a small corner of the park, where the ice had melted away to reveal a small pool. "Let me show you what we're going to do." Letting go of his mate, he let the bag slip off his shoulder and come to rest on the ice. "The water here is a little warmer than in other parts of the district because the factory next door uses it to cool its machines." The tod started to shuck off his jumper, casting it onto the bag so it wouldn't become damp from the ice.

Stripping off his pants, Nick threw them aside too, leaving him in just his swim trunks. Cautiously, the tod dipped his toes into the water, hiding his wince at how cold it was. True that the water was warmer than usual, but it was still cool. Once Finnick had helped him find the location, he'd sent some letters to a few old friends and had cashed in some favors. They had between 30-60 minutes in the water before they would have to get out and dry off or they risked falling ill. The bag he'd brought with them contained plenty of fluffy towels and paw warmers. Steeling himself, Nick took the plunge and stepped into the water, the icy liquid coming up to his waist. Taking a quick moment to adjust to the temperature, Nick turned back to his mate, offering out a paw. "The water's fine, Carrots. I promise."

As Nick had stepped into the water, Judy's heart had felt like it had stopped beating. Visions had clouded her gaze, the thought of Nick perishing in the icy murk stealing her breath. Blindly reaching for her wrist, Judy grasped at her bracelet, screwing her eyes shut. Nick's voice had her opening them, and her vision cleared to show her fox's outstretched paw. Finding the emerald eyes she knew so well, Judy held Nick's gaze. She wasn't sure what she was searching for – reassurance, honesty, trust? Whatever it was, she found it. Shakily, Judy tugged on her jumper, removing the item to add it to the pile of Nick's clothes. The cold was biting, and Judy fought back a shiver. Dread crept through her. She couldn't get in the water. Couldn't submerge herself in the cold.

"Then how about you just put your hind paws in today?" Nick suggested, not entirely sure whether Judy knew that she was voicing her fears. Seeing his mate so startled and unsure was unsettling, but Nick couldn't back down now, couldn't give up. Even dipping a toe in would be a huge step for Judy today. His other paw reached the edge of the small pool, and the tod patted the ice. It would be cold on her butt, but Judy could sit and swish her hind paws in the water to get accustomed to it. "Nothing is going to happen to you. I'm here. I won't let anything happen." He reassured her, not wanting another flashback to set them back.

Judy had an unbelievable amount of trust in Nick, had done ever since he'd saved her from losing her badge, and now she drew on that trust. Nick wouldn't let anything happen to her. He'd keep her safe. Quietly she removed her pants, adding them to the pile as she took a few tentative steps towards the water's edge. Nick's paw was still outstretched, and like she had done countless times before, Judy reached for it. Letting her fox guide her, she slowly sat on the edge, bracing herself as she lowered her hind paws to the water. Millimeters above the surface of the water, Judy froze the descent. Images of Catstro's body bobbing on the surface of the water assaulted her mind and had the doe screwing her eyes shut, a whimper slipping from her lips.

Spurred into action, Nick leaned forward, swooping in to steal a kiss from his bunny. Distracting her was his primary aim, but it was also part of his therapy idea. The tod's ego wasn't so big as to think that his kisses were anything impressive, but they usually did the trick at distracting his mate, and that was what he was banking on for this to work. It only took a few seconds before he felt Judy go lax, shoulders dropping and small paws rising to touch his muzzle. With her suitably distracted, Nick reached for her left ankle, and at a painfully slow pace, he lowered her hind paw into the water, all the while keeping her occupied with their kiss. Nick repeated the action with her right ankle, submerging her right hind paw into the icy water before he cupped her cheeks, throwing his all into their kiss for a few more minutes. Savoring the taste of his rabbit, Nick was reluctant to break away, and he was very aware that the moment he did, Judy would realize where her hind paws were.

Ultimately he ended their kiss, resting their noses together. Judy's breathing was heavy, though whether that was from panic or breathlessness from their kiss, Nick wasn't sure. Taking one of her paws in his own, Nick placed it on his chest. "In and out. In and out." He instructed, having Judy mirror his steady breathing until she seemed calm. He watched as she glanced down at her hind paws, swishing them experimentally in the water. "You're doing so well." Nick offered her some praise, smiling as he leaned in again to kiss her. This time, he lightly grasped her waist, pulling her closer to him, drawing her a little closer to the edge. He had no intentions of letting her fall into the water, but the doe protested, and Nick abandoned his plan.

Breathing under control, Judy felt the cold water lapping at her ankles. The fear that she'd initially felt had been battered into submission by her mate, and the doe instead focused on the fact that nothing bad was happening. Her hind paws were in the water, and she was safe. Feeling a little more confident, Judy continued to swish her hind paws through the water, acclimatizing to the temperature. "You can do this, Judy. Nick's here. It's just water."

Monitoring his mate, Nick could tell she was feeling more relaxed, so he cautiously removed a paw from her waist, letting it rest on the ice beside her. Unsure how she would react, Nick's actions were slow. Making his claws dig into the ice, he slowly dragged his paw back, letting them scrape through the frozen surface. Judy's body stiffened in his arms at the sound. "It's just me. You're okay. You're safe." Nick stopped scraping his claws, instead moving to hold onto his mate, scattering light kisses across her face.

Judy was transported back to the mansion at the sound of claws on the ice, her body torn between staying and fleeing. The cold and the scraping noise tugged at her flight instinct, while the warmth of her mates embrace and the kisses she could feel being rained down on her begged her to stay. Blindly reaching for Nick, she grasped the tod, blunt claws sinking into fluffy reddish-orange fur as she pulled him closer, no longer caring about her hind paws in the water, focus solely on seeking comfort. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Judy forced her mind to focus on something else, repeating her mantra over and over again as she buried her face in Nick's neck, screwing her eyes shut, inhaling his scent.

Sensing how overwhelmed Judy was becoming, Nick decided to call it a day. Perhaps trying to get her used to the sound of claws on ice so soon wasn't a good idea. He'd focus on getting her fully into the water first, and take it from there. It took some maneuvering, but Nick was able to get himself out of the cold water and keep Judy in his arms. Carrying her over to their clothes and bag, he fished around with one paw for a towel, which he wrapped her up in. "You did so well, Fluff. I'm proud of you." He set about drying her off, slowly extracting himself from her grasp while he reassured her that everything was fine. Once Judy was dry and dressed, Nick dried himself off and put his own clothes back on, starting to stuff the towels into the bag.

"I'm sorry." The small voice had Nick abandoning his task, instead crossing to his mate. Judy stood nearby, arms folded, hugging herself with her head bowed. Gaze focused on the ice beneath her hind paws, Judy's large ears were smoothed down, teeth sinking into her lower lip.

Moving into the rabbit's field of vision, Nick brought a paw up to capture her chin, tipping her head back enough so that he could gaze into the violet eyes he adored. "You've got nothing to be sorry about." He kept his voice firm but soft, needing Judy to understand that it was okay. "I'm proud of you."

"I couldn't even deal with the noise." Unfurling her arms, Judy reached up for Nick's paw, gently prying it from her chin so she could trace her fingers over his claws. They didn't scare her, not anymore. Where once a predator bearing his claws at her had frightened her, spending time with her fox had taught her not to judge a mammal by their species or whether they were predator or prey. Yes, Gideon had clawed her as a kit, but Nick had soothed away that hurt.

Shaking his head, Nick watched as Judy played with his paws, no longer fearing that his claws would hurt her. Sometimes, when he held her close, he was reminded of how small she was in comparison, that no matter how good a cop she was or how many rhinos she took down; his claws were still designed to hurt her. Ever since he'd found out why she'd reacted so badly to his raised paws at the press conference, Nick had made every effort possible to ensure she'd never feel frightened by them again. "But you had your hind paws in the water and didn't panic." He focused on the positive, wanting Judy to see that she'd made progress today. "Kit steps, sweetheart." Lifting his free paw he smoothed his fingers over her cheek, smiling at the way she instinctively tipped her head into his touch. "We'll try again tomorrow."

Shaking her head, Judy wasn't ready to give up. She could do it, and she could overcome this. All she needed was some more time and practice. "I want to try again now." There was still no one else around, and she was feeling warmer. They could go again.

"We've spent long enough in the water for today." Nick didn't want to push it, knew that small steps would be the best way forward with this. Though Judy's drive to try again was endearing, and a testament to her strength and desire to overcome her problems, pushing too hard could have the opposite effect. Nick wasn't willing to risk the progress they'd made today.

Scowling, Judy grasped Nick's paw tightly. He didn't understand. She needed to push herself, to force herself to endure it. There was nothing to be scared of, she was just being silly. "Ni-" Her sentence was cut off by the press of her mate's lips against her own. "You can't keep doing that, you know?" The reprimand came out much softer than she'd anticipated once Nick had broken their kiss, the corners of her lips quirking upwards into a small smile.

"Doing what?" The tod feigned innocence, lazy grin in place as he slipped his arms around Judy, pulling her close, giving her no way to escape.

Giving herself over to Nick's embrace, Judy lifted her paws, letting them rest on his muzzle, giving the short fur beneath her fingers a gentle stroke. "That."

Seeking clarification, the fox leaned in close. "This?" He whispered, raining down kisses all over his mate's face, her peals of laughter echoing around the empty park. The sound was like music to Nick's ears, and the smile on Judy's lips was a welcome relief after her earlier sadness. Getting Judy to the point where she no longer feared icy water and the sound of claws on ice would be a long journey, but Nick was ready to put in as much work as was needed to help his mate. After all, she'd done everything in her power to help him.


Stepping out of the shower, Nick gave his fur a quick dry with a clean towel. He'd called another Zuber to bring them home, and he'd insisted that Judy shower first and warm up. The doe had protested, and it had taken the promise of him cleaning the kitchen while she was gone to make her see sense. Though the kitchen had been a mess, Nick had managed to clean it up in the twenty minutes it had taken Judy to shower. She'd pushed him into the bathroom then, throwing clean towels and clothes at him before she'd retreated to the living room. "Such a pushy bunny," Nick muttered with a fond shake of his head, discarding the towel in favor of the sweatpants and t-shirt Judy had picked out for him.

Throwing his towel and dirty clothes into the laundry hamper, Nick left the bathroom, padding through the apartment to find his mate, his nose leading the way. He found Judy curled up on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen, nose twitching and brow furrowed. Remaining silent, the tod watched her from the living room doorway. Concern prompted him to move, to find something to distract her with. Turning, Nick made his way into the kitchen, quietly searching in the large cupboard under the sink until he found what he was looking for, pushed all the way at the back. Pulling out the two tins, Nick placed them down on the counter, grabbing some kitchen towels to cover the surface. From the cutlery drawer he produced a knife, and gently he pried the lid off of one of the tins. The forest green paint he'd picked out several months ago met his gaze, and a wicked grin crossed the tod's lips.

Staring into nothingness, Judy replayed the morning. She hadn't had much trouble getting her hind paws into the ice water, even if Nick had distracted her, and in the end, she'd been comfortable with it. Everything had been fine until Nick had dragged his claws along the ice. That sound, it had to be the root of all her problems. The cold water was just collateral. Teeth sinking into her lower lip, Judy tried to come up with a way to overcome her fear of the sound. She could ask Nick to record it for her and play it on loop when she was safe at home, where nothing could hurt her, so she could get used to it. "I doubt that'll work, Judy." She sighed, at a loss. Without warning, her line of sight was blocked. Tipping her head back, Judy was faced with the looming figure of her mate, with a very mischievous grin on his handsome face. "Whatever you're thinking, stop thinking it."

In a blink and you'll miss it move, Nick took advantage of his exceptional agility, arm reaching out so he could wipe his fingers over the end of Judy's nose. The startled expression on Judy's face as she tried to figure out what had just happened was almost as adorable as the gasp of horror from her as she lifted a paw to feel the damp patch on her nose, fingers coming away green.

"NICK!" Judy couldn't believe it. Her sly fox had smeared paint all over the end of her nose. "Oh, you're in trouble now, Mister!" Launching herself off the couch, Judy caught Nick off guard, and the two mammal's tumbled to the ground. Struggling, Judy was surprised by Nick's strength and his moves as they grappled, rolling around the floor, careful not to get paint on the carpet. Finally, after some literal arm-twisting, Judy was able to wipe some of the green paint from Nick's finger onto his own nose, successfully earning her revenge. The sigh of resignation from her mate made Judy laugh, her whole body shaking. Sprawled atop her fox, Judy didn't care how silly she looked with paint swiped across her nose, clothes rumpled, and fur ruffled from their tussling. Nick's laughter joined her own, and the doe soon found herself staring into emerald eyes. "Thank you." Voice a whisper she brought their muzzles together, uncaring about the paint, to press a chaste kiss to her tod's lips.

Clean paw rising, Nick smoothed down Judy's ears, following through until his paw came to rest at the dip of her lower back. "Come on booger nose, we have a room to paint,"

Unimpressed with the nickname, Judy narrowed her eyes. "Look who's talking, snot snout." Dissolving into laughter, both mammal's rose from the floor.

Together they set about painting their bedroom, moving Nick's things into what would now be the spare room and covering the furniture and floor with drop clothes to avoid getting paint on them. Paintbrushes and rollers in paws, Nick and Judy set about painting the walls, somehow managing to splatter some on each other as they worked.

Once one wall was finished, Nick stepped back to observe their handiwork, but not before he threw open his bedroom window to let some fresh air in. "We should paint two walls purple." Nick decided, envisioning the color of Judy's walls. They were going to be sharing the space, so they might as well share the color scheme.

"I don't mind green, Slick." In truth, Judy didn't want Nick to change his plans for the room too much. This was his first bedroom as an adult, and though he'd insisted on them sharing, Judy wasn't going to take over.

Mulling it over, Nick decided to put his hind paw down. "Two walls green and two purple. This is our bedroom now." The tod decided, leaving the room in search of the leftover tins of purple paint under the sink.

Shaking her head fondly as she watched Nick leave, Judy's smile felt like it would split her face. Reaching for the radio with her free paw, she turned it up as the sound of Destiny's Cub came through the speakers.


Dinner had consisted of take-out, both mammal's too tired from their afternoon of painting and tussling to cook. After eating, they'd been forced to shower again to remove the specks of green and purple that had mysteriously appeared on their fur. Now, together on the couch, Judy was no longer lost in her own mind, and Nick hoped she'd be receptive to revisiting Tundratown tomorrow.

The tod was reluctant to break their peace, but with his limited time at home, some conversations needed to be had, ones that he could no longer put off. "Carrots." Reaching out, the fox smoothed a paw down Judy's back, the doe sprawled over his chest as they lay together.

"Mhm." Judy hummed, eyes shut as she enjoyed their closeness. The feel of Nick's paw sliding down her back made her shudder, and she arched into his touch, wanting more contact.

Nick knew the conversation he was about to start had the possibility of turning sour, so the tod forced himself to think before speaking. The last thing he wanted was for them to argue, but Judy needed to understand how serious he was about the issue he was about to raise. "How much does your family know about my past?" The question was innocent enough, and Nick kept his tone as light as possible, bringing his paw around to rest on Judy's waist.

Eyes opening at the question, Judy frowned. Moving so she could see her fox, violet eyes found emerald ones. "Not a lot, just that you were having a rough time before we met." Her mom and dad hadn't asked for much information about Nick, uncharacteristically trusting her judgment when it came to the tod.

"I told your parents the full story, the one I told you at mom's house." Nick set the ball rolling, opening up first and sharing. He'd promised Judy on the back porch in Bunnyburrow that he'd confide in her. Opening up to Bonnie and Stu hadn't been as scary as Nick had anticipated. Instead, it had been very freeing. He still kept in regular contact with Bonnie, the pair of them exchanging letters and when he had the chance, phone calls. Sasha was always lingering, wanting to speak to him, and he had quite the collection of letters and drawings from her pinned to the wall next to his bunk now.

Judy's jaw dropped. "What?" She knew how much Nick hated talking about his past, how he felt ashamed by his years on the streets, so the fact he'd willingly opened up to her parents caught her off guard. Her mom and dad hadn't mentioned it to her, hadn't given any indication that they knew. The realization that this meant Nick trusted her parents also caught her off guard. Nick's trust was hard to earn, yet he'd opened up to her parents after only a few days. What had happened on the back porch when she'd ran away like a scared kit?

"I told them after my panic attack, before you came out to join me. They needed to know, I didn't want there to be any secrets." Nick sat up, back resting against the arm of the couch as Judy slid into his lap. The new position meant the doe had to tip her head back slightly to keep her fox's gaze, but it was more constructive to their conversation. "I didn't want there to be anything that could come out later that could lead to them disapproving of me. Disapproving of us."

Shaking her head, Judy knew that even if her parents had disapproved of Nick, she would've stood by his side and done everything in her power to make them see how great he was. The doe loved her parents and respected their opinions, but she wouldn't let them dictate how she was to live her life. "You don't have to tell my parents everything."

Shrugging, Nick didn't feel the need to hide anything from Bonnie and Stu anymore. They'd welcome him into their home, treated him like one of their own, and had looked out for him when he'd been worried about losing Judy. Telling them about his past had been his way of showing his trust and appreciation. He'd heard horror stories about mammal's not getting on with their future in-laws, and the tod was pleased that didn't seem to be the case for him. "Your brother did mention something to me though, when he and I spoke on the porch before we left. He knew that I'd spent some time on the streets."

Inhaling sharply, Judy mentally cursed Julian for opening his mouth and letting it slip that she'd told him about her tod's past. "Remember that he and I fought on your first night? He wouldn't listen to me, I couldn't get anything through his thick skull." Even though Julian had come around since then, the doe still felt a flare of anger at the memory of how her brother had treated Nick. She'd wanted her fox to feel welcome in her family home, and Julian had almost ruined that. In her anger, she'd said more than she probably should have.

Nick could remember his first night in Bunnyburrow well. The disagreement between Judy and Julian had made the tod feel awkward, and he'd been ready to leave so the Hopps warren could return to normal, but his mate, her mother, and little Sasha had convinced him to stay. What had gone on between Judy and her brother when they'd left to duke it out was still mostly a mystery to the fox, but he was starting to piece it together. "What did you tell him?"

The idea of hiding how much she'd revealed to her brother momentarily crossed Judy's mind, but she knew she had to be honest with Nick. The last thing she wanted was to lose his trust by lying to him. Teeth sinking into her lower lip, Judy's gaze dropped to Nick's chest, expression becoming neutral as she recalled her spat with her brother, feeling guilty for telling Julian so much about her fox. "I told him about your family business, that your dad was killed, that the firm collapsed, and that at twelve you left home…" She paused for breath, wringing her paws together in her lap, reminded again that she shouldn't have shared any of it without Nick's permission. "That you have food issues because of it and that you had no one to turn to."

Pain flared in Nick's chest as his suspicions were confirmed. "You told him everything." His tone was flat; disappointed that Judy had been so frivolous with information.

"He wouldn't listen, Nick! He couldn't see past your species. I had to make him see you for the mammal you are. He needed to see how far you've come." Judy lifted her head, trying to back-peddle, to explain her reason for sharing so much with Julian. She hadn't shared the information with malicious intent; all she'd wanted was for her brother to see sense. Sometimes being slapped with the hard truth could do that.

Reaching up to tug at one of his ears, Nick shook his head. "That information wasn't yours to share, though." He pointed out, finding Judy's gaze. He didn't want to argue with her, didn't want this to turn into a fight, but his doe needed to understand that at the time he and Julian had been far from friends and that sharing private information about him put the tod on edge. He was used to keeping his cards close to his chest.

Eyes finding the tufts of cream fur poking out of the collar of Nick's t-shirt, Judy let out a shaky breath. "I realized that the moment I'd said it." At the time she'd felt some guilt but had believed the ends justified the means, yet ever since that night it had bothered her when she thought about how much she'd told Julian. Judy gave up, violet eyes lifting to find emerald ones as she reached out for her mate, small paws finding his muzzle, which she gently stroked. "I just wanted him to understand. I wanted him to back off and actually get to know you, to see you for the wonderful mammal you are, and not judge you because of your species." Julian's prejudice towards fox's had surprised the doe, she'd always assumed her brother was open-minded and forward-thinking. The disappointment she'd felt to learn that wasn't the case hadn't been pleasant, but he seemed to be getting better now that he was trying to forge some kind of friendship with Nick. If they went back to Bunnyburrow for Christmas, Julian would have more time to bond with Nick. "He's my littermate, he won't say anything to anyone. You're right though, it wasn't my information to share, and I shouldn't have told him in the first place." Paws falling from Nick's muzzle, Judy let them rest in her lap, not daring to break eye contact. "I'm sorry." She poured all of her honesty into her apology, not having intended to hurt her mate. It was a testament again to the fact that she could no longer just think of herself in situations, she had to consider Nick and his feelings now too.

Silent for a moment, Nick could see that Judy was genuinely sorry, that she understood that it hadn't been her place to reveal his past to others. While other mammals might try and punish their mates for such an action, be it through the silent treatment or being a bit off with them for a few days, Nick knew there was no point crying over spilled milk. What was done was done, but hopefully, Judy now knew not to bring it up with another mammal again, even if they were family, without talking to him first. "I won't lie, it hurts that you went and gave him information I gave you in strict confidence." The grief and guilt that crossed Judy's face tore at his heart. "I'm letting it go this time because I know you only had the best of intentions, that you wanted to make things easier for me in your family home, and that emotions were running high. Next time something like that comes up though, please come and speak to me first. It's a touchy subject for me and one I only feel comfortable sharing with those I'm close too." After twenty years of not trusting anyone, opening up took a lot for Nick, but he knew that once he and Judy came clean about their relationship to her family, hiding his past would be virtually impossible.

Nodding frantically, Judy's shoulders sagged with relief. Worry had coursed through her when Nick had confessed his hurt, the doe believing she'd messed up big time and had lost some of Nick's trust. She'd never meant to hurt him, it had never been her intention. "I will, I promise. I'm so sorry."

Needing to touch her, Nick brought a paw to Judy's cheek, cupping her face as he stroked along her cheekbone. "I know. It's fine." He ended the conversation, not wanting to dwell on it. He had something else he needed to talk to her about now.

He'd had some time to think this morning about the conversation he'd had with Bandit last night. The arctic fox had made some valid points and given Nick some food for thought. Hiding the meaning of the bonding bracelet from Judy had been underpawed, and it had been sly, a stereotypical trait he wanted to shake. "Can I talk to you a little more about this, please?" The tod reached for Judy's paw, lifting it so that they could both see her bracelet.

"I thought you told me everything about it?" Unease swept through Judy at the thought of Nick hiding some more information about the bracelet from her. She thought they were over that, they'd agreed to no more secrets. The idea of Nick hiding something else from her made her stomach roll.

Nodding, Nick licked his lips. "I did. I want to explain why I didn't tell you about its meaning, though." There were many layers to Nick's issues, and the tod was slowly peeling them back, working through them one by one. It was a slow process, at times painful, but he wanted and needed to face his demons. There was too much at stake now.

"You thought I'd reject it, and you." Judy could remember the conversation they'd had in Bunnyburrow like it had only happened yesterday. It had the most stressful discussion of her life, and it had ultimately changed her life. It still tore at her whenever she recalled the things Nick had said, how he'd listed all of the qualities he'd perceived as making him a bad candidate to be her mate. She hoped now that Nick was starting to see how little any of that mattered.

It didn't surprise Nick that Judy could remember that evening and the deep conversation they'd had. It had been emotionally draining for the fox, but getting everything off his chest had felt good. "I want to explain why I thought that."

"You said it was because you felt like you had nothing to offer." Judy continued, not sure how much more Nick could explain. He'd told her a lot on the porch and had been forthcoming with information when she'd asked for it. Sure it had taken her a while to back him into a corner and to initiate the conversation, but once the ball had been set rolling, Nick hadn't had a problem informing her about her bracelet and everything that went along with it.

"In part, but I think it stems from more than that." Since that night, Nick had had plenty of time to examine his thoughts and feelings, working through them while he was away at the academy. Judy was a perfect sounding board, and her help with his issues was greatly appreciated, but there were some things that Nick had to work through on his own. He'd had time to look back at what had caused him to act in such a way, and his conversation with Bandit last night had only affirmed his need to share more of his past with Judy. A lot of his self-esteem issues and fear of rejection could be traced back to his species and how other member's of society treated fox's, but he could see now that an incident when he'd been a kit had probably contributed to the issue too. It had been a turning point for him, when he'd started to bottle things up and assume the worst of everyone. "I was ten, maybe eleven, and it was a month before Christmas. I was still going to school but not actually paying attention. I didn't want to be there, I didn't think it was the best use of my time, but I stayed because it was the done thing and I didn't want mom to worry about where I was in the day when she was trying to keep the business going." That had all changed when money had become so tight that they'd been struggling to pay the bills and the debtors had been threatening to take assets from them.

"We had a class gift exchange planned for the last day of the semester. Our teacher decided it was a good way to boost the holiday spirit. There was this vixen, Evie, and I had a bit of crush on her, everyone did." Nick confessed with a shrug, spotting the small smile on Judy's lips at his admission. Kithood crushes were common, and Evie had been the prettiest vixen in the whole school. All the males had fancied her. "We had no money, but I still wanted to give her something. I'm not very creative, unless it involves hustling, but I had access to a tailoring business, so I decided to make something she could wear. The wife of one of our old tailors could knit, and she would often sit in the corner of the shop knitting for her grandkits, so I asked her to teach me. I spent four hours every night for two weeks with her, learning her hobby." A fond smile crossed Nick's lips as he recalled his time with Mrs. Clifford. She'd treated him like a grandkit and had been exceptionally patient with him as he'd tried to understand the basics of knitting.

"I picked out the best yarns we had in store, and I spent a week and a half knitting Evie a jumper. It wasn't some gaudy Christmas themed one, though. It was baby blue and soft. She liked daisies, so I managed to put a pattern of daisies in it. By the end, my paws were sore, and I swear I was going cross-eyed, but I'd made something. I'd created something for someone else." The image of the jumper was burned into Nick's mind. It hadn't been perfect, far from it, but for his first attempt, it hadn't been terrible. Nick hadn't tried his paw at making anything else since. Occasionally, when he walked past a store selling a jumper in the same shade of baby blue, a pang of pain would blossom in his chest. "When the gift exchange happened, I was last. I'd managed to swipe a blue gift box from a market stall, so I presented it to her in that. When she opened it…" Nick trailed off, averting his gaze.

Dread settled in Judy's gut as her fox trailed off, and she reached out to him, smoothing her paws over his muzzle in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. She wouldn't force the story out of him, wouldn't demand that he carry on, but she would show her support and care and hope that Nick would willingly open up and continue for her.

Judy's paws grounded him, offered him comfort. Keeping his gaze focused on the wall over Judy's shoulder, he continued where he'd left off. "There was this bully called Huxley, he liked to steal my lunch and push me around, and when he saw my gift he just couldn't resist making a few comments." Nick snarled, blood boiling as he thought about the young rhino and the years of torment he'd suffered at his hooves. "He made comments about my family's predicament and about the gift I'd spent a month working on. The rest of the class laughed at me, Evie even tried to hide her laughter behind her paw." Nick snorted, shaking his head, jaw clenched and lips downturned. "I couldn't stand it. I fled. When school started back up after Christmas, I asked to move classes, and even then my attendance began to drop until, at twelve, I moved out and gave up on school altogether so that I could help mom."

Listening to Nick's story, seeing the pain in his eyes and the anger that had his body going taut, Judy's heart broke. The image of Nick as a kit being humiliated like that made her want to scream at the injustice of it all. Many kits were bullied, it was a sad fact of life, but Judy had never thought her fox would be on the receiving end of such torment. From the little she'd heard from Marian about Nick's kithood, he'd been happy and carefree, always smiling and helping others. He'd given Marian no indication that other mammals at school had been picking on him.

"The last time I gave someone something I'd put all of my love, thought, and care into, it was thrown back in my face, and I was laughed at for it." Gaze leaving the wall, Nick finally focused back on the violet eyes of the bunny in his lap. Handing the bracelet over to Judy had been terrifying, and he'd watched her every move as she'd opened it, examined her expression to make sure her joy had been genuine. After the jumper incident, the only mammal Nick had ever given present's to had been his mom, and she'd always accepted them with love and thanks, liking everything he'd been able to give her.

Horrified that Nick would think that she would throw the bracelet back in his face, though she could see why he'd considered that an outcome, Judy felt the need to reassure him. "I would never…"

"I know." Nick cut her off, moving a paw to stroke along Judy's cheek, gently dragging his claws through her fur. "I just. It doesn't excuse my actions, the fact I kept its meaning from you, but I hope you understand now why I was reluctant to tell you. I should've been honest with you, should've trusted that you wouldn't throw it back at me." Guilt had nibbled away at him once he'd returned to the academy, and it had only gotten worse when he'd been informed of the abuse she'd received from other mammals when they'd spotted it around her wrist. Fear had held him back, and he knew that wasn't a good enough reason, but it was a hard thing to overcome.

Even when she hadn't known the true meaning of the bracelet, it had been apparent to the doe that it had been given with love and affection. A mammal didn't just buy another mammal jewelry unless they cared. Did Judy wish that Nick had been more forthcoming with the bracelets meaning? Yes, yes she did, if only because it would've saved them from awkwardly dancing around their feelings for so long. If Nick would've told her on her birthday how he felt, she would've jumped at the opportunity to date him and would've kissed him senseless right there and then. The past couldn't be changed though, and they were together now. They needed to look to the future, and working through Nick's issues, finding the root cause of them and talking about it, was all part of the healing process. "It's okay to be afraid, Nick. What happened was horrible, and if I ever come across Evie or Huxley I will personally kick their butts, but you can trust me with everything, even your secrets, and your fears."

"I trust you completely." Nick cupped her face, offering his rabbit a small smile. Trusting another mammal was tough, there were no guarantees that he wouldn't be hurt in the future, but he was willing to put his heart in Judy's paws and hope for the best.

Eyebrows drooping and mouth curving downwards, Judy struggled to believe her fox. She knew he trusted her to some extent, but she wasn't sure he completely trusted her. "Do you? You're always acting so possessive about me around others, like you're worried I might stray." She was careful to keep her tone neutral and non-accusatory, not wanting to start a fight between them. They'd come far this evening, their serious discussion not having dissolved into an argument. Judy wanted to keep it that way.

"It's not you I'm worried about, it's everyone else." Nick didn't know how other mammals were thinking, weren't aware of their motives or morals.

Judy hated to point it out, but Nick needed to see his behavior from her perspective. "Yes, but that implies that I would stray, that I could be tempted away from you, which isn't fair on me." She watched, as Nick remained silent, emerald eyes searching hers before his shoulders dropped, realization setting in that she was right. She'd never stray, would never be unfaithful, but she understood why Nick was worried. Reaching out, Judy grasped the underside of Nick's muzzle, forcing him to hold her gaze and know the weight of her words. "I love you with every fiber of my being, and I'm not going anywhere, not going to run away or leave you, but you need to start loosening your grip a little and start trusting me some more. I know others hurt you in the past and that it's hard to believe you won't be hurt again, but I'm not going anywhere. Start by trusting me with that."

Nick knew that Judy was speaking sense, but the thought of losing her sent fear coursing through him. He was starting to see though that he couldn't smother her. He had to trust that she wouldn't stray, had to believe in their love. "I'm sorry. I forgot how frustrating dealing with emotions is. I don't mean to come across as overbearing, I don't want to smother you or hurt you, or make you think that I don't trust you. It's tough coming to terms with the idea that someone actually wants to stick around. I guess I'm back to being emotionally unbalanced." Nick aimed for humor, remembering their conversation on the sky-tram.

Knowing how her fox always fell back on humor when he was uncomfortable, the doe slowly let go of his muzzle, leaning in to press a sweet kiss to his nose. "Just keep coming to me when you have issues, keep telling me things, keep letting me in, start trusting that I'm here for the long haul. I mean, I'm still wearing my bonding bracelet, so you're stuck with me for life."

Emerald held violet and the tod nodded, the corners of his lips quirking upwards. "Life doesn't sound bad at all, Fluff."