A/N: One more left till the end...for now. I don't own DC Comics characters.
Chapter 29: The Final Blow
The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted on the evening
I give the final blow.
"It Ends Tonight," The All-American Rejects
If things did not happen as they did, I wouldn't have believed it. I would have told you that you were crazy. I would have kicked and screamed until you admitted you were wrong. Unfortunately, it was all going to come crashing down, and soon.
I realized as I walked down that aisle that I had gone soft. I was not the person I used to be, and the person that I truly wanted to be inside.
It was too late now. John was what I wanted. I wanted this normal life. Didn't I?
The music was deaf on my ears, and everything seemed to go in slow motion, like I was watching from the sidelines. Everyone's faces was blurred; the only one I could see in that congregation was him, staring at me with the saddest eyes I had ever known.
It was all but breaking me down.
I couldn't even John's face at the front of the aisle. I assumed that he was smiling, glowing even to see me at my best, to see me as his wife. Would I ever be happy? What was wrong with me?
I kept walking, not feeling the ground beneath my feet. People stood up as I walked down, smiling at me, but I couldn't register any emotion. My face was blank. All I could focus on was the fact that he was here, and that he was in love with me and I was breaking his heart.
I shouldn't care.
I should care about the man waiting for me.
Everything that happened next was not what I had planned. Of course, nothing ever is.
The Joker stood up, and I stared at him. Our eyes met, and in that moment, I knew that I loved him. I halted where I stood, impacted by that sudden thought.
I still stared at him, frozen solid.
He moved, just barely. He still stared at me as he pulled out a gun. It shone against the light streaming through the stained-glass windows.
He stood under a statue of an angel, my very dark own angel without his wings. I couldn't even deny the irony in that.
I couldn't move anymore. My blood had run cold in my veins; I was like ice. He was going to kill me, and I was going to let him.
I deserved what was coming to me. He wanted to kill me. He had been planning this all along, ever since the cemetery.
I closed my eyes shut, not wanting to see the bullet.
As my eyes were squeezed shut, I heard screams like background noise.
A shot was fired.
I waited for the pain, for the agony, to see the light, my life flash before my eyes, and hear the bells ringing in my ears.
But I felt nothing.
I opened my eyes, and looked down. Not a drop of blood on me.
It was then that I realized that his target hadn't been me.
I had opened my eyes in time to see John fall to the ground, a bullet shot right through his head.
I remember screaming, but I couldn't hear myself.
Everything was chaos around me; people were running, frightened and like rats on a sinking ship. Suddenly I could see it all clear. I saw the look of shock on John's face, and saw his body crumple to the ground like a rag doll.
I kept screaming, and screaming, but no one heard me among the din.
My heart raced in my chest, and I couldn't even think straight. I pushed wildly through the crowd, trying to get to John, to touch him, to tell him everything would be alright…even though I knew in my heart wouldn't be.
I rushed to him, and the minute I reached him, I knew he was already dead. He had to be. A shot to the head never ends in a miracle. I stared down at him, not knowing how to feel.
All of the emotions I had inside came out right then; I let out a strangled cry, and fell onto my fiancé's body, sobbing harder than I ever had in my life.
It was the most difficult thing I've ever done, holding John's body in my arms. I saw my tears fall onto his blood-stained face, feeling like I should die. I had loved him, and the Joker destroyed it all again. How could he do this to me? I had been happy.
But suddenly I realized that I would never be happy without him in my life. He was meant to be there, tormenting me forever.
I don't know how I knelt there, cradling John's body and shaking violently. My dress was ripped and ruined, but I didn't care anymore. In this moment, I just wanted everything to end.
I felt my mother and father try to pull me away from John, but I held fast, still crying like I would never stop.
It was then I looked up and saw the face of my fallen angel across the room. He stared at me with a look one could compare to anguish, and he pulled a match out from his pocket.
I wondered vaguely what he would do with it, and then noticed in front of him, a puddle of viscous liquid, dark and thick.
He was going to burn the church down.
He was going to kill all these people.
I jumped up, mind suddenly alert. I ran to the front doors of the church, losing my parents in the confusion. I pushed and pulled at the doors, pounding on them with all the effort I could muster, but no luck. He had locked them, barricaded them.
I collapsed on the floor, barely breathing. The smoke was suffocating me. I had to find a way out. I needed to live. I couldn't let myself die like this, not while he was still living. He wouldn't get away with this that easily.
I shoved people away as I ran for the back of the church, trying to find a bathroom. It would have to have a window. I found a door on my right, and pushed it open. There was a small window, but it was definitely big enough for me to get through. I stood on the sink, slipping on the marble. I took off my shoes, and threw one through the glass, shattering it.
I climbed out the window and fell ungracefully onto the grass outside the church. I coughed violently, trying to release the smoke and ash from my lungs. I began crawling away from the building.
Once I had made it to a safe distance from the burning building, I stood up shakily, staring at the wreckage in front of me.
I sank weakly to my knees, tears running silently down my face.
This was too much for one heart to bear.
I felt like my heart was ripping apart at the seams, like the pain would never end.
This seriously doesn't happen to normal people.
My parents were dead now, too, the people who cared me about the most…and John, the one who wanted to treat me like a queen, the innocent people of this town that I doomed by living here. It was my fault. I was the one responsible for all of this madness, for all of this death.
God, why don't you just strike me down now while you have the chance?
I'd be better off dead, with everything I know and love gone.
I then saw the Joker's retreating figure in the distance. He dropped the smoldering match onto the sidewalk as he strode away.
I knew exactly what I had to do.
