Hey. Me here. No I'm not dead. Sorry for keeping you waiting. For the last few months there has been, and still is, several worrisome illnesses in my family. My mother is having surgery on the 14th of May and I really needed a distraction. Hence: this. I wish I could say it was born of wanting to write but I needed it. Anyways, I want to thank everyone for sticking with me even though everything has been hectic. I will try to keep this story going, Lord knows I'm not done with it.
Thanks to those that wished me well and encouraged me to keep writing. You know who you are. All of it is appreciated.
Now! Enough with the mushy stuff. lol.
Enjoy!
Doctors are stupid.
Apparently I have a concussion, which, naturally sucks like hell.
And a concussion, as I've come to discover, also scares parents and teachers silly at the mere thought of a dizzy blonde girl returning to school. No idea why. I mean, its not as if once returning home from the hospital, I meant to make the world spin and for the door that totally wasn't in front of me a second before to slam me in the face, and its not like I meant for the cold hard floor to suddenly be there.
Okay so maybe I tripped. Big whoop. How is that any different from my normal routine? That's not out of character people. I run into, over, and through shit like nobody's business. I'm practically a professional at being fucked over by gravity.
So ya know what? Fuck you adults. Fuck you and your rational decisions. There I said it.
Yeah that's basically been my day so far. When I hit the hardwood floor during gym yesterday my head bounced off it. Or at least that's what Chelsea told my mom before we left the nurse's office to go get my face fixed.
Well, there's really no fixing this. My nose, I mean. It's all swollen and red and huge and red and gross. And red. And apparently it's gunna stay that way for at least a week. Ya know, and I was super looking forward to going through my entire life without breaking a single bone. So much for that life goal.
It's nice to have a dream.
Though its not all bad. Okay, well most of it is but there is a silver lining. Surprisingly.
It's Ashley. God, just the thought of her has me grinning like a moron on a sugar rush. I honestly wasn't expecting a visit from her. Not that I'm complaining. She stayed for well over an hour before it was time for her to go.
She hugged me before leaving. I seriously didn't want to let her go. It was...amazing. Having her in my arms, talking, laughing, simply being near her. It's stupid but all we did was talk and laugh and share stories as we sat cross legged on my bed...but it was still amazing. She managed to make me forget about how hideous I looked and had me laughing. Well, until my ears began ringing a little because of the noise irritating my annoying concussion. She understood that volume was a problem and got quiet as I waited for the room to stop spinning.
I actually wanted to lay down a few times, go to sleep, rest my head but the thought of not being able to talk to Ashley sounded worse. So it didn't become an option.
Then, as we were laughing again, much more softly this time, at whatever stupid thing had come out of my mouth her eyes found their way behind me and brightened a bit. "Do you play?" She had asked.
I had no idea what she was talking about and I answered as such with a confused frown.
She gestures to whatever she finds so fascinating behind my back and I turn. My eyes scan the various clutter I have in the corner. All my art supplies were heaped in and crammed in a vaguely chaotic semblance of order on my work station. Well, what my mother calls my personal land fill I call my work-in-progress station. It was basically a long white desk with drawers beneath on either side of where the person would sit. An interesting looking shelf design rested toward the back against the wall which I had jimmied my desk lamp on in such a way as to create light at the perfect angle. It looked weird how I had it but it served its purpose. The table was able to recline, which was my favorite part about it. Xander set it up for me. Which my mother complained about non stop since he had to take it apart and cut it into specific pieces. Xander is actually brilliant at taking things apart and putting them back together but he had rigged my normal horizontal desk to be interchangeable. Thus letting me do work more effectively so I wouldn't strain my neck.
I blush at my obvious mess.
I was just about to turn and apologize for my untidy room when I saw it.
Oh. That's what she means.
I turn back to her and wish I can shake my head as an answer. But I can't, unless I want to worsen my headache. I stand up and walk over to the corner and grab it carefully by the neck and bring it back with me to the bed.
We settle ourselves as we both examine the love-worn acoustic guitar in my lap.
"It's my Dad's, actually. It was his when he was a teenager. He doesn't play much anymore. Not with this one at least. He bought another one a few years ago and let me have this one. Well, at first it was because I needed it for this random art project I was so eager to do. It required taking it apart and using the different pieces for this sort of mosaic thing I guess." My hair seems to bounce as I chuckle. "I don't know. It sounded brilliant at the time but now it kinda sounds weird. Eventually after having the guitar in my possession for a few weeks...I just lost my motivation for the idea...so I never did it." I smile as I scratch the faded neon blue guitar strap resting on my knee. "I guess...it just didn't feel right...taking it apart I mean." I shrugged.
Ashley nods, her smile gentle and knowing. "I get it. It's your Dad's. Personally, I can never bring myself to donate any of my dad's guitars, even though he has so many. I guess it's just hard thinking of the space it would leave." Her voice becomes wistful and she trails off, her eyes losing their spark, their life as she seems to be stuck in a memory.
I don't interrupt as I watch her for a moment. My lips curve into a slow smile. Thankful that she gets it when I had begun to lose track of the words to explain further.
That...and it also could have something to do with the fact that my dad sang me to sleep with this thing almost every night until I was eight. So, no. I couldn't - I just couldn't do it. A part of him - and a little bit of me too - was in this thing. The memories surrounded it. Held it close and warmed them, saving a spot for when I revisited there later.
I dragged my eyes away from the guitar. Ashley was watching me, smiling softly, a caress of understanding I felt in her eyes.
I inhaled and blinked a little since shaking my head was not the smartest thing to do given my current state.
Wow. She asks me a simple question and I bleed my life story to her.
I blush at my thoughts. "But um to answer your question...no. I don't play. Much." Be honest you Lilly liver! Stop trying to impress her and just tell the truth. I roll my eyes at myself. "Well, okay I don't play at all. In fact I'm pretty sure I'm tone deaf. So playing would just make the morning birds mad as hell and possibly violent."
Well, that's dramatic.
Ashley laughs. "Oh come on. I'm sure you're not that bad."
I nodded gravely. "Oh trust me. I'm awful. Downright tragic."
"All you need is a few lessons. Nothing a little practice can't cure."
I chuckle, my thoughts somewhat self-deprecating. "Oh yeah and who would be dumb enough to risk their ear drums to tutor me?"
"I guess, I would." Ashley smiled. I paled a little.
Oh.
Damn. I can't tell if you called her dumb or if she called herself dumb but someone's an idiot.
I look at her, shocked. "Really?"
I just blink at her.
Oh my shit balls, she just gave us more reasons to hang out with her. Why aren't we jumping for frickin' joy right now?
Because with my luck jumping would probably lead to brain hemorrhaging.
Ashley takes in my expression with amusement.
"Spencer it's just guitar lessons. We're not spelunking into a bat cave."
Ha. Spelunking. Funny word.
I pry the stupid amused grin off my face and look at her for a moment, becoming serious, my words quiet.
"You don't have to, you know." I don't want her to feel like she needs to just because she's the most obvious choice. Even though I wouldn't care if she was the worst guitar player and was as tone deaf as a rooster with bronchitis, I'd still want her to do it.
Her eyes were soft, an inexplicably warm texture that I wish I could wrap around myself and doze off without a care. "I know. I want to. That is, of course, if you want to."
"Oh I do!" I squeak. I reign in my eagerness with an iron fist and bitch slap it into submission. Cool your shit!
I cough gruffly. "I mean...I do. Ya know if, like, I have time and stuff."
Ashley grins. "Great. This'll be fun."
I smirk, it's small but I manage. "If you say so."
"Oh it's been said." She smirks, her nose crinkling briefly. "And speaking of how right I am," It surprises me how fast she can go from that playful timber and then to... that voice. My heart and I wallow in our commiseration as her tone dips low, and drips with suggestion, encouraging my heart into a frenzy. "Be prepared for a rude awakening. I've been told I can get a little ...carried away when I'm teaching. It's best to just do as I say and ask questions never." The curl of her lips and the twinkle in her eyes make my insides warm and mangily. Oh sweet Jeebus.
Just the thought of ... well the general insinuation - was she insinuating anything? - Guhhh...
You're hopeless.
So much.
I snort in my throat, which let me tell you feels as pleasant as it sounds. "Is this the part where I call you Mistress?" It's out of my mouth before I can wrangle it in. I want to slap myself so hard but that doesn't seem like the best of ideas.
Ya think?
Ashley, for her part, doesn't seem disgusted or creeped out. Actually, she looks... struck, astonished, and dare I even consider, incredibly curious. Amost intrigued, I think. Her brown eyes never look away from me as she bites the corner of her lip, chewing delicately at the soft looking flesh. My eyes zero in on it. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Her lips tilting up.
It's there again. That tingling, anxious feeling, in my stomach. Really, it never really leaves me, but Ashley seems to make it feel even more obvious. Every instinct, every silly hormonal bit of me wants to lean in. Just lean in and kiss her. I want to. Golly do I want to. Yet, I can't help but feel like I shouldn't.
Or maybe you're just scared.
Or maybe I'm...yeah.
Before I can think about that too long a knock at the door kills the mood in the room. Dad, armed with smiles and kind eyes, pokes his head in the door and tells us that its getting late.
I turn my head and look at the droopy clock on the wall. It's runny looking design reminiscent of Salvador DalĂ's famous surreal artwork.
It was getting late. Well, it was only eight-thirty but I'm sure my parents were only trying to limit my excitement for the rest of the day. It's not like I'm going to be getting much excitement anytime soon given that I'm on house arrest for the next few days. Stupid doctors.
But now that we're all caught up to the present, the only excitement I'm experiencing right now is watching dust particles float lazily through the few rays of light streaming in from my curtains.
I'm. Bored.
I'm pretty sure I would have found watching the Doodle Bops more enjoyable than this, but sadly, they weren't on this morning. Sigh.
I turn my head to look at the clock and note that its only been five minutes since I last looked at it. Ugh. At this point I'd be gung ho to go to a fricken' dentist appointment. And I hate going to the dentists.
Maybe I'm being dramatic, I don't know.
I wonder what Xander and Chelsea are doing since I'm not there.
Probably making out, I think randomly. I laugh unabashedly at that. Yeah, right.
But even still, those two are like evil geniuses when they're alone together.
I'm kinda wigged at that thought.
The last time I was absent from school I came back and was unknowingly scheduled for auditions for a play that I didn't even know existed until they told me that same day.
I shudder at the thought of what trouble those little sneaks could get into when I'm not there to complain about it. I tilt my head.
Course, complaining and general foot stomping has never really dissuaded them from being irritatingly meddlesome before.
I lose track of time as I slip in and out of unconsciousness. Its only when I hear the door bell ring do I finally shake myself out of it. I grunt and grumble like the tired grouch I am as I force myself out of bed and trudge down the stairs to answer the door.
"See. This is what you get for rough housing." Is the first thing Xander says when I open the front door. Besides being bored all garsh darn day, I am also not in the mood to be teased today. Not when I look like this anyway.
"I'll show you rough housing..." I growl softly.
Chelsea rushes between us, holding her hands up.
"Okay! How about we get you aggressive kids inside before you get blood on the porch. I think Spencer has shed enough, thank you." Chelsea ushers us in; which is funny since its my house, but I don't complain. I'm too tired to point that out to her.
After my friends grab a drink from the fridge and Doritos from the cupboard we make our way to my room.
"Eeesh. Tough break." Xander grins once he gets situated against my headboard, shoes and socks having been tossed somewhere on the floor. Xander yucks and elbows Chelsea with a significant eyebrow wiggle. I swear I can almost hear symbols crashing rhythmically in the distance. Xander's eyebrows, however, already say 'da da ta' without much need for sound effects.
I groan.
"Wow. That was so funny I forgot to laugh." I deadpan. "Oh wait. I guess I didn't...ha."
Chelsea scoffs and smacks Xander on the shoulder, glaring at him disapprovingly. He drops his elbow and winces as he rubs his arm.
Xander just grins. "Still worth it."
Chelsea sighs and folds her arms.
I pout. "You really want me to kick you out, don't you? Say the word and your wish is my command."
Xander laughs and I almost complain about the volume but refrain. It's not like I was enjoying the silence when I was sitting in my room alone. God that sounds sad.
"My wish huh? Can I get that in writing."
"Fuck you. My deformity is no laughing matter!" I huff.
"Oh come on! You can hardly see it...that much..." Xander tilts his head as he scrutinizes my face. I frown and cover my nose with my hand.
"Stop staring at it." I hiss.
"Sorry man. It's kinda ...hard not to. Damn that thing prolly has its own climate. I think we discovered a new land, ladies and germs."
Chelsea smacked his chest. "Stop it." She chastised. Xander's smile falls a bit.
"The doctor said the swelling would go down in a few days. So ...lay off." I mumbled miserably.
Xander grimaces, his eyes sympathetic. "Sorry. I don't mean anything by it. You know you still look gorgeous. I'm just messing."
I look at him for a moment and then nod. "I know. I'm just...I feel like I'm going insane." I say as I hold the side of my head carefully, wishing the meds could take away the feel of the pulsing thump thump thumping of the evil little men that were hammering away at my skull. I feel more than hear a pained sound escape my throat. My patience has been wire thin all day. "I'm always tired and my head is always throbbing." I grunt with a pout and notice as I look up, with slight embarrassment, that both my friends' expressions soften. I'm whining and I need to stop. Like right now.
I grunt and look away.
Needing a change of subject I ask about what's been going on at school during my absence. Even though its been a day a lot can happen in a few short periods.
My friends jump into an entire discussion about how Pitts started blubbering in the halls when the new teacher offered him a hello this morning. Later Chelsea supplied that the new teacher was Ms. Wyler and Pitts was sweating more than usual after the exchange. I cringed and nodded at the right moments. I asked offhandedly, maybe too casually, how Ashley was. However, the knowing grins I got for my efforts made my face burn.
Xander mentioned that she had asked about me and that she had said hi.
"She looked like she wanted to say more but I think passing along dirty how-are-you's to your studly male best friend was pushing it. Poor girl. Personally, I wouldn't have minded." Xander says with a shrug.
I smack his leg. "Pig."
He grins innocently. "Hey. I'm just being honest. Can't fault a guy for honesty."
"I can if your being that honest about my -" I clamp my mouth shut and shove the possessive words down with brute force.
Xander grins, very amused. "Your...?" He drawls.
"Forget it."
"No come on."
"No forget it. Just drop it."
"Xander leave her be."
Xander rolls his brown eyes, his eyes still smiling as his lips fight a smirk.
Chelsea tells Xander that they should be leaving soon. I can practically feel my limbs sag like dead weights at the mention of them returning to school. I should be there.
The sound of Chelsea's soft voice reminds me that I'm not alone, at least for now.
"By the way, remember that redhead from gym?"
My ears perk up at that immediately. My eyes narrowing.
"You mean the suspiciously aggressive one that pile drove a volleyball at my face? That redhead?"
The girl didn't even flinch at my suddenly hostile tone. "Well yeah. Though I doubt she meant to -"
"So. Who won anyway?" Xander interjects curiously, unhelpfully, might I add.
"The ball." I reply flatly.
Though I think it only fouled off my face, I think sourly.
I grunt at Xander's boisterous laughter.
Chelsea, always the peacekeeper, tries to calm the conversation.
"It was an accident. The girl even apologized for the whole thing."
Before I can micro-manage every high pitched inflection of my voice, my tone, my goddamn unnecessary volume, I'm shouting. "You spoke to her?!" I shriek, my words echoing painfully in my ears.
Chelsea's words are slow, cautious as she watches me. "Yeah. She even asked how you were doing."
"Lies! All of it. She hates me Chelsea. Cunt! Remember when I told you that she called me a cunt! Or have you forgotten that glowing detail recently?" I'm so mad I could spit; and I think I probably did after that rapid-fire swear storm.
Chelsea sighed. "No Spencer, I didn't forget. But I didn't know it was her when you- "
My eyes are wide. "Cunt, Chels!"
"Spencer, could you possibly lower the volume? I don't think the rest of LA heard you yet."
I know how loud I am goddamnit!
"It needs to be heard. This chick is evil, Chels! She's freaking nuts! Nuts I tell you!"
The only male in the room snorts loudly from his place against my pillows. "She's not the ooonly oooone." Xander sing-songed under his breath.
My eyes snap to him, wide and furious. "What was that?!"
"Nothing oh God don't hurt me!" Xander cowers under his hands, flinching away from me.
I huff and turn back to Chelsea.
"I'm serious, Chels. She's bad news. It only took a hairline fracture to finally figure it out but I'm a believer."
Why can't she see the danger here? I mean, hello, example A sitting right here. Please lets all take a moment to direct our attention to the mangled blob at the end of my face as reference. My nose didn't bludgeon itself.
Chelsea purses her lips as she contemplates something. Eventually her brown eyes flick to me.
"Okay, fine. Let's just say for hypothetical purposes and because you're scaring Xander...that you're right...about this-" She gestures.
"Psychopath." I supply.
"I was going to say girl but whatever moves the conversation along..." Chelsea sighs. "So this-"
"Psycho." I interject helpfully. You're welcome.
"Girl is out to get you...why exactly?"
I shrug and cross my arms, angry face firmly in place. Okay, firmly is an exaggeration. It's mostly hanging precariously since my face is beginning to hurt.
"Because she's a crazy motherfucking bitch and I got the lead before she did."
Chelsea looks skeptical. "That's it? No 'years ago my great great great grandpa ran over their family dog and now she's sworn revenge'?" Her hands gesture ridiculously in the air and I look at her like she just sprouted two heads... out of her nose.
"When has that ever happened? Like ever?"
"When has your situation ever happened- "
"Now! It's happening right fucking now! Are you even listening to this conversation?"
Chelsea looks bemused. "Yes and now I'm starting to wonder why."
"Because a crazy lady is out to get me!"
"Oh, right. That. Okay," Her eyes closed as she breathed noisily for a second, my eyes burning enviously while she inhales and exhales like a normal human being. Opening them again once she was done with her impromptu breathing exercise, she looks at me. "First of all. You need sleep. You look like you just went five rounds with a semi."
I scoff. "I can't help it if these bruises make me look like a demented raccoon wannabe."
Xander snickers and I slap the top of his naked right foot, making him squeal and pull his legs protectively to him, mumbling a curse and words like 'uncalled for' and 'so unladylike' under his breath. Chelsea and I ignore him.
Chelsea groans loudly. "Thats not what I - I didn't mean it like that, okay? I meant you just look tired."
I sigh through my mouth and look away. Suddenly feeling more drained than I have all day. Sooner than I would have liked, it's time for them to go. The three of us grudgingly get up, Xander, I notice taking more care than needed to lace up his boots and secure them under his pant legs. Chelsea busied herself with folding the quilt that had fallen on the floor sometime last night and placing it with care on the end of my bed.
I tell them to grab a drink on the way out and they smile gratefully. Before long we're back on my porch. I sigh and fold my arms against the California breeze.
"So I'd hug you but I've already been threatened bodily harm more than once today. I don't want to chance it." Xander smiles and dips his head in acknowledgement instead.
"Whatever." I chuckle throatily.
"If he won't, I will." Chelsea smiles and hugs me tightly from the middle. I hug her just as fiercely and eventually break away.
"Gross." Xander mutters.
"So this is what love feels like?" I mused.
Xander grins. Chelsea, however looks suddenly stern. I don't like stern at this moment.
"No crazy conspiracy theories about this Amanda chick while we're away."
"I make no promises, mom." I say evenly.
"I'm being serious now. The ...issue at hand sounds ...vague. I mean you know I'll always support you Spence but right now you're standing here with a concussion and you're probably tired and really confused. Its normal in your condition. I've even had one when I had that freak biking accident. Its easy to get things mismatched and out of order. I'm not saying you're crazy-"
"We aren't?" Xander side whispers.
Chelsea continues like she hadn't heard him. "I'm saying take a day and just stop. Stop thinking and relax and be well. Recover and come back to school and be healthy. Alright?"
"Yeah but-"
"Over analyzing a look until you're pulling your hair out is so not productive. Nor is it good for your roots." Chelsea points out.
I feel like I can't grasp anything in this conversation. "But-"
My best friend sighs. "What I'm trying to say ...is whether I believe or not I have your back." My face falls despite her well intentions. "But my job right now is making sure you get rest. So get your skinny white ass in that house and get some motherfucking sleep, bitch." Her soft demand is said so warmly and without any trace of frustration or malice. It's so Chelsea that I almost wish she hadn't said anything at all. Maybe that would have been better than hearing how much she doesn't believe me. That she thinks I'm simply exaggerating the situation because of my stupid concussion. I hate the fact that I almost understand her logic.
I note with embarrassment that my eyes begin to sting. God. I'm so tired and frustrated I want to cry. This is so stupid.
"You always do know what to say to make a girl feel better." I deadpan.
"What can I say. I'm a charmer." Chelsea doesn't smile, even though its something I would expect her to do. Unless she noticed the tears hanging for dear life on my lashes. Xander looks uncomfortable as he looks hard at his phone. With shame in my gut, I have my answer.
"Clearly." I murmur.
They leave.
After a quick word with Glenn, my shaky legs carry me to my room and I crawl into my bed and just cry until I finally exhaust myself completely.
By now its well past time for school to be over and I'm home alone and sufficiently bored. Glenn left to do...something. I forgot what he told me.
I tried drawing but after an hour of that and squinting my eyes for so long as I caressed the sketch paper lovingly with my pencil and carefully etched details where they were needed, my headache came knocking on my cranium with a persistence that made me groan softly.
I rubbed my temples as I looked at my unfinished work.
Ashley's soulful eyes stared back me, twinkling with mischief and life. They couldn't compare to the real thing by any means but it was familiar and it gave me a comfort that quelled my loneliness for a moment. I needed a reprieve. Everything has been speeding up lately with no signs of stopping. And life seems to only be getting faster. I can hardly keep up. Life up until any talk of this play had been normal, continuous, always moving, always one step in front of the other. As life tends to be, but lately, it's like it's running, sprinting away from me and giggling playfully as it looks over its shoulder to see me lagging behind. I don't know how it got that far ahead of me or how I could possibly catch up to it now that it was only a dot in the horizon; but I would keep coming. I wouldn't stop.
I chuckle, it's gurgled and muffled as it leaves me once my thoughts finally register. Look at me getting all introspective. Oprah'd be proud.
Giving up on my current project for now I brush my art supplies unceremoniously off my bed with a lazy brush of my arm and then set my closed sketch pad gently on my side table. Eh. I'll clean all that up later. Or a week from now when I'm not an invalid.
Lazy.
Very.
I lay my head back against my comfy pillow and sigh softly as I close my eyes, the lids falling over my blue irises with an almost resounding clang. In my mind its loud and obvious, and yet so incredibly satisfying I find myself smiling, if only slightly.
My headaches are sporadic but they're there. And they're annoying as all hell. But the constant urge to just stop what I'm doing and find a comfy place to doze on any cold hard floor I happen to be standing on rivals my need to complain as much about those symptoms.
I'm constantly tired. A lag that I simply can't shake. It's in the marrow of my bones, a heaviness that I can't seem to lessen. My eyelids feel heavier than forcing a steel door open with your pinky finger.
I've already napped for an hour sometime around early 11. Glenn had thankfully woken me up promptly like I asked him to. And after Chelsea and Xander left, I had managed another hour until Glenn woke me up again. But all I want is to crawl right back to unconsciousness and extend my stay. I'm tired damn it.
My eyes hold a constant dull sheen - though that could be the meds too - as my lids are leveled at half mast.
I probably look like shit, and yet, I couldn't care a flippin' fudge bar right now.
And the doctor said I shouldn't indulge in my drowsiness. But I could care less what the doctors think right now. They're not the ones totally exhausted right now for no reason.
Distantly, I hear the house phone ring. I should probably go get that.
After another chorus of ringing I remember that Glenn's not here and I push up from my bed and trudge down the hallway to the phone.
RINNNNNGGG!
"Alright alright! I'm comin'! Hold yer Kool-Aid!"
Taking a calming breath and releasing the grogginess and general unhappiness from being roused with a nasally exhale, I answer.
"Hello, Carlin residence." I answered pleasantly.
It was silent on the other end.
I pulled the phone away from my cheek to check if it was being a bastard and turned itself on mute again. It does that every so often. Because it's a bitch.
Hmm...nope. No mute and the screen is stilling counting up the length of the call. I put the phone back to my ear with a frown.
"Hello?"
All I could make out was the sound of someone breathing on the other end. I scrunched up my face, nasal pain included and mouthed a 'Oh hell no' as I glared at the wall.
"Okay listen perv, I have your number on my caller ID and my dad is a cop so you better not call-"
"What?! Oh my God I am so sorry! I didn't hear you answer till you said that. My total bad."
I felt my brow rising incredulously.
"Kyla?" I looked at the number again. Yeah it was still unfamiliar.
The bubbly voice on the other end starts shooting out words at rapid fire. "Well this is not how I planned this phone call. It was supposed to be clean and friendly. Of course the tension would be almost stifling at first but it wasn't supposed to be this awkward. And this time it's not even your fault. Not that there's anything wrong with you being painfully awkward or anything."
"Kyla!" I exasperated. I had been repeating her name monotonously for the past two minutes. God this girl did not have an off switch. I wonder if Ashley wished her sister was born with a mute button like a I wish Glenn was born with a hygiene button. And I do, every night before I go to sleep. I'm still waiting for it to happen.
"Wait don't hang up!" I raise an eyebrow at that.
I wasn't going to but that would have been a really good idea. Too bad I didn't think if it sooner.
I shift my weight to my other foot as I cross my arm over my stomach. "Fine. What can I do for you Kyla?" My words are flat as I stared hard at the wall.
"I wanted to do this in person, I mean, this should be done in person but I wasn't sure if it would be appreciated if I came to your house to do this. I mean I certainly wouldn't appreciate it if I was in your position. Not that there's anything wrong with having your face flattened by a volleyball and living to tell the tale. Um wait, that didn't come out right."
"No it didn't but its fine." I say.
"No it's not. It's so totally unfine. It's like the un-est of fine as far as situations go. Fine shouldn't even be in our vocabulary at this point. Fine should be on a one way trip to Guam right now. And I don't even know where Guam is but it sounds far so I'm guessing its somewhere over the equator-"
"Sweetie, you're rambling."
There's a crackle of exhalation. "Right. Sorry. Okay so I called to apologize for the other day. I was a dick. A major fucking asshole and I'm sorry for those things I said. Had I known you were there -" There's a slow heavy sigh on her end. "Well that doesn't really matter. The point here is I shouldn't have said those things to begin with and I apologize for that."
I find myself shrugging at no one. "It's okay Kyla. Alls forgiven I guess."
"For reals?" Her shock is obvious, even over the phone.
"Yes. For realsies." I even smile as I say it so she can hear it.
"EEEEEEEEEEEE! Oh my God that's great news!" I can practically hear her bouncing on the other line.
"Isn't it?" I say as I finger my ear with a wince. Holy friggin' shit. Are my ear drums bleeding?
"It is! I'm so happy you said that. I seriously thought you were going to be mad at me forever. I know Ashley's still pissy at me. And that girl can hold a grudge, let me tell you." She makes a noise as she laughs. I hum as I listen.
"But anyways, this is probably mondo bad timing but I feel I should ask."
Even in my drugged up addled brain I know where this is going.
"Yuh-uh." I stare up at a spot on the wall as my arm over my stomach seems to tighten. I should have expected this. A part of me actually did.
"But I was hoping that our little tiff hasn't changed your mind about the play."
Tiff she says, ha I say.
I pull the phone from my ear as I sigh. I said I forgave her or whatever, so that's what I need to do. Snarktastic remarks aren't helping make that believable.
Even though she kinda deserves them.
Exactly.
Being nice is no fun at all.
Tell me about it.
I hear my name being called distantly from the phone that I had pressed to my chest. Putting it back to my ear I force my voice to be more pleasant.
"Yeah maybe. I mean, my nose is still ...well, purple so I don't know if-"
"Oh hun that's what make-ups for. Girl a little coat of foundation, a little blush and your skin will look as clear and pure as the day you were born."
I'm pretty sure I was all blotchy and pink when I was born but I get the gist.
"Uh ok."
"Great! So I'll e-mail you the rehearsal schedule. We had a meeting yesterday but well, you weren't here - but like, it's totally cool and stuff."
"Thanks." Her eager tone makes me grin slightly.
"Oh it's no trouble. It's the least I could do after-"
"Kyla, drop it. I've already forgiven you okay. I just ... kinda want to forget this whole mess."
"Gotcha. Say no more."
"Great."
"Oh and by the way, I totally don't care about what happened the other day." She chirps.
"Um... okay?" I frown.
"Not that I would care that you're hot for my sister. It's actually wonderfully dramatic when you really think about it. I mean, acting like you're in love with Misty slash Ashley probably won't be necessary since, ya know, you are."
My heart stops completely.
"Um... there's a point to this right?" I can't keep my voice from shaking. This is not a conversation I thought of having with Kyla. Ever. True it may be. Either way, it's not like I want that news to be fanned around and aired all over the place. I'd like to keep my ragingly obvious attraction to Ashley Davies as tight-lipped as possible. For now that is.
"My point, my dear love struck star, is I don't hate the idea."
That shocks me to the core.
"You ...you don't?"
"Nope. Not really. I mean, sometimes I even think Ashley could be into the idea but then again, I've never seen her show interest in any girly parts that weren't her own so... yeah. Good luck with that."
Jeez. And I thought Amanda was discouraging.
I know right.
"Oh um. Yeah, cool. Thanks... I guess."
"It was no problem. I'm rooting for you Spence. I'm sure she likes you too."
"Yeah." My words feel choked in my throat, halted and unsure. It feels like someone stabbed my heart without me noticing and now the delayed pain is finally registering and making my muscles shiver.
"What?" She's after my silence.
"It's just...the way she..." I trail off here. Suddenly feeling like I'm right back to square one with Kyla's sister. Her incredibly confusing sister.
"Sucked face with you? Yeah that was surprising for sure. Definitely makes you wonder." She replies thoughtfully.
It's silent, uncomfortably so, well maybe that's mostly on my end.
"Well anywhoosie!" I blink at her randomness that surely rivals my own. "I better get back to rehearsals. Which is probably going to be mostly diva coddling and less work. Ugh. I swear if Amanda throws another chair I'm going to make her eat her script." Kyla grumbles.
That snaps me out of it.
"Wait, what about Amanda?"
"Hmm. Oh she's just in a foul mood today. Like really foul. Yesterday she was all hunky dory you'd swear she had won an Emmy or something. But today she's unusually bitchy."
I ponder that. Her mood yesterday makes sense, making her competition bleed all over the place I guess would do that. Ya know if you were psychotic. But I wonder what happened today?
"Do you know what upset her?" I ask, already feeling like I'm pushing my luck.
"If I had to guess I bet it's because of the fight after lunch."
My eyes widen. "Fight. What fight?"
"Her and Madison Duarte totally beat the shit out of each other. I heard it was epic."
I gaped. "What?"
"I know! I didn't even know Madison knew Amanda. People said they heard arguing in the girls bathrooms, ya know the ones by the art building."
The one Amanda cornered me in. I rolled my eyes.
"Lots of shouting and such. Really Desperate House Wives material, you know. Then Amanda comes charging out and Madison follows and then boom - cat fight."
"Just like that?"
"Well no. I'm sure there was awesome build up. I was with Andi at the time so I didn't see it. Ashley saw it though."
I pause before asking my next question. "Do you know what the fight was about?"
"Nope. Probably vicious kitty's marking their territory or something. Probably PMSing at the same time. Who knows?" Kyla sounds irritated that she didn't know all the details either.
"Huh."
"The stuff you miss, girly. I seriously don't envy you." Kyla chuckles and I smile weakly even though she can't see it.
"Well anyways I really need to get back out there before these crazy monkeys break something. We have a long way to go before the sets are finished but we're getting there." She says excitedly. "I'm glad we could work things out Spencer. Get well soon, okay?"
"Okay. Thanks Ky."
She hangs up and I'm left contemplating what I just heard.
I blink, dazed. Well, that was interesting.
A fight? I'm absent for one day and there's a fight. And not just any fight but a fight between two of my not so favorite people. Could it just be coincidence? I put the phone back on its cradle and return to my room.
It has to be. I'm not that special.
I lay softly on my bed with a frown.
But still, Madison should watch out for Amanda.
I grunt at the thought.
I can't believe I'm defending Madison of all people, but between the two she is definitely the lesser of two evils. And Amanda is eeeevil.
I don't know if I should be relieved or worried that I'm not the only one on Amanda Wallace's radar.
Oooh. Drama. So there you have it folks. Took me a bastard long time but its up. :) Reviews are incredibly encouraging. Its definitely what helped me get my butt in gear these last few days.
Also Happy Mother's Day you guys!
P.S. Editing is awful. I hate it. I'm sure I left mistakes but I stopped editing at 3 AM last night so yeah. If there's mistakes don't tell me. I'll get to it at some point.
- Lil' Miss
