Title: Welcome Home
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: Law & Order: SVU
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Jack and Benji have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: Olivia continues to work at establishing her family and learning how to navigate motherhood while still serving with SVU. There's lots of challenges for her ahead as she adjusts to the changes in her life, surmounts new situations and legal troubles for her and her adopted children, and tries to find some time and space for herself in it all too. This is the sequel to Hello, Goodbye.
Author's Notes: This AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Most of the chapters will ultimately take place outside of the work environment, so there aren't going to be too many references to cases from the show. But this story would generally be starting in about Season 15 of the show. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.
"Hey Johnny," Brian greeted as he came into the squad room.
Munch glanced up from his desk. "Romeo, Romeo – wherefore art thou, Romeo," he quipped drily.
"Yeah, that shit hasn't done anything for me," Cassidy said.
"Perhaps you don't understand the context of the infamous line, my young squire," Munch suggested.
Cassidy made a noise at him. "Shakespeare's never been my thing, Johnny – especially the romantic crap."
"Oh, it's not romantic crap, dear Romeo. It's a tragedy of historic proportions."
"Tragedy sounds more like what either of us is used to operating in," Brian said.
There was some truth to the statement. More truth to the fact that romantics didn't do much for him when it came to Liv. Not that that was a bad thing. He could manage the little gestures. The flowers, the paying for dinner, the necessities. But some how it all seemed pretty contrieved. It wasn't his thing. It always seemed a little off coming from him. He might as well bring chocolates and roses and become the stereotype so everyone could laugh, if he was going to try to pretend he was romantic. Liv would likely join them in the laughing. And then kick his ass in private. She'd be thoroughly unimpressed he brought her private life into her public life. Even being there was toeing a line. But it was allowed – since she was the one who'd told him to meet her there.
It made him wonder where they were going and how long any of it was going to work. Sure, it was still the early days. It'd take time to sort shit out. There was a lot to sort out and Liv had a shitload of hang-ups. Some he understood. Some he thought she was just being her usual tight-ass self about.
It was proving to be a rough balance. He loved getting to spend time with Big Man. But he really wanted fucking alone time with Liv too. So far that wasn't really happening. He was telling himself that it'd only been a couple weeks. But the reality was, it wasn't just the couple weeks. It was the summer too. And, he wasn't sure when it was going to change. His schedule meant that they didn't have a lot of free time that matched up that well and the times that did – it was usually primetime for family stuff and for Liv being a mom stuff. Not to mention, he could tell that Liv was still wrapping her head around how to be a mom and be a woman, girlfriend, partner, whatever. It wasn't like Brian really knew how to balance the whole dating a single mom thing either. They were both kind of flying by the seat of their pants.
So far, though, there hadn't been a date beyond their day in bed. And that wasn't exactly a date. But he also certainly wouldn't argue about getting another morning or afternoon like that one. Though, it'd be nice to get some one-on-one time of her out of the apartment – without Big Man. Especially now that hopefully any alone time they had without Big Man might not be spent talking about what the fuck they were doing. However, he also imagined that that was going to remain a prominent conversation – until they figured out how to do whatever the fuck it was they were doing.
It wouldn't be so bad if Liv would let him stop by before shift or after shift – depending on the day – after she had Ben down for the night. Get some time to chat or chill or fuck around. But that didn't seem like it would be happening any time soon. Maybe it'd be cool if Jack would fucking babysit the kid so he could take out to dinner (and preferably back to his place) on one of his nights off. But that also likely wasn't going to happen anytime soon. The kid definitely needed time to warm up to the fact that they were a couple – and that sure didn't seem like it was going to be happening overnight either.
There was the vague hope that maybe shit would get easier in a couple more weeks. When he shifted back to a day job. Maybe his hours would match hers more. They could sort shit out more. He'd have time to spend with Liv and Ben without Jack feeling like he was always crashing in on the family time that he wanted carved out for himself. But as much as it might help – it was also going to be a point of contention. He wasn't sure how the fuck they were going to handle it.
Sure, Liv was being supportive at the moment. Saying that she was glad he was getting his shield back. That she was glad that Tucker was keeping his word. That she was glad he wasn't going to be stuck on nights and a fucking zombie anymore. But they both knew that she wasn't happy he was landing with IAB. She didn't have to say it. He knew her history with them. Fuck – he had history with them too. It wasn't exactly like it was his first choice on where he wanted to land. He almost would've preferred to be on fucking Laundromat robbery duty than IAB. Almost. But it wasn't like he had a lot of choice in the matter and he had to fucking start his climb back up somewhere.
Being a detective again would be better anyways. Back on detective salary – even if he was bumped back down to 3rd grade. Detective hours were generally classified as office hours – and with IAB, it really would be fucking 9-to-5 90 per cent of the time. It'd give him the time and the income to actually be a decent boyfriend, he thought – especially to a single mom. Liv didn't need some fucking wash-out. She wouldn't stick around with someone that wasn't pulling their weight. Hopefully this would be better.
But even with it being better – it wasn't like either of them was fucking broadcasting it yet. One of them was going to have to say something eventually, though. Before people found out themselves. Because it was going to be fucking awkward as fuck. Who the fuck liked a rat? Or wanted to be around one?
"At least you've made it this far," Munch told him.
Brian shrugged. "Pretty sure she's just keeping me around for my ride at this point," he said. There was likely some truth to that too. Liv was fucking making more use out of his truck that month than he did most months.
"Your silver stead," John nodded.
"More like my Silverado," Brian quipped but then looked at the older detective. "What's the deal, Johnny, you coming to Big Man's party on the weekend or not?"
Munch sat back in his chair. "Will there be any hokey pokey?"
"It's a kids' party. There can't be no hokey pokey going on," Brian put back to him.
Munch allowed him a smile for that one. "I'm not sure that young master Bingo requires my presence. Nor do any of the other children want it," he said.
"Com'on, Johnny," Brian said. "Liv wants your presence."
Munch just gave him an apologetic look.
"You know you're already in the dog house for not giving her a heads up about you bailing out of here," Cassidy said.
"Je ne regretted rien," Munch said.
"Yeah, well, speaking gobbley-goop isn't gonna earn you any points with her either," he said. "You're just worried Big Man's party is going to out do your retirement bash."
"I do hear there will be strapping firemen at Bingo's party. I just can't compete with that," Munch said. "Especially in the eyes of the women folk."
Brian shook his head at that comment.
"Are you coming to MY party?" Munch put back to him instead.
"Johnny, com'on," Brian said. "I don't wanna miss that." He gave his long-time friend and mentor a look. "There's an open bar." He earned another smile from the elder detective. "But if you piss off Liv, I can't say I'm going to be there."
Brian looked around the squad. "Where's she at anyways?" he asked, and glanced at his watch. He thought he was running late. But apparently not compared to her.
"She's got a Prep-in-the-Box," John said and nodded his head off down the one hall.
Brian just gave a small nod and glanced around the space. Looked like everyone else had managed to escape the place in short order at quitting time. Must've been a slow day.
"She got anyone with her?" he asked.
"Rollins," Munch said.
"Captain gone for the day?"
"He's sailed off into the wild blue yonder," Munch said.
Brian nodded again. "Think she's going to be much longer?"
"Don't know," Munch said but then nodded his head in the direction of the lounge. "Kid's in there."
"Ben?" Brian asked confused. It'd be unlike Liv to have pulled him out of daycare. She far preferred him to be sequester up there than holed up in the bull pen and within viewing distance of potential scum.
"Pukey," John corrected.
Brian gave him a look. "Jack?"
"I do believe that is his proper name," John said.
"He's still here?" Brian asked, surprised.
He'd known that Jack had tagged along with Liv after their meeting at the lawyer's. He'd gotten a couple texts about the meeting and a brief phone call. General gist – it hadn't gone great. But he also knew that Liv wasn't expecting it to go great. But did anything that involved lawyers ever land on the positive experience end of the spectrum? Still, he would've expected the kid to have taken off by now. Headed into work or whatever.
He thought he was getting an almost date with Liv. Even if it was errand based and focused on catering to Big Man. He'd still hoped he'd be able to convince her to stop for a bit and eat. Though, even then he knew they'd likely be talking about the party and the giant list of things that needed to get done in the next few days. It was fucking ridiculous. Who knew a fucking party for fucking five-year-olds was so much fucking work?
But with Jack still there alone time was seeming more unlikely. He wondered if their errand run was even going to happen or if when Liv got out of the box she'd be telling him to go home. Or to go and do some of the shit himself because she was going to either be stuck in the precinct all night or stuck coddling Jack all night.
So, he decided to check out the situation on his own. A bit of a recognizance mission to see where shit was at. He gave the lounge door a brief tap but didn't wait for any response before going in. Jack was just sitting with his back to the door – staring off into space. It seemed to take him several sections before he even registered that he'd come in.
"What are you doing here?" the kid asked him flatly. He sounded fucking defeated.
Brian shrugged and leaned against the jam for a minute before stepping inside and shutting the door behind him – giving them a bit of privacy. But the kid might hate that.
"Supposed to be doing some birthday errands tonight with your ma," he said.
"She's working," Jack said and went back to staring across the room at nothing in particular.
"Yea, I noticed," Brian said and moved to take a seat at the opposite end of the couch. The kid didn't nudge or acknowledge his presence in any way. "What are you doing here?" he put back to the kid.
The shrug was returned to him. "Just sitting."
Brian gave a little nod and moved his eyes to across the room too – attempting to see what the kid might be staring at. There wasn't much to look at.
"Liv told me things didn't go so great today," Brian finally said.
Jack just shrugged again and Brian allowed a little nod.
"That sucks," he provided.
The kid shrugged again. They sat quietly for a bit. They both stared across the room at nothing in particular.
"You know," Brian finally said, still keeping his eyes cast across the room. "My dad. He wasn't so nice to my ma. Beat the fucking shit out of her. For a long time. But it wasn't until she was pregnant with me and he pushed her down some stairs that she realized she needed to get the fuck out of there. That was the straw that did it for her. That made it click that she – we – needed to get the fuck away from him.
"But can you imagine how fucking hard it was to make that decision? She just picked up and left. Took what she could put in a bag and left. Didn't have anything. Didn't have anywhere to go. Didn't have family in the city. Baby on the way. No money. That's fucking scary shit. It takes a lot of fucking guts to know when it's time to leave and to do it when you've got nothing and nothing to go to."
Jack didn't say anything for a long time. Neither did Brian. He just stared across the room too.
"I thought you said Olivia didn't talk about our past," Jack finally said. There was a quietness to it but a mild touch of anger.
Brian gave him a look. His eyes were still set across the room. He shrugged. "She doesn't. Not much. I'm just not as dumb as I look," he said. "I've been around long enough to know some shit. To be able to see shit."
"I don't think you know shit," Jack said flatly.
Brian shrugged. "I know it took a lot of guts for you to get the fuck out of your situation too. And I know that whatever decision you're making right now might seem like a big decision. But it's not. You already made the big decision. This shit? It's just rubbing some salt in the wounds you didn't get enough time to heal. But, you know, in that situation you just fucking wash shit out and move on."
"You really don't know shit," Jack said.
Brian just looked ahead. "Yeah, OK," he agreed.
They were quiet again for a while but he gave the kid another glance. Sometimes he didn't think he was ever going to win the kid's respect or approval. That sort of thing hadn't bugged him a long time – but with this kid, with Liv's kid – it did.
"I know you pretty much hate my guts …" Brian said.
"I don't hate your guts," Jack said flatly. "I don't know you well enough to hate your guts."
"I guess that's a decent start," Brian said and eyed him. "I'd say that's an improvement over the previous vibes you've given me."
Jack finally cast him a look and it was a full-on glare at that. But Cassidy just eyed him back.
"Look, if there's anyway I can help you out with making this decision easier – with washing the salt out of those wounds, you let me know."
"Why would you want to do that?" Jack said with clear annoyance.
Brian shrugged. "I don't know. Because I'm pretty decent at this managing crap crap." The kid eyed him. "You want an extra bodyguard and a truck if you decide to go get your shit – I'll make it work. You want someone to make sure Big Man's OK …"
"Jamin is NOT staying with you when we go to the farm," Jack said firmly.
Brian shrugged. "Yeah, figured if you guys didn't take him with you, you'd be leaving him with Alex. But, you know, I can help make sure that she's not losing her mind or that he's not losing his during that period, if you want."
Jack eyed him for a long time but then shifted his head back to looking across the room.
"So you're not working tonight?" Brian asked.
"I called in," Jack said quietly.
He gave a small nod. Kid was hurting. This kind of shit had a tendency to dredge up old wounds. Likely bad timing. But there was never going to be good timing. Brian could just hope that the kid could see how good he had it. He'd hit a fucking gold mine with Liv. That kind of luck wasn't even a once-in-a-lifetime. Giving up some money and a last name – it didn't seem like a bad trade-off in the grand scheme of things. The kid was going to have a life. His kid brother was going to have a life. Neither of them really could be saying that if things had panned out differently.
"So you planning on staying with your Ma tonight?" Brian asked.
Jack shrugged. "I just wanted to talk to her a little more," he said quietly.
Brian gave a little nod. "Yea. Guess you guys have a lot to talk about." They were quiet for a bit. "I was going to take Liv out for dinner while we're doing the birthday pick-up stuff. You wanna come?"
"No," Jack said. "I want to get to talk to my Mom alone. Without you."
Brian looked across the room. "Yea. You know, I think, that maybe shit might be easier if you didn't think about all that past crap. I think it might be good for you to focus on some of the here and now crap that makes up your life. Your ma has got to get some of this birthday crap done. Three pairs of hands and sets of eyes and ideas and shit will get it done a lot faster. And you've known Ben the longest. You're closest to his age. You remember how this birthday crap works. So come with us. It will be fun."
"Doing groceries are not fun," Jack said.
"Yeah but buying junk food is," Brian said. "And I think she wants to go into some party shops too. Get some loot bag crap. Prizes or whatever. That for your games?"
Jack cast him a look.
"Come," Brian said again.
Part of him was fucking kicking himself for giving up some alone time with Liv. But maybe getting some time with her and Jack would be even more beneficial in the long run of things. And, at least if Jack was tagging along, he'd likely guarantee that he'd at least get time with Liv rather than being cast aside so she could do her mom duties.
"Kid I will take you to the best fucking burger joint in town if you come and save me from having to fucking pick out do-dads for fucking goodie bags. Because you know no matter what I'm going to be picking the wrong shit and she's going to be giving me some sort of 'you're a fucking idiot' look."
"You are a fucking idiot," Jack said pointedly.
Brian shrugged. "OK. So you be the one to give me the 'you're a fucking idoit' look. You pull it off better."
