I suddenly wish I had taken Elliot up on his offer to provide back-up for the coming conversation with my parents. I got here forty-five minutes ago and my brother had already come by to take Mia out for the day. He sent me a text message about half an hour ago complaining that he'd let our sister talk him into taking her shopping. Poor bastard; he'll be there until she drains his bank account because neither of us is particularly skilled at telling her no.

Now I'm sitting on the back deck of my parents' home with the remnants of our lunch on the table while I work up the nerve to talk to them about Elena.

"How's Ana, Christian?" Mom asks, unable to hide how eager she's been to ask that very question since I walked in the door.

Carrick and I exchange brief smirks. "Ana's great," I say honestly. Hesitating before I share the only bit of good news I've had in weeks. "She's moving in with me this week, actually."

"So soon?" Carrick asks, frowning. "You've not known her long. Are you sure that's wise, son?"

"Absolutely," I say firmly. When they look a little skeptical, despite the obvious happiness in my mother's eyes, I go on. "She's it for me. And I'm fairly confident she feels the same about me." I frown as I once again doubt that she could honestly love me as much as she says despite all my bullshit. I clear my throat and look at my parents' expectant expressions. "Her dad is in town this weekend. I'm meeting him tomorrow; Ana and I are taking him to the Mariners game."

Dad is looking at me as though seeing me in a whole new light and Mom's eyes are misty. I'm tempted to once again put off the Elena discussion because they look so pleased and I want them to keep looking at me like that, but it must be done. I simply need to find an opening. One presents itself when Dad brings out a couple beers for us and one of his infamous alcoholic concoctions for Mom.

"I assume you've heard about Elena?" Grace asks, wincing at the burn of her Long Island iced tea. "I couldn't believe it, attacked like that in her own home."

Carrick scoffs. "From what I understand, she brought it on herself," he says with a surprising amount of disdain. "I spoke with Linc last night and he inferred that Elena may have been having an affair with a teenage boy."

My eyes widen at this news and for a brief moment, I wonder if they already know about Elena and me.

"You ought to know better than to believe gossip, Carrick," Grace chides. "Especially coming for Linc. Or have you forgotten how he put her into the hospital seven years ago?"

"No, I haven't forgotten," Carrick replies patiently. "But even back then there were rumors that she'd found herself an underage boy toy." His tone is one of disgust and I quickly drain my beer then contemplate stealing what's left of my mother's drink. Suddenly I need the liquid fortification.

Grace shakes her head. "And if there were any truth to that rumor, or this one, don't you think it would be the talk of the town? The women in this community don't have much else to do than gossip and stick their noses where they don't belong. Besides, Elena isn't capable of that sort of behavior."

I clear my throat before I realize I'm doing it and sit up straighter in my chair as my parents' attention turns towards me. "That wasn't gossip," I say quietly, staring at a spot on the table between us. "Elena has had affairs with much younger men."

Suddenly the tension skyrockets while the temperature drops to near freezing. Or maybe that's just me.

"What are you talking about, Christian?" Carrick asks reluctantly. "How would you know that?"

I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I was the reason Linc put Elena in the hospital the last time," I admit.

Though I'm not looking at either of my parents, I can feel their eyes boring into mine as they undoubtedly wonder whether they heard me correctly and if they even want to ask for elaboration.

"Christian?" Grace whispers anxiously after several moments of shocked silence. "What are you saying?"

Now or never, Grey... "Elena and I... we had an affair for six years before Linc found out about us."

Grace looks as though she's going to be sick while Carrick seems to be waiting for the punch line that simply doesn't exist. "You and Elena?" Grace whispers, horrified. "For six years?"

I nod, unable to look either of them in the eye.

"Six years," Carrick whispers, eyes wide as he stares at me in disbelief. I can hear his mind whirling as he does the math, counting back from Elena's last hospitalization. "But that means you were only fifteen or sixteen."

"No," Grace begs in a whisper, shaking her head slowly as she continues to stare at me.

I shake my head. "Fifteen," I confirm.

Grace lets out a noise that's a mixture of pain and horror. "Christian," she begs, grasping my hand and holding it tightly.

"How?" Carrick croaks, on the verge of anger or tears, I'm not sure which. "How did it start?"

And so I tell them everything about that period of my life. Well, mostly everything. I don't think they need to hear all the gory details. I tell them that it all began shortly after my expulsion from yet another school and how I was doing work for the Lincolns since everyone thought physical labor would be better than letting me just stay in my room and read for however long I was being punished.

"Elena turned me around," I say in a low voice. "She stopped the drinking and the fighting, and just my general asshole behavior." I don't know why I'm trying to justify this. Actually, I do; I see the expressions on their faces and know they're blaming themselves when it really wasn't their fault. "She got me more focused on school and kept me on track. She helped me start my company."

"Don't you dare make excuses for her," my mother hisses, anger and disgust radiating off of her.

"I don't mean to," I say honestly. "But it's true. I could be in prison now, or worse, if not for her."

"You don't know that!" Carrick snaps. "You could have grown out of that phase. You should have come to us, son." He looks as though he's in physical pain and I hate myself for putting him through this.

"And said, what, exactly?" I ask with a bit more bite than I intend. "I was a fifteen-year-old bag of hormones and anger. While every other boy my age could give into their hormones, I couldn't because I was paralyzed with the fear of being touched. Elena gave me an outlet, something to channel all of those feelings into something better than fighting and drinking."

"And you think that justifies her having an affair with a teenage boy?" Grace asks incredulously. "You were a child, Christian! My child, and somebody I cared about and trusted took advantage of you!"

"Ignoring the age factor for the moment," Carrick says quietly, obviously needing the temporary break. "You know right from wrong, Christian. Your mother and I were at least able to teach you that much. Elena was married and you didn't have a problem with that?"

I give him a look. "You were fifteen once, Dad," I say evenly. "Are you telling me that if an older woman came onto you, you'd have turned her down whether she was married or not?"

He sighs, but I think he gets the point. Grace is frowning at us with disapproval but doesn't comment.

"All those things the media was saying about you, what you admitted to us, how Elena was found..." Grace says quietly, . "She brought you into that, didn't she?"

I look at my mother, uncertain what to say.

"Shit," Carrick mutters, his expression hardening. "And we can't even bring her up on charges because the statute of limitations would have run out at least three years ago. Well, I'd say she's getting the least of what she deserves."

"Is it over between you two?" Grace asks, still looking ill. "Or is it still happening?"

"It's over," I assure her. "It's been over for years. Since then we've remained friends and business partners."

"Business partners," Carrick scoffs skeptically. "I always did wonder why you took such an interest in those damned salons. Does Anastasia know about Elena?"

I nod. "She's known for a while," I answer quietly.

"And she's okay with you having Elena in your life?" Grace asks incredulously.

"Well," I say, shifting in my chair. "No, not exactly." My parents are at a loss for words and I decide to keep talking. "I know you both see it as Elena taking advantage of me, abusing me, but I didn't see it that way at the time. Even afterwards I convinced myself that Elena helped me, saved me from myself."

Carrick tilts his head to the side slightly, studying me. "You said at the time," he observes softly, almost hopefully. "You don't feel that way anymore?"

I take a moment to consider my answer, knowing it's the absolute truth. "No," I say quietly. "Not anymore."

"What changed?" Grace whispers.

I smile slightly. "I met Ana," I say simply. "She's made me see things in a different light."

"Were you in love with Elena?" Grace asks tensely as though she doesn't actually want the answer but couldn't help asking the question.

I shrug, feeling surprisingly relaxed. "In my own way, I suppose," I answer carefully. "But what did I know about love and relationships back then? If it was love and I'm definitely not saying it was, it's nothing compared to how I feel about Anastasia."

"We love you, Christian," Grace says bemused. "From the moment we laid eyes on you. How can you say you never knew about love when you had us?" I take a breath to speak, but she shakes her head to keep me quiet. "You never believed you deserved love, did you?"

Did I really think I was relaxing? More than anything right now, I want to run away from this conversation. I've inwardly insisted for years that my family doesn't really know me and if they ever did, if they ever saw the monster within me, I would lose them, and that has never been something worth risking. But here my mother sits proving to me without a shadow of a doubt that she does know me and yet she hasn't run away screaming, and my father hasn't banished me from the family. I'm their son and they won't wash their hands of me because they love me. I'm seeing it all clearly now and feel as though the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders.

"I'm sorry," I tell my parents, uncertain what else there is to say. "For everything, I'm sorry."

Grace takes my hand, squeezing it almost to the point of pain. "You have nothing to apologize for," she insists firmly. "I only wish we'd known before now when we could have done something about it."

"It's Elena who should be sorry," Carrick chips in coldly and I suddenly see where I've gotten some of my traits. "In a community like ours, all it takes are a few whispered words in the right ears and she'll never recover from that."

I almost want to laugh, though whether in relief, shock, or the vindictive glints in my parents' eyes, I'm not certain.

"This attack on her," Grace says suddenly. "You had nothing to do with that."

It's not a question and I know she doesn't actually believe I did have something to do with it, but I answer anyway. "No," I say firmly, shaking my head for emphasis. "Definitely not. But I suspect I'm part of the reason she was attacked. I rather recently learned I wasn't the first boy to have her claws dug into me. We believe the same person and his brother, whom I fired a while back, are also responsible for the breach in my private life."

"Well, if she wasn't lying in a hospital bed unconscious already, she would be once I finished with her," my mother says darkly.

Again, I don't know how to respond, so I don't.

"Son, is there anything else you need to tell us?" Carrick asks after several minutes of each of us being lost in our thoughts. "If there is, do it now because I don't know how many more of these conversations we can handle."

I smile faintly. "That's it," I answer. "No more skeletons in my closet."

My parents let out identical sighs of relief in perfect unison. "Good," Grace says resolutely, releasing my hand as she stands. "I think I need a stronger drink." With that, she picks up her glass and disappears into the house.

I turn to find my dad looking at me thoughtfully, which is a hell of a lot better than the disdain I expected to see. "What?" I ask uneasily.

"Ana really has had some effect on you, hasn't she?" he asks quietly. "I don't think you've ever opened up to us like this before."

I nod. "She's had a hell of an effect on me," I agree. "I never thought I'd have someone like her or even that I wanted it in my life."

Carrick nods back. "Well, you'd better do everything in your power to hold onto her, then. I like this new you."

I smirk. "Yeah, me, too." It's the first time I've admitted it out loud and it feels great to have it out there in the world.

When my mother returns to the table, she's carrying a wine bottle and three glasses. Neither my father nor I do more than raise an eyebrow as she fills each glass and drains hers before we can even take a sip. After a few silent minutes, she nods decisively. "So, tell us about Ana's father..."


A few hours later I return home to find Ana out on the balcony asleep in a chair with an open book resting on her chest. It's so reminiscent of the day I rushed home from work after she'd overheard Elena and me talking that I have to physically fight the urge to panic which I do my pressing my fingernails into my palms nearly to the point of pain.

It only takes a minute to remind myself how different the two scenarios are. Back then, we were still uncertain about one another and whether we'd actually work out. Now, we've admitted that we love each other and I just told my parents she is moving in with me. She is much more mine today than that day and assuming Ray Steele doesn't kill me on the spot tomorrow, she'll be mine forever. With that thought firmly in mind, I sit in the chair beside her and gently remove the book from her chest and place it on the table between us, hoping to let her sleep a little longer since it's my fault she didn't sleep much last night. Just as I'm considering a repeat performance, Ana shifts and I know she's waking up.

I watch eagerly for that little smile she always gives me first thing in the morning. She does when her eyes open and I return my own idiotic grin.

"You survived, I see," she says, curling up in her chair and turning to face me.

I snort a laugh. "Barely," I grumble mostly playfully. "Though once we had a few drinks everything seemed to smooth out."

She smiles, but continues to watch me expectantly.

I sigh, reaching across for her hand and squeeze her fingers. "It went much better than I thought it would," I admit, running my thumb across her knuckles. I'm not quite sure which of us is enjoying the sensation more. "I always believed that if my family found out about what I did and especially about my relationship with Elena that would be the end. But I don't think that's the case."

She frowns, slipping off her chair and onto my lap. I immediately tuck her in my arms, holding her fast. "I told you it wouldn't be," she reminds me.

"Yes, you did," I whisper in her hair. "I'm glad you were right."

"How do you feel now?"

I rest my chin on her head and think before answering. "Better." I answer. "I've spent so long worried about them finding out and I never realized how worried I was about it. I'm sure there will still be issues once they've had time to really think and reflect on everything, and my mother isn't particularly happy."

"Can you blame her?" she asks bluntly.

My lips twitch. "No, I suppose not," I whisper. "I'm finally seeing the truth in the people in my life. I've been so terrified of letting anybody see me for what I am that I've just isolated myself from them. I wanted to protect them from me. My parents, my brother and sister... you. I didn't want to taint their goodness with what I am."

Ana turns in my lap and takes my face in her hands. "What you are, Christian Grey, is a wonderful, kind, brilliant man who was dealt a shit hand and turned it all around. And I'm not only referring to your company; I've seen how big your heart is, how you give as much as you get.

"And what you did today, telling your parents something you know would upset them, something that could have broken them... It took balls, Christian. But you did it and I'm proud of you."

At first I feel amusement at her choice of words, but once they sink in and I see the utter sincerity, all I feel is love for her. "You're proud of me?" I whisper uncertainly.

She nods, biting her lip.

I feel my shy smile, the one reserved solely for her, growing on my lips as I release hers from her teeth. "You're pretty damned remarkable yourself, Miss Steele," I murmur, pulling her closer until we're kissing leisurely. It's somehow different than any other kiss we've shared. I realize suddenly it's because despite our words and actions, I've been kissing her as though there would never be a next time. Now I know, and feel, that we have the rest of our lives.

As Ana pulls away from my mouth to catch her breath, an idea occurs to me, one that's nearly as frightening as admitting that I love her had been. Is she even ready for that? Am I? We've talked about the future in general terms, but she's so young. Her career is only beginning. I don't even know whether she wants to continue working at GEH or if she really was more cut out for the publishing world. Of course, whatever she decides, I'll support her. I want to make her happy, to make her dreams come true.

"What's the matter?" she whispers concernedly at my sudden change of mood.

I smile, gently pushing her hair back from her face. "Nothing, baby," I answer. "Everything is perfect."

And that's about all the talking I can stand right now. I need her, I need to be as close to her as humanly possible, and we have the whole night to figure out just how close that is.


Today my goal is to show Ray Steele that I'm the man for his daughter. At first I thought my skybox seats and Seattle Mariners season tickets would be a good start followed by a fancy dinner where I could wow him with all the things I could provide for Anastasia would be more than enough. But then I reminded myself that this isn't a business deal and the man I need to impress lives a much simpler life than I do. So apart from the baseball tickets, the rest of my plan for the day has been completely overhauled. After the game, we'll take Ray out for a decent steak dinner where he can order a brand of beer he actually recognizes and I'll just have to use all of my natural charm to get him to accept me.

I considered telling the security team to take the day off, but it's too much of a risk after Elena was attacked. Taylor and Sawyer have been instructed to keep their distance and out of sight unless they detect we're in danger. Around lunchtime, Ana and I take my least flashy car to meet Ray outside Safeco Field. Ana drags me through the crowd until she spots her dad and drops my hand to hug him hello. I stand back just enough to give them a moment, but Ray finds me almost immediately.

I used to wonder how it was possible that Ana had never dated before meeting me, but I get it now; any teenage boy receiving a glare that makes him feel as though all his deepest, darkest thoughts are on display would have him standing in a puddle of his own making. I'm no teenage boy, but the longer I'm scrutinized, the more nervous I'm becoming.

Maybe Ana senses that because she turns back towards me, pulling her father along with her.

"Daddy, this is my boyfriend, Christian Grey," she announces shyly. "Christian, my dad, Raymond Steele."

I grin as much at her calling me her boyfriend as I do at trying to seem open and friendly. "Mr. Steele, it's a pleasure to finally meet you," I say, shaking his hand firmly.

"Mr. Grey, likewise," he says evenly. Ana is looking between us uncertainly. "Annie's told me quite a bit about you."

I glance at Ana as she bites her lip in a nervous gesture. "All good, I hope," I murmur. "And please, call me Christian."

Ray sizes me up a bit more before Ana nervously clears her throat. "Shall we?" she says brightly.

I smile down at her, trying to reassure her that this day will go well, even if I'm still uncertain about it myself. "Of course," I say, offering her my arm which she takes gladly and immediately, and guide her and Ray to the gates where we're led to the skybox by an overeager young man who trips over himself half a dozen times because he keeps staring at Ana's legs. I glance over and find that Ray has a scowl of disapproval on his face that probably matches mine perfectly. Not that I can blame him for staring; my girl is dressed in a t-shirt that is just this side of appropriate that shows off her curves perfectly and a pair of jean shorts that nearly had me ripping off her clothes before leaving the apartment. Still, I'm relieved we won't be surrounded by drunken idiots trying to make passes at her all throughout the game. Somehow I don't think bailing me out of jail will win me any favors with Ray Steele.

"Hell of a view up here," Ray comments as he stares out the large glass window in the box. "Not sure I've ever seen this much of the field all at once."

I smirk to myself. Maybe impressing Ana's dad won't be the challenge I believed it to be. Ana rolls her eyes, smiling as she sits in one of the leather chairs in front of the window. Televisions mounted on the walls show the pre-game warm-up and interviews with the players. Rather than waiting in the ridiculously long lines at the concession stands, I made sure the skybox was full of drinks, including Ray's brand of beer, and with one call we can have food delivered.

"Not a bad deal," Ray comments, impressed. Ana throws me a smile and a wink as she sits between Ray and me. I return her smile and instinctively put an arm around her shoulders, which immediately calms my nerves.

While we wait for the game to begin, Ray asks me questions about myself and my family, and I feel as though I'm in some sort of job interview, not that I've had any experience with such things. Nevertheless, I quickly realize Anastasia is the prize for succeeding in this interview and I intend to win. Over the traditional baseball lunch of foot-long hotdogs and nachos, the topic of conversation transitions to fishing and it seems Ray and I have found another common interest, the first, of course, being the beautiful girl sitting between us who excuses herself at the beginning of the second inning for a bathroom break. A lifelong habit of manners has me on my feet and helping her to hers, only sitting again when she disappears from view. I then realize Ray and I are alone for the first time and he's watching me thoughtfully.

"Not many young have your manners these days," he observes.

I smile. "My parents ensured proper manners were ingrained in us from an early age," I inform him. "My brother had more trouble with them than I did which often led to our mother giving him her patented glare that could bring the most hardened criminal to his knees." Though really, the reason I covet my manners is because they always helped to disguise the monster within me and keep those around me from seeing it, but I don't think Ray needs to hear that.

He chuckles somewhat reluctantly and with Ana gone, I think I know he's not going to waste the time discussing my upbringing. "You know, I wasn't too sure about you when Annie first told me she was seeing someone. To be honest, and no offense meant, I had no idea who you were."

Somehow that doesn't surprise me, I think, smirking. "No offense taken," I reply honestly.

Ray goes on. "But once I learned your name, I started to see it everywhere, and none of it was exactly flattering."

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. Though I expected this to come up, I still don't quite know what to say.

"I was concerned Annie was in over her head with something she never should have gotten involved with. Of course, I questioned her about it, but she insisted over and over you were nothing like what people were saying. And I've learned to trust that girl's judgment for the most part even though I know she can be naïve about a lot of things. But she also told me everything you did when that sorry piece of trash Benjamin Reese came after her again.

"Now, I don't often pass judgment on people before meeting them and I tried keeping an open mind about you, but I can't help being concerned about my daughter's well-being."

I sense a hint of threat in his tone and I can't even say I blame him. "Well, perhaps I can give you some peace of mind," I say evenly. "I'll be the first to admit that Anastasia and I have only known each other a short while, but in that limited time, she has changed my life significantly and very much for the better. I care for her a great deal—I love her, Mr. Steele—and that isn't something I've had much experience with. All I want is her happiness and her safety.

"I'll admit there is a hell of a learning curve for me when it comes to her and I've made a lot of mistakes, but she has been at my side during one of the most trying times of my life and I can't even begin to explain what her support has meant to me. I won't insult your intelligence by saying the things you've heard about me aren't true—they are. But all of that is now in the past. Ana has in no way been a part of that life." I don't see reason to tell him about Ana's newfound interest of occasionally being restrained during sex. That's nobody's business but Ana's and mine, and I'd rather not be thrown out of my skybox via the window overlooking the field. "I will never harm her. The thought of seeing her hurt in any way makes me sick.

"You mentioned Reese. It was partly my fault he was able to get close enough to her to nearly strangle her to death. My security team made a mistake when my building was being evacuated. Since then, I've been rather overprotective of her. I'll do anything to prevent something like that ever happening again."

Again, Ray studies me as he considers everything I've said. The longer the silence stretches, though, the more uneasy I feel. Is he about to tell me he doesn't want his daughter with a man like me? Ana's opinion is the only one that truly matters to me, but I have a feeling her father's opinion will go a long way in shaping our future together.

Finally he nods in what I think is acceptance. "All right, then," he says, turning back to the game. "Just know that if you do hurt her, it's not going to be me coming after you; it'll be her. And I made it a point to teach that girl how to defend herself."

I laugh in both amusement of his words and relief that I've got the green light to build a future with his daughter. "I'll keep that in mind, Mr. Steele."

He frowns briefly. "And enough of the 'Mr. Steele' bull, Christian; it's Ray."

When Ana finally returns, Ray and I are much more at ease with one another than we were before and in deep discussion about the Mariners' chances of making it to the playoffs this season. After seeing how badly this game is going for our team, we sadly conclude this probably isn't our year. By the end, I'm certain Elliot is relieved to not have wasted his afternoon watching the team struggle to keep their heads above water and I'm grateful he's not here; by now he'd be drunk and sulking.

Outside the stadium, surrounded by disappointed fans, Taylor is waiting for us with the SUV. Since we've been drinking, I thought it wise that somebody else drives.

Over steak dinners and more beer to drown our baseball sorrows, Ray regales us with stories of Ana as a child and her clumsiness. The girl herself is sulking beside me and trying to sink down below the table with embarrassment, but I consider this payback for her listening to whatever Mia was telling her that day on The Grace. Besides it's giving me more insight in the girl I want to know everything about.

As we wait for the dessert I watched Ana drooling over as a waiter carried it past our table, my phone rings for what is, shockingly, the first time today and I'm forced to remove the arm that has been resting around Ana's shoulders for most of the day to look at the caller ID, cursing to myself when I see Ros's number.

"I apologize," I say, sliding out of my seat, "but I have to take this."

Stepping outside for privacy, I take the call and listen with growing annoyance and dread as Ros tells me I'm needed in New York by tomorrow morning. Typically, I wouldn't think twice about flying out to solve whatever problem has presented itself, but with everything going on here—particularly after Elena's attack—the last thing I want is to leave Ana on her own. Unfortunately I know I won't convince her to come along with me and she'll only roll her eyes and protest if she finds out I'm ignoring work because of her. At the end of the argument that will surely erupt, she'll be irritated and I'll leave for New York pissed off. It's simply not worth the fallout so I tell Ros I'll be on the jet later tonight.

"Everything all right?" Ana asks concernedly when I return to the table.

I sigh. "Yes, but unfortunately I need to fly out to New York tonight. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone."

"Oh," Ana says, disappointed. I'm tempted to lean over and kiss the slight pout on her lips, but I'm acutely aware that her stepfather is watching our interactions closely even if he's pretending to study a piece of the large triple chocolate cake we decided to split.

"But that isn't until later. Right now my only concern is this cake."


A few hours later, I'm gathering my things for New York while Ana watches from her spot on our bed. Every time I emerge from the closet and see her wearing only a tank top and a pair of my underwear, I'm tempted to say fuck New York so I can bury myself in her for as long as she'll allow me. The look in her eyes as I move around the room with only a towel around my waist following our shower suggests she wouldn't protest in the slightest.

"Are you sure you won't come with me?" I murmur against her lips after crawling up the bed and urging her to lie back. My lips find her neck then her ear, and finally that little spot behind her ear that never fails to make her melt. When her hands slip beneath my towel and squeeze my ass, I moan and press my hips into hers, making her groan.

"I'm sure," she whispers, sounding anything but.

I grin against her skin and glance at the alarm clock, estimating that we have just enough time to indulge in one another one more time before I need to leave, so I make quick work of undressing her while she practically rips of my towel. I sigh in utter contentment as I sink into her and we quickly lose ourselves again, and I realize nothing in the world matters to me beyond this woman. My business empire could shatter at my feet; I could lose every cent to my name; I could be homeless and destitute, and it wouldn't matter so long as I have Ana at my side.