Author's Note: I haven't got much to say, actually. Just enjoy this the read!

Dedication: To Marauder At Heart 333.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Twenty-Eight: Just Breathe*

It sure took a while, but after spending three days in his deserted (and rather smelly) cabin in the middle of the jungle, Sirius had finally come up with a plan. A bold plan, reckless even, but in the end, this was the only way it could work out for everyone. He was still able to go back to England on his own in a few days, but eventually, Mary and the kids could join him there. And she could protest all she wanted, but according to Sirius, Oliver should have the opportunity to play in a country where Quidditch was actually the number one sport for wizards instead of football, which apparently was the only sport that really mattered in Brazil. And Erin should be able to get a better education, wander around the corridors of Hogwarts at night and share a dormitory with her friends.

Sirius was feeling pretty good about this plan, although he reckoned it would still take a lot to convince Mary, and he would need the help of Dumbledore and Roberto to make it work. He thought it best to discuss the details with these men first before breaking the news to Mary. So on a quiet Monday night, he transformed into Padfoot and quietly trotted over to Roberto's office, using his nose to make sure that neither Mary nor his children were anywhere near the main house. He changed back to his human self once he was standing in front of the door and knocked.

"Come in," came the low and serious voice belonging to Roberto. "Ah Sirius, back from your camping trip, I see."

"Did Mary...?" Sirius asked while making his way over to the desk.

"She explained one or two things about you some needing time off, yes. Mind you, Sirius, normally I do not appreciate people leaving without telling me beforehand. However, considering the circumstances..."

He sat down in the nearest arm chair. "She mentioned that as well, huh?"

The other man nodded gravely. "Indeed. An unfortunate chain of events. We were wrong to assume the other already informed you and for that, I apologize."

Sirius frowned, cocking his head to the right, and wondered how someone could apologize so solemnly while making it seem that they weren't meaning a word. He now understood what Mary meant when she warned him that Roberto had lost his sense of humour around the time World War II started. It almost made him long for Dumbledore's puzzling clues and riddles. Sirius chuckled in himself before realizing Roberto was still waiting for an answer. "Yes. Well, what's done is done."

"I'm glad you're taking this so lightly."

"I'm not. But you can make it up to me."

The older man frowned. "I'm sorry?"

He realized that, when informing Roberto about Sirius's unexpected absence, Mary had left out the reason for this temporary leave. "Listen, I'm sure you've heard about the mysterious things happening lately in England. I am still Harry Potter's godfather, and things are not looking good. His scar is hurting again as well... Either way, I strongly feel I must be around to protect him. That's why I'm heading back to England soon. But I will need your help for that."

Roberto's frown was increasing by the second. "I don't understand. You wish to return to the place where you're the most wanted escaped convict of the moment?"

He nodded. "I realize it'll be dangerous at first, but like I said, I have a plan, and if you and Dumble-"

"-Does Mary know about this?" Roberto interrupted sharply.

"We've discussed it. She's er... not pleased that I'm going back, but she doesn't get where I'm coming from. But once she hears what I have in mind, I'm sure she'll agree after all."

"With what, exactly?"

Sirius sat up a little straighter. "My old parents house in London, which is completely hidden from view. Muggles aren't able to see it and I'm sure the rest of my rotten family has forgotten about the place altogether."

"And this house belongs to you now?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "I'm still a Black, the house passed on to me when my mother passed away. Now, that old bat has been dead for years, so the place will look quite dilapidated by now. But after we've cleaned it up, we might even use it as a place for Order members to meet in secret one day. In other words, I think this could really work, don't you?"

Roberto looked sceptical. "Maybe, but how can you be sure that none of your relatives, who – I presume – are not fond of you, will find out what is going on?"

"They won't. We won't have to worry about any uninvited guests from the Ministry, because one has to be personally invited by a Black to even see the house. And to make sure my remaining relatives will never get inside as well, I was thinking of using the Fidelius Charm. And let Dumbledore become the Secret Keeper this time. To be honest, I think we will be safer there than we are here in Brazil."

"Don't be so sure about that," the old man smiled briefly before becoming serious once again. "But what about Mary and your children?"

This part was exciting him most of all. "Grimmauld Place has a fireplace, so they can safely travel towards London by Floo Network if they wish. But... This is why I came to ask for your help. I would be eternally grateful if I could come around once more to get them here in person."

It took Roberto less than a second to turn down his request. "That is out of the question."

"But can't you-"

"No Sirius, I cannot. You are free to leave this ranch if you must, but that decision will be irreversible."

"It doesn't have to be. You could make an exception, like you did for Dumbledore."

"But I won't."

"Don't you trust me?"

"It is not a matter of trust, Sirius. I do not make exceptions, period." Seeing the frown on Sirius's face, he continued more kindly: "Albus and I go back a long way. If it weren't for him, I would not be the man I am today. But that is not what this is about. I have the responsibility over every member on this ranch. People who can never go home and will face life threatening dangers if their hiding place is discovered. Borboleta is no prison, but if you decide to leave, you will never see this place or its people again."

Sirius rubbed his temples, thinking hard. This was not according to plan. But would it really matter in the end? Was he going to risk everything he had achieved here in the past weeks? Yes, he was. Harry was the one in real danger now. He knew what he had to do. He had no choice. "So be it."

Roberto studied his face. "I cannot help noticing those words were said a lot more forcefully than you're feeling on the inside."

"Well, do you think this is an easy decision?" He cried out, annoyed with his calm expression. "It is not!"

"What about Mary?" Roberto absent-mindedly played with the feather of his quill for a moment before he sighed and looked up. "You know, I have known her for a long time, but only lately have I seen her true personality. Sure, I've seen her happy with Fabio, but she seems so much more alive since you came around, more carefree, if you will. Younger too, I suppose. If you abandon her now, it will break her for good. And I'm not even talking about what this might do to Erin and Oliver."

Sirius groaned. He really did not need another person telling him that going back home now could possibly destroy his family. "I know that," he said heavily before adding more hopefully: "But it's only temporary, we won't be apart forever. They can all travel to London as soon as Dumbledore secured the safety of Grimmauld Place with the Fidelius Charm. And then Erin and Oliver can both go to Hogwarts!"

"If you're still a free man by then."

He couldn't help but smirk at Roberto's ignorance. "Trust me, Roberto, I have my ways of staying incognito where I need to be."

Roberto looked intrigued, but Sirius chose not to elaborate. If he wasn't getting any help from him, Sirius would be dammed before sharing the secret that he was an unregistered Animagus. Instead, he got to his feet and held out his hand. "I would like to thank you for everything that you did for me and my family, but I have made up my mind. I'm leaving the day after tomorrow."

Roberto nodded slowly before shaking it. "I am sorry to hear that, but will respect your wishes nonetheless. Would you like me to contact Albus for you?"

"No, I will write him myself, as soon as possible."

That was step one, Sirius thought to himself as he walked out of the main house into the cool darkness of the night. Step two and three, informing first Mary and then the children, would be another challenge. But no matter how that played out, he already felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Because even though Roberto had been unwilling to grant him access to the ranch after he had left Brazil, their leader did not seem to think his idea to use Grimmauld Place was all that ludicrous. And that was a promising thought. Sirius could only hope that Mary would be just as reasonable.


Sirius spent the next morning with Sayid and Jonathan, fixing broken fences in the western grasslands. A sweltering heat lay over the land and once the men had finished their task by noon, they were all sweating profusely. Sirius drank the entire content of his water bottle in one go before he cast the remaining drops over his face and excused himself, saying he was going to find Mary. She, Jonathan told him, had covered the last nightshift in the hospital and was now probably hanging out bythe stables.

Jonathan knew Mary well. When Sirius had almost arrived at the barn, he spotted her in the nearest meadow. She was bareback on Augusto and guided another (younger) greyish horse towards the stables. Mary was trying to halter the animal, but the youngster apparently had other plans and jumped back playfully. After another few attempts, Mary swore loudly, although Sirius could see she was just amused.

"Need any help with that?"

She turned around at the sound of his voice, still smiling, but when she saw it was him, her smile faded quickly. "No thank you, I'm fine." She dismounted her own horse and stepped towards the grey horse to halter it, who, now its master was on the ground, gave in immediately and followed Mary obediently. "What are you doing here?" she asked when she reached the gate and Sirius opened it for her. "Does this mean you've made up your mind?"

He thought it was best to be honest and be as straightforward as possible. "Yes."

She glanced at him around the horse's head, whose ears were still moving back- and forwards in a playful manner. "And?"

"I'm leaving."

He braced himself, expecting her to explode at any second, but to his surprise, she remained remarkably calm, yet distant and almost businesslike. "I see. Did you inform Roberto about this?"

"Yes, things are all set up for the day after tomorrow."

"Hmm."

And then, without another word, she tucked on the grey horse's halter and started walking towards the stables, leaving Augusto behind in the meadow, who whinnied after his boss. The pace looked so calm and controlled, but once he started following them, Sirius had to hurry to be able to catch up. "Wait. Aren't you mad?"

"Mad?" she asked rather coolly while guiding the horse through the elongated corridor to a stall named "Georgiana" near the back. "Sirius, I'm past being mad with you." She untied her rope from the halter before turning towards him and, noticing his stumped expression, said: "What, you think I did not expect this? I knew all along you weren't going to change your mind. So no, I'm not mad. It just makes me despise you."

The grey horse lowered his head and curiously snuffled the pocket of Mary's jeans, no doubt looking for a sweet of some kind. She got out her wand, conjured two small carrots and gave them to the mare. Sirius watched the horse's chewing jaws because he could not bear looking into Mary's cold eyes. "I... I'm really sorry-"

"-And I don't even despise you that much because of me. I got over you once, I can do it again. I'll be a bitter sour woman thinking men are the scum of the earth, but I'll manage. But Oliver? And Erin? I cannot imagine what it must feel like if your father chooses a complete stranger over you. So no, they will not be fine. And that is on you."

"It doesn't have to be like that."

"No? You're leaving the day after tomorrow, that really gives them a lot of time to adjust to the idea their dad's about to abandon them."

"I'm not abandoning them!"

Mary's next look was so disdainful that Sirius felt the need to stop her right there, before she would storm off again like the last time. He tried to embrace her, but before he could have gotten a good grip and realized what was happening, she was slapping him hard in the face. "Don't touch me!"

The young horse jerked up her head in agitation, whinnying anxiously, and Mary quickly reached out to console her. "Calm down, Georgie, you're alright now," she said, gently patting the mare's manes.

Meanwhile, Sirius had made sure he was standing in the doorway of the box, so that Mary would have some difficulty getting past him if she tried to run. He hated blocking the way like this, but she had to be around for what he had to say. "Just listen."

"I don't have to do anything," she glared.

He silently counted from one to ten in an attempt to remain calm. "Please listen to what I have to say. Remember I told you I would come up with a solution? Well, I have!"

She arched an eyebrow. "Roberto granted you permission to come back here whenever you want?"

"Sadly, no. I tried, but the stubborn prat refuses to make an exception."

"Roberto has every right-"

"-I know, would you just listen, woman!" He exhaled, forcing himself to take another deep breath before speaking again. "Sorry. I just... Let me explain. I go back to England, help Harry out whenever I can and in the meantime, I'm going to fix us a decent place to live."

"How in Merlin's name are you going to arrange that? You're the public's enemy no. 1."

"Don't have to, I already own the place. Mary, I'm not making any of this up. We could stay at Grimmauld Place."

Mary blinked. "Grimmauld...- where your mother lives?!"

"Lived. The old bat died while I was in Azkaban, thank Merlin for that. But since I'm the last Black alive, the house now belongs to me."

"I thought you hated that place."

"I do, because every memory I have of it is a bad one, but it will be different when we will be living there. We can replace it with new memories!" Reading the stunned look on her face, he continued quickly: "Think about it, Mare. We can go home together and still be safe. Grimmauld Place is invisible to Muggle eyes and I'm letting Dumbledore cast the Fidelius Charm as well, just to be sure. He can be our Secret-Keeper. I've learnt my lesson last time... Anyway, this way Erin and Oliver are able to go to Hogwarts after all, and Harry could leave the Dursleys and come live with us-"

"You've got it all worked out, haven't you?" Mary interrupted quietly, peering at with an unreadable look in her eyes.

"Er... Yes. At least, I believe this might actually work out."

"Right. And what am I supposed to do? Drop everything I have here and follow you home because it might be the solution?"

"No." Sirius had missed the sarcasm in her voice. "I don't want you to come right now. It is too dangerous and I can't afford to be distracted. But, after a few months, once I've moved into Grimmauld Place and know it's a safe haven, I do hope you guys will join me."

Mary hmm-ed moodily while caressing the horse's manes. She seemed lost in thought and after a a few minutes of silence, Sirius carefully reached out to nudge her. "Mare?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you think?"

"I'm thinking this all sounds wonderful, but you seem to have forgotten one tiny little detail."

Sirius once again missed the sarcastic note and raised his eyebrows in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"That no matter how you look at it, you are still choosing your godson over your own children."

"That's unfair. I am taking care of both of them. This way, I can have it all!"

She seemed sad now after all, but he could also detect a note of pity in her eyes. "You can never have it all, Sirius. And you have chosen."

He shot an exasperated look at the sky. "But can you at least tell me you'll consider living in London with me eventually? Mind you, you could visit your parents again, see your sister..."

"My parents and Jenna think I am dead. And I don't know yet. You'll have to give me time."

"But I'm leaving in two days!"

"Well," Mary replied with the hint of a smirk on her lips as she stepped forward to get out of the stall, "you're just going to have to deal with that inconvenient detail, won't you?"

Sirius was forced to step back so she could close the box. "Besides, you'll need the rest of the day to prepare yourself."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Mary was acting as aloof as ever. "It means you're going to have think of a way to tell Erin and Oliver you're leaving them again."

He swallowed. "I... I was hoping we could break the news to them together."

She shook her head. "Oh, I'll be around, but I'm not going to say a word. You are entirely on your own for that."

********** End of Update **********

* Song from the title: Just Breathe by Pearl Jam