Epilogue – Eight years later

Amber St. Claire pushed her lap top away with a sigh, "Finally…I cannot believe that article was so hard to write; at least they'll be happy about it. One of my best if I do say so myself, I just hope they get the photo spread right this time." She said aloud. Amber just finished the article for Vogue Magazine that covered a New York Fashion show featuring the latest hot shot designer. Amber was picked personally by the designer for an exclusive interview. The young girl told her she picked Amber because she loved her past articles for the magazine. The twenty six year old was very flattered and impressed with the twenty one year old fashion genius. Amber even came out of the interview with two one of a kind dresses.

The young lady stood up as the phone rang; she had changed over the past eight years as expected. She no longer wore the Goth look she liked when in high school and changed the look after her first year in college. She was still very fashion conscience, of course in her job she had to be, and still dressed in the latest fashions. Her hair was black hair was shorter and she wore it in the newest style about two inches past her shoulders. Those who knew the girl in high school would have seen a very pretty young girl that grew into a truly breathtaking and lovely young lady. Unknown to her, some of the top super models were envious of her natural beauty, grace, and charm. The few nice ones told her if she was taller she could be on the run way with them while the others would just snarl at her and in their jealousy of her natural beauty and make fun of her stature, of course out of her hearing range since Amber had the power in her writing to make or break a model new to the scene, not that she would ever use her power that way. Hell, some even tried their hardest to seduce the fashion writer over the years. But Amber still kept her caring and kind personality over the years. She used her power of one of the worlds top fashion writers only to get the latest fashions for free and not to ruin a career, although sometimes she wrote the truth and it ended a new designer's dreams. She felt getting free designer clothes was the least of her perks she could use to her benefit. Even through older and more mature, Amber still always looked her best when she left the house, some habits were hard to break. But this late morning she was still wearing her pink pajama bottoms and a long light blue tee shirt with UCLA across the front, the word volleyball below the college logo, and the number 7 on the back. She was not planning on going out until later this evening. The pajama bottoms were faded and frayed around the hem and holes had been patched or sewn closed. They were old but she could not part with them or the shirt due to the meaning they both held for her.

Amber answered the phone after the third ring and smiled when she saw the caller ID, "Hey, baby, how goes your day?...uh huh….I just finished it…uh huh…Well you are not working late tonight and that is final." She stomped her small bare foot. "No…Patrick and his wonderful wife will be here tonight…as a matter of fact their plane arrives at four forty five….No they are taking a cab…No that was not sarcasm…I do like my sister in law, I really do, I was just teasing. You know I love her a great deal and just adore my wonderful nephew." Amber said with a giggle, "Speaking of which we still have to get him another present for Christmas...I don't care if we already got him some I want to get him another one. Uh huh…I am not spoiling him…am not…am not and what if I was? I am the cool aunt remember? One more and that is it…yeah I promise. I was thinking of that one we saw at…yeah that one… I like that too…his mom will hate it since it makes all that noise." The young lady again gave a mischievous giggle. "Our party is tomorrow night and I think everyone is coming. Let's see…Jason is coming and Freddie's plane gets in tomorrow morning…umm…Mr. and Mrs. Isuel will be there. Oh…your mom called and she is going to make it…cool huh? Yeah I knew you would like that one. She sounded better…. Yeah he was a good guy and I was sorry to hear he died. Let's see…people from our work…yes I know just a few…gesh, I plan this every year, I think I know who to invite and by the way I am not inviting any models for you to ogle and drool over all night long…awww that's sweet…a lie but sweet." Amber rolled her eyes, "Umm…no of course I did not role my eyes…uh huh…ok…umm just going to finish the tree…I did but I have my special ones to put on and the angel and I am done…yes I am putting that one on and it is not tacky!...No I can do the angel myself…yes I can…I can do it myself. Can too…can too…I am!" Amber stamped her foot again. "Ok…ok…I will not do it myself, I'll wait until you get home…God I am not going to fall off the ladder…I am not a klutz…am not…I am not…ok, ok…I'll wait. Love you too, sweetie and remember no working late, our reservations for dinner are at seven thirty…no you will not meet us there, we are going as a family and together and you are coming home to change first. Yes you are; I picked out your clothes already…you are…yes…are too, I have better fashion sense than you that's why." The young woman rolled her eyes again, "Yes, baby I got some snacks for Sean…of course I know what a three year old likes to snack on…no I did not get any weird health food for him like last time...uh huh…Arrrghh…that was not what made him sick…yes I did get him some normal cookies. Hey, don't you have to get back to work, for an important person there you sure have a lot of free time to harass your wonderful, charming, lovely wife…uh huh…I love you to…have a great day…bye baby…and no working late, be home at six! No not six thirty…six…if you get home at six I promise you a night to remember when we get home after dinner…yup…ummm…that sounds like fun…deal…maybe you should sneak home for lunch and we can practice it. Ohhh…you are such a tease…ok bye and love you." Amber beamed a smile when she hung up the phone. She loved being married.

The young woman made her way to the family room of their three bedroom apartment located in Upper Manhattan. They paid a great deal for it, but hell they both made very high income and could afford it. Amber loved the apartment, it was stylish, had hard wood floors, a loft area, a nice kitchen, large closets for her clothes and shoes…she needed that…and very spacious to entertain in. As she walked to the family room to finish decorating the Christmas tree, she paused by a full length mirror and looked at her profile. Amber smiled when she looked at her stomach, it was getting bigger and she liked that. Amber loved being pregnant…for the most part. It not only gave her skin a healthy glow and made her breasts larger; she just loved it in general. She was six months pregnant with their first child and Amber adored the thought of being a mother. She giggled happily and danced her way into the family room doing perfect pirouette when she twirled. She was a very happy young lady. She was married and had a spouse she adored and who adored her back, a child on the way, a wonderful dream job, and a wonderful family which not only included her brother and sister in law and nephew, but people while not related by blood were just as close. True there were people missing she wished were still alive, but she was happy. She pulled a plastic container from under the coffee table and placed it on top of the hand carved wood. This was her ritual every year, one she did alone. She started it when she was fourteen when given the first one as a gift. Of course then it was not her own tree like now. The number of the ornaments grew as the years went by. The ritual started with just one and now there were six of them.

Amber sat down and opened the plastic container that held her "special" ornaments. She placed these on the tree last every year, some people thought were tacky or did not go with the theme of her other decorations, but to her they were the most important ones and held so much meaning to her. Each ornament represented her family, best friends or special people in her past and present. The young woman pulled out the first one from the container. She smiled at the ornament; it was a mixture of a happy smile and a sad smile. The Christmas tree ornament was very basic and the oldest Amber had; it was a very simple ornament Ran made for her when they were fourteen and well…it looked like it was made by a fourteen year old girl with no talent for arts and crafts. It was shaped like a gingerbread man and in the center was a picture of Amber's parents and her and her brother. It was a family Christmas photo taken the Christmas before her parents died. Amber looked at her mother and thought how beautiful the woman was. She had been told over and over she looked just like her mother, but she felt there was not a chance. Her mother was an absolute beautiful lady. Hell no wonder I had so many friends who were boys growing up, they just wanted to come and see my mom, she thought with a grin. She then looked at her dad and smiled at how so much her brother looked her father. She placed the ornament on the tree and pulled out the next one.

She had no particular order to put them on the tree except the first one and then the last two. That was part of her ritual. She smiled at the next one. It was a Los Angeles Dodger ornament that looked like a baseball. It represented Freddie Benson.

Freddie went to Texas A.M on a baseball scholarship and then was drafted by the Dodgers. He played two years in the major league until he hurt his knee. He was now an assistant coach for the Longhorns baseball team and married to a wonderful young lady. Amber placed it on the tree and pulled the next one from her container. It was a football shaped one with Jason's name on it.

Jason went to UCLA on a football scholarship and was drafted in the NFL as the third pick of the draft by the Oakland Raiders. He played three seasons as their backup quarterback and one as their starting QB, but gave it up when his dad died of a heart attack, stating football was his dad's dream not his. Jason was now a successful sports caster for ESPN specializing in college football. He lives in New York and Amber saw him often. Jason never did get married…yet…as much as Amber tried to marry him off…but had dated some of the models Amber introduced him too. He still carried a love for someone he could never have and Amber thought that very sad. She placed that one on the tree.

She pulled out the next one. It was the largest and somewhat tacky but so special to her. It did not start out tacky, but twice she had to take it to a special jeweler to have it added to. The original ornament was the symbol of the U.S. Marine Corps and in the middle where the world globe is an old picture of her brother, Patrick, in his marine uniform and standing next to him was Jason's bother Christopher also in his uniform. The photo was of them in Iraq. Two weeks after it was taken Christopher was killed. What Amber had to get added to the ornament was a gold stem branching off to include another picture. It was of Patrick and his wife on their wedding day and then branching from that was a picture of Patrick, his wife, and their son Sean, named after Amber and Patrick's father. Amber looked at the photos and smiled. Patrick's wife, Carly Shay…well Carly St. Claire now was still so beautiful and charming as she had been in high school and college. Amber looked at the photo of them when Sean was born. It was taken two hours after Carly gave birth, God…I hate her…I hope I look that beautiful after I give birth, she thought with a giggle. She really did not hate Carly anymore. She truly loved her sister in law and the two became close friends in their second year of college and closer when she and Patrick got married. It shocked Amber when Carly and Patrick started dating, but when Amber saw them together for the first time she knew the two were so in love and knew Carly was the girl Patrick was going to marry. Patrick finally gave up his plans to rejoin the marines and took Mr. Isuel up on his offer, went to college while working, got his masters in business, and was appointed vice president of the stores west coast operations. Under Patrick's control the stores grew to a national chain and were extremely successful and Patrick was named by Mr. Isuel to be the heir apparent of the stores. Carly was a successful author of a young teen fiction series. Her books were very popular and were based on characters who are not the most popular kids and deals with issues such as sexual confusion, dating, romance, the want to be in the cool crowd, and teen bullying. Amber read the books and really enjoyed them. Amber would sometimes tease her older brother about giving up the excitement and rush he craved when he was in he marines and in combat and his desire for danger and adventure. He would tell her being married to Carly and having a son was the most excitement and biggest rush he ever had in his life. He would then wink at her and tell his sister that being married to Carly was the most dangerous thing her ever did in his life. That of course would get him a slap in the back of his head by his lovely wife.

Amber smiled as she pulled out the next one. It was a simple and very expensive Swarovski Crystal heart about the size of a small apple. Inside the crystal was a picture. The picture was of a beautiful girl with long curly blonde hair dressed in a red and black plaid dress standing in front of a statute and a plaque that read The University of Washington. The girl was Samantha Puckett and the photo was the one given to Amber in a letter the girl wrote her to let her know she got into college. Amber loved the photo and the girl meant so much to her. Samantha was her first true love and the beautiful blonde always held a special secret place in Amber's heart no one else could ever have access to.

Samantha graduated UW with a degree in business marketing and even stayed and worked on her Masters Degree while working for a small marketing firm in Seattle, and for some strange reason the girl loved college. Not just the college experience of meeting new people and partying, but she loved the classes and the learning. Sam's big break came when she was pitching an idea to Zoo York, a well known company that manufactures skateboards and fashion apparel. The CEO of the company was so impressed with Sam he offered her a job two weeks later and the girl had been working for the company for the last three years. It was a dream job for Sam and she worked hard and worked her way up the company ladder until she became head of their East Coast division. She was perfect for the job, she knew skateboarding and the fashion the skater kids enjoyed and she could relate to their needs and wants. During her first year the profits for her division soared through the roof. It also helped that she approached her position at the company like she did things when she was in high school. She did not take shit from anyone and when she wanted something done it got done.

There was one more ornament and then the angel left in the container. This was always the last one and the hardest for her to put on the tree. The pain was still to new to her even after eight years. Amber pulled out a small silver box and opened it. Inside was the ornament, a newspaper clipping, and folded paper. She set the clipping, and paper aside, and lovingly caressed the ornament with her fingers. She then held it to her heart with tears in her eyes, "I love you, Ran. I miss you so much. I…no one…could have asked for a better best friend than you." She said and hung the ornament on the front of the tree. The ornament was a simple fourteen karat gold Korean character for the name "Hu-Ran". Amber wiped her eyes and sighed to control her emotions and then picked up the news paper clipping to read it as she did for the past six years when she first hung that ornament on her tree. She knew what it said by heart, but read it anyway. Another part of her ritual.

Hu- Ran Isuel, Future Olympic Star, Succumbs to Leukemia at 21

Hu-Ran Isuel, known to her friends as Ran, passed away early this morning after a short battle with Acute Leukemia. Diagnosed only eight months before she died, the disease claimed her life quickly.

Described by her friends and family as very lovely young girl with a wonderful sense of humor, Ran, a college sophomore at UCLA, was co-captain of the school's girl volleyball team(the first sophomore captain on the team) and had earned a spot on the U.S.A Olympic Girl's Volleyball Team for the Summer Olympics being held in Seoul Korea. Ran, being a American born Korean, was reported to be very excited about playing for the U.S in her family's country of origin and planned to visit her family, which she never met, in Korea while there. The 21 year old girl is survived by her Parents Byung and Hei. Her father is the owner of a well known sporting good store chain. The funeral is going to be a small memorial for family and close friends only. Please do not send flowers but the family is accepting donations to the Leukemia Association in Ran's name.

During high school Ran Isuel lead her team to three state championships and four district championships. She was a starting player her freshman year at UCLA that won the NCAA National Championship.

Francis Dermont, the coach of the Olympic Team, named Ran honorary team Captain and the team will wear black arm bands during the Olympics games to honor their fallen teammate and all the U.S. Olympic athletes will honor Ran during the opening ceremonies. It is also rumored South Korea will have a special ceremony to honor a "daughter" of their country and Mr. and Mrs. Isuel received a special invitation from the South Korean Government to attend the ceremony as honored guests. They have not yet decided if they will attend.

The coach and team are saddened by their loss and reported Ran was not only an outstanding player, a fierce competitor, but a pure joy to be around and true champion.

Amber, still with tears in her eyes, placed the newspaper clipping back in the silver box and pulled out the folded paper. She sighed sadly as she unfolded the paper and started to read the hand written note on hospital stationary. Again, something she did every year at this time. She used to read the note almost everyday at least twenty times, but she made a promise to her best friend she would one day stop grieving and move on. Amber inhaled a shaky breath and read.

My dear Amber…no that is not right is it? Not good enough! Lets try again - My dear, wonderful, sweet, beautiful, charming, lovely, darling, drama queen, manipulative, bestest, greatest friend, Amber Camille St. Claire,

I have asked the priest to give you this note after I am gone.

I am writing this note while I watch you sleep, yeah there are times when I am awake and your sleeping, not many but there are. You look so beautiful curled up on the couch. God, you are such a lovely young woman, inside and out. You look just like your mother. I know, I know, you hate that…but Ams, you do. I see your mother in you, baby, a lot of her in you. Which is a complement by the way since I adored your mom and thought she was a true lady.

I really don't know what to say…I am not going to go on and on about how much I love you…you know I do…and I don't have enough paper. But I will tell you this…Amber, I love you more than anything including my own life. What I am going to write is to help you. To help you move on. Amber, I'm dying, baby. I don't have long now I can tell. I know we have talked over the last few days about how I will get better and the things we will do when I get out of here, but you know as well as I do it is not going to happen. I am sorry…I am sorry for leaving you! But, baby, I am so tired and it hurts so much. The pain is unbearable sometimes and I…I need to go, Ams. I cannot fight it anymore. But I am scared to move on. I am not scared to die. I made my peace with God and I am forgiven and I have had time to prepare, but I am afraid to die because of you. Ams, I am so afraid my death is going to hurt you so bad and I have seen that type of pain in you when your mom and dad died and I never never wanted to be the cause of it! For that I am so sorry. And then I am afraid to leave you because who will look after you? Who will protect you from this evil world? That scares me! Be strong, Ams, show the strength you have shown in the last four days. Do not obsess over my death, yes you can be obsessive. Cry over me, grieve over me, morn over me, (Hell you better morn me, because if you don't I will come back and haunt your skinny white ass!), but do not let it obsess you. Show me that strength I know you have inside you. Promise me that!

Take care of mom and dad for me as well. Be a daughter to them now. They need you! Mom is a strong person, but she needs you, Amber. And dad…he does not show it now, but he is taking this very hard. Be good to them and care for them. They love you so much. Enclosed is a ring my mom and dad gave to me when I turned thirteen. I am giving it to you. It is a special ring that has been in my mom's family for generations and is traditional passed to the oldest daughter on their thirteenth birthday. Mom said it goes way back, I think she got it from a cereal box but humor her anyway…but seriously, I am giving it to you since you are now their oldest daughter. Pass it on to your daughter and then hers and so one. The writing on it are the Korean symbols for: Love, Kindness, and Honor. It is yours now. Mom has a special jeweler that sizes it and all. Think of me when you wear it, but think only of the good things we did and my love for you. Do not think of these terrible last four days. Promise me that! Never think of this awful days and me being sick! I do not want you to remember me this way!

Did you know I used to have a vision of our futures? A vision of when we would be older and married and have kids of our own. I would picture you and me sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea in the afternoon while our husbands (or wife for you) were at work and we would be watching our daughters play outside like we use to do. They would be as close as you and I are. Silly…but I liked it. I will not have a daughter to watch grow up, but you will. Tell her about me sometimes…I would like that.

Well, I am getting sleepy now and I will see you in the morning…thank you, Ams, think you for coming into my life and thank you for being my friend and for your love! I needed you in my life as much as you needed me. Did you know that? I know I was the stronger one and took care of you, but you gave me something in return. You gave me unconditional love! I did need you, Ams, more than you ever knew. Your friendship and love meant more to me than I can ever express or put into words so I will not even try. You are the writer anyway.

I love you so much and it was an honor, privilege, and blessing to be your best friend. My life was so much fuller with you in it! I am not going to tell you not to ever forget me, I know you won't. I will watch over you, trust me! I will be your guardian Angel…I promise you that!

I love you, baby, and I will miss you,

Ran

P.S. Tell your brother he should have married me when he had the chance!

P.S.S. One more thing – The first thing I want you to do when your leave the hospital is take a shower…after four days without leaving the room…well…Ams, you stink, sweetie!

Love you, baby…so much,

Ran

Amber folded the note, place it back in the box, and wiped her eyes. She smiled when she saw the silver ring on her finger and took a deep breath. Amber hung the ornament on the tree.

After the death of Ran, Amber and Patrick repaid the kindness the girl's mother and father gave them when their parents died. Kindness and love. Amber became a segregate daughter for the couple and Patrick of course was always like a son to the two. Ran's parents had a tendency to spoil Amber and also Patrick's son Sean, who they called their own grandson at times. Sean even called the two his grandparents. Amber grinned and touched her stomach, "Baby you are going to be sooo spoiled." Ran's mother was so excited when Amber told her she was having a girl. She smiled sadly. She often wondered if it was wrong to love Mr. and Mrs. Isuel as much as she loved her own mom and dad. Sometimes it made her feel guilty, but when she would ask Patrick at times he would smile, call her silly, and remind her their parents would be happy the two of them had someone as great as the Isuel's to care for them. Amber knew also her mom and dad would have done the same for Ran. She also knew it was something Ran's mom and dad needed as well.

Amber let out a small moan as she felt the baby kick and she placed a hand on her stomach. "Calm down, Lilly, Samantha will be home soon." She said aloud. They found out the baby was a girl four days ago and agreed to name it Lillian Ran St. Claire Puckett. Lillian for Ambers mother, Ran for well…Ran, and of course Amber and her wife's last names. Amber and Sam were married two years ago when New York passed the same sex marriage law and last year decided to have a baby. They considered adoption but then settled on in vitro. They also agreed they would adopt their next child. They reconnected after Ran's death and stayed very close friends while they finished college. They dated on and off over their college years but both girls decided on nothing serious since their career plans would keep them apart and at times on opposite sides of the world. One week Amber would be in Paris covering a fashion show and Sam would be in Tokyo introducing a new board or fashion line to the Asian market, but they always talked at least once a week without ever missing a week. True it may have been a brief phone call due to a hectic schedule, but it was still a phone call to say hi or ask how the other was doing. They agreed to date other people, but neither one did and when they did have a chance to see one another, even for one night, it was a night of passionate bliss for the both of them. They also spent hours laying in bed talking after their desires were slated. Amber would cry and hold a sobbing Sam in her arms as the blonde would talk about her father and the abuse she suffered. Sam would cry and laugh alongside Amber when the girl talked about her mom and dad. They shared their lives, past and present, with no secrets. They soon decided to date exclusively, moved in together, and then got married. Amber loved Sam with all her heart, but it was true love and not obsessive love as it was when she was younger.

Amber smiled and got up to fix herself some herb tea before she had to get dressed before Patrick and Carly arrived. She thought how happy her life was and how blessed she was to have Sam in her life and a baby on the way. She considered herself to be the luckiest person in the world, but one person would always disagree with her, Samantha always told her it was she that was blessed and lucky to have a wife like Amber in her life and a child on the way. Who was more blessed was something the two never could agree on.

End