.:Chapter Twenty-Nine:.
Bzzt bzzt.
Bzzt bzzt.
Patrick groaned and put his pillow over his face before reaching out to grab his phone and silence it. Noah, who was sitting on his bed on the other side of the room, looked up from the bag he was packing. "Jewel again?" He asked
"Yes, again!" Patrick's voice was muffled. "I keep telling her that I'll get back to her but she keeps blowing up my phone."
"Is it that bad?"
"Apparently." Patrick removed the pillow from his face and rubbed his eyes. "I'm kind of glad to be going home for that reason alone. She's freaking the fuck out, man." He shrugged. "Honestly, I can't blame her, but usually she's a bit calmer than this."
Noah raised and lowered his shoulder as he shrugged. "Well, it's like you said. We're going back now, so it's not like she'll have to wait much longer or anything."
"I'd agree with you if it wasn't for the fact she's making it seem like I cheated on her or something." Noah gave him a look and Patrick's eyebrows rose as he nodded in response. "Yeah, exactly. Girls are weird, man."
"So just ask Riles and Rhubes what to do. Or Gen or Jacqui."
"Yeah, I'm sure you'd love to talk to Jacqui about it." Patrick picked up his pillow and threw it at Noah, who caught it with one hand and threw it back.
He was silent for a long moment, resting his arms over his eyes. A part of him truly did want to go home, there was so much that had gone on in the last couple of weeks and days that just put a damper on things. Harry was getting stronger by the day but there were still complications, no one could tell him how much time had passed, they had to act like everything was normal.
But when he and Harry went to the gym to workout they couldn't work to the same intensity that they had before. Even then Patrick could see how frustrated Harry was getting over the whole thing. Not just because head to get healthy again, but also because of the shows that had to be postponed with no idea of when they would be scheduled again. It had to be hard to be the reason everything had to stop, especially when they blamed themselves. Harry hadn't said anything but Patrick could tell just by looking at him how guilty he felt about everything.
"Not to mention I'm falling behind in my school work and I need to me up with my advisor if I'm going to catch up on it," Patrick added.
That was the other thing he hated, feeling like he was letting not only himself, but Ronan and his parents down. It had been something that his mom and dad had instilled into him and his siblings for a long time, that school was important. Yes, his mother was Japanese, but no she never went into the stereotype to make absolute sure they got nothing but 'A's. It was, thankfully, one of the stereotypes she refused to portray. Still, having at least a high school degree was something that they wanted their children to at least have. College degrees were something they had the option of doing if they wanted to.
Honestly, Patrick never wanted to as school was never his favorite thing, but he had no other ideas of what he wanted to do at the time and just decided to apply for a History degree as it was his favorite subject. Unfortunately, his touring schedule coupled with songwriting, appearances, media days, and styling, and everything that went into was hard to keep up with at times.
"Yeah, I'm having some trouble with that, too, I think we all are, honestly. It's why I've tried to keep quiet whenever Ronan asks." Noah laughed a little then used his hand to push his hair from his face. "Last thing I want him to think is that I'm going to drop out."
"Mmm, I feel like it, sometimes."
"Would you do it?"
"Only if you would. Because I'm not going to suffer Ronan's wrath by myself." Patrick laughed. He looked up as James knocked on the doorframe and moved into the room. "Hey, man, what's up?" He sat up and gave James a high-five, who then did the same to Noah before sitting down on the end of Patrick's bed. "I thought you guys were going in town to talk to Fletch."
"We were but that got pushed back," James said. He blew his hair from his face in a frustrated breath. "So I came by to see if Tom was around to get some songwriting done."
"You mean to go fishing," Noah said with a half smile, which immediately dropped and he rolled his eyes when Patrick said, "What does fishing have anything to do with songwriting?" Noah turned his gaze back to James. "Ignore him, the rest of us do. Unfortunately, that just makes him talk even more." Patrick gave him the finger. "What's the meeting supposed to be about? The shows that we missed?"
"Sort of," James replied. He hesitated for a moment before bringing a hand up and started to absentmindedly rub his chin. "Fletch wanted to check in on the status of the band and everything. You know, to see how we're getting along now."
Patrick grinned, already knowing the answer. "What'd you tell him?"
"I don't know…" James replied. He and the twin boys started to laugh. It wasn't that funny but a typical James answer. Nearly every time he was asked something, even if he knew the answer, he'd start out by saying 'I don't know'. "But, honestly this time, I really don't. Me and Charlie haven't had a row as much as we have before. But we haven't really spoken to each other, you know? Actually, I'm surprised Charlie's stuck around because he hadn't really talked to anyone."
"Between you and Matt and Rhu, I don't think I'd talk to many people either, mate," Patrick said. Which was certainly the truth. Despite being on Charlie's side in the 'blow up' that Busted had years before, he felt for the guy in a lot of other ways. Not only was he the youngest of the band when it first started but being consistently known for his good looks—because he had been a model first—and not for his talent, Charlie had a massive chip on his shoulder that was probably still hard to overcome after being the reason for the band ending.
It was something that didn't seem to leave him alone.
"You also have to take into consideration that Charlie's always been really shy, too, mate," Noah said. "So, if anything, he probably doesn't want to say anything to you or Rhu in case things blow up in his face again." Then his eyes narrowed and he leaned forward to study James closely. "That's not it, is it? There's something else Fletch wanted to talk to you about."
James's eyebrows rose in startled surprise and he looked over at Patrick who shrugged. "We got used to that years ago, mate, now you have to deal with it. But he is right." Sitting up, Patrick brought his arms around his knees and studied James closely. "There's something else that you need to talk about. What is it?"
"I can't say," James said. He started to absentmindedly rub his beard again. A slightly glazed over look came to his eyes and Patrick chuckled to himself, watching him. The guy was supremely talented in everything that had to do with music but he could be a bit flighty too. "All I know is that there's something that I need to take care of back in New York so as bad as what's been going on with Harry, it didn't come at too much of a bad time."
"I think all of us are feeling that at this point, as bad as it is," Noah agreed.
Patrick glanced at Noah out of the corner of his eye, hearing something in his voice. Noah held up a hand, warning Patrick not to say anything and he nodded, keeping his mouth shut. It was one thing if Noah ever wanted to say anything but another if it was something he didn't want said and Patrick wasn't dumb enough to break that trust. He had seen it happen before for something Sydney accidentally spilled, and he wasn't about to see it happen again.
Especially when he knew it was something that was pretty serious.
Harry sighed in frustration as he slowly lowered his legs to the floor. He never wanted a maid again more than he did in that moment. Just so long as he didn't feel so pathetic about not being able to do things by himself. Then again, he was the one who said it was a good idea for everyone else to leave the house for a while so they didn't feel like they had to take care of him.
But he should've at least thought about that before realizing they would've been out for hours on end when he was starting to get hungry. And when he was too far away to get the remote to change it to Netflix or something .Sitting on his Instagram and Twitter accounts didn't help so much as well. While he was grateful fans were hoping things were okay and that the shows would be made up soon, he hated the guilt piling on top of him by the second. He was a liar and that's all there was to it, but the repercussions of explaining why he had to postpone the tour was worse than doing it.
The music industry was very strange in that way as much as it could be sick in others. It hadn't always been a problem but now it was something he did…
Shaking his head, Harry pushed himself until he was standing up. He stumbled a little bit, legs feeling wobbly. He hadn't felt this bad since the time he ran the marathon. Then it was a great charity, now…he had become careless. Even more so than he had ever been in his entire life. Harry rubbed his hands over his face. Who knew the time he spent passed out would mess up his body so much.
It looked so different in TV shows and movies, Harry thought. That was part of the problem as well, he knew a lot of his life was set in a 'that can't happen to me' mindset. Maybe he pushed the envelope a little too much on it. That was part of the big thing about being in the public eye and being part of the entertainment industry. Everyone told you 'yes' all the time, didn't put so much thought into what you did on your off-time as you were still making them money, and seemed to turn a blind eye to everything that wasn't completely life threatening.
If he remembered correctly Fletch had a clause in their contracts about the sports he and the rest of his best friends could and couldn't play for that reason alone. Especially American Football after they managed to duct tape Dougie to a field goal post after a concert one day in New York. Of course the worst part was when they realized he was actually stuck and they had to call in the Jacksons to help try and tear him down…tearing some of his skin in the process, but that was just stupid.
And funny.
But stupid.
Dougie's skin didn't grow back for a couple of months and even liquid band-aids didn't help much. He continued to get stuck to other things if he didn't sit carefully.
A low growl escaped Harry's lips as there was a knock at the front door and the doorbell rang. Of course he now had to shuffle like an old man all the way to the front door. He either needed a cane or would kill whoever was at the door. He pulled it open, ready to shout at the person then stopped when he spotted Jacqui standing on the front step, holding a large box in her hands.
"Hey," She greeted him cheerfully.
"Hey," Harry replied. He looked at her weirdly as she leaned back and forth, trying to see around him. "Uh, what are you doing?"
"Is Tom here?"
Harry felt his mood drop a little bit more. He tried to keep the annoyance from his face because, honestly, she didn't deserve it. There was a part of him that was annoyed due to their past together, but another part of him was annoyed that the topic of conversation was on something else.
"Uh, no."
"Good, I don't have to hear him whine and complain anymore than I have to." Jacqui pushed by Harry and walked into the house, carrying the box in front of her at arm's length. She walked it into the living room as Harry closed the door behind her, slowly shuffling along behind her. "Just because I like to mess with him so much."
"Don't we all." Harry finally made it over to the couch and lowered himself down. Then he sighed heavily, realizing he didn't make a break for the remote or to the refrigerator for something to eat. He hoped Jacqui had something in her box he could snack on. "So what brings you here? Other than to mess with Tom in some way?"
Jacqui's eyebrows rose in surprise. "To see how you're doing, of course," she said. Lifting her legs up onto the couch she crossed them beneath her. "I know we haven't really talked within the last couple of years or even on this tour but you know I still care about you." She reached out and poked him on the knee. "And if I find out that you did this on purpose…"
"Do you think anyone would willingly do this to themselves on purpose?" Harry asked.
"There are a few that I know…they don't really know when to stop or don't want to. I just want to make sure that you're not suicidal or anything," Jacqui said. Harry let out a surprised laugh and she held up her hands. "Hey, like I've said, I've seen it happen before. I don't want this to be anything—"
"—If I wanted to commit suicide chances are I would've done it the time we put out our Above the Noise CD, seeing how much of a flop that was," Harry joked. Jacqui stared at him for a long moment. His joke went down like a lead balloon. "Okay, so that's not funny."
"Not at all."
"Well, I can't say having to wait to get back to playing isn't depressing," Harry admitted. His eyebrows came together in confusion .Why had he decided to say that? He was the strong one of the band, the one who kept his feelings on certain matters undisguised. Though on the flipside wasn't the first one to reveal the way he felt about other topics. Not to mention the one who liked to push people's buttons in tough decisions and conversation topics. "There's nothing that I love more than to drum but even after that—"
"—You just like to be healthy and able to live a healthy lifestyle, I know," Jacqui interrupted. She reached out and picked lint off of her jeans. Laughter escaped her lips when Harry turned her way. "You talked about it all the time when we went out; if we were together you were going to the gym or out on a run for one reason or another. And that was mostly after you dropped smoking so much pot."
"That's very true," Harry agreed.
"So if there's anyone else that understands that it's me."
That was very true, too.
They had a lot of things in common, especially both wanting to be able to get as much fun and joy out of life as they could. She was just as spontaneous as he was; willing to do anything he suggested at a moment's notice. Not to mention she liked to go out and party as much as he did. Their family dynamics were similar, what they wanted out of life was similar…part of the time he couldn't understand why they didn't work out.
"So why don't you tell me what you're really feeling?"
"Why don't you tell me what's in the box." Harry skillfully avoided the subject, turning his attention to the large item that nearly took up all of the space on the couch. He started to open it then pulled his hand back when Jacqui slapped the top of his hand.
"My box, I open it!" She declared. Throwing Harry a quick glare, she opened the flaps on the box and started to dig through it. She first produced a couple of books. "First, I have some books for you to read to keep you from becoming too bored."
Too late, Harry thought.
"Then I've got some iTunes gift cards so you can get some new music and podcast to load onto your iPod. Or maybe some videos." Jacqui threw the two pieces of plastic to him, which he barely caught against his chest. "Then some practice pads for drumming," she said. "Some DVDs and magazines…" she chuckled. "I'll let you go through those in the safety and privacy of your own room."
Harry took them and set them aside. "Ha ha," he said.
"And last but not least, this is probably the only time you can get away with eating unhealthy…" Jacqui fished through the last of the box and produced multiple packages of candy. "More candy than you can ever imagine." She brandished the colorful packets, almost going so far as to throw them into the air.
Laughing, Harry took them and looked them over. "I think you're starting to take this Pixie Stick obsession a little too far. Especially what happened the last one hundred times, mate."
"It's not an obsession; it's a way of life."
"I'm sure."
Harry took everything and set it aside. "Thanks, Jac. You really know how to make me feel better. Especially since everyone else can hardly look at me." He crossed his arms. "Especially Dougie. He practically sprints in the opposite direction every time I look at him."
It took him a few minutes before Jacqui's giggling reached his ears. He looked over at her, eyes narrowing into a glare when he saw her moving her hand to cover her mouth. Her shaking shoulders gave her away. When their eyes met she burst out into loud laughter. It took a few more minutes for her to finally calm down, wiping tears away from her eyes.
"I'm sorry," She apologized. "But thinking that Dougie wants to get away from you is funny. Imagining him doing it is even funnier."
Harry smiled and then started to laugh himself when he realized how crazy it was. He really didn't blame them at all. When he woke up all of his friends were around him, letting him know how worried they were, brought in balloons and gifts, and hung out with him as long as the hospital would allow them. And they continued to make sure he was okay it was the elephant in the room that was the problem.
"How's he doing?" She asked.
"As good as can be, glued to my hip almost much as ever before," Harry said. "I think Tom's about to have a nervous breakdown though. But that's just Tom. And Danny tries to make me laugh as much as possible, but his psycho laugh is starting to get on my nerves."
"So is there anything you remember from that night?"
"Absolutely nothing." Harry started to pick at the scar that formed on his hand from the time he injured it during a show. He was telling the truth. He remembered darkness and waking up but nothing before and nothing directly after.
The only thing he knew for sure was that he wasn't ever going to drink again.
He was going to move on in many other areas of his life.
He glanced over at Jacqui as she picked up a package of candy and started to open it, using her teeth to do so.
Hopefully sooner rather than later.
