I was lounging on the couch with Godric, playing some Temple Run on my phone, when Pam's coffin popped open. "Did you sleep at all?" Pam asked as she stood, gazing at Blondie. Blondie, who was still seated at his desk, was dripping blood from his eyes, nose, and ears.

Blondie took his cloth, dabbing at his bloodied face. "I'm fine."

"Are the guards still outside?"

Blondie nodded. "Pam, whatever the Authority decides, I will not allow you to take any responsibility."

I tuned them out enough to continue playing my game, though I got the gist of their conversation. I got that Blondie wasn't expecting to make it out of this alive.

I turned the game off, flipping over to my messages. I scrolled through, way down to the bottom of the list of texts, and found Declan. I opened the thread, from over a year ago, with my last message being 'Fuck off!'.

Hey… I need a favor. I sent.

I got a reply seconds later. What's up?

You still got connections with the Authority? Sent

The fuck did you do, Anna? He replied.

Wasn't me this time. You know anything about a trial involving Eric Northman?

Yeah. They're flipping their shit over this case. Looks like the ruling will be to execute Northman.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I quickly typed out my next text. I need you to clear him. He can't die.

How the fuck do you expect me to get that done?

I don't know. I just need you to do this. Please. I'll do anything.

Fine. I'll figure something out. You owe me, Anna. Big.

I let out a small sigh of relief, though there was a seed of dread along with it. Because deals with Declan didn't have a reputation for ending well. I know. Anything you want, it's yours. I typed out my reply, sending it and shoving my phone back into my pocket. I looked up to tell my vamps, when there was a knock at the door as it was pushed open. One of Nan's guards walked in. "Nan has arrived."

Fuck. I really hoped Declan had time to get things sorted.

Blondie nodded, standing from his chair. We filed out of the office, taking a seat at one of the high tables. I was just praying that Declan would be able to fix things before they couldn't be undone.

Nan, the bitch, strode in through the main entrance, a sour look on her face (or, more sour than her typical sour). "You look like shirt," she said to Blondie as she approached our table.

"Well I feel fantastic," Blondie sassed.

"The ruling is as follows. The Authority finds Mr. Northman g-" Nan halted, a hand going up to her ear as she listened to her earpiece. "Understood," she said, I assume to the Authority. "The ruling is as follows. The Authority disavows any knowledge of our interview, your statement, or indeed, the ruling itself. None of this ever happened."

I let out a sigh of relief. Declan had done it. "What?" Blondie questioned.

"Missing royals, dead Magisters. It's a political tar baby no one wants to touch, not with the VRA this close to ratification."

"Russell will not stop killing. What if the human public learns of it?" Blondie asked as he stood, walking over to Nan. I wish he'd just down and thank the fucking gods they weren't going to kill him.

"That's why you're going to take care of it. Quietly, discreetly, and most important of all completely off the books. You want revenge? It's yours."

"What resources are you gonna give me?" For fuck sake, why couldn't Blondie keep his mouth shut and see this was a good outcome?

"None. We're not getting near it." Nan started to walk, and I was just happy to see her leave.

"How do you expect me to kill him? He's three times my age, almost a thousand years older than Godric."

Nan walked back towards him, because the dufus couldn't keep his face holeshut. "Listen, you whiny little bitch. The only link between Sophie-Anne, Russell, and the Magister is you. You brought us this steaming pile of shit and you're going to make it go away. Bring me his fangs, or I will have yours." She stalked off, her guards trailing behind her.

As soon as the bitch and her guards were out the door, Blondie was smashing a bottle of alcohol (maybe tequila? Such a waste) across the room.

"Dude, the tequila!" I whined, pouting as I looked down at the liquid on the floor. It was a full bottle, too. Blondie paced, snarling under his breath, hands clenched into fists. Godric, Pam and I watched him pace, before I got tired of watching him and stood up, gently grabbing onto his arm. "You're fine. They're not gonna kill you," I said.

"No… not yet," he muttered through a clenched jaw. He pulled out his phone, punching in some numbers and putting it to his ear. He mumbled into the phone, too low for me to follow.

Once he hung up the phone, Pam pounced. "Are you kidding me?" she hissed, glaring at Blondie.

Godric was also glaring, "Eric…"

"No. This needs to be done," Blondie said.

"Could someone fill me in? What needs to be done?" I asked, because hella confused.

"Go ahead, Eric. Tell her," Pam demanded, hand on her hip.

"I have a lawyer coming over to write up a will," Blondie explained.

"Why?" I asked, brow furrowing.

Blondie rolled his eyes. "I have a lunatic of a three thousand year old vampire who wants to kill me," he said.

"You're not going to die," I told him.

"What, do you have a plan to stop Russell Edgington?" he sneered at me. I just glared up at him, and Godric placed a hand on my arm.

I rolled my eyes with a huff, turning away from him and heading to the bedroom in back for a quick shower. My 'quick' shower turned into a really long shower, as I had way too much blood caked onto my skin (though my clothes were fresh… pretty sure Pam had changed my clothes while I was out).

By the time I'd finished my shower and pulled my mostly fresh clothes on, the lawyer dude had arrived. He and Blondie were seated at one of the tables, with Pam pacing behind Blondie, Godric seated at the bar.

Blondie was growling at Pam when I walked into the room, "-oldest and strongest vampire on the planet, before he eviscerated a newsman live on TV. Now he's also the craziest, and his rage is directed at me. Do the math." Eric motioned for the lawyer to continue.

"Article 4, I give the rest of my residuary estate to…" The man continued, and I walked over and sat on the bar counter, to Godric's side.

"My progeny, Pamela Swynford De Beaufort."

Pam,who was still pacing, questioned, "You're not even going to put up a fight?"

"Of course I am, but until I come up with a brilliant plan to beat him I am cover my bases. And your ass."

"Eric," Pam started, but Blondie cut her off.

"Unless you have a plan for me to defeat Russell Edgington, do not distract me," he snarled at her. She fell silent, and he turned back to the lawyer. "Go on."

"Your signature requires a witness, but the witness cannot be the beneficiary of your estate."

"Godric?" Blondie requested.

Godric let out a sigh, but stood and walked over, watching Blondie sign the paper, then signing it himself.

"Well, congratulations, according to the state of Louisiana, should Mr. Northman meet the true death, you will become a very wealthy vampire," the lawyer said to Pam. "I'll show myself out."

Pam glared at Blondie for a moment, before stalking off into his office. Blondie muttered something about going to visit Bill and Sookie, before storming out of the bar.

"Well, bye," I muttered after the angry viking, letting out a sigh. I looked to Godric. "What the fuck just happened?" I asked. Godric just shrugged a shoulder, taking a seat in the bar stool next to me again. "Any great ideas to kill Russel without him killing all of us?" Godric just gave me a look, which I took as a no.

Fuck.

#

Godric and I had yet to come up with any great ideas. Godric wasn't being very helpful, and kept shooting all my ideas down. I mean, I thought distracting Russell with a mariachi band then staking him was a great plan.

Not even half an hour after he left, Blondie strode back through the front door. He stalked past me and went right into his office, closing the door behind him. Pam walked into the main bar from the back storage room and looked at me, then at Blondie's office door. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!" I said, holding my hands up in surrender.

"Well, obviously something-"she stopped as Barbie stormed into the bar.

"Where is he?" Barbie demanded.

"Queen Ken? No clue, I thought he was missing." I replied.

"Queen? What?" Barbie asked, glancing between Pam and Godric.

"Bill," Pam explained.

"No, not Bill. He's fine, thanks for asking," she sassed, "I'm looking for-"

"Wait, so Ken's not missing?"

"Oh my gosh, no! I'm looking for Eric!" Barbie groaned out.

"Blondie? Office," I said, pointing to the door.

Barbie marched into Blondie's office, Pam at her side. I watched them go, then turned back to Godric with a shrug. "So, the mariachi band," I started.

"We are not hiring a mariachi band. I don't know what your obsession with them is, but it's not going to happen," Godric said.

I pouted, "You're no fun." I looked over as the office door opened then closed, Pam filing out. I raised a brow, glancing at the door that now held Blondie and Barbie. I turned to Godric. "Boo, what'er they saying?" I asked. Pam shushed me. Rude.

After a minute, which I got no response from Godric or Pam, Pam stomped back into Blondie's office for a moment, then back out.

Blondie appeared a few seconds after Pam. "This better be good," he said as he faced Pam.

"You're too busy signing wills and making out with the solution instead of using her," Pam said.

"You kissed her?" I said, lip curling up, because ew. Not that she wasn't attractive, it was just… she was such a freaking Barbie.

"There isn't any way to use her. It won't work," Blondie said, ignoring me. Rude.

"We know Russel wants her, give her to him to save your own skin," Pam replied.

"No."

"He's going to get her anyways, sooner or later."

"No. I won't do that to her."

"You're choosing a human over yourself, Eric? Over me?" Pam sniffled.

"You're lack of sentiment has always been your most admirable quality, do not disappoint me now," Blondie snarled.

"Don't be a dick," I snapped, glaring at the blond. Blondie turned to me with a sneer, mouth open, but it snapped shut after a glance to Godric.

"You don't get it, do you?" Pam asked him. "You would say or do anything to save Godric. I have no interest in inheriting your farm on Oland, that place is a windy shithole. If you're not going to give him Sookie, at least find out how to use her. And fast." Pam turned on her heel and walked out.

"Dickface," I sneer, stalking up to Blondie to poke him in the chest. He looked down at me from his towering height, an intimidating scowl on his face, which I ignored. "She doesn't want to lose you, Blondie," I said, letting my face soften as I looked up at the tall viking. "Neither do I."

Blondie reached over and brushed his hand through my hair. He gave a nod, and walked back into his office. I rolled my eyes, giving Godric a this bitch look. Several moments passed, and Blondie's office door flew open, and Blondie walked out and past Godric and I, carrying a screaming Barbie over his shoulder.

Da fuq?