Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Chapter 29

"Hi, Chloe. How are you doing?" Bill asked as he walked into Chloe's room, carrying the breakfast he had promised to bring.

Chloe smiled broadly as her eyes fell upon the food. "I'm doing much better, now that I have something decent to eat." She took the food Bill had brought and quickly dug in. "I know you guys are tired of me complaining about the food here, but I just can't help it. It's disgusting."

"I understand, Chloe. Whatever I can do to help, just let me know."

"Thanks, Bill." She quickly finished off breakfast and lay back down. "Other than the fact that I'm stuck in this bed for another few months, and my arm is still weak, things are going as well as they could be. I survived 2 years of hell, my sister is back in my life, my friends have been here for me, and then Jack tells me that he loves me. Even though I might never walk again, I know everything's going to be all right." She stopped smiling and looked down. "That's why I'm afraid, Bill. I'm afraid that this is just a dream, that I'll wake up back in that prison. Or that something else will go wrong, and everyone will leave me. It's the story of my life- just when everything is going fine, tragedy strikes."

She looked back at Bill. "Bill... Jack told me what Secretary Heller said to him when he came back from China- that he was cursed, that everyone around him winds up dead. Do you... think I'm cursed? Because everyone around me ends up dead, or worse."

"No, I don't, Chloe" Bill said firmly. "Why would you even think that?"

"Because it's true" Chloe replied. "My life has been full of tragedy. The one person who really cared about me when I was growing up was killed, just when I finally have my life in order. I get a job at CTU, only... only to be assaulted a month after starting. I try to put that behind me, only to get arrested for the first time because of my boss. I get out of trouble, only to get back in trouble. I get out of DC, get my life together, only to have my best friend have his hand cut off by his partner. Chase still has problems with that hand, even today."

"Jack leaves to work in DC, and I try to forget about him, and get on with my life. Then he shows up, and I end up fired because I decide that what he's doing is right. All the stability I had gotten was gone, again. I come back to CTU for the day, and get sucked into a plot to fake Jack's death. For 18 months, I had to work 2 jobs- work for CTU, and work to keep Jack from being discovered. Obviously, I failed, because someone found out, and everyone who knew Jack was alive was attacked. Everyone else was killed because I screwed up. I would have been killed, too, if Jack hadn't have saved me. And you know everything else that happened that day, Bill. I lost my best friend."

Chloe began to cry. She was still not over Edgar's death, even 5 years later. Bill put his hand on her shoulder gently. "It's all right, Chloe."

Chloe sniffed and wiped away her tears. "It still hurts, thinking about him. He was only a few feet away from me, and I couldn't do anything to save him. If I left that room to be at his side, everyone else would have been killed. I would have been killed. All I could do was watch as he died, completely alone. He was such a good friend to me, and how did I treat him? Like a friend? No. All I ever did was yell at him, and push him away."

She took a deep breath and continued. "Then there was having to go against the most powerful man in the world. A man who had all the resources he needed to keep his dirty little secrets, who had us all squarely in his crosshairs. I was so scared, Bill. Scared that at any moment, he would get to Jack, get to me. I could have gone to prison for the rest of my life as a traitor, or even been executed. But I knew that what Jack was doing was the right thing to do, so I pushed that fear aside. There were more pressing things to worry about. Fortunately for all of us, it worked out. Except for Jack."

"That was one of the worst days of my life, even worse than when I lost my brother. I would have left CTU and that life for good, if Jack hadn't have been taken. He saved my life, Bill, saved all our lives. How could I just abandon him, like everyone else did? When he came back, only to be sacrificed, I was so angry. All the sacrifices he had made weren't enough for the people in charge. All my work to find him had meant nothing. That's why I almost wrecked the exchange- not just to save Jack, but to prove to myself that my work would not be wasted."

"After the day was over, and I found out I was pregnant, I decided to leave CTU. I blamed that place for everything that had happened to me. I thought if I left that life, I could have some control over my own life at last, and that things would work out with Morris. I guess I was wrong. CTU wasn't the reason bad things kept happening to me, it was me. Just when I have my life back in order once again, this happens. I spent 2 years in that prison, Bill. 2 years, fighting every minute just to survive, doing whatever I could not to give in to the pain. And for what? Protecting a country that abandoned me? Think about that, Bill, then tell me I'm not cursed."

Chloe stopped talking, exhausted from pouring out her soul to Bill. Bill sat in silence for a few minutes, then pulled Chloe into a quick hug. "Chloe, listen to me. You are not cursed. You've been through things that no one should have to suffer through, especially not someone like you, who fights for what she believes in. But that doesn't mean you're cursed, Chloe. You're a strong, courageous, exceptional woman. A lesser person wouldn't have been able to face all that, and survive. You should be proud of everything you've done." He pulled away. "I don't want to hear any more talk of you being cursed, Chloe, because it's not true. You hear me?"

Chloe looked at him, seeing the conviction in his eyes. He really believes what he's saying. Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm not cursed, after all. "Thank you, Bill."

"You're welcome, Chloe. Now come on, cheer up. Forget about the past, and focus on the future."

"I will."

2424242424

Chloe was working with the weights she had been given, pumping out reps, taking care not to graze her legs in any way. One bad bump, and I could be a cripple for life, they said. Well, that's not going to happen. She had finished the sets with her left arm with ease, but her right arm was taking all her energy to finish half the sets she was required to do. This is so frustrating. She tried to finish, but was unable to get to the end, and she dropped the weights on the floor, laying back in frustration.

"What's wrong, Chloe? Why are you stopping?" Jack asked.

"What do you think's wrong, Jack? I can't do anymore. No matter how hard I try, I just can't finish. It's so frustrating." She looked down dejectedly.

Jack looked at her, feeling heartbreak once again. She's giving everything she's got. "Chloe, I know you're frustrated right now, but you can't let that beat you." He grabbed the weights off the floor. "Come on, try again. I know you can do this. Only a few more left, then you can rest."

Chloe looked at him for a moment, then grabbed the right weight and began working again. She quickly found herself reaching her breaking point, but she pressed on this time. Jack thinks I can do it. I'm not going to let him down. Chloe was sweating heavily, but managed to pump out the last set after a furious push. She set the weight down again, this time in relief. "I did it."

Jack kissed her quickly. "That's my girl. I told you you could do it." He tossed Chloe a towel. "Here."

"Thanks." She wiped the sweat off her face quickly, then scowled, shifting uncomfortably.

"What's wrong, Chloe?" Jack asked.

"Nothing" Chloe replied quickly.

"Chloe, don't do that. Don't shut me out again. Something's bothering you. You know you can tell me anything."

"Just a bad memory, from that prison. I just... it's hard to talk about, Jack. No matter what I try, I can't forget about what happened to me." I can't tell him this. I can't give him any more guilt.

"Chloe... I know you'd like nothing more than to forget you were imprisoned. But you can't just bottle up your feelings, and expect them to go away. That might have gotten you through that hell, but you need to talk about it." Jack grabbed her arm, gently massaging it to loosen the muscles. "I know how you feel, Chloe. I was the exact same way when I came back from China. After that day was over, I knew no one would have understood what happened to me, so I didn't talk about it, hoping it would be forgotten. It didn't work. I couldn't just forget an experience like that. I was so miserable, and I found myself wanting just to talk about what happened to me. I still feel that way, even now. I don't want you to go through that, Chloe. Please, talk to me."

Chloe found her resistance slipping. This is the man I love. I shouldn't keep things from him. He's right. He's always right. "All right, Jack." She took a deep breath. "It was about 4 months before you rescued me. Burke was obsessed with breaking me at that point. The torture before had been bad, but by then, it was almost primal what they were doing to me. I had been subjected to a month of sleep deprivation. Every time I tried to close my eyes, I would be slapped, or beaten, or worse, save for one night a week, when I was left alone to get a shred of rest. I was going insane, Jack. I couldn't even see straight, I was so tired. After that, when I still refused to break, I was taken to a freezer and locked in for hours."

"Being stuck in freezing temperatures for that long is hard enough when you have clothes on. I was completely naked, though, save for the collar they put on me to keep me in place. It was the worst kind of torture they could have done to me, Jack. I didn't even have the energy to shiver, I was so tired. Everything that I normally would have done to keep warm was impossible, because my hands were bound behind my back, and my feet were chained in place. I couldn't even sit down, or I would choke. All I could do was stand there and freeze."

"I don't know exactly how long I stayed in that freezer. A few hours, at least. They came back to get me later, and I couldn't even walk. I was dragged on the floor like an animal, and thrown back in my cell like a piece of trash. I didn't care, though. It might not have been much better in that cell, but at least it wasn't freezing."

"It didn't get any better after that. I contracted pneumonia from the time I spent in that freezer, and... it almost killed me, Jack. My body was so weak from over a year and a half of near starvation, combined with daily beatings, that I very nearly died. I spent the next few months wishing I had died. At least then, I would be free. But you saved me, Jack. You and everyone else."

Jack merely sat back, absorbing everything Chloe had told him. Just when I think I know you, Chloe, you surprise me yet again. "I don't know what to say, Chloe."

"Jack, you don't have to say anything. You being here for me is enough." Chloe smiled, then frowned. "Jack? Did they ever do anything like that to you in China?"

Jack shook his head quickly. "No, Chloe. What I went through was brutal, but nowhere near as brutal as what you went through. I was never locked in a freezer, or put through total deprivation, or chained in place for days at a time. And I never had my legs broken. They mostly put me through hard labor, when they weren't torturing me for information. That doesn't mean it was easy for me, though. It was the hardest thing I'd ever been through."

"The lowest point for me was about 7 months after I had been taken. Cheng had been pushing me harder and harder to try and break me. He wanted to know who in their government was working for the US. I wouldn't tell him, though. I hadn't said a word since I was taken, and I intended to keep my silence. A few days after that, 2 men broke into the prison. They claimed they were Americans, and that they were there to get me out. I was desperate to escape, so I went with them. We left the prison, escaping from Cheng's men, and eventually met up with our contact. I thought at that moment I was finally free. I could go back home and get back to living my life."

"Unfortunately, it was a trap. Once I confirmed that the man we were meeting was our contact, Cheng showed up, killing the informant on the spot. He had hired the mercenaries to trick me into giving up information. I was so crushed. The one thing that had kept me going that time was knowing that I wouldn't talk, and I failed. Cheng backed off for a while after that. I had given him what he wanted, and he was satisfied for the moment. For months after that, my only thought was that I had betrayed my country. I wanted nothing more than to kill myself."

"But every time I tried, something would stop me. I kept seeing the people I cared about. Kim, Audrey, Teri... and you. It was always you that stopped me, that convinced me to keep living, Chloe. I couldn't figure out why, but for some reason, seeing you was enough to keep me from finishing the job. I know why now, though. It was because I loved you, and I had never gotten the chance to tell you how I really felt about you." Jack looked away. "Now you probably think I'm a traitor. If you don't want to see me again, I'll understand."

Chloe merely looked at him. "Jack, don't think for a second that you are a traitor. You gave up information, yes. But not because you were broken, or anything like that. You were tricked. Anyone put in that position would have done the same thing. That doesn't mean I don't care about you, or that I love you any less. We're in this together, Jack, whether you like it or not."

Even now, she still has faith in me. "Thank you, Chloe." Jack smiled, then leaned in and kissed Chloe firmly. The two of them sat there for minutes, lost in each other, until they were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Tyler was standing in the doorway, drumming her fingers on her arm. "Jack, could I talk to you for a minute? Alone?"

Jack reluctantly broke away from Chloe and got up to follow Tyler out of the room. "What is it, Tyler?"

"Jack, what are you doing?"

"What?" Jack was confused. "We were just kissing, Tyler. Besides, you were the one who told me to admit my feelings for Chloe."

"I know I did, Jack. But you have to be careful. You could go too far, and end up hurting her. What would happen if you let your passion get the better of you, and she takes a bad knock, and ends up paralyzed, or worse?" Tyler asked. "Look, Jack. I know you care about Chloe, and I know you would never intentionally hurt her. I just don't want her to get hurt."

"I give you my word, Tyler. I won't hurt her" Jack said earnestly. "I would never forgive myself if something happened to her because of me."

"Good." Tyler looked at Jack sternly, then smirked. "Now that that's settled, go back in there. She's waiting for you."