Happy to see me? ;D
HEY GUYS. BBS BACK TO WORK. *SALUTES* Anyways, I'd blab on about how my two weeks were absolute TORTURE but I know you guys are in a rush to read, so I'll blab at the end alright? :D
GO! GO! GO!
000
The next day, Allen woke up with dried tears streaked down his cheeks, he had gone against texting or calling Lavi back. Guilt weighed too heavily down on his shoulders for him to even hear his voice. He honestly didn't deserve a person like Lavi. What the hell did he ever do to deserve this? He was a deplorable and lowly prostitute that sold himself regularly on the streets.
Lavi was an accomplished photographer that owned his own place and had travelled the world. His contagious smiles and grins were enough to light up Allen's entire day and his ability to understand Allen so easily made him consider whether or not it was written all over his face.
Allen wanted to scream and throw himself to the ground. He loved Lavi with all his heart and he was holding him back. Allen was way below Lavi's level, and he knew that. He fucking knew it and he still let himself fall deeper in love with the redhead.
He really was heartless.
Allen smiled bitterly.
So, this is what it all came down to.
He needed to give Lavi up. There were countless other people out there that would make Lavi so much happier than Allen ever could. All he had done was cause Lavi to spend money on him and worry about him.
That wasn't a life he would wish on anyone.
He would leave Lavi so the redhead could finally get into his head that he could do so much better. He would be heartbroken, but it would probably be a shallow wound.
Nothing a new boyfriend couldn't fix.
He would find a better boyfriend that smiled like he meant it, didn't have sex nightly for money, and didn't sleep in an alleyway with nothing but a suitcase of belongings.
But Allen loved him…and he didn't want to let him go.
But he had to. If he truly loved Lavi, he'd let the redhead have a better chance at happiness.
Allen's heart ached, he had never been this happy in his life—never. But it was so utterly selfish of him to keep Lavi to himself because he felt "happy".
Allen didn't need happiness to live, he didn't need that. He had gone 16 years without it, what was the rest of his life? It wouldn't be that big of a deal.
And finally, after the sun had long come up from behind the dark horizon, Allen decided to text Lavi back.
I hate you.
000
The redhead stared incredulously at his cell phone. Was he seeing this correctly? So many emotions flashed through his head: Confusion, anger, frustration and even more confusion.
Had he done something wrong? Was something the matter with him?
What had Lavi done? He just couldn't wrap his head around it. The past few days had been the best in his entire life. He had never been happier—never.
What?
Allen flipped open his phone, closed his eyes and bit his lip in protest of the fresh tears cascading down his face. Every word he typed pierced his heart like sharpened daggers. It hurt him to hurt Lavi like this…
But it would all be better in the end.
This was for the better…This was for the better, Allen kept reminding himself.
This will only be a sting to Lavi's heart, and soon enough he will move on.
Allen wouldn't have minded watching Lavi from afar. He knew that he himself would never fully recover from this, but it was all for Lavi.
He would tell other men about Lavi and ask them to meet up with him. And then he'd watch from far away, watching Lavi through the window of a café, or silently hiding behind another person to watch the redhead walk by, and perhaps even catch his scent if he was lucky every once in a while.
He didn't mind…as long as it made Lavi happy.
This was all for the better.
What part of "I hate you" do you not understand? I don't want to be with you Lavi. I just needed some fun and you happened to be the closest person with money. Did you honestly think I wanted to go out with you forever? Grow up.
This was all for the better.
This was all for the better.
A choked gasp erupted from Allen's lips. His heart felt like it was wrenching inside his chest, he opened his mouth in a silent sob and clutched at his chest. It felt hollow. It was gone, it was all over now. He needed to make it impossible for Lavi to forgive him.
Impossible.
I don't even know why the hell I even keep this phone, but thanks—I really needed one. I guess that saved me a lot. I could keep track of my clients' numbers more easily with it.
Impossible.
Also, my client says hi. :)
Impossible.
Don't even bother trying to talk me out of this. I am so over you.
This was all for the better…
Allen's body crumpled into a tiny ball on his suitcase. He grabbed at his snow white hair and cried into his knees.
"No, no, no, no…" Allen cried, hitting his chest where his heart had once been.
000
Whatever pieces of his heart Lavi had left, they were immediately obliterated. Every word, every sentence, every taunt was driving him insane.
He called his office.
"But Lavi, Vivian's photo shoot for Milan starts today, you have to come or—."
"I SAID I DON'T FUCKING CARE." Lavi immediately regretted that.
A sigh.
"Look….Nana, I can't come to work today. I'm just not….I just can't alright? I can come tomorrow but just not today okay? Just not today…"
000
After a while, Allen's throat was too sore to emit any more noises. His voice was lost, his eyes were bloodshot, and his heart was torn and scattered.
He felt numb once more. It was like he and Lavi had never met.
He nestled his head further into his thighs, not noticing when a shadow overcastted his broken body.
"Tsk tsk tsk, what is the matter my dear playmate?"
The boy nearly jumped at the sudden burst of sound, and slowly raised his head to look at the person.
Even before he looked up, from the way his spine tingled and the way he visibly shuddered, Allen knew who that velvety voice belonged to.
Tyki smirked upon seeing Allen's tears, leaning over the wall where the boy was now cornered.
"Tell me, what has happened to leave you out in such…an unsavory place such as this?"
Allen glared at the man, shooting darts at him and hoping that the man got the hint that he wasn't exactly in the mood right now.
Tyki chuckled darkly and grabbed Allen's chin, turning his head to the right, then the left.
"Such a beautiful face, one must not scrunch it up and glare. It only makes you look all the cuter my dear."
Allen slapped Tyki's hand away from his chin.
"Ooh, such a feisty little kitten we have here." The man breathed amusedly as he ran his lips against Allen's angrily trembling ones.
"Go fuck yourself." He whispered hoarsely, furiously.
Tyki chuckled again, throwing his head back in mock entertainment before he forced Allen to his feet and pressed his body against the boy's—his own arousal so evident.
"Don't you think it would be so much more fun to fuck someone else, my dear?" He whispered with a smirk.
000
CLIIIFFFHHHAAANNNGGERRRRR
*SHOT*
Hahaha sorry for the cliffy guys, after two weeks of torture I decided to…you know…TORTURE YOU MORE. Well as for my 2 week adventure…IT WAS TERRIBLE GUYS. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. Sitting there, WORKING. Oh gosh, it was horrible. Then after I finished a MAJORITY of my work…
I burnt half my right hand.
Chyeah. It SUCKED. It blistered and everything, it's fine now—it's all healed. But apparently, the scars will always be there. OTL But, ah, I guess I'll live; the scars aren't that bad either.
NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE LONGER, I PROMISE.
And as for many of your expectations, yeah yeah, you guys were right; I'm not COMPLETELY done with my work. But I'm glad I took the hiatus because I only have that one timeline and worksheet left. And I still have a month to do it.
Thanks for being patient, and I'll just up now because this A/N is going to be longer than the actual chapter. xDD
PLEASE REVIEW…I MISSED YOU GUYS.
