Big thanks to gioiagirl216 for following/favouriting.

Celebrisilweth – Yeah I'm having to do time jumps else it just gets a bit stale.

Hdwb – I didn't want Fili to be forgotten about given he has stuff to deal with as well. Thanks for all the compliments!

Nenithiel – It'll take time but Kili will get fixed I promise.

ColorGuradianoftheGlaxay – Yeah I know, but given Kili has always believed Thorin hasn't loved him as much as Fili you can't blame him too much given his mental state right now.

Sorrellkaren – Yeah that will happen eventually but I don't want to rush Kili. Sending him loads of hugs though.

Guest – Aww I'm sorry. But you may need some more tissues soon.

Mili – I always feel so bad when I do stuff like this to Fili and Kili!

Filikililove – Not this fic but I am considering doing a very short Durincest fic at some point in the near future.

Dojonson41 – You'll have to wait and find out!

Road to Recovery

A Month Later

Sitting cross legged on his bed Fili looked over as his brother did the same thing. He still couldn't believe it had been a month since Kili had been brought home. A month of knowing his brother was alive. A month of knowing Kili was safe and back with his family.

But it was also a month of having to see how broken Kili was. How lost. A month of hearing his screams as nightmares crowded his sleep. A month of him staying locked in his room – too afraid to leave in case the orcs took him again. A month of Fili trying to work out how to get his brother back. Rubbing his eyes Fili looked over to see Kili playing with his toy raven and now Fili's toy lion. Kili's unbraided hair fell over his face. It was now thicker and stronger compared to last month. A plain blue tunic covered his body whilst dark brown trousers covered his legs. If you forgot about the scars on Kili's skin you could almost believe that nothing had happened. That the nightmare of the past six months had never existed.

"Kili?"

His brother was muttering under his breath as he made the lion chase his 'flying' raven. At the light in Kili's eyes Fili was well aware of the tears in his. His brother still had a long way to go. But now there was hope that Kili could be mended. That Fili could help his younger brother. He still had no idea exactly what Kili had suffered and he hadn't really asked. He didn't want to push his brother too far in case they went back to square one. He didn't care how long it took. For Kili's sake he'd wait the rest of his life.

"Kee?"

His brother glanced up at him and Fili forced himself to smile.

"Thorin…he was wondering if he could come and see you today."

Kili froze and shook his head. Getting to his feet Fili forced himself to keep calm. After his talk with Kili he had assumed that his brother would feel more at ease about seeing Thorin. Kili had certainly been willing to see his mother. But Thorin was still excluded; his only contact with Kili was through Fili. And although Fili was still angry at Thorin for his part in all of this he knew that seeing his uncle would help convince Kili he hadn't betrayed them.

"Are you sure Kee?" He knelt by his bed and Kili licked his lips, "Thorin really misses you. He asks after you every day."

Kili nodded and Fili reached over and took his hand. It was trembling. Kili had been doing that a lot recently. Oin had put it down to the shock of everything that had happened.

"Do I have to see him?"

"No," Fili smiled, "No of course not Kee. I just wanted to ask that's all."

Getting to his feet Fili watched as Kili carried on playing with his toys. The sight reminded him of when the pair of them used to play together. They'd chase each other before 'attacking' one another with their toy animals. Wiping his eyes Fili nodded.

"Okay well I'm going to go and see him. Let him know how you are doing."

Fili hadn't even turned when Kili gasped. The toys dropped to the floor as Kili grabbed Fili's tunic and pulled him back.

"Please don't go. Please don't leave me."

The trembling was getting worse as Fili sat down and held his brother close.

"Kili…"

"If you go what's to stop Azog from taking me again?"

Leaning down Fili picked up the toy raven and the toy lion. Stroking the lions fur he sat them at the foot of Kili's bed so they were facing the door.

"Kee? Your raven and my lion are going to keep you safe. Nothing is going to get through that door without their say so. Is that okay?"

Kili paused before nodding. Ruffling his hair Fili got to his feet and hurried towards the door.

"Fili?"

"Hmm?"

"Please don't be too long."

Nodding Fili opened the door and entered the corridor. Taking a deep breath he turned and headed in the direction towards Thorins study. On the way several dwarves stopped him to ask how Kili was. Fili kept it as brief as possible. Not because he wanted to get away but because he had promised Kili he wouldn't be long. Thankfully most of them seemed to understand he didn't want to leave his brother and soon Fili found himself outside Thorin's door. Licking his lips he hurriedly knocked before opening.

"Uncle?"

"Fili," Thorin got up out of his chair and moved away from his desk. Shutting the door behind him Fili embraced his uncle who then led him to a set of chairs by the fireplace. Sitting down Fili sat back as Thorin poured him some tea. Only when his uncle had sat down did he start to talk.

"I did ask Kili if he'd let you see him…I'm sorry."

Thorin gave a sad sigh, "It's okay Fili. He needs to take things at his own pace. I can't blame him for not wanting to see me. Not when I was so hard with him before."

Fili nodded before taking a sip of his tea. Sitting back he braced himself for Thorin's questions.

"How is he?"

Fili nodded, "Getting better. Most of his injuries are healing well although I imagine the majority are going to leave scars."

"What about his state of mind?"

Fili set his tea on the carpet; knowing this part of the conversation would easily be the worst.

"I don't know. He doesn't have nightmares every night now. Just three or four times a week. His body still trembles and trying to get him away from any kind of cuddly toy is a big mistake."

Pausing Fili forced down his tears, "It's like he's a child again Thorin. Actually no, it isn't. At least when he was a child he laughed and joked. He was always smiling and talking. He made everyone's day that bit brighter. And now…now that's all gone."

As Thorin took his hand Fili looked up. Thorin forced a smile on his face.

"Three months ago we believed Kili was dead. That he had been taken from us forever. And now..? Now we know the truth. You must never give up hope Fili. In time I know he will get better. I know he'll be the Kili that we knew before this ordeal ever took place."

Fili nodded, he couldn't bring himself to place any doubt. Thorin was filled with enough guilt already. Fili couldn't bring himself to add to it. Instead he finished his tea.

Thorin nodded, "Has he told you…what happened to him?"

Fili shook his head, "To be honest I don't think I want to know Thorin. What he went through…no one should ever have to go through that."

"Has he given any reason why he won't see me?"

Fili bit his lip as Thorin ran a hand through his hair.

"I know I was hard on Kili. I know that…if I hadn't said those things to him none of this might have happened."

"It's not that. In fact I don't think Kili even cares about that anymore."

"Then what?"

Fili flinched at Thorin's voice. He had never heard his uncle sound so desperate for forgiveness. He rubbed his hands together.

"Kili…he was tortured because Azog wanted information about Erebor. And in the end Kili couldn't take the pain and he told him what he wanted to know."

"I don't understand what that has to do with it?"

"Don't you?" Fili's lid on his anger was starting to slip. For the sake of not scaring Kili he had been forced to keep his temper bottled up. But now he couldn't help himself.

"You always made Kili feel like he wasn't worthy to be your heir! And now – in his eyes – he's betrayed you to Azog. He think's you'll have him punished for breaking down under torture! He's terrified Thorin!"

Getting up Thorin placed a hand on Fili's shoulder and sat him back down.

"I don't know what to do Thorin. I want to help him but I don't know how!"

Thorin nodded, "Go back to your brother. In a few days I'll go and see Kili. Try to explain it all to him."

Fili nodded, "Very well. But I swear if you upset him I'll never let you see him ever again."

Thorin nodded, "If I upset him Fili I won't allow myself within two hundred miles of him."


When Fili got back to his room he found Kili sitting on his bed and not his own. Also his brother no longer had his toys in his hands but was instead staring at a small bundle of leather. Fili gently shut the door behind him.

"I'm back Kee."

Kili didn't do anything. Instead he glared at Fili who was staring at what his brother held in his hands.

"Kili?"

"You lied to me!" Kili choked, "You lied!"

"I..?" Fili's heart dropped as he saw what Kili was holding. It was the same leather restraints he had stopped Oin using all those weeks ago. He remembered shoving them under his pillow – intending to throw them away – and then he must have forgotten all about them. Shaking his head Fili inched closer to Kili who was sobbing quietly.

"Kili just listen to me for a second."

"You said I'd be safe. That nothing would hurt me."

"I was telling the truth," Fili knelt in front of his brother and took the restraints from Kili's hands.

"Kee…you had just hurt yourself and we had no idea if you would do it again. Oin said it was for your own safety but I stopped him," he held Kili's hands, "I stopped him from tying you up Kili. I would rather take my chances than see you bound again."

Kili nodded slowly and Fili could see a smile had crept onto his little brothers face.

"I didn't think you'd want that. I just saw them and…and it brought it back," he rubbed his wrists. The bandages were off but Fili could still see the scars from where the ropes had worn away the skin.

"I could see them leering at me as I was tied down," Kili gasped, "Those jeering smiles and cruel eyes."

Fili got up so he was beside his brother, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

"It's alright Kili. It's alright."


When the door opened Kili instantly looked up – expecting to see Fili. His brother had gone to see their mother and to bring him back some food. After the first couple of weeks of being sick after every meal Kili's stomach finally calmed down and he was now able to eat without being sick. Meat still unnerved him as he remembered Scar shoving that raw meat into his mouth.

As he saw the figure in the doorway Kili froze. He'd never seen his uncle look so pale and yet the very sight of Thorin sent shivers running through him. Kili drew his knees to his chest. It's had been three days since he'd last been asked if he wanted to see Thorin. He hadn't been ready then and he wasn't ready now. However, to his relief, Thorin seemed equally nervous.

"Kili…I..?" he licked his lips, "How are you?"

Kili gave a small nod and Thorin smiled before walking towards the bed and sitting down on the end. Kili lowered his head; wishing that Fili was here so that he would be strong enough to take whatever punishment Thorin was going to give him.

"I spoke to Fili earlier," Thorin's voice wasn't what Kili expected. He expected it to be harsh and cold. But instead all he could hear was love. Glancing up Kili saw tears forming in his uncle's eyes.

"He told me why you didn't want to see me."

Kili nodded and Thorin stroked his hair.

"I came to tell you that I'm not angry at you Kili."

"You don't mean that. You're always angry at me."

Thorin froze, "You honestly believe that?"

"I know you hate me. My being born almost killed your sister. I've never been the heir you've wanted. I've brought shame on our family and now I've betrayed them."

"No Kili. No you haven't betrayed anyone."

"But I told Azog…"

Thorin shook his head, "Kili when Azog first dragged you forward my first thought was that I would willingly give up Erebor and myself in exchange for your safety. This place might be our home but at the end of the day the safety of you, your brother and my sister will always be more important."

"But you wouldn't have talked. Fili wouldn't have. He'd have made you proud." Kili sniffed. He hated the fact that tears were coming. Thorin inched forward until he was sitting side by side.

"I can't say what I would have done because I've never been in your position. I don't know what you went through and I'm not going to make you tell me. But I know that you will always, always make me proud Kili. You survived being a prisoner of Azog for six months! And even before that I was proud of you. You fought back so many trials life threw at you and you always came out smiling. I've never shown you how proud I am of you. How much I love you and I am so very sorry for that."

Tears coursed down Kili's face as Thorin enveloped him into a gentle hug. Clinging to his uncle Kili buried his face to muffle his sob whilst Thorin rocked him back and forth.

"You haven't betrayed me Kili. You could never betray me."


Thorin couldn't have known it at the time but it words had a far greater effect than he could have imagined. When Kili woke the next day he somehow found it far easier to get out of bed. He was even washed and dressed before Fili was. Something that had never happened even before he had been abducted. Fili rubbed his tired eyes at him, mouth open in shock.

"Kili?"

Toying with his sleeves Kili shrugged. It was as though Thorin's words had lifted the final chain tied around his body. Suddenly the world looked a lot more brighter than it had done. He could still feel Azog's touch on him. But it didn't scare him the way it used to. As he waited for his brother to get dressed Kili eyed the door nervously. Could he..? Could he actually go out into the mountain? Fili would no doubt think so, but what if Kili was rushing things too much.

There was only one way to find out.

Fili had barely pulled his coat on when Kili was opening the door.

"Kili?"

"I was thinking of going to breakfast instead of having it in my room. Is that…would that be okay?"

He'd never seen Fili smile so much. His older brother linked arms with him and all but pushed him from the room.

"Kili…that would make my day!"

Blushing Kili allowed Fili to lead him down the corridor. As they walked other dwarves stopped and stared as they went past. Even though he understood why they were staring Kili couldn't help but shrink against Fili. His brother rubbed his arm encouragingly and as they went along Kili gave a few shy smiles to those that they passed. However, when they got to the doors that led towards the great hall he faltered. Fili hugged him close.

"Kili…don't force yourself if you don't want to."

Kili paused. Normally in Erebor everyone ate in the great hall together for breakfast and dinner. He knew today would be no exception. It would be so much easier for him to turn and walk away. But he couldn't let something like this beat him. Azog hadn't and neither would this. Kili nodded at Fili who pushed open one of the doors and together they stepped inside.

Everyone fell silent.

As the eyes of everyone rested on him Kili was tempted to turn and run straight back out. Fili tightened his grip on his hand and as he looked around the room Kili spied his uncle and his mother sitting at the high table. Even from his distance he could see the surprise and joy on their faces. Fili gave him an encouraging nudge and Kili forced his shaking feet to move.

The second he did everyone started clapping.

Kili had no idea who started it but within seconds the whole hall was clapping and cheering for him. Even Thorin was. Turning to his brother Kili shook his head.

"I…what have I done?"

Fili shook his head before pulling Kili in for a hug.

"You survived Kili. You didn't need to do anything else."

Nodding Kili allowed his brother to lead him through the rows of people. He caught glimpses of Dwalin and Balin. He caught sight of Bofurs' hat and it was hard not to miss Bomburs bulk. Blinking back his tears he went to slid into his seat between Fili and his mother. Underneath the table she took his hand.

"My beautiful baby," she smiled.

Kili nodded, sitting back as food was piled onto his plate. He knew he'd never manage it all but that didn't matter. He thought the cheering would go on forever when Thorin got to his feet and the noise slowly died. Thorin raised his glass.

"What we have all just witnessed is something that – several months ago we would have believed to be a dream. My youngest nephew has been through an ordeal worse than death and he has survived. He has come back to us. And for that I shall be eternally grateful."

He raised his glass, "To Kili."

"TO KILI!"

Aww so things are taking a turn for the better now! Thorin got to see Kili and everything's getting a bit lighter for us all. I still can't believe we only have a few more chapters until it's the end! Seems like yesterday I was posting the first chapter! Let me know what you think xxx