Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy The Vampire Slayer or Supernatural.


It had occurred to him about 2 or 3 hours ago that he might have been a little oversensitive about the room thing. Dean and Cas had spent the last few months together, so, of course, Dean was going to want to make sure that his friend was okay. Xander also hazily remembered Sam saying that he and Dean usually shared a room as kids and as adults too because it was cheaper than buying two rooms.

Xander stared at his decaf coffee hoping due to the fact that it was decaf eventually he would be able to fall asleep, but so far no such luck. Not many people were up at this hour and he found that he liked the kitchen a lot more when there wasn't 12 girls arguing over the last bowl of cereal of a certain flavor. Or pizza of a certain flavor…. or really they argued about everything. He sighed, he wished he could sleep but he couldn't. It wasn't about the room thing anymore. He was focused on his past, on his mom and Dad. What he had been avoiding thinking about for months he had been no longer able to push away.

Sam and Dean showed up a few hours later when the kitchen was in full swing. Dean looked around at the girls who were arguing and eating with a flirty grin. Sam elbowed him but Dean didn't stop. He heard Sam whisper.

"Dude, jail bait," Dean nodded and found him and made his way over to him. Dean and Sam sat across the table from him. Xander did his best to look like he had actually gotten some sleep. Too bad it wasn't true.

"Do you know which of these girls are legal?" Dean asked him. Xander stared at him for a long moment trying to process the question, because he couldn't sleep it meant that his mental factories weren't where they should be. It took him a long moment to grasp Dean's intent and instead of answering the question he just said

"They're slayers. They can break you in half without breaking a sweat." Sam shot a quick glare at Dean.

"He's kidding," Sam said then looked back at Xander. He was started to wonder if he maybe looked as crappy as he felt when Sam's eyes and Dean's eyes lingered on his face. His question might have come out better if he wasn't so tired but it came out as a sharp.

"What?" Sam looked at him with outright concern, Dean's was little more subtle but also still there.

"Are you okay man?" Dean asked. Xander closed his eyes and yet he still wasn't sleepy, but he was still exhausted. It was driving him crazy. Maybe he should try some pills or something. He usually avoided stuff like that because his mom had only been able to sleep with sleeping pills or drinking herself to sleep. He winced as he remembered his mother's death. Xander shook his head to clear the memory away and looked up and remembered the question.

"I'm good," he lied. It wasn't like he could just tell them. He hadn't even told them yet that his mother had just died. When he had answered before he had made it seem like it had happened a while ago.

"You sure?" Sam asked this time, and while it made him feel slightly warmer to have both of his brothers asking about his state of well being it didn't help that much.

"I probably just didn't sleep enough," he said which while it wasn't really a lie, it also wasn't the whole truth either. "I'll just have a nap later," he said then turned to them.

"So where's your angel?" he said not comfortable with calling the angel Cas outside of his head. He had never really been all that religious but being on a first name basis with an angel felt too odd for him.

"Adjusting," Dean said and Sam nodded. Xander nodded as well, that was good. Adjusting was good. He needed to adjust as well, maybe then he could sleep. Oh, sleep sounded so nice at the moment.

"He's been in purgatory for quite some time."

"You both have," Sam said looking pointedly at Dean. Dean just shrugged. Xander found himself yawning again and both Sam and Dean's eyes were on him as he did so, but neither of them said anything about it. He was grateful.

"So what's up with his clothes?" Xander asked thinking about how odd the combination of a trench coat and scrubs were.

"Uh, he's a big fan of the coat and well," Dean and Sam shared a look that Xander was too tired at the moment to even try to decipher.

"He spent some time in a hospital." Xander frowned.

"He's an angel I never met one before but I thought-"

"It wasn't physical so much as mental." Sam interrupted sounding a little guilty but also something else, grateful? He was too tired to try to figure out the second emotion. Xander frowned but decided he was too tired to delve too deeply into Sam's statement as well.

"Okay," he said. He'd ask about it later when he wasn't so tired. He folded his arms over each other and put them on the table and rested his head on top of them as he looked at his half brother's. They looked a lot more alert than he was, he was a little jealous of that. Again, he could see their concern about him and if he wasn't so tired he would probably appreciate it a lot more.

"You too should get something to eat," he said nodding at them his chin digging slighly into his arms as he did so. "Just remember if one of the slayers gets her hands on something first, don't try to wrestle it away," he said. It never ended well and he knew that from personal experience.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" Sam asked as he and Dean stood up. Xander shook his head, he wasn't hungry he was more tired.

"Alright, we'll be back soon," Sam and Dean left his line of sight and Xander closed his eyes. Maybe he was tired enough to fall asleep now? A few moments later he heard chairs scraping slightly across the floor and knew that his hope was in vain. He opened his eyes to find Sam and Dean sitting in front of him. Dean with Lucky Charms and Sam with some sort of healthy looking cereal that Xander would never go near. Xander must have made a face because Sam smiled.

"Yeah, Dean can't understand why I would eat healthy cereal either."

"It's evil. I'm pretty sure demons made it," Xander said. It was what he always said when Willow tried to make him eat something healthy. Sam and Dean both smiled at that, Dean more than Sam. Sam smiled as he purposely took a big bite of the healthy cereal. Dean in response took an even bigger bite of his spoonful of Lucky Charms. Xander pulled his head from off his arms filling slightly more energized with the mood at the table at the moment.

Sam looked between the two of them with a thoughtful look in his eyes.

"What's your favorite food?"

'Twinkies," Xander said. They were awesome! The sweet golden creme stuffed goodness, it was heavenly. Sam shook his head somewhat disapprovingly.

"Pie and Twinkies." Xander shrugged Willow also disapproved of his diet, but hunters had notoriously short lives and if that was the case he was going to eat whatever the hell he wanted. Dean gave a similar shrug and although he didn't say anything he had a feeling that he and Dean were both on the same wave length on that subject.

"Not everybody can love salads the way you do," Dean said. Sam rolled his eyes, apparently this was not the first time they had had this conversation.

"At least, I'm not going to have a heart attack from eating too many cheeseburgers." Sam shot back.

"Salad or cheeseburger?" Dean asked Xander. Xander thankfully didn't have to think much about it since he his brain wasn't exactly firing on all four cylinders.

"Cheeseburger, definitely cheeseburgers," Xander said. Dean smiled like he had won something and Sam rolled his eyes in response.

"Looks like I'm outnumbered," he said. as he ate another spoonful of the healthy cereal, "have fun with all the grease running through your veins." Dean and Xander looked at each other for a moment.

"I think I'm good with being 10% grease," Dean said and Xander nodded.

"Up to 20% is good for me too," Xander said with a slightly less tired smile. Sam rolled his eyes again and seemed to be pretending to ignore the two of them and continued doing so until he finished whatever his too healthy cereal was and went to go put his bowl away. While he was gone Dean turned to him and asked.

"Seriously, are you okay?" Xander smiled, he still wanted to sleep for ten years and was still unlikely to be able to. But this conversation, while it hadn't been all that enlightening had brightened his mood a bit. If he had been able to sleep it probably have done even more for him.

"Just tired," Xander said somewhat truthfully he added a non-forced yawn that highlighted it. Dean's expression was hard to read so Xander gave up after a few moments and Sam was back moments later. After a couple of moments of silence Xander managed to scrape up enough brain cells to ask.

"So what are your plans?" he asked them. Part of him was worried that after breakfast they would pack up and leave him in their dust. Thankfully, there was a large part of him that was too tired to take the energy to worry about that. Sam and Dean's eyes met and they had another one of their silent conversation that he couldn't decipher before Sam turned to him.

"Cas needs some time to adjust. So if it's okay with you, we'd like to stay here for a few weeks until he's ready to leave." Xander nodded, his chest slightly lighter at that news that he would feel happier about once he got some sleep.

"I'll ask Willow but I'm sure that it will be fine," Sam smiled his thanks and even Dean managed a half smile in thanks as well. Even in his tired state, he knew it was good news. Maybe they would take his mind off his mom for a little bit longer, or at least, make it so that he didn't think about her nearly as much.


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