Disclaimer: I do not own anything.A Death Wish
Five days past since Ed became ill, and had Al booked one more month in the motel using all his money. There was nothing left. Mine was to be used on food. Ed was fired from him job after calling in for a 5th time as sick. Al made me quit because there was no one left to stay home to take care of Ed, and Alphonse became the only one who worked. He worked hard and long hours, from 6 in the morning, all the way past ten at night. He was exhausted when he got home, and went straight to bed with out dinner.
As the days went on, Edward seemed to get worse. His fever was incredibly high in the mornings, and he would sleep until nine while I made breakfast for myself. Once he awoke, it would take me ten good minutes for me to persuade him to eat a piece of toast. After that, he would nap the next three hours as I continuously changed the wet cloth that hung from his head. Sometimes when I would run out in the middle of the day, I offered to buy him anything he liked, yet he refused everything. He wouldn't eat any of the soup I made, or drink any liquids. I told him the more juices he drank, the faster he would heal, though he just pushed the thought away. I checked his auto mail dozens of times a day, looking for some possible way it could be affecting him, but I found nothing wrong with it. He would pass out again around seven, skipping dinner and I wouldn't see those pale eyes of his again until the next day. I would fall asleep sitting up on the side of his bed, waiting for Al to wake me once he got home.
The days where long and hot as we began to enter the month of September. I didn't speak much through out the day, I had no energy to argue with Ed for him to eat his dinner and neither did he. Being stuck in the sick apartment caused me to feel depressed and worried. And the thoughts of my dream became clearer and clearer each day. It was an omen, and I knew it. But Ed would be fine, I knew he would. He was too strong to let anything happen, there was no possible way he would let himself die.
Plus here was one thing that gave me hope he would pull through. He had said he loved me, and I loved him. I heard it with my own ears, as we kissed under the moon light. He loved me. That's what he told me, but we hadn't spoken of that night since the fever.
It was on the sixth day of Ed's illness when he told me something horrible. It was late, he was tired and thankfully not as grumpy as usual. I was getting him a glass of water when I heard him laugh. Not really, 'laugh' but a slight giggle. I sighed, thinking he must be delusional. Either that or dreaming. As I began to walk over to his bed, he said something else in a rasp whisper. Then he said it again forcing me to stop dead in my tracks.
"See you soon, Mother..." He whispered again into the thick air surrounding him. He wasn't dreaming, we was wide awake.
"Ed, what the hell are you saying?" I asked horrified. His eyes drifted over to mine with out moving his head, He wasn't afraid to tell me, and I wished he was. His voice was so calm, every word he spoke sounded as if a little bit of energy washed away. As if he was a little more out of it each time.
"Winry your not going to believe this, right now I was talking to my mother. She was with me, and I am going to see her soon." No, he couldn't mean that. Was he serious? I let him continue. "In my life time, I have done everything I wanted to do for my brother. I fixed my mistakes, Win. Everything I have been able to do is complete. Did you know that when a person dies on this side of the gate, they become energy used for alchemist's in our world. And I was thinking, once you die on that side after your used as that energy, you must go to the heaven everyone on our side does. That's how I am going to see my mother again-"
"Don't talk like that Ed! Your going to be fine, your not going anywhere, we will figure out a way-"
"And then I can be happy. You and Al should follow me to our side again, too." He laughed. "It's kind of fun to think about it, I wonder what that person will be trying to create using alchemy when they use the energy I make. Maybe I'll be used in war to kill the enemy, or maybe I'll be used to save a life instead. Wow I can't believe I am talking about murder." He laughed again. "Or maybe I'll be used with human alchemy..."
I was horrified, he sounded crazy. Nothing like the Edward I had used to know. Ed was sitting here waiting to die. This was a living hell for him, all the depression he had been suffering had added up to a fever. And who knew if it was ever possible for him to recover with out will power. But what about me, and Al? What about his brother, Al? What about me?! Wasn't I enough to live for? Was everything he had told me a lie?
I wanted to cry, break down and crawl into a hole, but I wouldn't let myself. I had to be strong for him and hide my feelings; Just this once.
"Edward, everything is going to work out. Don't say things like that, especially if you know they aren't true. Right now you are alive. Your still alive... You still have so much to live for, Ed!" He closed his eyes, ignoring me. My words didn't mean anything, so why should I try? He didn't know it, but he was tearing me apart. Every word he said, killed me just a little bit. I loved him!
I thought I loved him, and I thought... I thought he loved me, too. But it was true. It wasn't long before I secretly realized that Ed's fever was very possible to be fatal.
xxx
Author's Note: Ed means every word he said about dieing, however the fever is causing him to be a bit delusional. That's why he's acting kind of strange and out of character...
