Hellooooo everyone! Yeeeaah, I know, I took forever to update but I'm sure you can understand the struggle of school! My hope for now, with Winter Break coming along, I will definitely have more time to write and update. But no, I have not forgotten about this story so no worries. For now, enjoy the next chapter!

Chapter 28: Night of Perfection

It was no use.

No matter how much she started to doze off, Saruna was opening her eyes to the same starry sky that she had seen merely minutes ago. She told herself over and over that she was tired, and by gog she was, but that was just the problem. Her mind would not shut off for her sake of rest and sanity. Anything and everything reeled through her thoughts, and they varied from if her psionics would work for her, to the upcoming battle against the trolls, to what her past could have been like, and whatever else slipped into her think pan. All of the thoughts were starting to give her a blistering headache. Lifting her body into a sitting position, Saruna rubbed her eyes and sighed when she heard Karkat and Terezi sleeping peacefully beside her. At least they were finally able to recharge their weary bodies… Saruna could only guess how little sleep they were able to get in their entire search for the crystal blue flower. Sollux was lucky to have friends like them.

While she was on the thought oh the Gemini troll, where was Sollux? He was nowhere around them she came to notice, after searching for him quizzically. Was sleep a fleeting action for him as well? Soundlessly, Saruna rose to her feet and rubbed her arms with a shudder. The air was a little chillier than it normally was tonight, she was certain she saw her breath faintly. Scanning the field with squinted eyes, Saruna pinched her lips together when she could barely make out anything but the dark shadows of the wide field. Did Sollux really have to wander off now, at this late in time? She lifted her left hand, and focused a ball of red into her palm for some light, hesitantly moving forward to seek out Sollux. The grass made little to no sound under her feet, the silence rather intimidating to the amnesiac. It was only then she saw a shimmer of red and blue in the direction of the lake, and she tiredly made her way towards it. Why, for heaven's sake, was Sollux using his psionics at this time?

The closer she came, the more she could see as she diminished her own light for the last remaining few steps. Sollux levitated in the air inches away from the lake, his three ninja stars spinning around him as he gracefully swayed his arms in meaningless, yet elegant waves. His back to her, she was conflicted about calling out to him lest she distract him completely and he tumble to the ground clumsily from surprise. At the same time, it bothered her that he was using his powers when he was supposed to be recovering, though witnessing his relaxed movements was proof that he was already doing better.

"So, you can't sleep either?" When his voice spoke up to her, Saruna jumped with surprise herself, the tables turned in an instant. Sollux chuckled as he rotated to face her, lowering to the ground and dropping his weapons. "Sorry, did I scare you?"

"Just a little." Saruna admitted. "I did not think that you heard me come over here. What are you doing anyway? You should be-"

"Sleeping?" Sollux completed her sentence, and darkness surrounded them as he ceased his psionics. The moon, stars and the brightness of their eyes were the only light, though Sollux's eyes were dulled behind his glasses. "You should be sleeping too, but neither of us can sleep apparently and here we are. Funny how that works, huh?"

Saruna snorted at him, laughing under her breath at his charming wit. She was quick to catch herself, leering at him seriously with every intention to scold him for exerting himself so late at night, but the words wouldn't come. Whether it was because she felt she had berated him enough or if she just didn't have it in her to yell anymore, she wasn't sure, but the longer she stared at him, the more awkward it became. Sollux restlessly shifted his weight onto his other leg and tilted his head at her curiously.

"So, what's on your mind?" He questioned her after a solid minute had passed in unbearable silence. "You look like you want to ask me something, but either can't or won't."

Now that he was asking, she honestly did have a question. Approaching it was a completely different story though, one that likely required great thought and coaxing. Ever since they had hastily distanced themselves, Saruna craved to know if Sollux had every intention to actually kiss her earlier that day, and if he did have that intention, did that mean he had red feelings for her? The query was so clear in Saruna's mind, but trying to inquire about it would allow her to open her mouth and nothing more. She was intimidated with asking it for the most part. If none of it was true, if this was just a severe fantasy that she imagined somehow, she would have to play it off as nothing to her when it meant everything. Her heart soared when she was with Sollux, her confidence bloomed when he was around, and gog she felt safe with him. Even without a past to remember, he had made her happy to be alive. Saruna was infatuated with him, more than she could express currently in her stupid pose of a shaking girl with thousands of questions running through her mind.

Sollux lifted an eyebrow at her and chuckled before snapping his fingers in front of her face, "Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Ah! I'm sorry…" Saruna ducked her head bashfully, rebuking herself mentally at how ridiculous she was being. This was Sollux she was speaking to! She could ask him anything in confidence… right? Her lips parted slightly before clamping together yet again, and she was eternally grateful when Sollux ran a hand through his hair and grunted when his fingertips grazed the bandages wrapping his head. He prodded at the bandages a few times before frowning.

"Do you mind taking this one off of me?" He asked Saruna, inching closer to her. "It's seriously annoying, and I'm sure my head is fine now."

"Oh, yeah sure." Saruna motioned him to turn around and take a seat on the ground, and once he settled himself, she sunk down behind him and carefully worked at the wrapping. The moment his head was freed from the layers of white, Sollux let out a long sigh of relief.

"Thank you." He said. "It felt like a major constriction on my head!"

Saruna cringed mentally, wondering if she had put them on too tight accidentally. She gently ran her fingers through his hair, flattened by the wrappings, and spiked it back up to her best ability. A few times she accidentally scraped over the scab formed on the back of his head and Sollux would hiss softly to alert her, causing her to pull her hands away slightly and apologize. He wasn't helping too much in the first place, leaning backwards into her hands like a happy little grub when she would get a rhythm going to fix his hair. There were a couple of times she swore she heard him purr ever so softly, though it also sounded like a hum similar to a bee buzzing for the most part. It was particularly endearing. When his hair reached a satisfying point to Saruna, she ceased her mindless grooming and was caught off guard when Sollux seemed to grunt in disappointment. While his hair was quite soft and fun to play with, Saruna wanted his attention, without any distraction. She lowered her gaze bashfully and allowed her words to come out.

"Sollux, I need to ask you something."

The Gemini troll perked and turned to face her with an inquisitive expression, "Yeah? What do you need to ask me?"

Her heart was suddenly pounding against her chest, nerves creeping back up and nearly consuming her. She swallowed, telling herself to just say it…!

Spill it out!

Ask away...!

"Earlier today Sollux, before Karkat and Terezi returned, were you going to kiss me?" She spoke very quickly and frantically, there was no telling if he even understood a word she had said. Almost immediately she wished she had chosen her words carefully, but there was no going back. However, his unanticipated silence justified her worries for a long time until he had a change in his attitude completely. The lack of light irritated Saruna now as she could not tell what Sollux was thinking nor see his expressions very clearly. Did she just make a grave mistake bringing this up? He rose to his feet and turned away from her.

"Saruna…" Why did he sound… saddened? This was going in the wrong direction, and Saruna almost didn't want him to continue for her sake of keeping her heart together. "If you really want the truth about that whole thing, then yes, I was going to kiss you."

Perhaps she should have perked with relief at that moment, but she remained as still as death. Sure, it was glorious to know that his intentions were to kiss her, however, with his voice so melancholy and regretful it almost hurt more than it helped. She was absolutely mortified.

"I honestly shouldn't have done it, but I just couldn't stop myself until KK came in…" Sollux pressed a hand against his forehead and sighed heavily, but Saruna was on the brink of tears. Did he regret his action or something? She waited for him to continue, letting his next set of words decide how she would feel about all of this. "Listen, I know I probably sound like a huge asshole right now, but let me justify my reasonings. You already know them for the most part though: Aradia and Feferi."

The twinge of anger and sorrow swelling within Saruna fizzled upon the mentioning of their names. She tried desperately to put herself in Sollux's shoes, to understand what he was feeling, but alas she would never be able to truly understand. All she could do was pity him for his grueling losses and question what more they had to do with him to make him like this. Rising slowly to her feet, Saruna somberly stared at his backside. Sollux shook his head, cursing lightly to himself as he dropped his hand from his face.

"The two trolls that I came to feel red for died either by my hand or because I couldn't protect them." He explained with repetition, turning to face her, but avoiding her eyes. "Both were dead shortly after we would barely begin a relationship. I am a Doom aspect, I heard them die before it happened. I just didn't know when it would happen, but I believed I was able to change the future with the knowledge… and I was wrong. It still happened, with me unable to do a damn thing!" Sollux's eyes gave off a fierce spark and Saruna flinched when he seemed like he would go on a rage of anger and regret. The powers died away as soon as they came though, and he calmed again. "I have not heard your voice Saruna, and I want it to stay that way. Whether I am just bad luck because I am a Doom player, I don't know, but I refuse to let it happen again, especially to you. Maybe I sound really stupid and ridiculous too, but I don't give a shit. You have to understand…"

Saruna did feel like she understood everything then, and she was happier than she could show. If her translation was correct, Sollux loved her, and he was only afraid to show her because he believed he was cursed to lose anyone he dared to love. His paranoia was set, though he didn't want it to be, with reason. There was only one day left, and their fates were not determined yet, Sollux had said so himself. Nothing would change from this… With the tenderness of a lusus, Saruna cupped his cheek in her palm and he froze in place, lifting his gaze onto her as occasional tremors ran through him from the chill in the air.

"I'm scared too," She whispered in a low tone. "But I do not want to have any regrets either. There isn't a lot of time left and I don't want to be torn on the battlefield with this question. So please tell me, Sollux, do you love me? Because I feel red and I want to be with you if we survive this fight. I know you're scared to lose me, like I am terrified to lose you, but if we watch out for each other we won't! Just because you are Mage of Doom doesn't mean… you can't harbor any feelings toward me. It will change nothing… The future is never set."

Saruna gasped softly as Sollux reached up and placed his hand over hers and when she felt his fingers graze her chin, she shuddered with delight, relishing his warm hand as it framed her cheek, "But how can you be so sure about that? How do you know that… by doing this we won't set the future to one we don't want?"

She smiled at him, "I don't know. I just believe that there is a future where we survive, even when we feel like their isn't. There is no point in worrying about it though. Nothing we do will help us see if we live or die. We have to live in the present… right now. I came to decide this only now to be honest." A light and tender giggle escaped her lips, enough to get Sollux to smile just a little. He let out a sigh, conflicted and distraught, but Saruna thought she could vaguely see a hint of happiness in him.

His lips parted, but he said nothing for what felt like forever. Once he spoke, however, Saruna's blood pumper gave a wild flutter, "Fine… I trust you. And to answer your first question, yes, I am flushed for you too, Saruna Kerida."

The world was right in Saruna's eyes in that moment as pure contentedness flooded her every sense. There was nothing else she wanted, nothing she desired that could make it better. She questioned the warmth slipping down her other cheek, and come to realize she was crying joyous tears. Is this what it was like to feel loved? To feel so elated that one could just fly? Sollux entwined his hand into hers, pulling it from his cheek and lowering them between their bodies. Even behind those damn glasses she could feel the emotion in his dual colored eyes, bearing deep into her. She couldn't take it much longer.

Using her free hand, Saruna cautiously it moved up to Sollux's face, brushing the tips of her fingers on the frame of his glasses. When he made no sudden movement, or declined her actions, she slid them off and held them precariously between her fingers. All she wanted was to see his fluorescent heterochromatic eyes, and behold the pure passion within them, and indeed, his half lidded eyes gazed fervently on her. She could discern his feelings for her in them and the tale they told sent shivers down her spine. He was finally at peace with the entire decision to tell her the truth… willing to face whatever may come from it in the end… and he really, truly, irrevocably loved her. Saruna could only handle so much wordless eye contact with Sollux. She longed for more…

"Kiss me, Sollux…" Saruna requested, great need filling every breathless word.

His lips curved into a cunning smirk and she blushed at how crazy she must have sounded, if not hopelessly lustful. Her worries were put to ease quickly as Sollux slowly and subtly leaned closer to her in acknowledgement to her request, and before she knew it they were almost in the exact same position earlier just before Karkat blared his and Terezi's arrival hours before. This time, however, no one was there to stop them unexpectedly, splitting them apart to catch their breath and avoid eye contact desperately with fast blood pumpers and awkward occasional coughs.

No, not this time.

Their warm breath mingled in the air, warming each other's lips in gentle, shaky puffs. Saruna tried to keep her eyes open to admire Sollux, to watch him and view him up close and personal, but it was a failed task for the both of them.

As their lips finally pressed together, they were lost in blissful satisfaction. It was their own solemn promise to each other; to guard each other, protect themselves, and love each other. Sollux released her hand and pulled at her waist, pressing her close against him almost hungrily. His glasses hazardously slipped from between her fingers as she tangled them into his hair gently, while her other hand mindlessly snaked over his shoulder and further helped keep her pressed eagerly against him, savoring the warmth radiating from his body onto her. Nothing could compare to the feeling of his lips pressing against hers passionately as he held her against him tightly, tenderly, lovingly. She had to admit, she didn't expect him to be such a good kisser, but gog she was so grateful for it and was happy to steal a few more from him.

There was nothing more she wanted. What more could either of them want? Just the two of them… beneath the light of the moon and stars, together without any disturbances or fears through the remainder of the night.

It was perfection in their eyes that they could only wish would last forever.