"People have been saying that our Sonic games are too cartoony and childish," announced Crew Member A.

"What? Didn't they see how many times we added 'Damn' in Shadow the Hedgehog?!" spouted the Head Director.

"They say with characters like Charmy and Amy in it, it really loses its edge," addressed Crew Member A.

"I have an idea!" said Crew Member B. "Let's play Mario Party 8."

-After Mario Party 8-

"Great idea, Crew Member B. It was Wiitastic," said the Head Director.

"But we still have to take care of the 'too cartoony' problem," said Crew Member A.

"Oh, let's just add more angst and disorders to the cheery characters and see how the audience reacts."

--

Hey kids, Sonic's back for an all-new adventure.

-Scene 1-

"You won't get away this time, Sonic!" yelled Eggman.

"C'mon. C'mon. Shoot at me so I can feel some excitement!" said Sonic.

-Scene 2-

-Sonic is seen running past Amy-

"There goes my only beloved. Never to stop and greet me. Never to love me with the passion I have gave him. My heart beats in agony every time he passes me by. I will not follow him, I will sulk. Thou doth have forsaken me, Sonikku..."

-Scene 3-

Knuckles comes running up, "Charmy, we need to..."

"What's so charming about being a bee?" said Charmy. "I lay awake at night wondering why I should be so peppy and happy. My mother died while fending off an attack from a bear. What do I have to be happy about?"

-Scene 4-

"Yeah, they call me Cream, and so what if I'm a little fat?!? I loved ice cream when I was little. Nobody told me it would make me a whale when I grew up. I just want to die. Please don't save the world this time, Sonic."

Sonic Angstventure - Coming to shelves sometime after therapy is over.

-Scene 5-

"Hi, Cream."

"GET THAT CAMERA AWAY FROM ME!!" -sob-