Summary: Stone Soup, Death Note style. Two soldiers need some food for the day, and L has just the way to get their meal.

Spoilers: Uhhh...I don't think there are any...

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata do) and most of these fairy tales belong to Hans Christian Anderson or the Brothers Grimm. Aka, not me.

Warning: Childish and stupid humor along with some OOC-ness

A/N: Why did I not update on Friday? Because I'm lazy, that's why. Expect updates to get a little more unpredicatable, because I'm going into highschool soon and I don't know how much homework I'll have.

I know I have other suggestions to get to, and I'll get to them eventually, but an anonymous reviewer (chibiarie) mentioned this one and I freaking LOVE this story. This is one of my favorite stories ever, but I didn't think of it until chibiarie brought it up. And I couldn't resist the opportunity. I don't know if it turned out too funny or anything, but I just plain love this story, so whatever.

Oh, by the way, this one is a sort of continuation of Triple Tales (Chapter 25, I believe) so it's in about that same setting, for the beginning. (Another story within a story. I hope no one hates these or anything.)

So, enjoy! (At least, I hope you enjoy it. 0.0 And this is another one that I didn't check over, so I apoligize in advance if there are any typos or anything.)


"Light-kun!" L called out, catching the attention of a certain brunette. The detective shuffled into the room, while a group of kids followed behind him. "Light-kun, the children want a story before bed again. They have promised that they will sleep after one fairy tale. I have completed this negotiation, so Light-kun must read the story."

Sighing, Light shook his head and waved them over. "Fine. I'll make up a short fairy tale."

The kids eagerly sat on the carpet in front of him, and L took a seat near the back while Light cleared his throat and began his story.

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named L. She was very beautiful and hot, but a certain blonde supermodel dragon was jealous of the princess's extreme hotness, and so she locked poor L in a tower. A week later, a handsome and very sexy knight was riding by and he decided to rescue the princess. So he went forward and slew the jealous dragon and rescued the princess. They all lived happily ever after. The end."

Silence fell upon the room, before L piped up from the back.

"Light-kun, that story was terrible," commented the detective, earning a scowl from the storyteller. "I will go find a story off the shelf, because Light-kun obviously doesn't want to help me."

And with that, L stood up from his spot, snatched a random book off the shelf, and took a seat on the couch next to Light.

"Once upon a time..." he began as all the children leaned forward in anticipation.

"There were two brave soldiers just walking away from a finished battle. They hadn't eaten in a day or so, but they hoped to find some food and perhaps a bed in the village they saw up ahead.

But the villagers in that village panicked. They didn't have a lot of food, and they certainly didn't want to give away what they had to some random soldiers.

So they ran about frantically like chickens with their heads cut off, hiding and storing the food in various places so the soldiers wouldn't find it. Then they peeked out their windows cautiously, dreading the arrival of the two soldiers...

"Light-kun, up ahead," stated one of the two soldiers walking up the road. "There's a village. We can get some food there."

"I don't know..." Light replied, looking unsure. "It looks small and empty. What if they don't have any food to spare?"

Rolling his eyes, L simply continued walking and leading Light along for the ride. "Light-kun should not doubt my abilities in the way of gathering food."

"Pfft. Of course I'll never doubt those. Remember that one time when–"

"Light-kun will cease speaking and never mention that incident again."

"Right..."

By that point, they had reached the village. The entire place was deserted, so they walked over and knocked on the door of the nearest by house. The door opened just a crack, and an eye peeped through the small opening.

"Excuse me," L began, putting on his adorable innocent eyes. "We're two soldiers just back from battle, and we have nothing to eat. Do you have anything to spare?"

The person behind the door shook their head and slammed the door shut. It went about the same at the next house. And the house after that. And for all the houses in the village. No one had any food or beds to give the two poor soldiers.

But what really confused Light was how unfazed L was by this. He would have expected his partner to have broken down a few doors and stolen food by now. Or at least threatened someone.

But no. L seemed perfectly calm in the situation.

"Well then, Light-kun," L announced in a voice so loud that the whole village could hear. (That was about the time when Light's brain clicked in and realized that L had a plan.) "It's a shame that we can't get any food, so we'll just have to make rock soup."

Light watched with a look of amusement as some of the villagers poked their heads out their doors, staring at the two soldiers.

"Oh, really? That's great!" Light replied, putting on a fake grin. "I haven't had your delicious rock soup in a while! I'm really fond of the taste, you know."

"Of course you are, Light-kun," L said, smirking back at him. "Now be a good little lackey and sit still. I'm busy."

Light pouted and sat down, while more and more people stepped out onto their front porches to watch. After all, if one could make soup from rocks then they would never starve!"

L turned to one of the villagers, putting on a polite smile. "Do you have an iron pot I could borrow? I'll share the soup with you all if you'll lend me one."

Immediately, that villager nodded and dashed back into the house, returning shortly with a huge iron pot. (And out of the hope for some soup, the villager had also filled it up with water.)

L smiled, taking the pot and setting it down before starting up a fire. A few minutes later, the pot was hanging above the fire and starting to boil.

The soldier reached into his pocket and pulled out a clean, smooth rock that he kept for emergencies just like this. He dropped the rock right into the pot, and everyone watched it splash into the water.

Grinning, L stirred the pot with a stick, sighing happily as a relaxed expression took over his face. He stared up at the sky, spacing out a bit. All according to plan.

"Salt and pepper would go very nicely with this," he stated, looking into the pot. "It's a shame no one has any..."

"I...I think I might have a little salt and pepper..." mumbled one of the women in the town.

L looked over at her with an 'oh, really?' expression, and waved her off. "Fetch it then, please."

She scurried off into her home and retrieved some salt, rushing back out and handing it over to the soldier/chef.

L accepted it with a short 'thank you' before tossing some salt and some pepper into the bowl. He smiled, pretending to smell a particularly delicious smell from the bowl. Light walked over as well, and joined in on the trick.

"Remember that one time we had stone soup with some vegetables, too? That was fantastic! A soup truly fit for a rich man!" Light stated with a small smirk in L's direction.

"Light-kun is not the chef here. I will decide what goes in the soup," L scolded, whacking Light's hand with the stirring stick. He looked around at the villagers, taking in their expressions. "I do think the soup would be much better with vegetables, though. It's just too bad there are none around..."

As if on cue, a bunch of the villagers ran into their homes to grab some veggies, eager to try this supposedly fantastic soup. None of them noticed when L and Light high-fived each other, grinning evilly to themselves.

About five minutes later, the vegetables were carefully stewing in the pot under L's watchful eyes, and the soup actually was starting to produce a tantalizing aroma.

Light smiled, and decided to speak his opinion. "I think–"

"No one cares what Light-kun thinks," L interrupted, causing Light to glare. "However, I think this soup would be even better if we had a little meat to go in it. It would be good enough to be served to a king! But I suppose if you don't have any..."

Without even hearing the rest of the sentence, some of the villagers ran back into their homes and soon brought back some beef. It was cut into chunks and tossed into the pot.

This continued for a few other ingredients, including some bread and wine to go along with it. And by that night, the entire village had a great feast of L's rock soup. The rock was removed from the pot, and L re-pocketed it. Everyone except L ate well. (L passed, saying he preferred sweets.)

Later on in the night, while L was sitting off to the side and watching as some of the villagers happily danced, a young boy came up to the soldier to ask a question.

"Hey, Mister..." the boy began. "How did you make such good soup from a rock? Is it a magic rock?"

"Oh, the rock?" L asked lazily, reclining back in the seat he'd been given. "It wasn't really the rock. No magic at all."

The boy's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yeah. The rock was just so I could trick you all into giving me food to make a soup so Light-kun wouldn't complain about how hungry he was for our walk back to the soldier base."

Blinking, the boy nodded, understanding. "It was good soup. Can I try that sometime?"

L glanced down at the boy, thinking it over. "I'll give you the rock if you'll give me a bag of sugar."

The child nodded and brought back the requested object. The exchange was made, and all were happy.

On the way back, Light inquired where L had gotten the sugar from.

"It was magic, Light-kun," L replied. "My magic rock got it for me. By the way, I see a very nice stone by that lake over there. Go fetch it for me."

The book was slammed shut as all the children cheered. L got up to replace the book on the shelf while asking, "So what was the moral of the story, Light-kun?"

"Sharing is important in a growing community!" the teen answered.

"Wrong," L said, already getting the kids up and starting towards the bedroom. "If you can trick stupid people well enough, you will never go hungry."

"That's not a good moral."

"It works though, Light-kun. In fact, go get me a rock. I'd like to start carrying one around with me. Just to be safe."


A/N: I love this story. It's so darn cute. Yay for Stone Soup! Rocks can solve all problems! (Hey! That's another moral!)