See the AN in the first chapter for the whole explanation.


For: Azrael

Prompt: Theft

Rating: T

Music: 'Was It You?' by Spoon, off the album 'Gimme Fiction'

Notes: Don't ask… just… don't.


"Theft"

The sky was dark, rain pelting against the windows as I sat in my makeshift office. I needed to do some fast thinking; before the thief got away. Trouble was, I had seven suspects and no clues, nothing to go on but my eyes and my ears and my intuition.

This was going to be tough.

...

I started off with the lady of the house; if anyone were to know anything, it'd be her. She was a broad to watch out for; she'd as soon con you as look at you, and that's if you're lucky.

She sat in the chair across from me, crossing her legs and placing her hands in her lap. "What's this all about?" she demanded with authority that was only half false bravado.

"Never mind that," I waved her off. "The less you know, the better."

"Well, that's not at all suspicious," she shot back, keeping her voice bored. She's interested, though, even if she doesn't want to show it.

"I called you in here, Ms. Cooper," I began and she quirked an eyebrow at me, "to clear you."

"Clear me?" she asked. "Clear me of what?" When I shake my head at her, she sighed. "Right, 'the less I know'."

"All I need from you is what you've done today."

"Alright," she drawled, narrowing her eyes. "I woke up…"

"At what time? Please, be specific, Ms. Cooper."

"I woke up at six-thirty. I ate breakfast." She held up a finger before I could ask, and continued on. "Orange juice and cereal. Lucky Charms. With milk. I had the last bowl. Then I went to the NewMatch office and talked to the surveyor. Do you need to know the specifics of rebuilding?"

"No, thank you, Ms. Cooper. You may go."

"Alright."

...

Rain lashed against the window, ribbons of water running down its clear surface. So far I had nothing, but I was only one suspect in. I figured it was best to question the daughter next, just in case they were working together. I couldn't give them time to get their stories straight.

...

"So what's this all about? Mom just told me you were being – quote – 'really creepy'."

"I just want to ask you some questions, Miss Cooper," I said, leaning forward to rest my elbows on the desk. She snorted when I used her last name, but leaned back in the chair and folded her arms. "Tell me, what did you do this morning? And please, be as specific as possible."

"This morning?" She narrowed her eyes at me in a perfect mirror of her mother. "Why? What does my mom think I did?"

"Nothing. Please, Miss Cooper, your morning?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes, but answered. "I was out 'til one and I slept 'til ten. Then I woke up and you said you needed to talk to me."

"So you just got up and came here?" I questioned, leaning forward further. "You didn't stop to eat breakfast or talk to anyone?"

"Nope." There was a challenge in her eyes, but I let it go, dismissing her with a wave of my hand.

...

The Coopers could be in it together, but now I think they're not. Miss Cooper made it very clear with her comment; the one about her mother wanting to know what she'd been doing last night. These dames may be guilty, but I'm not sure it's for the crime I'm investigating.

...

"Took you a while to get in here," I challenged the boy as he sat in the chair opposite of me.

"Yeah, I was out running so I needed a shower," he shrugged, seemingly unaware of any wrongdoing that had occurred here. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering what you were doing this morning?" I made nice with the boy; I didn't want to rile him up. I needed to keep him talking before he figured out something was wrong and closed up.

"Um, I don't think I have anything planned. Why? Did you wanna do something?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. Did he intentionally misinterpret the question or was it simply an innocent mistake? "Maybe. But I mean before this, what did you do?"

"Uh, I went for a run," he looked at me like I was crazy.

"In the rain?" I challenged, finding a flaw in his story.

"Yeah. I got up at five so I could beat it."

The rain hadn't started until seven, so that part of his alibi checked out. "Did you eat breakfast?"

"Yeah, Taylor made me eggs after I got back."

"And what time was that?"

"Seven, maybe? I dunno, but Julie was there while Taylor was cooking."

I nod, tapping my fingers on the desk. His story is all clear, except for one thing. "So you woke up at five, ate breakfast at seven, and you didn't take a shower until now? Three and a half hours later?"

His eyes widened in panic and he averted his gaze. Aha! I'd caught him; the culprit was right in my hands. Or at least I thought so, until he spoke again.

"Taylor and I… hung out before I took my shower," he mumbled to the floor.

...

Three suspects down and little to go on. So far Mr. Atwood's story coincided with Ms. Cooper's. The other Miss Cooper's hasn't had any witnesses, but there's no reason for me to think she's the one. I paced my makeshift office before letting the next one enter.

...

"Good morning," she smiled brightly at me and sat down in the offered chair.

"Miss Townsend," I greeted cheerfully, altering my approach to fit my needs. "Good morning."

"Ryan said you wanted to talk to me?" she asked warily, cheeks flushing red. "About what I did this morning?"

"Yes, in detail, please." I gestured for her to talk, but she gaped at me.

"In detail?" she whispered in horror, flushing bright red.

"What time did you wake up, what did you have for breakfast," I prompted and she sighed in relief.

"I woke up around seven, I think. Ryan was out running, so I wanted to make him breakfast."

"And did you?"

"Eggs and bacon, with coffee. Black. I talked to Julie a bit; she had to go talk to someone about rebuilding the NewMatch office after the earthquake."

"And then what did you do?"

"Um… Ryan and I… watched TV in his room for a couple hours…" Her story was full of lies, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the truth was. They hadn't been watching TV – had they been planning the crime? "Then he went to take a shower and I came downstairs to watch TV with Kirsten. Then you called me in here."

"Thank you, Miss Townsend."

...

So far Ms. Cooper's story was strong, no holes. Miss Townsend and Mr. Atwood's stories check out, too, but they could be in on it together. The only solution was to wait and interview the others.

...

She was a classy dame; beautiful. She always had been, and I reminded myself not to get distracted by it. She could be dangerous, that I knew. Her beauty was merely a front, covering the ruthless woman underneath.

"What's going on?" she asked with a smile, one hand resting on her stomach, bulging with child.

"Kirsten," I addressed her by her first name; we knew each other well enough for that. "Could you just tell me what you've done today?"

"Well, I was supposed to go to NewMatch, but Julie said she'd go, since she's less pregnant. So I slept in, but you know that. Then I got up and had breakfast, then I watched TV with Taylor."

"What did you have for breakfast?" I asked casually and she smiled at me.

"Lucky Charms."

"Thank you."

...

Only two more suspects to question. I had to watch out for these two, they could be in cahoots. They did everything together, so it only made sense to question them together.

...

"What's goin' on, daddy-o?"

"Yeah, this is totally cutting into our Briefcase or No Briefcase time."

I observed the two for a while, watching for any signs of guilt. "I was just wondering," I started, "what you two did this morning."

"Well," the boy started, trying to rub some orange dust off his shirt, "we got up, Summer made some Toaster Strudel."

"Yeah, then Jerry Springer came on, and since BONB doesn't come on till eleven, we watched that."

"Then you called," the boy finished for his girlfriend, who nodded.

I was right, they were a team, working in tandem. But from the state of their dress and their laid back attitude, I knew it wasn't them.

"Alright, thank you," I nodded at them, and they nodded back.

...

That was it, all my suspects. And it may seem like I hadn't gotten any closer to identifying the suspect, but I had. I knew the culprit, and now it was just a matter of justice.

...

"Alright," Ms. Cooper huffed, "what's this all about."

"Uh, yeah, BONB is on right now."

"Yeah, and it may be a rerun, but I kinda forget what happened, so I need to see it again."

"Please, people," I held up my hands to silence the room. I brought them all to the kitchen – the scene of the crime.

"Sandy," Mr. Atwood started, "what's going on?" Next to him, Miss Townsend nodded, still blushing slightly.

"A crime," I said, coming out with it finally. "A theft."

"A theft?" Miss Cooper rolled her eyes and sighed. "Dude, this is so lame."

"I've questioned you all," I reminded them, ignoring the young girl's outburst. "And all of your stories check out, except one." There was looks all around, some confused, some accusing. "I'll start at the beginning."

"Please do," Ms. Cooper sighed.

"At one o'clock this morning, the young Miss Cooper comes in from a night out with – I assume – the Ward boys." At this, the girl nodded, and her mother shot her a look, but I continued before she could say anything. "Then at five, Mr. Atwood wakes up to go for a run, before the rain starts." A nod from the boy I had adopted, and I continued. "Seven is when things really start to roll. Miss Townsend wakes and goes downstairs to make breakfast, where she meets Ms. Cooper. Miss Townsend made eggs and bacon while Ms. Cooper had the last bowl of Lucky Charms."

At that point I knew I had the culprit, and the culprit knew it too.

"Mr. Atwood arrives home," I continued, "to eat and Ms. Cooper leaves for NewMatch. Then Miss Townsend and Mr. Atwood leave the kitchen. At some point around this time, Miss Roberts and my son wake up and have Toaster Strudel in their room and watch Jerry Springer. Also around this time, my lovely wife wakes up and comes downstairs to have breakfast." The blonde met my eyes and I smiled at her. "She told me she had a bowl of Lucky Charms but I know from Ms. Cooper, whose story is corroborated by that of Miss Townsend, that the last bowl of Lucky Charms had already been eaten."

"Your point?" Ms. Cooper asked, getting impatient.

"My point," I informed them all, staring at my wife. "Is that Kirsten was lying. So I know it was you who ate my last bagel."

"Fine," the blonde sighed, "you caught me."

"What?" Mr. Atwood asked, looking over at me. "That's what this is about?"

"Are you serious?" Miss Cooper lamented, standing up and leaving the room.

"Yeah, I'm going up to watch TV," Miss Roberts stood and left, followed by my son.

"I wish I could drink," Ms. Cooper muttered and left as well.

"We're going," Mr. Atwood stood and took his girlfriend's elbow, pulling her out of the room.

"I don't get it," the girl protested as they left, "couldn't he just ask us if we ate his bagel?"

Finally it was just me and her – my wife, the thief.

"So what are you planning on doing with me, officer?" she mocked, quirking her eyebrow.

I paused and looked at her.

Damn.

I should have thought of a consequence.


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