Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm worrying that I'm overstepping boundaries. Can you let me know if I am or not? I'm just nervous when I post material like this. Thank you all so much for the wonderful support you have all given my fanfics, I just wanted to say a big thank you to all. Thank you! Enjoy this chapter. I'm in a good mood as I got some bright blue glasses today. I can see my screen!

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All mistakes are my own

Reid felt empty as he came away from Morgan. He took a drag from his cigarette and began to rock gently. He brushed tears away from his tear-stained cheek. He hated himself and he felt like he could never go home. His mind wouldn't let him forget the bruises or the look in her eyes when he had asked her how far he'd gone. She must have been so scared when she couldn't escape. No matter how many times Luna had told him it was okay, he knew it wasn't. He had raped her and he didn't even remember doing it. He had become exactly like Jason Mordo. He knew how it felt, being trapped beneath someone while they used you and never stopped. "Morgan, I-I can't go home."

"Why?" Morgan asked carefully.

"I won't risk hurting Luna again. I'm just going to stay away. I can still see Penny. I love Luna and I can't face what I did to her. I know the fear you feel when you're trapped and being used. I must have put my hand over her mouth because she has bruises on her chin and cheek."

"You had no control," Morgan said. "Luna is now worried out of her mind about you and she just wants you to come home. She knows that it wasn't you hurting her. It was the monsters in your nightmare that hurt her. You can't run away from this. You have built up a life and Luna loves being with you. She doesn't want to lose you. We can take you to the doctor again and get something stronger. Something that will put you in a deep sleep at night. Hell, we can even handcuff you to the bed. Just don't run away. Luna can't lose you."

Reid looked at his cigarette in his hand. He quickly put it to his skin and felt it burn his arm. Morgan grabbed his hand and the cigarette. He threw the cigarette away and inspected Reid's arm. "Jesus, Reid. Why the fuck did you do that?"

"I deserved it!" Reid shouted. "I deserve a thousand more after what I did to her."

Reid yanked his arm away from Morgan and got to his feet, he began making his way back to his car. Morgan followed after him and grabbed his elbow. He got shoved away as Reid pushed him. "Leave me alone!"

"No!" Morgan snapped at him. "Luna needs you. She needs you because you are love of her life and she is yours. She understands the pain you went through. She may have felt a little scared but she doesn't blame you. You can't control what you do in that state."

"How can I go back to her and pretend nothing happened?" Reid yelled. "How can I ever touch her again knowing that I hurt her? She deserves someone who will love her and never leave a bruise on her."

"She deserves not to get abandoned," Morgan said. "Don't make her go it alone again. She's happy with you and what happened, can get better. You got a condition and it can get treated and managed. Just don't run."


Luna sat on the couch of the living room. Garcia had come over and had taken Penny out for the day. Luna needed some time to think. She pulled back her sleeves to look at the bruises. Her mind flash back to the night before.

"Spencer, stop it. No! Wake up!" she yelled at him as he managed to get under her nightie.

She winced as he began but tried to get him wake up. "Spencer! Stop it! Please!"

He pinned her wrists with one hand and put the other over her mouth. She felt scared but looked at the ceiling as he continued. She flinched each time he said something horrible.

"Show you how it feels, you fucking bastard. Let you feel the pain, you prick."

She snapped out of the memory and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. It wasn't him that had hurt her. His eyes were half closed the entire time but he had a dead look in his eyes. Her Spencer wasn't present when the incident happened. She didn't blame him and all she wanted was to hold him and tell him that it wasn't his fault, she just wanted him back. She was more upset that he had run out of the house.

It was an hour later when she heard the familiar sound of the Dodge's engine outside. She stood up as the door opened. Spencer walked into the house and walked straight to the bedroom. He grabbed a bag and began to shove clothes into it. Luna came in.

"Spencer, what are you doing?" she said as she tried to go near him. He moved over slightly.

"I'm not running and I'm not leaving. I just need to give you time to deal with this. I know, deep down, that you know how horrific last night was. I pinned you down, stopped you from calling for help and forced myself on you. I don't remember doing it but I can't ever forgive what I did."

"I forgive you," she said as she grabbed the bag and threw it across the bedroom. "Don't go. Please, baby. I love you and I can't watch you walk out of this house. We have a family and we can do things to stop it happening again. Don't go! Don't run, please."

Reid went to her and cradled her face. She didn't flinch at his touch. He kissed her on the lips and then kissed the bruises. His eyes watered. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Please, forgive me. I love you and I hate myself for hurting you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He kept repeating 'I'm sorry', over and over as he held her face in his hands. He sank to his knees and hugged around her stomach. "Please forgive me."

She stroked her hands through his hair.

"It's okay. I forgive you. I forgive you and I always will."

Her eyes wandered down and saw a nasty looking burn on his arm. She knelt to face him and took his arm. "Baby, what is this?"

"I had a few cigarettes. Morgan came and found me. I burned myself but he yanked my hand back."

She held his arm. "Why did you burn yourself?"

"I hurt you and caused you pain. I deserve more than a burn. I deserve so much more pain after what I did to you."

"This is harder to forgive," Luna said as she looked at the burn. "I hate that you would harm yourself and think you deserved it. I forgave what happened last night, that was easy because I knew it wasn't you. You were in control when you burned yourself. It's harder to forgive you for hurting yourself."

"I'm sorry," he said as he hugged her. "I just thought I deserved it."

Luna didn't say anything, she hugged him back and stroked his hair.

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me," Reid said as he laid on her shoulder. "I don't want to lose you or hurt you."


Reid laid in bed, he had wanted to sleep on the couch but Luna had said no. He laid there awake as she slept, he looked down and saw the handcuff around his wrist with the other cuff connected to the bed. He closed his eyes, afraid of what would happen.

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