Chapter Twenty Eight
Both of them stood in silence, the only sound in the room being that of Chloe's heart monitor, beeping away. Clark couldn't get his thoughts to align properly, his head felt like it was spinning and he to sit down.
"How…uh…when did…okay, you're gonna have to explain this to me. Because I'm having a really hard time here, Lois. You're pregnant!"
"I got that news flash, thanks." she said sarcastically, sitting back down in her chair. She rested her hands over her bump as she watched Clark's face go through all sorts of emotions. Shock, disbelief, confusion. Then finally it settled on disappointment.
"I didn't realise that you'd moved on so quickly." he said, more to himself than to her. It was like a punch to the stomach, realising that she had someone else in her life now.
"What are you talking about?"
One corner of his mouth tilted up into a sad smile. "I really blew it with you, huh?"
"This isn't really the time to talk about this Clark. I'm here for my cousin." she said, and for the first time since he'd seen her that morning, she wasn't looking at him with hatred. But it wasn't exactly loving either.
"So when can we?" he asked.
She kept her gaze on Chloe, a little too much, he thought. She was purposefully avoiding looking at him. "When can we what?"
"Talk. About this." She still wouldn't look at him and he was getting increasingly frustrated. "Lois!"
"I don't know!" she yelled back. "Okay? My head is all over the place at the moment, you show up out of the blue, after I told you I never wanted to see you again, you tell me my cousin's practically dying and then you expect me to sit here and talk? I just need a minute to catch up here Clark."
Clark sat on the edge of his seat, refusing to allow her off the hook. "Is the baby mine Lois?"
"What?" she asked, shocked.
His eyes bored into hers, demanding her complete attention. "How far along are you exactly?"
Realising he wasn't going to give up anytime soon, Lois sighed. "Five and a half months."
"But you've been gone for five months." Clark said quietly, doing the math in his head. "Then that would mean…"
Lois waited for him to make the connection. Eventually, as all the colour drained from his face, she knew that he'd worked it out. "This is my baby?"
Lois felt a momentary pang of guilt. "I never wanted you to find out this way, Clark. For that I am sorry."
"Sorry? You're sorry? How could you not tell me about this?" he said, his voice rising.
"Oh you really want to get into the whole keeping secrets thing right now?" she shot back.
But he wasn't backing down on this. "I can't believe you would do that! Do you know how long I've wondered if I would ever be able to have this? To have a child of my own?"
Lois looked down at her hands and he had to get up and walk over to the window to calm himself down. He couldn't believe it. He was going to be a father and she hadn't even told him.
"Were you ever going to tell me?" he asked quietly after he'd regained some composure.
Lois looked surprised that he'd even ask her that. "Of course I was. But I needed time, Clark." He spun around, hurt and anger showing on his face.
"I know what I did was bad, but I never thought you could hate me this much."
Without waiting for a reply, he crossed the room and walked out into the hallway.
Lois looked at Chloe, feeling terrible. "I guess I had that coming huh?"
Bracing his arms against the railing on the wall, Clark forced his anger back. The most important thing to remember here, was that he no longer had to worry about never having a child with a human. But then, that alone raised all sorts of questions.
Obviously Lois was doing okay, since she didn't appear to be having any problems and she looked healthy enough. He rubbed at his chest again, that sore ache would not go away.
Who are you kidding Clark, she looks as gorgeous as ever. Only now, more so.
Pregnancy seemed to suit her. He was going to be a father, but he still wasn't getting what he'd always wanted the most. A real family. At best, he would be raising this child with Lois, as separate parents, and that hurt. Worst still, would she still want to live in Colorado, or would she move back here? He simply didn't know.
"Clark…" Lois came out of the room, looking guilty. Well, she should, he thought. "I am sorry. I never meant to keep it from you for this long, believe me on that. But everything got so messed up. I didn't know what to do myself. I panicked, and I ran."
Something about the way she said that sent alarm bells ringing in his head. "Lois, when you first found out that you were pregnant, you didn't…think of…"
Her eyes went as wide as saucers, right before she turned an angry shade of red. "How could you even think that? Let alone ask me that!" She stormed away, down the hall and he knew that he should go after her, but he couldn't. Not yet. Not until he'd gotten his head around this. It was one heck of a bombshell.
Early the next morning, Clark was finishing up a few last minute chores on the farm, but his mind was on other things. Something that Jonathan had noticed very early on.
"Something bothering you, son?" he asked as they loaded the last of the hay onto the tractor trailer.
Clark wondered if he should tell him, but at the moment, until he'd had a chance to speak to Lois and sort things out, he just couldn't. So he opted for the next best thing. "Lois is back."
Jonathan nodded, understanding. "How is she?"
"Angry, hurt. You know…the same."
"Well I can't say I blame her, but isn't she taking things a little too far? Moving to Colorado seems like a pretty drastic step."
"She had her reasons. I'm sure I'll find out what they were soon enough." Clark replied, throwing the hay onto the bed with a little more force than was necessary.
He hadn't slept a wink last night, there were too many questions floating around in his head. And with Lois' current mood, he wasn't going to be getting many answers anytime soon.
"Why don't you go and see her? Talk to her?"
"I don't think that's a good idea, dad. I'll let her get settled before I do that. I want to, but right now I just…I can't."
The way Jonathan looked at him, Clark knew that he was very aware that there was something he wasn't telling him. But he didn't push.
"Okay, well we're done here. Why don't you go and see Chloe?"
"Oliver's with her. If you don't need me, I think I might go to the Fortress. I need to talk to Jor-El about something."
Jonathan nodded. "Okay."
~~~~~~~~~~
Lois stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel to dry herself off. As she did so, she caught sight of herself in the full length mirror and paused. She looked different somehow, than she had yesterday. She seemed a little fuller, her belly was very clearly rounded now and as she rubbed a hand delicately over her skin, she smiled.
"Hey there baby." she murmured and was rewarded with a kick. It was a pretty strong one, causing her to gasp a little, but it soon passed. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.
There was a knock at the door, breaking her out of her thoughts. Slipping into a robe, she went to answer it and her smile faded when she saw who it was.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, but stepped aside to let him in.
Clark stood in the middle of the Talon apartment's living room, looking like a lost soul. He was sad, she realised. No Lois! This is exactly how you'll get pulled back in, keep your distance.
"I'm sorry for what I said last night. I didn't meant to ask you that."
She walked around him and started making some tea. "It's okay Clark. You were in shock. I get it."
"How are you?" he asked, taking a seat at the counter opposite her. Lois noticed his eyes moving a little lower so she pulled the collar of her robe together a little tighter.
He quickly noticed and averted his gaze.
"I'm okay. How's Chloe this morning, any news?"
"No, still the same. Oliver's with her now. We're taking turns to sit with her."
"That's good."
Clark shrugged. "It means that he can go home and get some rest, not that I think he really does."
Silence fell and neither knew what to say. They both knew that they had to talk about the elephant in the room, yet Clark didn't seem particularly eager to bring it up.
So she guessed she would have to. "I want to show you something." She walked over to the table and took something out of her bag. As she handed it to him, he frowned.
"It's a book that I was keeping. Details of my pregnancy, everything's in there, doctors appointments, sonogram photographs, everything."
Clark opened it and gasped. There was a picture, a little grainy, and there really wasn't much to see, except for a tiny little blob in the middle. He pursed his lips, and turned to the next page. Another photo, with a larger blob. He kept flicking through until he got to the middle of the book but the last page that had been written on. On it was her most recent photo. And it was so very beautiful. His fingers grazed the page, that was his baby. He looked up at Lois, through watery eyes.
"I kept it for you Clark. I know that I should've told you, but I…I just couldn't face you. Not yet. So I kept this, so you wouldn't miss anything. So you see, I was going to tell you. I never planned to keep it from you, I couldn't do that to you, no matter how much I was hurting."
"Thank you." he whispered, closing the book. "So what does this mean?"
"I honestly don't know. But…I know that I want you to be a part of this baby's life. You're the father, and a child needs their father."
Clark nodded, but looked dejected. "I want to be there Lois, for everything from now on."
"Okay." she replied, unsure of how she was going to cope with having him around all the time. But she would deal with that later. "Do you wanna know what it is?"
Clark's eyes brightened. "You know?"
She nodded. "Yeah. It's a little boy."
A broad grin erupted from his face and he stood up, about to hug her, but then thought better of it. "That's amazing. We're having a son."
Again, she nodded. Because words were failing her right now. She winced, feeling the baby kick again.
"Lois? Are you okay?" Clark asked, noting her expression.
"Yeah, uh…" She hesitated for a moment, then said. "Give me your hand."
Clark reached out and she took his hand, pressing it over the spot where the baby was kicking.
"Whoa, he's strong." Clark said, in awe.
"Tell me about it." Lois replied, trying hard not to think about Clark's large hand almost covering her abdomen.
He looked tentatively at Lois. "Can I uh…talk to him?"
Lois took a deep breath, then nodded. But before he could, there was a knock at the door. She smiled apologetically and went to answer it.
Clark stood back, a wave of new emotions he'd never felt before washing over him. Happiness didn't quite cover it. He was going to be a dad, and he'd just felt his son kick for the first time. But even that wasn't enough to overshadow the loss he still felt at Lois being so distant. He was no fool, he knew that this changed nothing between them.
As Lois opened the door, a man charged in and drew her into a hug. Clark moved forward, but stopped, recognising him as the bartender from the tavern where he'd found Lois. He'd followed her here?
"Lois, how could you just go MIA without telling me where you were going? I've been going out of my mind with worry."
"I'm sorry, but I told you that my cousin needed me." She backed off and stood between the two men. Clark felt his heart sink as he realised what was right in front of him.
"A little warning would be nice next time, I thought Clark had kidnapped you…oh, hi Clark. I didn't see you there."
Lois grimaced as she looked at Clark. "Clark, this is Fletch. Fletch, this is…"
"We've already met." Clark said, darkly.
To Be Continued...
