This one I got a lot of positive feedback from from my friends who revise my work before I publish them~ Now that Erika has planted the seed in Izaya's mind, what questions does he start asking himself? This is my Izaya x insecurities chapter 3 I hope you enjoy!

((ft. Izaya being a usual asshole))


Izaya

Stupid Shizu-chan, don't say things like that.

I hurried down the hall not looking back, focusing on anything but the soft expression the blonde wore as he rehearsed words of gratitude that weren't conveyed often enough.

What right did a monster have to act so human?

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake the thought of Shizuo's gentle smile and touch as I fled down the hallway. I clutched the bag I held tighter, as I shook my head to clear my mind. To no avail, the brute's soothing voice still picked at my brain as I arrived at the door to Erika's room.

I remembered briefly that I had seen the text of her room number when I was scrolling past the plethora of messages she had sent me the night before. Exhaling slowly, I straightened up before knocking melodically on the door.

"Just a second," I heard a shrill voice muffled past the wood that separated us.

The door unlocked and Erika appeared with a small rubber band in her mouth as she was finishing the braid she usually wore when her hair was in bun.

"Oh, Iza-Iza, it's you!" she said between occupied lips, as she patted around her head to make sure all of her hair was in it's rightful place.

"The one and only~," I responded with a smirk, holding out her bag.

"How did the makeup go? It looks like you did a good job!" she exclaimed, clearly now, as she tied her hair up.

"I do have many hidden talents, Erika," I said, presenting what others might think of as a genuine smile. "Thank you for your assistance," I cooed, turning on my heel to leave.

"Where ya goin? Come in, come in, I was hoping I could talk to you alone! This saves me the trouble," she giggled cheerfully, taking my arm in both hands, dragging me into the door frame.

"Ah, I would really rather not intrude. What would your roommate think, having a boy in the room without her consent?" I tried persuading her, attempting to resist the persistent girl's force, but with no luck. The door shut behind us as she ignored my protest.

"No worries, she just left to go study in the cafe. I don't think she'd mind."

"Study?" I asked skeptically raising a brow. "Who studies on vacation?"

"She's kind of like a hardcore bookworm you see in anime, always having something to read...Never manga though, so we don't have much in common. She's pretty interesting when she does talk to me. Weird, but I like her."

For Erika to say someone was weird was surprising. I tried piecing together which of our classmates she could possibly be rooming with, since most of our peers were delinquents. There were only a few girls I could recall always having their noses in books, spending their school days in the library, but I doubted someone like Erika would be rooming with the female class representative. Before I could press the matter further, I dismissed the thought, seeing as getting out of my current situation came first and foremost.

"Still, coming into a lady's room? What if I were to see something I shouldn't?"

"Haha, you have sisters don't you?" she responded nonchalantly. "I'm sure you've seen their laundry before. Panties lying around aren't gonna kill you...Unless you're secretly some pervert?" she snickered to herself, pushing me down to sit on one of the neatly made beds. "Besides," she shrugged with a hand on her hip. "I don't think women's underwear does anything for you, anyway." Her smile was still shining as brightly as before when she continued; "so how about it, Iza-Iza? What really happened when you left Shinra's and Dotachin's place?" she purred.

"I figured that's what this was about…" I huffed a sigh dramatically, looking away into nothingness. "Sorry to disappoint, but I really don't remember much of anything, aside from passing out as soon as I got in my room." I massaged my temple, as if to assure her that the migraine from my hangover was clouding my memories.

"I see...So was it your kiss with Shizuo triggered you to faint?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, grinning curiously.

Ah, that…

All this time I had forgotten about that little stunt.

"As I'm sure you're already aware, I was highly intoxicated last night—"

"But you remember it right? How was it? Is he a good kisser?"

"Why don't you ask Shizu-chan yourself?" I sneered, since there was no point in denying the event had occurred with an audience present. "Wouldn't I love to see that fool speechless at such a blunt inquisition."

"That's exactly why I can't ask him!" she exclaimed matter-of-factually, moving her hands as she spoke. "I figured you would be more open, since ya know you're, well…" she trailed off.

"'Well' what?" I asked flatly, letting my facade down.

"Well, you know...you've never shown any interest in girls, so we all assumed…" her gaze drifted to the side as she mumbled.

I blinked unexpectedly at her point, feeling warmth spread to my cheeks. But really, did everyone assume I was gay from the start?

I leaned back on one hand, tilting my head to the side, beaming my cheshire grin.

"Ah, but there's a fault in your theory, ne? I simply don't have an interest in any one persons, so jumping to the conclusion that I'm gay—"

"But you are interested in someone. Everyone knows it!" she cut me off almost exasperatedly. "Frankly, I don't think it's unrequited either," she stated, crossing her arms.

I rolled my eyes once more, tiredly rebutting the same defense over again.

"Oh please, as if Shizu-chan were to actually return—" I bit back the reply, hoping my slip up would go unnoticed. Of course, it didn't.

"Ooooh? What was that?" she grinned cheekily back at me. "Was that an almost a love confession?!"

I cleared my throat, this time approaching with more sternness.

"As if the brute were capable of having romantic feelings." I stood up smiling with no readable emotion. "The day that that monster knows what 'love' is, will be the day that Hell freezes over." I clapped my hands together, affirming my final statement of the matter.

Erika seemed to get the message that the conversation was now over, but despite my cold, evasive tactics, she smiled sweetly at me.

"You'd be surprised what he's capable of."

When I exited the room, I shut the door softly, pausing for a moment after the 'click' and sighed deeply. I was in no specific hurry to get back to my room where he was awaiting my return, but I couldn't help but feel a sharp pang in my chest from the malice of my words.

So maybe I had been a little too harsh...Still, like the protozoan said himself, it is no one else's business.

The visual of tender, honeyed eyes staring back at my carmine ones was still fresh in my mind from the night before. Remembering the blonde as he embraced me had left me in a perplexed state. I could still feel the heat of his body as he slept, arms wrapped securely around me, just a handful of hours ago.

The thoughts pressing my mind caused me to subconsciously wrap my arms around myself, as if to recreate the warmth I secretly longed for. I could feel the colour dusting my cheeks as I walked through the empty hallway with my head down, staring at nothing in particular.

I hadn't, for as long as I could remember, felt at such a stalemate with my emotions. I wasn't going to deny that I didn't have them. That would only mean I'd be an entirely new breed of monster opposite to Shizu-chan, and there certainly was going to be none of that. But the confusion that lingered in the back of my mind had me doubting the reality of the situation. I could no longer deny that Erika might have just hit the nail on the head.

Our door had been left open a crack, I noticed, before letting myself in unannounced. I avoided making eye contact with the brute as he sat propped up on his bed. He watched me as I sat myself down onto what had originally been my own bed, having remained vacant for several nights now.

"What kept you?" Surprisingly, there was no longer a hint of accusation in his tone.

"Let's just say our number one fan was interested in our 'explicit activities'," I said without my usual demeanor.

In my peripheral vision, he tensed, head whipping in my direction as I continued;

"I told her I passed out...I wouldn't be surprised if she approaches you about what happened, though," I sighed laying my head back on my arms.

His shoulders relaxed some of their tension as he let his head fall back against the wooden headboard.

"She also asked if Shizu-chan were a good kisser~," I teased.

"...oh," was all he could say. There was a long silence between us for a while before he spoke again. "Is that all...?"

"Well..."

He craned his neck my way again with an almost worried expression on his face.

"How long..." I began slowly, trying to word my question so that I still had the upper hand. "Not that it even matters to me what people think, but how long has everyone been assuming that I'm...gay?" I finished without trying to sound too defensive.

His eyes widened and he blinked before averting his gaze, looking a bit embarrassed and crestfallen on my behalf.

"Uh...I don't...know..." he lied, blatantly.

I rolled my eyes pretending not to care about the matter any longer when he continued brokenly again:

"It's just that...you're always saying you love humans equally, but...I guess at this age it's weird to have not actually dated anyone. Or even attempted to..."

"Well, look who's talking," I scoffed, crossing my arms.

He didn't even look hurt himself. He more or less looked at me in pity. As if I was the victim.

Well whatever. They can gossip all they want.

"I'll have you know that I talk to plenty of women. Far more than you have. Or Shinra, for that matter."

"Screwing with their lives doesn't count, flea," he sighed. "You don't have to be embarrassed about it, you know."

I got up from my bed, annoyed with the allegation, closing the gap to stare at him above from a standing point of view.

"For all you know, I could have plenty of exes outside of our fishbowl called Rajin. It's not that hard to sweet talk your way into a relationship with someone who's desperate enough." My words sped up as my voice began to shake. "Especially with the looks I have. If I really felt like it, I could sleep with just about anyone—!"

Before I could stop myself; before I could stop and think about what I was about to say, and before I could practice what I had been preaching to the brute just minutes ago; I could only see the flash of pain before the fury in Shizuo's eyes. I was pinned down where he had just been lying so fast, that the wind was knocked out of me.

Looking up, without saying a word, the blonde's eyebrows were knit into an indecipherable expression I hadn't seen him wear before. I didn't even think that was possible, considering how Shizuo wore his heart on his sleeve at all times.

Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was pity. Maybe he was just so angry he didn't know what face to make because he hadn't experienced this kind of enmity before.

Yeah, that was probably it.

I closed my eyes waiting for what I knew was coming, hoping for a broken nose over a broken jaw.

To my dismay, it was neither.

I flinched when soft lips brushed against mine.

My heart skipped a beat as the warm flesh of the other's lips were crushed against my own. My hand, seizing onto the blonde's shirt in surprise of the attack. I could feel my throat swell and eyes squeeze shut mid-panic, as he cupped my cheek in one hand, mouth lingering closely as he spoke.

"Don't say stupid shit like that, flea," he whispered in a soft, husky voice that I felt resonate against the hold he had on my torso.

He pecked me one more time before he moved to sit at the foot of the bed as I laid frozen in place.

How dare he...How dare he speak so calmly.

The honesty and serenity of his voice made my stomach knot and my chest tighten. It was sickening how he could act so human at such inappropriate times.

"Ne, Shizu-chan." I said almost inaudibly, emotionlessly.

"Hm?"

"You're not supposed to like people."

He turned to look at me as I stared blankly at the ceiling fan gyrating noisily above the otherwise silent room.

"You're supposed to hate and hurt and destroy, like the monster you are. I'm the one who loves humanity," I rambled mostly to myself, but he continued to listen quietly. "I'm one who knows how to control my emotions...Yet, you still show signs of affection better than I can," I confessed, chuckling inwardly, feeling more and more depleted. "For some reason people like you...I can't understand why, but I was always jealous."

Stop.

I knew subconsciously, that needed to stop now before I dug myself a hole I wouldn't be able to get out of. I knew if I continued to allow myself such open vulnerability, I would lose everything I had worked so hard for up until this point, but I kept going.

"Ever since I met you...The attention you got everywhere you would go, whether or not you wanted it...May it be people seeking a fight for vengeance; friends wanting to hang out with you; your mother picking you up from school; girls talking nervously to each other about their crushes on you...I hated you for it. I hated you so much."

His caramel eyes never lost their focus as he clung to each sour insult that left my lips.

"But now I can't even find strength to fight you off when you kiss me...I—" I swallowed, feeling my voice shake as I pressed on, "I think I might actually—"

There was a loud knock at the door that jolted a shock through the both of us. Shizuo got to his feet immediately, and I sat up too fast, causing my head to spin.

"Oi, Shinra said you'd be ready ten minutes ago."

Kadota's low voice sounded even more sluggish today. There was lots chatter outside of the door, and I could pick out the baritone of Dotachin's voice arguing with Erika's verbose one.

I sighed deeply, grateful that I must have some good karma on my side for cutting our conversation off right then and there.

"Just a second," Shizuo replied, attention obviously fixated and irritated now.

When he turned back to me I had taken the opportunity to get up and pocket my phone and wallet. I could see in the corner of my eye that he was watching me, his face still holding onto mixed emotions and questions he desperately wanted answers to.

Sorry, Shizu-chan, but I regret saying anything.

Still avoiding eye contact, I brushed past him on my way to the door, only stopping when I felt the tips of his fingers meet mine.

"Like nothing happened," I reminded him softly before walking out the door to the crowd that awaited us.

The door hadn't even clicked shut behind me when I felt Shinra slap a hand on my shoulder and whisper in my ear:

"So how are you really feeling this morning?" he whispered slyly in my ear. "Headache? Stomachache? Are you perhaps sore anywhere else?" he teased lightly, quietly in my ear.

"Ha, ha. Very funny," I feigned sarcastically, squaring my shoulders and smirking condescendingly. "I think you're losing your touch, Kishitani-sensei, if you can't tell the difference when one of your regular patients is just fine."

"Hm, I suppose there's no discolouration to your face...You seem to be walking fine..." he observed with a hand on his chin, eyeing me up and down.

Shizuo stepped out of the door behind us, the furrow in his brow was back where it normally sat, but he looked slightly less broody than he usually did. I was sure however, only I could tell.

"Shizuo, good to see you in one piece as well," Shinra chirped above my ear.

The blonde simply clicked his tongue, obviously not in the mood to deal with the brunette's ridicule either.

Our gang walked down the hall to the elevator and then to the lobby floor. It seemed like forever ago, the whole fountain mishap that had occurred causing the ill-fitting rooming situation with the protozoan, I thought to myself as we walked through the spacious foyer. It was still as remarkable as I had thought when I first set foot inside.

Glancing around, I pondered what kind of atmosphere I could see myself in in the future as I evaluated the decor. What were the things that would forever stay timeless and classy? Modern, yet serene. I contemplated if the hotel staff ever got tired of being here. How could they, with so many people coming from all over Japan to vacation here?

I came to the realization that I had been so distracted with the rest of my posse's company, that I hadn't had many chances to people watch lately. The people among myself were conversing about something trivial as we crossed the entrance hall into a smaller, familiar one. We passed small souvenir shops, faculty doors, the laundromat, and so on. Eventually we passed the door to the arcade, at which I felt a wave of nostalgia.

Had it really only been yesterday?

The feeling of someone's eyes lingering on me had me creeping a glance over my shoulder.

Of course he was eyeing me in his peripheral, scrutinizing my body language, obviously connecting the two dots. It was almost cute, how he expected a reaction out of me.

Eyes locking, I sent him a chilling smirk, if for nothing else but the for sake of anyone who was watching us to observe the telepathic warning I sent the brute. His response was a deeper frown and focusing his gaze straight ahead.

Finally we reached the gift shop — which to me, looked more or less like one big, tacky, tourist repository. Everywhere you looked were shirts, keychains, shot glasses, sweatshirts; all gaudy looking items with the resort name and location on them.

I walked through the isles of miscellaneous houseware when someone tapped my shoulder.

"Which do you think Celty would like better?" Shinra said holding up two coffee mugs.

I rolled my eyes. "You realize that your beloved roommate has no head, correct?"

There were few people who knew that much about the guest at the Kishitani residence, and I took pride that I had figured it out by myself.

"Shhh!" he shushed me. "I need to bring something back for her, and you know how she loves to be in the kitchen...Oh! Maybe they have an apron here! Just thinking about coming home to my Celty in nothing but a frilly apron—"

"Whaaaaa?! It can't be?!"

The two of us whipped our heads around at the loud gasp. The sudden outburst came from Yumasaki Walker, hands and face pressed against the glass separating a decorative bulletin board, mouth agape.

"Yumacchi, what is it?!" Erika called running up to her partner in crime.

"How did they manage to get Junichi Nakamura-sensei's work here?! Their budget must have no limit if they can show one of his sculptures…"

You could almost see the hearts in his eyes as he read the newsletter in awe.

"Uh, who is Junichi Nakamura?" Shinra whispered to me and I shrugged, interested in the scene falling before us.

Erika must have overheard the question and answered for Yumasaki.

"He's one of the top ice sculpturists in Japan! Yumacchi's three-dimensional idol!"

The blonde snapped out of his dazed state to further educate us.

"He's famous for his Blue Ring Octopus sculpture! He's won multiple ice sculpting titles from around the world!" he stated. "How could you all be so ill-informed!"

The brunette standing next to me and I exchanged glances.

"He's everything Yumacchi inspires to be," Erika continued matter-of-factly.

"And his work is going to be here, next weekend for the 25th anniversary of the resort!" he said, nearly panting. "My dream for the 3D world is finally coming true!" he cried.

"Oh yeah," the girl said tapping her chin. "I think I heard about that. There's supposed to be some sort of big party or something. I even heard they were going to have a ball!"

"What perfect timing then." Kadota's deep voice sounded behind us.

I turned around and the taller male was standing there with some board shorts on a hanger.

"Enough fangirling, we still have to get lunch, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, boss," the brunette girl waved, grabbing her friend by the arm, pulling him away from the glass and towards where the clothing racks were.

I too dispersed and found my way over to where the male swimwear was hanging, not at all enthusiastic about the ordeal. I began plucking my way through the different colours and designs of fabrics when a too-close voice got my attention.

"Oi," the gravely tone addressed me. I didn't have to look over my shoulder to know who it was.

"Hmm?"

"Do you...Do you think she planned this on purpose?" he said in a low whisper, and I knew what he was referring to.

I smirked, knowing the brute could sense it. "Look at you, finally catching onto things," I sneered.

"Che."

"Behind those sparkling eyes and bright smile, Erika has a very dark sense of humor, ne?"

"You mean...she—"

"Did you really think she was going to believe me when I lied to her?"

"You always lie and people believe you, why is this any different?" he said flatly.

I laughed at that. "Her mind is set on those creepy fantasies, not even I can deter her from those erotic daydreams."

He was silent for a while, still following closely behind me as a searched through the rack pulling items out to inspect them.

"Gross."

I chuckled at his simple-mindedness.

"Let's just hope that makeup is waterproof, ne?"