Where the Streets Have No Name

Chapter 29

"Carmen," Edward called as he followed her to his room.

Carmen was curled up on the bed, sobbing hysterically. Edward felt helpless.

What was he suppose to do? What should he say? How did one comfort a pregnant woman who was so broken up over missing out on a hot beverage?

He knew about the chemical flux that was taking place inside her body and assumed it was the hormonal upheaval that was making her act so irrationally.

He would have to get used to these episodes and learn to deal with them.

"Carmen," he tried again cautiously. He reached out and stroked her hair softly. "Hey, sweetie. It's okay; it's gonna be okay, baby," he said with a gentle cadence.

"I... I c-can't do this," Carmen said through tearful hiccups. "It feels like I'm giving my life away. I d-don't think I'm c-cut out for this, Edward. And it's only just the beginning."

Edward was startled to realize that what Carmen just said was true for him too. He also felt as though he had just signed his life away. Only he had a deep seated conviction that told him it was the right thing to do, whether it fit neatly into his master plan or not. He had to do it so he would. Throwing a tantrum wasn't a luxury he could afford. There had to be at least one adult in this partnership, and from the look of it, it was going to be him.

His new job description required for him to console Carmen, even if he was afraid of the exact same things she was scared of. He couldn't let her see his own panic; he would bear his cross alone.

"I know, baby. I know it's scary. But you can do it. It will be hard to make do without coffee for a little while, but it will get easier after a week or two; you'll see. Or we'll get decaf for you. I'll stock our kitchen with the best decaf they have. Heck, I'll give up coffee too. I won't have a sip of coffee for the entire nine months. What do you say about that? We'll do it together, okay?" he said with warmth. He had learned his lesson and knew better than to try the "it's just coffee" angle.

"That's not it. You don't understand. It's not just coffee; it's everything!" Carmen wailed as she sat up. "I'm sick all the time, I can't work or study, I know my parents will hate me when they find out, then... then I'll get fat and ugly and nobody will want me! Hell, even you don't want me; I can tell," she added exasperatedly.

"And that's all I can think about. I know it's not right; I shouldn't be self centered like this. I should be like you, and... and think about the baby first. Why can't I be like that? Why can't I be normal? I'm the mother of this thing, for God's sake! I should be fighting for it more than you! What's wrong with me?" She truly sounded lost and troubled. "Maybe... maybe it's just not something I should do. Maybe I'm not meant be anyone's mother. Not this time, anyway."

Thank you Lulabelle98, HeidiJoVT, and Dinx.